Ashlynn POV.
I'm in love, I'm in love, I finally found someone who'd love me for who I'm, well not who I'm she doesn't know I'm a little, we've been trying something else, I got to the club more and more often, we get to play together there, I was too worried about telling my family about her, they wouldn't get it.
"Ashlynn, wanna play?" Kiara asks me, I shake my head no, I don't want to go little, I'm fighting my little side, I'm trying my best to avoid slipping."No, I'm not feeling little," I tell her, she leaves me be whenever I tell her that I'm not feeling little to join her in her games.
"But you can colour even if you're not little," she says, but colouring would make me slip."No, I don't feel like it," I tell her hoping she'd get lost but she doesn't, she keeps on whining about playing alone."Come on Ashlynn, you never home anymore, and you never play with me!" she whines, there's no leaving without playing with Kiara, I don't want her to get upset and cry either, I'm not evil, I really like her.
"Fine, one page," I say, deciding to colour with her, I'm happy today, I won't see Amber today either.We went to Kiara's room, it's hers and Jacob's she got some colouring books for us, along with her crayons, we both sat on the floor and began to colour, I was so happy that I drew hearts over the page, used pretty light colours. And then I slipped, I completely slipped for the first time in a couple of solid months, ever since I and Amber got together, ever since I fell in love.
"Kiki wook, pwetty hearts," I say showing off my colouring and drawings."Pretty," Kiara says with a big smile, now that I'm feeling little, I didn't mind telling her everything."Kiki, I think I'm in love," I whisper to her, I trust her, she's my bestie.
"In love? Me too, but me love daddy, and you?" she asks me making me giggle, I know she would keep my secret."Her name is Amber," I whisper to her, waiting for her reaction, she's in straight relation with her daddy while I'm more on the bi side."She's your mommy?" Kiara asks raising a brow at me, for us littles, a lover would be our dom, would be our cg, they'd be our mommies and daddies, but I'm hiding my little side from Amber."Nu, she doesn't know I'm a little," I say with a frown, I want to tell her, but that's not what she wants, she wants a submissive, not a little.
"Why not? Why not tell her?" kiara asks, but it's complicated, so complicated it got my head spinning and little space slipping off, I groaned and stood off the ground,I don't wanna talk anymore."Ashlynn?" she calls me but I decided to ignore her and get back to my room.
"I got...I got something to do," I say leaving her room, feeling broken, maybe I should just tell Amber what I'm, but I'm still afraid of her reaction, maybe I should think this through.I sat in my bed, trying to take a nap, naps usually help me when I'm feeling a drop between the two spaces, I closed my eyes trying to stop thinking, if I don't think I won't feel this lonely right?But my room isn't my room anymore, ever since Jordy got married and left, I moved into Kiara's old room, a room with only one bed instead of the room with two beds for me and Jordy, now I sleep alone, now I don't have anyone to slip in their bed when feeling lonely, I'm too old and big to go to my mother's bed or Keiran, god help Keiran, he's such an old guy with no mate, how does he live with the emptiness, at twenty-five, the void in my soul is killing me.
I had to force myself to relax, don't think, I'll be with Amber soon, and then everything would be better, she might not be my mate, but she's the one I'm falling in love with, she's here and she fills the pain, I love her, I tell myself over and over again, I do, don't I?
I slept and had some dreams, bad dreams, nightmares, I've been having them again when I was younger, I always ran to sleep in Jordy's bed or mom's even Keiran's bed wasn't a bad option.I woke up in fear, I was trembling, sweaty with the after effect of the dream, I needed someone to hold me, someone to tell me it was all okay, and the only person I could think about right now was Amber. I got my phone and called her, but she doesn't live in the same town as me, she got to work in the daytime, but I hoped she'd have some time to answer her phone.
"Hello," she says answering the phone.
