Ashlynn POV.
It's you and your world and I'm stuck in the middle, I got the edge of the knife and it hurt just a little. It's not like I asked for this, no one would ever ask for this, but I'm lonely, and it's a lonely night, the loneliest night of my life, okay I'm done using song lyrics to describe what's going on with me.
I'm lonely, that's the thing that's killing me on the inside, I'm lonely, there's a big hole in my chest, a feeling of missing something or someone. My soul isn't complete, there's a big piece of me gone, or maybe I haven't found it yet, I feel the need to go out there and search for my lost piece, I can't take this pain, this emptiness. I feel the need to cry, to mourn, to yell and scream, but all of those won't help my broken heart, what I need is someone to love, all wolves would look for their mate, for someone to lay over their shoulder and feel loved.
That's what we are wolves, but we are souls who were broken in half, we're never complete until we find our other half, only then we'd feel the peace.Maybe you know me, maybe you remember me from my sibling's stories, you know my older brothers, they found their other half, they are now mated and living their happily ever after.
Jacob's mate moved in with us, she was our new stepsister, my brother Jordan, he's my favourite was and would always be, we started so much chaos together, but he's not here anymore, he got mated when he moved for training in another pack, now he lives there.Jordan and Micah are doing well, thank you for asking, Kiara and Jacob are also well, we've grown up a few years since the last time you saw us and our stories, I'm not sixteen anymore, I graduated high school, and then went to university, I even studied something I really love, I studied Archaeology.
It's the science of studying the ancient and recent human past through material remains, it's going back in time and discovering new treasures, I loved it, but this job requires me to leave the small town I was raised in, I wasn't born here, but it's all I remember, I can't remember the pack where my mother used to be the alpha. My current mother, she's the one I call mom, she's my aunt on my mother's side, she's her sister, the one who raised me, the one who brushed my hair, the one who kissed my injuries. She's the only mother I know, she's also our current alpha, along with my older brother Keiran, he's the next one in charge, and after him comes my other brother and beta Jacob. And the next one in charge of being the most dominant wolves in the pack, I'm the third in command, used to be forth, but with Kitty gone, it's me, kitty is Jordan, it's my nickname to my blond brother with green eyes, they shine like a cat eye.
I'm twenty-five now, yeah I'm getting old, I'm over my teenager years, I'm past my adulting year, the biggest year in our life, the one where we reach the big age of twenty-one, it's really important for all wolves, it's the year where we find our mates, we could feel the pull toward them before, but at the age of twenty-one, you are sure who your mate is, everything in you calls to them, their scent, their look, once you find them, you'd know it's them.
I haven't found that special someone yet, I knew I'm dominant, I would be able to identify them, but they aren't in my pack, they aren't in my brother's new pack either, they aren't anywhere to be found, and here I'm going insane."Keiran, I'm going out," I call in the house, I don't need permission anymore, I'm too old to be told no, I didn't move out of my mother's house either, why would I? I can't survive alone, no wolf likes to live alone, we need to stay together, we need to be close and connected, I'm the happiest in my mother's place, I got my siblings with me here.
"Wait up," Jacob yells after me, I stopped and turned to him, he was holding Kiara's hand, his mate, my sister, she had her lilac hair pulled up in two french braids, mom's doing.Even after all these years she and mom would need some time alone together, she started her journey in our family hating everyone, but now she loves us, and I hope she does, I love having her as my sister.
"You two want to come?" I asked them, I was hoping they'd come too, we'll have more fun together, I won't be as lonely."No, Kiki isn't feeling her best," he says, I frowned."Are you okay Kiara? What's wrong?" I ask her.
"My tummy ache," she says in a low voice, she's in her little space, when she regresses Kiara is no older than four years old, most days we'd regress together, but I wasn't feeling like it, Kiara got Jacob to take care of her while I had no one."You need anything?" I ask my brother again.
"Are you feeling big?" he asks, I rolled my eyes at him, I look big, I'm feeling big, can't he see that, I had one of my evening dresses on, a full face of makeup and high heels."What do you think?" I ask him with sass."Just be careful please," he says, I smile and nod, I left the house and moved to my car, yes my car, I learned how to drive and got my own car now, no need to steal one of my brother's car anymore.Although it was fun, I never gave up on borrowing their cars, even after that one-time incident where we ended up in jail, I kept borrowing their cars until mom bought me one of my own. I got inside my orange Hyundai car, it's special, other than my siblings' neutral colour cars, my little side loves that our car is special.
