ELLEN
I fiddled with the brooch on my neck with an infinite number of questions on my mind. Moving into the same apartment with the same boy I had tried to evade for several weeks hadn't been part of the plan.
I took off my blouse, and stood beside the window. My skin was aching to be touched, my whole body needed to feel the burning fire of a man's finger caressing it, and igniting feelings and desire that weren't meant to be quenched.
I stripped myself to my bare skin, and strolled over to the bathroom with nothing on, but the cold gnawing at my skin. I sunk myself in the bathtub, in an attempt to wash off the dirt of the day.
I heard the door open, but I was unperturbed. I knew who it was without being told, it was Zach. He was the only person that had the key to the apartment with an exception to me.
I could perceive the stench of alcohol from where I was seated in the bathtub. He had managed to find his way to the room, and instead of going over to the bed, he walked over to the bathroom.
He gazed at me for a few moments, and then he began to strip himself of his clothes. I could see the protrusion in his shorts, and guessed where this was going to end.
"Out..." He ordered, and I stepped out of the bathtub with my whole body freezing.
I had been married to Zach long enough to know that a slight delay could earn you a well deserved beating. In order to survive, all I had to do was remain quiet, and be obedient.
He pushed me towards the bed, and immediately I knew what he wanted me to do. I climbed the bed in terror; I was going to be left in anguish once again.
I spread my legs, and turned my face away in disgust as he mounted me. I could barely breathe; the stench of alcohol was choking me to death.
"Spread 'em wider, or do you need a proper beating to remind you of what's to be done?" He warned, and groaned loudly with each thrust.
I threw my head away in a struggle for breath. Slowly, tears began to run down my face. I was in agony, but there I laid, obeying each instruction he spat out.
He busied himself with taking and taking, until all that was left now was just me, numb and lifeless, waiting for the delayed spurt.
* * * * *
DEVAN
My thoughts raced in all directions as I stood at the window side in anticipation. She had been there a few moments ago, but not only had she been, she had been stark naked.
I had been working on her portrait earlier on, when the lights in her apartment had turned on. I hadn't been interested when she had walked into her room.
But then, she had started undressing, and then my interest had fueled. She had been staring into my eyes like she could see me, although I knew she couldn't. I had managed to turn off the lights, in order not to give my presence away.
She was beautiful, and ravishing at the same time. Her bare bosom were pressed against the window, calling out to me, until I could feel the heat from where I stood.
My insides were beginning to do the unthinkable. I could feel the hairs on my skin rise, just as they had on the first day I had met her.
Her whole form seemed to call out to me. Her being screamed my name, all at the same time. I watched her shut the blinds of the window swiftly, and she was gone again.
'What had I done to myself?' I quizzed. I could almost feel my heart flutter in excitement. Something had happened to me. I couldn't tell if it was love, or I had developed a sickness.
It wasn't just right all the same. An eighteen years old senior wasn't supposed to fall in love with his teacher, not this one especially. However, here I was, deeply in love with my teacher.
At dinner I could barely keep my calm, my eyes were shiny, and my unusual happiness was a source of a concern. I hadn't been this much happy since Matt had died.
"Are you alright?" Mum asked gazing at me with interest.
"Yea... I totally am." I replied, trying to hide the joy that brewed over the steamer.
"Devan has a girlfriend now." Robb joked, and the whole table burst out laughing.
I would have been upset at Robb's statement if I had been in a normal state of mind, but I wasn't. Of course, I wasn't normal at this point, and I was sure of it. I joined the laughter, and for a brief moment I could feel something, maybe love or hate, I couldn't tell.
I hurried up my meal, and strolled over to the balcony with my camera wound around my neck. A perfect picture of the moon wasn't going to hurt, or so I thought.
However, there she was, leaning on the bricks of the house with a cigarette stick at the edge of her mouth. She seemed so perfect that I knew at once, that the Moon had to wait.
I had been staring at her for a long while, but it wasn't still long enough. Her once naked form, had now been covered with a top and baggy trousers.
She stomped on the cigarette stub, and looked towards where I was seated. I could feel cold run down my spine, as our eyes met.
She frowned and began to walk over, but soon stopped halfway, and returned to her apartment. She cast a quick glance at me, before going into the building. Her eyes had been cold, so cold that I feared my fate if we were to ever meet again.
The truth be told, I had fallen head over heels in love with her, and the world was about to know.