"A...Amber," I say although I'm supposed to call her mistress or something else out of respect, but I wasn't feeling like it right now."Yes, Ashlynn?" she answers me, her voice was monotone, I couldn't read her over the phone."I...I had a nightmare," I say on the verge of tears now, is it time to tell her I'm little? It feels like it."A nightmare?" she repeats after me, yes a nightmare!
"Mhm, I'm scared," I confess, feeling little, I'm telling her things now."Where are you Ashlynn?" she asks me."Home, in my bed," I tell her, looking around the room, but I hate being here alone."It's scary in here," I add, her voice was still the same monotone voice, it didn't change."You don't like being alone?" she asks me, I did mention that before to her, the fact that I don't enjoy being alone.
"Nu, nut at all, alone is scawy," I confess again."Ashlynn, do you have anything to tell me?" she asks her voice finally changing, she sounded interested this time."Mhm, me coloured a pretty, I added hearts," I say, I did that today."Ashlynn, do you feel different?" she asks me, I didn't feel different.
"I feel little," I explain to her, that's how I feel right now."Little, I see," she says, not saying anything else."Amber," I say trying to get her to talk."Shouldn't it be mommy?" she asks me, making my heart skip a beat, mommy?
"Would you be...?" I ask not finishing the question."Now say it," she orders me."Mommy," I saw with a blush.Ashlynn POV. "I want you to move in," she tells me, I agreed with that, I want to move in with her, I'd love to be with her and not alone the whole time, but I also had to inform my family about moving out. I was afraid of their reaction, what if they don't allow me to go, I'm a strong dominant wolf, as I'm an adult, but I'm worried about the two alpha reactions."I live with my family," I tell her, I do live with my family right now, I wasn't ready to move out. "You are a big girl, well you are practically a little girl and submissive, but that still counts as big girl you should be able to move in with me," she says, I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but she only knows the little side of me, the one that likes to start new adventures and tried to submit to her, she never met the big Ashlynn or my dominant side."I don't know if I should do this yet, isn't it too early?" I ask her, we've only known each other for a couple of months now, she's not the one that was created for me, she
Ashlynn POV. I've been here for a month, it's only one month, but it's hell, I'm living in hell, Amber changed, it started soon after I moved in with her, she took my phone away, she locked me in, she did things...I don't want to mention any more of that, I'm stronger than my injuries, I'm stronger than the bruises she leaves over me my body, she always says she didn't hit me that bad, since my bruises would disappear right away, but I'm a wolf, it's the reason I'm healing real quick.But I'm done being treated as a toy, I'm done being a little who's abused, she has ruined me, ruined my little side, she's not someone I want to stay with, a month was more than enough, she terrorized me, she scared me, she told me I could never leave. But guess what happened today, this morning my wolf has decided that enough and is enough, we aren't hiding anymore, we're done, I'm a dominant wolf and not some helpless girl."Ashlynn, where are you little bitch?" she yells, but the toy she's calling i
Ashlynn POV. "What happened to your mommy?" Kiara asks me, she's sleeping in my room tonight, her daddy, aka my brother, is out on patrols for the night, we haven't had a sleepover in a while now. "We broke up," I explain to her, even after all that time, her little space still isn't very familiar with her wolf side or our rules. "Why broke up?" she asks me. "She's not my mate Kiara, you know Jacob explained to you what mates are," I remind her. "Jacob is my mate," she says all excited, I just smile at her, she's lucky to have such a good mate and daddy, I wonder if I'd ever find my mate, if he or she is a human, then I don't want them, I think to myself with a shake to my head, I do not want any human relation, none! "And she wasn't mine, can you keep it a secret?" I ask her, I don't want my family to know, I'm a big girl, I'm a dominant wolf, I should be able to protect myself, I should be able to kick anyone's bum, I should've but I couldn't I was weak. "Why secret?" she ask
