I work as a matchmaker.
Ever since I was a child, I can see strings, strings that connect us to other people. Strings can take a variety of colors and can change at any time, depending on your feelings towards other people.
When you like a person and they become your friends, the string that connects you both is white. When you start to feel dislike, irritated, annoyed, betrayed, jealous, envy, lust, hurt or other negative emotions, the color starts to change. From white, it eventually converts its color to black. In other words, strings change their colors because what you feel for others changes.
You might be asking, red strings are for the one true love, right?
The right term for it is 'fated partner' or 'predestined partner' but can never be called 'one true love'. People's hearts can change you know. Red can turn into black. Just like how a couple who loves each other, but after a few years, can loathe each other.
But the red string of fate, the one that connects in your pinky, is not the only red string we have. There can be 3 or more connected in your heart to other people. I call them 'fleeting love'. A person you fell in love but never ended up with.
This ability has been passed on to my family for generations. Most of my female ancestors don't have a fated partner, so they end up growing old alone. But all of them have someone they love. And they always die. Always. I remember my Aunt, who possesses the same ability as me said.
" You'd rather wish you didn't fall in love with someone, Alice. It will only kill you... To watch that person die in front of you... Believe me I know. "
I believe her. I fell in love. And he died. That's why I swear I will never love someone again. An ability we have. A great responsibility we bear. And a curse to live with. I never asked for this.
My name is Alice Jade Martinez. I'm 18. And this is my story.
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I work as a consigliere.
I assist my stepbrother who works with the authorities to put criminals behind bars. I lend him a hand as he handle cases that range from murders, robberies, bombings, serial killings, and others. They call me great for having these talents. But in fact, I don't care.
I don't care about murders. I don't care if criminals were apprehended or not. I don't care if my stepfather used my talent for his own benefit. Nor I care for my stepbrother taking credits for my work. None of these matters to me.
All beings stick with each other for survival. As much as I hate it, if I want power, I must conform to the ways of this foolish, idiotic, world.
I can't understand why women put artificial substance called makeup on their face just to look appealing. Nor I understand men drowning themselves to smoke, alcohol, drugs, and a bunch of crappy online games just to escape reality.
Really, this world is full of fools who'll do anything to get other people's attention, to escape reality, to possess everything, and to give out their hearts to those who will surely break it.
No matter how much they sacrifice to obtain what they want, in the end, we all die not bringing a single penny.
It's as stupid as chasing the wind.
But to not feel emotions. Not knowing what it's like to 'want something' nor possessing any desire to 'do something'. To not feel anything, either joy, pain, sadness, anger, fear, greed, and lust. To think that I lack the basic emotions that define and separate us from other species. Maybe I'm not 'human' after all.
I just need something to fill the deep, black hole in my heart. The bottomless pit inside me is so hollow it's sucking me dry.
For years, nothing can satisfy the emptiness I feel. Does such a thing exist? If so, how do I find it? Will it make me feel a little bit 'human' like the others? If I continue doing this type of work, will it lead me to that 'something' someday?
My name is Keith Sky Sinclair. I'm 17. And this is my story.
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Where does a story truly begin?
Is it when you meet your fateful encounter? Or when the love you sought for years, finally became mutual? Or that moment when the past broke your heart and the future came along to mend it? Or when you're special someone asks your hand in marriage?
Or maybe it can start at...
When you realize, the person you love the most already belongs to someone else? Or when the love you thought will last forever, is just an illusion you put up because of your expectations. Or when that pretentious miracle of someone, coming along your way, promising to fix your heart with his love, only to tear it apart, leaving you all alone, and much broken than before. Or worse, the person that took your heart and became your everything, doesn't belong in this world anymore. And no matter what you do, and where you go, his presence is everywhere. Torturing you with his memories, his traces that felt so real, and the state of loss he left.
You may think these circumstances are the climax or the end of your life. But it's just the beginning. Of a new chapter, of a new journey. With each episode controlled by an unknown invisible force called 'fate'.