ELLEN The noise was deafening. I plugged earmuffs into my ears in an attempt to lessen the noise, but it was almost useless. Zach's snores weren't the kind that could be stopped by earmuffs. I arose from the bed lazily, and placed a pillow on his face. I could end it now. I could put an end to all the endless beatings, and brutality. I let the pillow slip carelessly to the ground, and walked out of the room. I couldn't do that to Zach. He was my husband, and he had been crazily in love with me once. I pulled out my laptop, and began to go through my mails. I had attempted publishing a book, but I hadn't found the right publishing firm. I had faced several rejections from many of the top firms. As I glanced through my mails, I couldn't hope, because I knew it wasn't needful. There was no message of importance, they were all just rejection and rejection again. I couldn't be more bothered. The last firm had said the book contained "excessive controversies, a
DEVAN It was my mind playing tricks on me for the umpteenth time that day. I couldn't explain what I was feeling at that moment. Was it the lacy, black, revealing gown that she had put on that suddenly ignited the embers in my chest? Or her shiny black eyes that never seemed to quench? "Shut the door, Devan." Mum screamed jolting me back to reality. I had gone off already, my thoughts and fictitious images had flown beyond the thinkable. All eyes were on me now, as I shut the door in embarrassment, and searched for a place to my head in shame. I could feel Ms. Ellen's eyes follow me around the room until I found a secure spot to bury my head. "Forgive his insolence, he has a very imaginative mind. Did I tell you he was an avid artist? Well, he is, a gifted one at that." "You never told me this before, Julia." Ms. Ellen responded calling Mum by her first name. None of us dared call her that, but here was Ms. Ellen doing exactly what Mum detested s
DEVAN The next day came with the unexpected. It was announced that my school had organised a two days trip to a self improvement facility, meant for the final year High school students, in order to groom us for life after school. It was a yearly routine held by the school in honour of its soon exiting students. There were talks about it being extremely boring, and not being fun in any way. Frankly speaking, this hadn't been one of the events I had looked forward to, considering all the rumours I had heard about it. However, when the list of teachers who were to go along with us was being read out, and Ms. Ellen's name was read, I felt my heart jump in excitement. The trip was finally worth the try. I didn't have to necessarily silence the noise with my earphones. I could just sit quietly, and gaze at her, inhaling each air she took in, and slowly getting lost in her own world. I could barely keep my excitement to myself, as I hurried home. All I needed to do
DEVAN The next day was filled with tears, and so many emotions. The results of our previously written tests had been released, and as expected I had failed my test again. However, this time something wasn't just right, it seemed like I was the only one who had failed it, which wasn't normal. I was very much aware that I didn't take my studies as seriously as I should, but of course there were still a few people here and there that I was very much better than. I crumbled the paper in anguish, and dumped it in my bag. It was Ms. Ellen's subject, and there was only one reason why she would decide to fail me, and give the others a pass. I plugged my head set in, and hurried over to the bathroom. I wasn't sure why she had given me an F, for a test I very well knew I was supposed to pass, even without excessive study. I wasn't a very good student, but I could be described as an average one. I opened the door to the bathroom, and there they were. The very humans that
MELVIN DUPONT It was a big night for me, in a few days I was going to have to make another catch. I was going to have to bring another one home, just as the others. I walked through the streets with my hood covering the most of face away, but somehow sweet Raymond always seemed to recognise me, even in the dark. He had been nice to me since the first night we had met a few weeks back, and now we were close friends or so he imagined. I wasn't much of a chatterbox, but somehow I couldn't resist the urge to stop by Raymond's coffee store, for a cup of coffee every morning. His store was located at the centre of the town, and so everyone seemed to stop there for a cup of coffee, or his delicious burgers. He did make the best burgers I had ever tasted. Each time I visited his store, he knew I wasn't one to enjoy the noise or bustle, coming from the store, so he had kept a special spot for me in his little office. I was tall, so most of the time, I had to bend my
DEVAN School wasn't much fun without Ms. Ellen anymore. The trip had been put off, due to her unexplainable absence. She wasn't taking her calls, and the whole school seemed worried. There were rounds of news going around the town, about women who had gone missing, but when they were found, they all didn't have any memory of where they had been, or anything at all. I could only hope Ms. Ellen hadn't become a victim of such acts. As I strode past her house that evening, there was an irrepressible urge lodged in my throat, forcing me to go in. I withheld myself from giving in to emotions. The blood stains were still on her window, just as it had been the previous day. I was worried, but who could I share my burdens with? I walked past her house successfully, and walked into mine. It was filled with gloom and smoke. I coughed loudly as I walked into it. Robb was making out with his newest catch, I couldn't remember her name, but her broken nose wasn't one to f