Ashlynn POV. I can't sleep, I can't sleep, grr, I growled at myself, I want to sleep, why can't I sleep, I need the rest, I need to have some time where I wouldn't be thinking about her, about things, about my mate being MIA so far, why can't my mate just show up, I can use to be held by the one who is made for me, my wolf mate, my one and only. I groaned and left the bed this time, I looked at the time, it was four am, I haven't had any second of sleep tonight, the doctor said my blood work was clean thankfully, there was no reason for me not falling asleep, or maybe it's the lack of shifting that keeping me awake. But my fear of going feral once I shift, has me sticking to my human form, I went down the stairs, deciding to see if anyone is up or around, maybe get some water. I saw some of the patrol enforcers in the kitchen along with mom, I gave everyone a smile and said my good mornings. "Good morning, Ash, isn't it a bit early for you?" mom asks me, it's only four am. "I dec
Ashlynn POV. The day was getting better, I was starting to feel better now, I'm going over to Kitty's place, the best place to ever be! And the hot guys training without a shirt is a big plus, me and Micah love to watch them over some hot chocolate, while Jordan would yell at the two of us to get inside and stop looking. "Hey, kiki," I say sitting next to my bestie, she wasn't feeling little today, which is rare for her. "Hey, love, what's up?" she answers me. "I'm going to a bonfire today, want to join?" I ask her, she looks at me and nods. "I'll talk to Jacob about it," she says, they are like the worse kind of boyfriend and girlfriend, they act like a married couple who can't be more than three feet apart. "Sure," I say, wherever she goes he goes, it's a mate thing, a thing I never had before. After breakfast, I went back to my room, I packed my things to get to Jordan's place, this time I was sure once I get there I'd be happy and well treated, nothing would hurt me there,
Ashlynn POV. In my car, I sped off toward my brother's place, I sent them a message along with my mother's, telling them I'm on my way, I started the long drive to their place, and I had music on to keep me company, but my brain kept on repeating the scent I've smelled. So faint, yet so strong, I wonder how would it smell when it's closer, when it's stronger, my wolf wants to roll down in that scent, to bite the owner and call them ours, only ours. I shook my head at that, I want them, it's not that I don't want them, but I'm not ready yet, I need to have some time to pick up all the broken pieces that broke off me due to Amber and her memories. Maybe once I'm feeling better, I'll get back to them, I'll search for them, I'll have Liam's help, they aren't anyone in my pack, I know everyone, they must be one of his friends who's coming over to spend the night, I'd be able to find them, I'm sure I would. Now that I have a plan, I slowed down a little, there's no need to be in a hurr
Ashlynn POV. I went to the guest room, of course, I knew where it is, I always stay there when I come over, Jordy thinks he's going to be free of me! Never! I threw my things in the room, and got ready for bed, I felt energized, I felt at peace with myself, after all that time of running, I could finally rest, I know I'm strong, why I'm scaring myself? For once in a really long time, I fell asleep, I just need to recharge, and that's what this place provides, I challenge Amber to come over here, and Kitty would eat her alive. I woke up to someone jumping on top of me, I woke up slowly, I knew I wasn't in danger, not in Micah and Jordan's place, they are one of the strongest packs around, and nothing would hurt me except Micah's weight. "Get off, you're crushing my bones," I inform him, it's funny and cute when I jump on top f Jordan, but Micah's weight, which is made of eighty per cent muscles, is not so fun. "Wakey, wakey, don't you wanna watch them run?" he asks me making me
Ashlynn POV. God, my head hurt so badly, what happened? What did happen, I tried to wake up, to open my eyes, but they felt super heavy, I couldn't wake up, but why couldn't I wake up, I groaned to myself, this isn't happening again. I'm a big strong dominant wolf, I'm not someone to be hurt or abused, I can wake up, I should wake up, but then I felt weak, I don't want to feel weak. "Mmmmm," I whined and groaned trying to move my body, trying to get my consciousness to wake the frick up. "Hey princess, my sweet princess," the voice says, I recognize this voice, I've heard it before everything went dark, it was there. I whined some more, why can't I wake up, what did happen to me? I was suffering from lack of sleep, and insomnia, not being in a coma, was I in some kind of incident, unless if a meteor have hit me and sent me to a medical coma. I think I fell back to sleep, the darkness took hold of me and my mind again, my dreams were interrupted by memories of Amber, memories of t