And this story is one of those circumstances led by fate. Two people, connected by a bond called 'red string of fate' where one end lost its destination and was bent out of shape again and again. Another end became all twisted and stuck, unable to entangle. But no matter how much this 'bond' is stretched, tested, contorted, and pulled beyond limits, it never breaks. Even in death.
This story is about a matchmaker who can't fall in love and a detective who can't feel anything.
I hope you enjoy this story.
ALICE I flipped through the pages. The pencil in my hand snapped as my grip on it tighten. I did not bother getting myself another one. I can still draw using what's left of this five inch pencil. This flimsy little thing... is already enough. Just like hislingering image in my brain...is enough to draw his sketch. I sat, sprawled across the lush green bermuda grass.For three hours I worked on his portrait. And at last, his face took the exact replica of how he looks like.My fingers lingered at his bright playful eyes. As if touching could bring me the warmth he used to gave me. I held my sketch book over the sun, smiling approvingly at my masterpiece. Even in drawings, he's still beautiful.The look in his eyes radiates warmth and full of life. Just the right match for his cheery dimpled smile.I held
ALICE It was unusually hot. My skin perspired in sweat. I want to look up above, see if there's any clouds that could cover the scorching sun. But I can't. Not right now. Strangers other than the groundkeeper is here. I don't like strangers. Especially if they're surrounded with black patched strings. Either they hate their life and had too much pity for themselves or they're congested by uncontainable rage they can't see anyone as pleasant or likeable. The way they throw doubtful stares at me like the rest of the people who came by tell me it's the latter. I couldn't care any less. Except for the groundkeeper who took care of me, all these strangers will come and go and move on with their lives. Forgetting any detail they thought up about me. At the corner of the tomb made of limestone, the white cat emerge and approach the basket warily.
ALICE Different colors of strings came out from the red book, swirling, tangling, forming a loop around me. As if it wants to tie me around its knotted threads. “What is this?” Black white and red burst out like fireworks. I’ve never seen strings this much without people. Thrice when I was in crowds, I saw many. But most are black. None are white. Some have red. In their pinky, in their hearts. Black strings ruled over hearts. Humans are full of hatred. They can lie straight in their faces, in their smiles, but they can never lie through the string. I don’t know why strings reveal themselves to me. I don’t like people in the first place. Seeing their feelings laid bare makes me hate them more. I waited till the outburst died down
ALICE "I don't want revenge. It's a waste of time." I said and resume my place in my kneeling spot. I'm thinking of leaving but I have nowhere to go. Except here. He is my home. This is where I belong to. This is where I'll die. [And you think kneeling there is not a waste of time?] "He is my world. So my time solely belongs to him." A distortion in the air and he sprouts at my side. Glaring at me. [So you'll throw your life? Just like that?] I opened the book and scan through the pages. At first, it was all blank. My drawings completely wiped out. I started seeing red. Rage surge inside me like blazing fire. But it stops... then recedes to oblivion when Kenneth's face appeared. I pursed my lips in relief. I ran my finger at his image. Black inky hair, electric blue eyes. My drawings doesn't have the lush of colors he always
ALICE My sight started to shatter. Images bombarded me in full blast. Strings shot up in every direction. Like numerous colorful birds on their glorious flight. I can hear excited whispers. Of a woman, floating, hovering, embracing me with welcome arms.I can’t tell what she’s saying. Only a low distorted words of ‘thank you my Mistress’ is what my ears picked up. I’m still kneeling in the soft pile of grass. A bit mushy from the rain, pebbles scraping at my knees. I hear soft enchants. A foreign language I’ve never heard before. But some part of my brain oddly pin the words as familiar. Like a distant lullaby someone sang to me. Long long time ago. I find it strange. Not upsetting. Just strange. The more I listened, the more my strength drained my muscles lifeless. I’ve heard these enchants before. Someone whisper them to my ears in my sleep. Soothing, palliative, a set of w
ALICE This is the first time I actually look around the graveyard. The sight of raised tombs made with marble in hues of white, black and greys filled my eyes with fathomless pain. This sight is a reminder. Of what I lost. Because of my foolishness, I lost him. And he is my everything. Now, I have nothing left. The emptiness gnawing in my chest is bottling up inside I’m scared it might choke the life out of me one day. The fear of not knowing anything, or whether I can go on with life without him is so suffocating I don’t know if crying or screaming or laughing through the madness will solve anything at all. Sometimes I just wish everything will end. For me. End this pain. End this loneliness. I wanna be with him so bad, I did all that I could to take away my life. But it’s useless. I’m still here. I still wake up in the morning. Left alone and existing without direction.