ELLEN The sound of light footsteps wafted into my ears, and my eyes fluttered open. Zach was seated beside me, with a broad smile on his face. It seemed weird to me, Zach wasn't one to smile often. He described himself as a man with enough shades of masculinity, and thus he was always quick to lash out at any male who was too quick to smile, or too quick to laugh, dismissing them as less of a man. However, here he was grinning weirdly, with a green spinach on the sides of his chompers. I returned the smile, and sat up on the bed. "Hey Baby," he whispered, placing a kiss on my forehead. He had cologne on, and I could feel my senses being heightened. I wanted to linger under his arms, but a part of me knew better. This was the same man, who had tortured and molested me severally until I was short of breath. I wasn't sure if I could use those words though, I was married to him, so molested wasn't so much of a right choice of word. Blah! I laid my bac
DEVAN There was rarely any peace at home, since Mum was barely around. I hadn't seen her in a long while, but I had made it a duty to check up on her and Dad regularly through phonecalls. However, Robb had been quick to maximise their absence to the fullest. He had begun to throw parties almost every night, that the neighbours had began to complain. I couldn't sleep any longer, as they blasted music through speakers distorting any form of rest I had planned to have. I was exhausted with the kind of life Robb had chosen for himself; wild parties, girls, booze, drugs and the likes. Mum wouldn't have condoned this if she was around, but what could I say I was the younger. I had to keep on lying to Mum, that everything was great, and Robb was doing well. That was a big lie, because everything wasn't as great as it used to be, and Robb had finally taken leave of his senses. It had suddenly began to seem like I was the older, due to the fact that I was the only one s
ELLEN The ceiling fan whirred softly, barely producing enough air to reduce the heat that enveloped the room. I turned around, trying to find a better position that suited me. BJ's snores took a higher tempo, and I could tell that he was fast asleep now. I turned to my side on the bed, again, grunting and grumbling, as the heat refused to subside. Exhaustion took the better part of me, and I forced myself to a sitting position. What had I expected from a motel as this one. This was the cheapest one I had been able to find. In fact, this was the only place I had been able to afford. Suzy wasn't back to the room yet. She had stepped out to take a call about an hour ago, and hadn't returned since then. I wondered what was taking her time. I stretched out on the bed, and stood to my feet, yawning tiredly. I couldn't sleep, and no matter what I tried, the sleep refused to come. "Ellen?" Suzy called, pushing the door opened, as she stepped in. I stood fac
DEVAN Regrets, and making bad choices went hand in hand. The house hadn't been the same since Mum had realised what she had done. She had suddenly withdrawn into her shell, barely speaking out anymore. I could barely imagine the amount of disappointment she felt at that point, but I wasn't ready to ease her agony so quickly. School was were I buried myself in now, mostly to keep myself busy, and keep the crazy thoughts away. It wasn't going to be the same anymore. Mum sat by the window side, staring blankly through the window, with a steaming hot cup of coffee in her hand. Each time I looked at her, I knew I had to help her, but it was going to be difficult. She always had a hand in everything that went wrong at home. What was a little pain compared to the series of insults that I had been forced to go through in her hands. I held unto the sides of the wheelchair I was seated in, and slowly forced an exhale out. "I see you, Devan." She said, breaking t
ELLEN A loud, startling knock on the door, flung me off the bed in trepidation. I glanced quickly at my feet, and hissed lightly. My shoes were still on, I hadn't taken them off after getting into the room. I sat at the edge of the bed, and began to pull at them, when the knock came again. I took my shoes hastily, and stared blankly at the wall clock. The time read two A.M. However, the time hadn't served as enough deterrent to whoever was banging on my door. Maybe I shouldn't have rented a room at this motel, I should probably have gone for another one. A safer one, perhaps. A thousand and one thoughts ran through my head, as I held my shoe up in my left hand, just in case there was a need for it, and began to move towards the door. Was there a possibility that Devan and Robb had managed to find me so quickly? I couldn't tell, until I opened the damned door. "Who's at the door?" I quizzed, with shaky hands, and a shoe in it. The silence was enough