Aspen POV. "I'm gonna bite you then you'll be mine, okay?" Ashlynn asks me, we're finally in our new place, the one we just wanted to get to turn out, you can't leave the city but you can take over it. "Fine baby, I know how this goes," I assure her, she's worried about doing this, she's been worried about biting me for a month now. She does want me, but she's worried since I'm not a wolf, and I almost died from a wolf bite, her bite might kill me, but it's what kept me alive, thinking about them, my connection to them both, I don't want to die, I'll never die and leave them behind, without anyone to take care of them, they could only take care of each other for so long, they need me and I need them too, I might need them more then they need me. "Okay, but tell me if it hurt," she says getting close to my neck kissing it, licking it, marking her territory before she finally biting me, connecting our souls to each other. I could feel her inside me along with Eliot, I could feel them
Eli POV. "We're here to win the war," my mate says, I smiled at her, she's right, we're going to win this war, we're going to take what's ours again, and then we can finally get the chance to move in somewhere and live our happy life. "We glad to have you, let's go," Marco says, he's with us? I expected him to scold us, to tell us he's going to call Aspen and tell him to come and get us. "Are you for real?" I ask him, it's not that I don't want to fight, or not that I'm sure we're going to win, but him being so sure about us coming, that means something is really bad, there's no other explanation, especially that I know Marco. "Yes, let's go," Marco says in a cold voice, telling us to get going, we were in the cars, but we weren't going home, home is our safe place, Aspen always kept is a safe place, I didn't expect to go there, but we didn't go to the club either, the club is a big war zone, where are we going then? "Where are we going?" I ask Marco getting worried now, is Aspen
Ashlynn POV. "We need to save him now!" I say worriedly, he's in danger! If rogues are taking over the city, he could end up dead any day now, I know he said not to come, but I'm not going to sit back and let my mate get hurt. "What happened!" Eli asks worried too, he didn't read the email, only I did so and I know what's waiting there. "Rogues all over the city, a war between two mafia bosses have them working for them," I say showing him the screen and the two clubs' logos, daddy's club logo! "He sent us away..." Eli says, he sent us away to keep us safe, but he's the human one between us three, he's the one who might get in trouble, who could get hurt and might die, not us! We're too far away from mortality. "We can't stay away anymore," I finish the sentence for him, we can't stay away anymore, he needs us. "We need to get going," Eli says offering me a hand, ready to leave this place and go save our mate, he needs u and we're going to go and get him."Go where, you two free
Ashlynn POV. "If you don't sit down and be a good girl, I'm calling Jordan, I don't care that you are mated and old now, I'll call him and he'll come to get your ass little sis," Keiran threatens me, it's rare for him to threaten me, he hasn't done so in so long, but right now he's doing so, threatening me with Jodan, Jordan wasn't here, he's in his pack with his mate, but if we call him, maybe he'd come. "He can't have my bum anymore, it belongs to Aspen," I sass back to my brother, he's also the alpha and I'm on his land, I should be more respectful, but I'm not and I won't I still get the chance to annoy him. "Then should I call him? Tell him that you're being a naughty little thing?" he says, that got me to pout, I don't like this plan, I prefer him calling Jordan, Jordan isn't as scary and I'm used to him, I can talk him out of spanking me, but Aspen, he told Eli to give my bum three smacks and then send me to bed early. All I did was drive Eli crazy, bullying Kiara into gett