ALICEThe shock hasn’t left me. I’m still frozen on the spot. I should move. I should take care of the boy in my arms. I should muster strength to my limbs. I should remember to breath.“Kid?” The groundkeeper’s voice rang in still atmosphere. Chordinis and Hymen dispersed in mid air. The image of the two disappeared with the wind. They left me. Because they can’t let others see them. I know. The pocket watch necklace is heavy against my skin. The sketchbook made its weight known against the bag hanging in my shoulder.I thought I lost the bag. This one is what I brought four months ago. At his burial. I can’t bring his guitar, nor his clothes. I left it rotting in dust in our apartment. I can’t push myself to go back. Not when he died in the very room I treated as my paradise.“Woah who’s that boy?” The groundkeeper scurried to attend
ALICEOn that night, I saw my Aunt. Her bright crimson hair lits like a dancing fire in the sunlight. Her hazel narrowed eyes glinting hints of unapparent malice and ruthlessness.“Alice,” she called me. In a shaky voice, I respond. “Yes, Auntie?”She stretch her hand at me, telling me to come closer. So I did. She flicks her wrist and a chain of strings, black, red, and white of mixed colors burst out from her fingers. One connects to me. Others connect to the eleven people in the room. Majority shot up in every direction, moving outside from the white circle shape of the wall.“Can you see it?” she asked through her
“Ugh, have you been listening to me? Do I have to explain myself further?” The white cat said irritably.“Basically, the locket itself will be used as the measurement for ‘intimacy’ the two fated people has. Now look, you see that man there? He has a perfect score of 30 points. That’s the highest intimacy point. But look at the man at the counter, he has 0. Now, what you need to do is add intimacy points to the man on the counter to balance the amount of intimacy both parties have. When level 30 is achieved on both sides, the confession and happy ever after will take place.”Strangely, I’ve been hearing this nonsense from a talking cat for a while now. I should be running. Yet, right now, I’m strangely calm. I understood what the cat is trying to say. I swallowed the lump in my throat and begin to make plans on how I can match the two.“How will I increase points for the man
I turn around hoping to see someone, but what greets me is not a human. A cat. A pure white cat whose fur is as white as the snow. It’s sparkling blue eyes seems to shine as its mouth curl.“I’m glad my efforts are not wasted.” The mouth open and close in accordance to the words. As if the cat is fluent in human language. I open my mouth to speak. But surprise got me a better grip on my throat.The cat…. It’s the cat Kenneth and I saved. It’s the cat who stayed with me along those months I spent kneeling in Kenneth’s grave. And it’s talking right in front of me. As if there’s nothing strange about it.My mind is probably too dumbstruck to give off any strong reaction.
