One

   DEVAN

    The week Matt had died had been the toughest for me. I could barely go a day without thinking of him, I had lost him and I was at fault.

    With Matt gone, my whole life had taken a cruel twist, turning me inside out, until I could barely breathe. I wanted to live again, I wanted to breathe. However, it was very clear that I wasn't going to be able to live anymore.

    My academic work suffered greatly now, as I barely paid any attention to it. This was my final year in high school, but I was sure I wasn't going to be able to graduate due to my poor grades.

     After his death, I had spent weeks, and months attending therapy sessions with various therapists. I couldn't cope with living any longer. However, by the time I was declared fit enough to return to school, I was eighteen and already a year behind in my school work.

    That afternoon as I strode through the school halls with my headphones on my ears, and music blasting fully into my ears, I knew I had to do something about this broken life, I had to work on myself, but what could I do? There was nothing left to do anymore, except bury my head in my own grief.

    The school was almost empty now, as most of the students had left already. I pulled my headphones off my ears, and savoured the silence. 

    Then slowly, the silence was broken as the sound of a whimper drifted through the halls. I paused briefly and strode carefully towards the sound. I could feel my heartbeat increase as I moved towards the door.

    I pushed the door open as quietly as I could, and there she was. It was Ms. Ellen, the new teacher. She seemed small, broken and vulnerable at the same time.

    Her head rested on the table as she sobbed uncontrollably. Yet, even with her bent form, her beauty couldn't be hidden. Her short curly hair had been cut to give her the younger woman kind of vibe she emanated.

    I couldn't take my eyes off her, her face was perfectly rounded like that of a beauty queen. Her eyes glimmered, although now reddened by unending weeping. Her makeup had been brought to ruins, by her tears.

    Her entire form rocked tirelessly in deep anguish. I could guess that it had been a long time since she had been like this. The whole school was empty now, and I didn't know what to do about her. I could just walk off like I hadn't seen a thing or the other way around.

    I breathed in deeply, and let myself into her office without a formal entrance, and sat on a seat waiting for her to look up, but she didn't. To be frank, she was so much engrossed in her pains that she hadn't noticed me come in.

    I cleared my throat trying to gain her attention. She barely glanced up at me before bowing her head once more. I wanted to comfort her, and let her know that it was going to be fine. But how could I, when I hadn't even dealt with my own grief?

    In a moment of reckless abandon, I walked over to her side, and let my hand pat her back gently.

    "Are you alright Ma'am?" I quizzed, and tried to hold her, but she fell into my arms, and held unto me so tightly that I feared she was going to squeeze life out of me.

    I wrapped my hands around her gently. I knew this was a rather wrong position to be found in with your teacher, but I didn't want to let go, and neither did she.

    It seemed like a broken piece of me, had found a broken part of her, and they had somewhat managed to merge to create something unexplainable.

    I could feel the hairs on my skin rise in ecstacy. I could almost tell that something was happening to me. The chemistry just seemed so incomprehensible to explain with a jumble of words and letters.

    Then just as it had started, it ended abruptly as Ms. Ellen quickly recovered herself and pulled away. Her face was reddened in embarrassment.

    "I'm really sorry. I got overwhelmed." She apologized.

    I smiled briefly. I didn't mind. I had felt something I had never felt. "I never complained." I whispered.

    Her eyes were spitting embers by the time she looked in my direction. I could feel her eyes on me, as I looked away in trepidation, awaiting my fate.

    "What did you say?" She muttered with rage at the edge of her voice.

    "I should leave." I announced and raced towards the door with her eyes drilling holes through my backside.

    I stepped into the open air, and my thoughts ran wild. Something had happened to me in that office. Who was Ms. Ellen, and what had she done to me? I quizzed as I hurried home.

    I could barely think of anything else that day. I brought out a board and began to paint a picture of her. From her eyes, to her nose, and her mouth, they were all perfect. She was an accurate depiction of perfection.

    As I laid down on my bed that night, all I could do was ruminate on the events of that day. I turned from side to side in an attempt to sleep off, but there I was sprawled out with nothing on my mind, but the new teacher.

    I barely saw Ms. Ellen throughout that week again, yet thoughts of that brief moment we had shared lingered. All I could think of was how our next meeting was going to be. I was expectant. Although, I had a feeling it was going to be awkward. It wasn't just a feeling though, it was a fact.

    I earnestly looked forward to our next meeting, but it never came, or at least not as I had expected.

    However, two weeks after our first encounter, Ms. Ellen appeared at my parents doorstep with a jar of cookies, and a wide smile, introducing herself as our next door neighbour. And then I knew the world was playing tricks on me.