Aspen POV. "Baby, are you there? Are you safe need me to go and get you?" I answer Eli worried about him, is he still in the airport, is he back at home? What's going on with him? "I made it to Ashy's place, but please don't be mad," he says right away, I growled, I was angry at him, but not so angry, he's safe back at Ashlynn's place, away from here. "Didn't I say to wait for me?" I say, happy that he disobeyed me for once, but also trying to say it's not okay to disobey me. "Sorry daddy, Ash is sorry too aren't you?" he says, I could hear a small hit sound and then a grunt before finally, Ash's voice came on the line. "Sorry for leaving without telling you so daddy, I was really mad at you, still am," Ashlynn says, I'm okay with her being mad at me, as long as she's talking to me and staying safe, there. "Guys," I say to them both, it's better to keep them safe, but secrets are clearly not the way to go, if we keep on hiding things from each other, we're gonna keep on fighting
Eli POV. "Now can you please untie me," I ask the alpha, I don't expect Jacob to untie me, he'd keep me tied forever now. "Untie him, boys," alpha Cameron ordered her kids who just shared a look but didn't move to untie me, I had to take things into my hands, I could untie myself all along, they need better ways to keep me in place, I pulled the rope away and got up. I only looked at the alpha, waiting for her to take me to my baby mate, she's getting her bum kicked, for leaving like this. "Can we go see Ashlynn now?" I ask her, she nods and starts to move toward the house, her house, they had me tied up in a small room, we left this room and got out, she had a car waiting for us, how far away were they keeping me from the main house. The two guys got in their own car, while I ride with the alpha, the drive wasn't the longest but it was long enough for the alpha to talk to me. "Would you keep my baby safe?" she asks me. "Of course, she's mine, she's my baby now, I would always ke
Eli POV. "And why are you here?" the first guy asks me, I looked at him, trying my best not to growl, or glare at him, I need them and not the other way around. "I'm here to see her," I say yet again, we've been going over this for over an hour now, I've made it to her pack, but I didn't have any access to get in yet. After I ended the call with daddy Aspen, I got on the plane as fast as possible, if he got here before he was going to tan my bum, and knowing that if I wait for him, he'd find out that Ashlynn isn't here with me, and if he finds that out, he was going to beat my bum a second time for that, I should have stayed with her or maybe just call him right away, now that I'm here not daring to use his name to gain any privilege to get in the pack, I thought using my mate's name would be enough but it clearly wasn't. "I'm here to see her," I repeat to the guy, who I still don't know his name, why did he do this, why can't they just call her siblings they know who I'm, they kn
Aspen POV. "Boss, you need to calm down, you're scaring her," Marco tries to tell me, he just drove my baby girl home, and I'm the one who got to sit here and worry about scaring her too much, pushing her too far, about making things much worse than they were. "She was attacked in my club, on my ground, this is the worse thing has ever gotten to, they are on my land, in my club!" I snarl at him, I felt the need to hit, scream, and throw a tantrum, but I'm too old for tantrums and I'm not the little one around here. "I know boss, we would never allow anything like this to happen again," he promises me, but it's too late, she was hurt and angry at me. "She knows what our real work is now," I say with a sigh, I don't know which got me angrier, her being attacked, or her finding out what my real job is. "She was close to finding out, she's living in the same house as us, she's a dominant wolf, she would have just asked Eliot and he'd tell her," Marco says, although he had a point, I
Eli POV. I knew exactly how Ashlynn felt, I was lied to also, and it's not a nice feeling, to have your own mate hiding things from you, and for what? I'm not going to say I'm ashamed of my work, I love my work, I did it, I knew what I was doing the whole time, but now that she's here with us, I want to come clean to her, to confess my job and make sure she's okay with that. "She's really mad at you," I tell Aspen, who just nods his head, I love him, I really do, and have been in love with him for years now. But Ashlynn is what completes us, she's our missing link and without her, we don't feel complete. "Do you think if I told her right away she wouldn't be mad? She would've just joined us here?" He asks me, although he made a point, I wasn't sure. "For wolves, it's different when I saw Ashlynn, I knew right away she's mine," I say but that kind of got him sad, he looked at me with sad eyes now. "So you forgot about me? If it's Ashlynn what you need Eli, I won't stand in the w