Every corner became white and glowing. I could not mistake the thicken mist in his eyes. The color of his eyes that lost its luster. When he is on the verge of forgetting everything related to me.This is for the best. I told myself. I will not regret this. I cannot have anyone. So I will let him go. Set him free. Fate did not let me keep Kenneth by my side. Hence, I won’t force him to be with me either.The boy’s eyes rolled back and he slumped in my shoulders. Everything else became quiet after that. I silenced the squeals, noise and any other words said to me by the man and his companions. This will be the last time I get to hold him in my arms.For now….Just for today… Let me feel another person’s warmth. I won&rsqu
“For goddamn sake, can you shut her up?!” Adeline howled. I crawled into the corner. Covering my face with my own two frail palms. My whimpers are out of my control. I can’t speak clearly. I can’t make any sense, any process, any peace with reality.I felt a hand grab me by the collar. Another voice shouted orders. The van doors slammed open. Men are shouting orders for Adeline to stand down.“You are under arrest! Move! Move!” Suddenly, a hand clutch me tightly. Enveloping me to its tight embrace. The boy beside me is wrapped in these strong arms as well. I glance upwards. It was the man who silenced me earlier.He has a radio earpiece in his right ear. Talking to someone. With his two strong arms, he is carrying me and
ALICEI will be okay. I will be okay. I will be -. A surge of fear breaks over me. The boy beside me squirm uncomfortably in his binding. I blink against the blaring pain of light Adeline is flashing in my way. A laser beam that seems to accumulate heat in the surface of my skin. She pull on my hair, take out a needle, and struck my neck. I wince at the bite of thin needle seeping my blood. My fingers curl in agony. Her red blooded lips is like a spun of blood tangled inside a red string.“Don’t worry. This is for blood testing purposes.” She said.“Why are you doing this?” I manage to croak despite the excruciating slabs of bruises ripping off my limbs.“Why?” she roll her eyes in mock marvelment. “For years we’ve spent with each other you’re still asking that question Alice? Shouldn’t you realize by now?” She grab the thin material of my tattered sh
ALICEI don't know what happened. I have no idea how it started. The seconds feel like hours. To keep my consciousness intact I counted.I close my eyes to not see their faces. I'm scared. I'm petrified. Every small bone, every skin, every part of my face aches. I'm having trouble breathing through my nose.Small intake of air is what I can wheeze in my tightly shut mouth. A dull ache clawing at my throat.I hear Adeline's voice floating in the air. Cracking the atmosphere in slit. In my arm, something pricks, sharp as needle. Then I felt my blood circulating in my forearm drawn to the prick.I stifled a scream. My arm numbing, chest bobbing, every sharp intake of air hurts my ribs."Careful now, we don't want to lose that precious blood of hers." Adeline said. Her voice sounds like a cat. Purring sweetly.A delicious treat
ALICEI was unconscious. I don't want to sleep. I barely sleep at night. It's always the same. The dreams. The screams. The yelling. The pain.Kenneth was able to push them away. With just a brush of his fingers on my hair, I'm drifting off to a nightmareless sleep. His minty scent, as it fills my nose relaxes my shoulders. His body temperature that is too warm - opposite to my constant cold body - will always calm the maelstrom of insanity knotting in my head.When I'm beside him, I was normal. When he sits with me, the hallucinations, the deceptive figures, the bone chilling tortures - will all recede at the back of my mind.For the first time in my life, I was happy. He managed to bring out the smile I thought my lips don't know how to pull off.When he's gone, the hallucination attacks became fiercer, the pain deadlier, the screams starker. It left me
ALICE906,678,907 seconds have passed. Groundkeeper is still not here. The boy has his head lean in my lap. He’s sound asleep. His eyes close and curve and relaxed. Mine is darting, unsettled and consistently can’t resist the urge to stare at his face.I studied his frame. The sharp angle of his nose, the visible scar at his lower jaw, his long curve eye lashes. His thick eyebrows. He’s like a sculpture full of colors. A statue vibrating with light.He's innately beautiful.Unconsciously, my thumb found its way to his plush lips. Chapped, a bit pale, definitely gorgeous. I gulped. Why does his startling electric blue eyes, silver soft hair, small delicate frame, reminds me of Kenneth?They wear the same expression when they stare at me. An emotion written in a face I can’t untangle what it meant. Everytime I see it, a blossoming flower of discomfort overwh
ALICEWe ate in silence. Thrice, I caught the boy giving sideway glances at me. Curiosity dance in his eyes. I took a mouthful bite of the chicken. Hunger is overtaking my soul. I stuff two rice cups in my mouth. Swallowed it all in one gulp.He’s still studying me.I hasten my teeth to chew. Taking advantage of his almost entranced state to eat his share. Directly opposite us, the groundkeeper chuckled. His snow caked hair is moistening. I fetch the towel he hang in my chair and wipe it for him.“My, thank you.” Groundkeeper flash me his warm crooked smile. I urged my cheeks to stretch. Return his smile and the warmness it brings in my heart.Failed.I tried again.Failed.The boy must have detected my effort. He takes hold of my hand. Forcedly slip hi