DEVAN I could almost swear that she had noticed that our gazes were fixed on her, yet, she busied herself about the room, as if she didn't care. My heart ached to ask her all the crazy questions that burned at my heart. Why was she doing this? I heard Dad say something loudly, but we were all too preoccupied to even care at the moment. Mum began humming a song, as she went about her duties. I didn't know what to feel at that moment, anger, or resentment that she had only noticed me, after Matt's death. "Ms Barker, could I please get something to eat? It was a long walk from school." Sam pleaded, as Mum beamed a wide smile at him. "Of course, Sammy Boy. You're always welcome here. What would like me to get you?" She quizzed, scratching at her elbows agitatedly. Sam's fingers flew to his head, for a brief moment, as if trying to come up with something, and then thy dropped to his side again weakly. "Anything is fine, ma'am. I wouldn't want to be so much o
ELLEN My eyes opened as Robb brought the car to a halt. I exhaled deeply, excited all over again. I was finally home, and although I didn't know where my home was yet though,but I was excited. "You look happy." Robb commented, as the engine died down. I nodded, and beamed a smile at him. "Well, I should be. I was away for too long." He chuckled lightly, and stared at me with a confusing gaze. "You think so? Things aren't the same as you left them." "Oh, come on, Robb. Everything's just fine." "No, it isn't!" He snapped, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. I was taken aback by his reaction. I lifted my hand gently, and rested it on his arm, as he sighed. "What's going on, Robb? Tell me." "Ellen..." He began swallowing deeply. "There's something I should have told you before, but I couldn't bring myself to do it." "What are you talking about, Robb? Spill it already." "It's not good, I promise ." I faked a smile, and patted his a
DEVAN Time they say, had a way of doing things to you, changing you, breaking you, or making you. In all of these processes, you were considered as a chief factor, and I was in this one, somehow. Mornings were usually the busiest, school work, and having to endure the taunting and long stares from everyone at school. Not like I cared much though, but driving through the school halls always had a way of reminding me of a life I had once lived, in fear and in the shadows. That life was due for a change. Maybe, it was time I did something really meaningful with my life. I didn't know what it was then, but I was getting there. It was only going to take a short while now. I tapped my hands gently against the wheelchair, as I drove through the halls receiving the usual whispers, and hushed talks from the bunch of students around the hallway. Exhaustion got the better of me, as I shook my head slightly in pity. "You don't look so good, Devan." A voice said behind m
ELLEN Cups of coffee sat on the table between us, and the rising sun behind us. I was clearly exhausted, and how much I ached to free myself from Cullen's piercing eyes. He was quiet, and a little distant than I had known him to be. With eyes fixed on me, watching every move, and every gesture that I made. I didn't know what to do, or think. I mean, after all the time I had spent rehearsing, and coming up with words to say to him, when I finally got the chance to, yet here I was, as mute and silent as a lamb. "What's in your mind?" He quizzed, staring intently into my face. I shook my head slightly, regaining myself. "Nothing," I said hurriedly. "I mean, you're the one who's been withdrawn. You weren't like this the last time I saw you. What's happened to you?" He chuckled softly, and sipped at his coffee. "I'm the same person, Ellen. You just didn't know this part of me." I nodded in pretense. And of course, I didn't understand a word he had uttered.
DEVAN Somehow, all of this still seemed pretty new to me. I had my memory back, and honestly, I had never felt as alive, as I did right now. I rode my wheelchair around the house in impatience, I was alone at home. Robb hadn't returned since he left, and now Mum also was taking too much time at the hospital. It had been a long while since I had been at the house, it seemed different from the last time. Probably because I had my legs then? Sad. A car honk blared loudly, and I drove to the window hurriedly. And just as I expected, it was Mum helping Dad out of the car. Matt's death had tightened the cords that held us as a family. Maybe that was what we had ended? A little it of something macabre? I shook my head hastily to clear it of the thoughts that filled it. Mum was at the door now with Dad. I didn't know what to do, I just sat there waiting for the door to be pushed open. In a moment, Mum stepped into the house, and Dad began turning his head around hu
ELLEN I clearly didn't look forward to the break of day. I knew what Suzy was going to do, but still, I wasn't ready to succumb to her demand. It had been a long night, and as far as I could remember, I had barely blinked an eye. Suzy had barely slept also, as I had felt her toss from side to side on the bed next to me. She wanted to get her life back, and I wanted mine also. And there was no possible way I was going to sacrifice living the very life I had fantasized about living, just because she needed my help. That wasn't fair to me. That morning, I had gone about my regular business just like the previous night, and from what I could tell, Suzy wasn't interested in me, just as I wasn't also. I mean, we were both so different, but yet, there was this kind of connection that I felt like we both shared unknowingly. I was bent over a bag, as I arranged a few stuff I had left into it. Big Joe hadn't even been kind enough to let me come back to the house to