Kabanata 4

Grey and I went home on Sunday. Dahil sa sobrang buntot ko sa kanya, sumasabay ako sa tuwing umuuwi siya sa amin. Luckily, hinahayaan niya lang ako.

Maybe he got used to me being an annoying, clingy, and pushy friend. A little progress, huh.

“You look happy, hija,” my mom noticed. “Are you taking care of yourself?”

“Yes, Mom. Where's dad?”

“Emergency meeting,” she simply said. “How's Grey, by the way?” Ikinunot ko ang noo ko sa tanong ni Mommy.

“He's doing good. Bakit po?”

“Oh. It's because I heard from your Tita Sam that Grey's not really doing well in class. His dad is pretty mad. You know how obsessed they are in pushing him to graduate with latin honors.”

That's true. Tita Sam and Tito Geoff wants him to strive really well in class because Grey will be taking over their company once he graduate.

I think that's unfair, though. Why would they give Grey the highest position with highest responsibility after graduation? He should at least assume the middle position to have a full grasp of the job.

“Mom, you know it's bad to talk about other people's business.”

“What? You asked, I simply answered. Isa pa, sa lahat nang tsismis ko paniguradong ito ang pinakagusto mo.” 

Mom and Dad knows my little Grey obsession. Well, everybody knows. 

After having an afternoon snack, nagpaalam na ako kay Mommy. Dumiretso agad ako sa bahay nina Grey dahil sabay ulit kami na uuwi. He told me we'd leave at 4pm. Nasaan na ba siya?

“Grey? Tao po?” Dire-diretso ang pasok ko sa loob dahil hindi naman naka-lock ang gate nila.

“Tita Sam?” I called because no one's answering. Itinulak ko ang pintuan nila at dahan dahan akong pumasok, kabisadong kabisado ang mga pasikot sikot sa bahay nila.

“Kapag ganito pa din ang grades mo sa last semester, pauuwiin na kita rito sa bahay! You're slacking off! Ano ba ang mga inaatupag mo?” I heard Tito Geoff's commanding and angry voice. 

Napa-atras ako at nagmamadaling lumabas ng bahay nila. I waited outside his car, hoping that his parents would stop nagging Grey.

Should I tell him I heard them talking or not? Baka magalit na naman 'yon kapag nalaman na nakikialam na naman ako.

I heard footsteps approaching, so I stand up really straight. Nang makita na si Grey iyon, I sighed in relief. Mabuti naman tapos na. Mahaba-habang sermon din yon, ah.

Hindi ako gumawa nang kahit anong ingay noong nasa biyahe na kami. Takot ako na baka mapagbuntungan ako nang inis niya. Kahit hindi niya sabihin, alam ko ang pakiramdam nang pinapagalitan ng parents. 

We're standing outside our unit when I decided I needed to say something.

“You did great, Grey.” Of all the things that I could utter to comfort him, I only managed to say those four simple words. Bago pa siya makapag-react ay tumakbo na agad ako papasok.

I know it's not really comforting but I really do hope he'd feel better. It's not his fault, it's just that his parents have higher expectations. But, he did great. I know he did great.

The next days were pretty hectic. We're busy finding a good company for our on-the-job training. Dahil ito na ang huling sem before graduation, sa performance sa OJT at research paper namin naka-base ang pagpasa.

On my free time, pinupuntahan ko si Grey at sabay kaming nagme-meryenda. Ngayon lang naiba dahil uwian na namin, samantalang may klase pa sina Grey.

I went to their room para magpaalam. I know Brent would laugh at me for acting like this, pero bahala na. Brent's always like that, anyway. Tsaka ano naman kung magpaalam ako na uuwi na ako? Di ba?

It seems like nagf-feeling jowa ako, pero nagpapaalam ako para hindi na ako hanapin ni Grey. Sumasabay kasi ako minsan pauwi.

Sumilip ako sa room nila pero walang Grey doon o kahit Brent. Magulo ang classroom nila at may kanya-kanyang pinag-uusapan ang mga estudyante.

Break nila?

“What are you doing, here? Si Grey ba?” Steffi suddenly appear, one hand holding her waist.

Pinigilan ko ang matawa. She looks like a cheap b*tch in a noontime drama.

I ignored Steffi and then roamed my eyes around their room. I have no time to waste so I acted like I didn't hear her.

“Alam mo ang bastos mo kausap! Akala mo naman kung sino kang maganda, para ka lang namang aso na sunod nang sunod kay Grey.” Lumapit ang ilang kaklase niya nang marinig si Steffi.

“Bakit? Magka-usap ba tayo?”

Lalong nainis si Steffi sa sagot ko kaya naman mas lumapit siya at nilakasan pa ang boses noong nagsalita ulit.