I drove out of the driveway slowly and steadily, making sure not to go too fast, even at this age I still get yelled at for driving too fast, once I left the perimeter of our home, I sped off toward the town, heading to the club. It's not little's night today, but that's fine by me, I could use a night off, and a chance to meet people other than my siblings.Ashlynn POV. When I made it to the club, I parked my car and got out, moving toward the door, the bouncer is my friend, he was my friend since I was much younger, since the first time I came over to the club, I used to only come to the littles nights. But now I come over on regular basis, he smiled when he saw me, and I stopped to say my hellos."Hey Bennie," I say with a smile. "Miss Ash, happy to see you again, you feeling better?" he asks me, last time I came over, I was in my little space, I was all alone, and I happened to trip and scratch my knee. "Yeah, I'm all good," I say, the scratch healed before I made it home, but the little side of me was hurt and in pain, she wanted a caregiver of her own, but I'm all alone."That's good, tonight is a sub night, you sure you want to go in?" he asks me, I thought it was a neutral night, no real events, but I needed the night out, I won't object to any event they have ready. "That's fine," I say ready to get in, but Bennie stopped me
Ashlynn POV. I'm in love, I'm in love, I finally found someone who'd love me for who I'm, well not who I'm she doesn't know I'm a little, we've been trying something else, I got to the club more and more often, we get to play together there, I was too worried about telling my family about her, they wouldn't get it. "Ashlynn, wanna play?" Kiara asks me, I shake my head no, I don't want to go little, I'm fighting my little side, I'm trying my best to avoid slipping."No, I'm not feeling little," I tell her, she leaves me be whenever I tell her that I'm not feeling little to join her in her games. "But you can colour even if you're not little," she says, but colouring would make me slip. "No, I don't feel like it," I tell her hoping she'd get lost but she doesn't, she keeps on whining about playing alone."Come on Ashlynn, you never home anymore, and you never play with me!" she whines, there's no leaving without playing with Kiara, I don't want her to get upset and cry either, I'm n
Ashlynn POV. "I want you to move in," she tells me, I agreed with that, I want to move in with her, I'd love to be with her and not alone the whole time, but I also had to inform my family about moving out. I was afraid of their reaction, what if they don't allow me to go, I'm a strong dominant wolf, as I'm an adult, but I'm worried about the two alpha reactions."I live with my family," I tell her, I do live with my family right now, I wasn't ready to move out. "You are a big girl, well you are practically a little girl and submissive, but that still counts as big girl you should be able to move in with me," she says, I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but she only knows the little side of me, the one that likes to start new adventures and tried to submit to her, she never met the big Ashlynn or my dominant side."I don't know if I should do this yet, isn't it too early?" I ask her, we've only known each other for a couple of months now, she's not the one that was created for me, she
Ashlynn POV. I've been here for a month, it's only one month, but it's hell, I'm living in hell, Amber changed, it started soon after I moved in with her, she took my phone away, she locked me in, she did things...I don't want to mention any more of that, I'm stronger than my injuries, I'm stronger than the bruises she leaves over me my body, she always says she didn't hit me that bad, since my bruises would disappear right away, but I'm a wolf, it's the reason I'm healing real quick.But I'm done being treated as a toy, I'm done being a little who's abused, she has ruined me, ruined my little side, she's not someone I want to stay with, a month was more than enough, she terrorized me, she scared me, she told me I could never leave. But guess what happened today, this morning my wolf has decided that enough and is enough, we aren't hiding anymore, we're done, I'm a dominant wolf and not some helpless girl."Ashlynn, where are you little bitch?" she yells, but the toy she's calling i
Ashlynn POV. "What happened to your mommy?" Kiara asks me, she's sleeping in my room tonight, her daddy, aka my brother, is out on patrols for the night, we haven't had a sleepover in a while now. "We broke up," I explain to her, even after all that time, her little space still isn't very familiar with her wolf side or our rules. "Why broke up?" she asks me. "She's not my mate Kiara, you know Jacob explained to you what mates are," I remind her. "Jacob is my mate," she says all excited, I just smile at her, she's lucky to have such a good mate and daddy, I wonder if I'd ever find my mate, if he or she is a human, then I don't want them, I think to myself with a shake to my head, I do not want any human relation, none! "And she wasn't mine, can you keep it a secret?" I ask her, I don't want my family to know, I'm a big girl, I'm a dominant wolf, I should be able to protect myself, I should be able to kick anyone's bum, I should've but I couldn't I was weak. "Why secret?" she ask
Ashlynn POV. I can't sleep, I can't sleep, grr, I growled at myself, I want to sleep, why can't I sleep, I need the rest, I need to have some time where I wouldn't be thinking about her, about things, about my mate being MIA so far, why can't my mate just show up, I can use to be held by the one who is made for me, my wolf mate, my one and only. I groaned and left the bed this time, I looked at the time, it was four am, I haven't had any second of sleep tonight, the doctor said my blood work was clean thankfully, there was no reason for me not falling asleep, or maybe it's the lack of shifting that keeping me awake. But my fear of going feral once I shift, has me sticking to my human form, I went down the stairs, deciding to see if anyone is up or around, maybe get some water. I saw some of the patrol enforcers in the kitchen along with mom, I gave everyone a smile and said my good mornings. "Good morning, Ash, isn't it a bit early for you?" mom asks me, it's only four am. "I dec
Ashlynn POV. The day was getting better, I was starting to feel better now, I'm going over to Kitty's place, the best place to ever be! And the hot guys training without a shirt is a big plus, me and Micah love to watch them over some hot chocolate, while Jordan would yell at the two of us to get inside and stop looking. "Hey, kiki," I say sitting next to my bestie, she wasn't feeling little today, which is rare for her. "Hey, love, what's up?" she answers me. "I'm going to a bonfire today, want to join?" I ask her, she looks at me and nods. "I'll talk to Jacob about it," she says, they are like the worse kind of boyfriend and girlfriend, they act like a married couple who can't be more than three feet apart. "Sure," I say, wherever she goes he goes, it's a mate thing, a thing I never had before. After breakfast, I went back to my room, I packed my things to get to Jordan's place, this time I was sure once I get there I'd be happy and well treated, nothing would hurt me there,
Ashlynn POV. In my car, I sped off toward my brother's place, I sent them a message along with my mother's, telling them I'm on my way, I started the long drive to their place, and I had music on to keep me company, but my brain kept on repeating the scent I've smelled. So faint, yet so strong, I wonder how would it smell when it's closer, when it's stronger, my wolf wants to roll down in that scent, to bite the owner and call them ours, only ours. I shook my head at that, I want them, it's not that I don't want them, but I'm not ready yet, I need to have some time to pick up all the broken pieces that broke off me due to Amber and her memories. Maybe once I'm feeling better, I'll get back to them, I'll search for them, I'll have Liam's help, they aren't anyone in my pack, I know everyone, they must be one of his friends who's coming over to spend the night, I'd be able to find them, I'm sure I would. Now that I have a plan, I slowed down a little, there's no need to be in a hurr