“Kaya ka hindi magustuhan ni Grey, eh. Ang sama kasi nang ugali mo. Kung alam mo lang ang mga sinasabi ni Grey tungkol sayo, naku!” I raised my eyebrow at her. Sinasabi ni Grey? Hindi nga nagsasalita 'yon masyado.

“Eto ba yung sunod nang sunod lagi kay Grey? Akala ko jowa?” I heard one of her classmates say.

“Hindi yan, jowa. Makapal lang ang mukha na sumama kay Grey. Pinagpipilitan ang sarili.” Sagot din nang isa pa na sa tingin ko ay kaibigan ni Steffi, dahil alam niya na hindi ko boyfriend si Grey.

I heard hurtful words around the room. Hindi ko na inisa-isang tignan kung sino sila dahil nakatuon lang ang mata ko sa babae sa harap ko. Steffi is smirking right at my face, proud and satisfied that her friends talks sh*t about me.

I can't believe this is happening! This is like one of those cliché scenes in a movie film.

Kung kanina ay malakas ang loob ko na barahin si Steffi, ngayon naman ay halos hindi na ako makatigin sa kanya. The words that I heard affected me. It's true, though. Everything that they said is true, kaya naman mas masakit.

I heard a lot of bad things before about how I deal with my feelings, pero kahit narinig ko na halos paulit-ulit kung anong tingin nila sa akin, hindi pa rin ako nasasanay. Their words cut through like a knife.

Ano ba ang masama kung ganito ako mag-express nang pagkagusto sa isang tao? Bakit ba sila apektado? I never judged anyone, and yet, people around me keeps on judging me.

Is it really so bad to chase someone you like? Should I just sit and wait until someone likes me back? Until Grey likes me back?

And what if I chase him? Nasasaktan ba sila dahil naghahabol ako kay Grey? Hindi naman, ah?

The girls in front of me were laughing like I'm some kind of a comic book. They were teasing me and judging me like we've known each other for years.

“Easy to get masyado,” Steffi added. I wanted to go away but my feet won't take me. I stood there and wish that their prof would come so they'd all go inside.

I'm so close to crying nang may marahas na humila sa braso ko, inilayo ako sa pintuan at itinago sa likod niya. I smelled Grey's scent kaya naman napaangat agad ang tingin ko.

Holding my hand, he stood in front of me firmly. Hindi ko nga lang makita ang mukha niya. Si Brent ay nasa gilid niya at masama na din ang itsura.

Hanggang saan ang narinig nila? Bakit ngayon lang sila?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit tumigil sa bulungan yung mga alagad ni Steffi. I tried peeking at her pero humarang si Brent kaya hindi ko nakita siya nakita.

“What is this all about?” Grey's thunderous voice echoed.

“Elle's looking for you,” maliit na boses na sagot ni Steffi.

“And?” Brent probed, hinihintay ang paliwanag sa inasal ng kaibigan niya.

“Can you not, Brent?” maarteng sagot ni Steffi, ang mga kaibigan ay nawala na sa tabi.

“And what?” Grey impatiently asked. Tinapik ni Brent sa balikat si Grey. Hindi ko maintindihan kung may secret code ba sila pero iniwan namin nina Grey yung dalawa. Hinigit niya ako hanggang sa makalayo na kami sa room nila.

Marahas na binitiwan ni Grey ang kamay ko nang huminto kami malapit sa Exit nang Campus.

“Thank you sa inyo ni Brent.”

“Thank you?” Grey scoffed. Parang pinipigilan ang mairita sa akin pero hindi na kinaya.

“For how long will you do these stupid things, Elle? It's so f*cking tiring! Don't you have your own life? People are talking because you are so d*mn obsessed with me! Get a f*cking life!”

Natulala ako sa biglaang pagsabog ni Grey. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mas masakit, 'yung nangyari kanina o eto ngayon.

Yumuko ako, takot na baka may nakakarinig kay Grey. Ilang beses na yata ako napahiya ngayong araw. Gusto ko nalang umuwi.

“What more do I need to do so you'd stop liking me? I barely even talk to you-”

Natigil lang sa pangaral si Grey nung marinig niya na ang hikbi ko. I sobbed, hindi na napigilan ang emosyon.

Masakit.

F*ck. I know I can hold my tears until I go home but these stupid eyes won't cooperate!

I heard Grey's heavy sigh. He must be so disappointed right now.

A weak girl is crying because she got dumped. Funny story.

“Uuwi na muna ako,” tanging naisagot ko sa napapaos na boses. Hindi na ako naghintay na sumagot si Grey.

The world is not that cruel to me today because after making my way to the exit, a taxi appeared outside. Nagmamadali akong sumakay, hindi na nilingon pa kung saan ko iniwan si Grey.