ALICE
My sight started to shatter. Images bombarded me in full blast. Strings shot up in every direction. Like numerous colorful birds on their glorious flight. I can hear excited whispers. Of a woman, floating, hovering, embracing me with welcome arms. I can’t tell what she’s saying. Only a low distorted words of ‘thank you my Mistress’ is what my ears picked up. I’m still kneeling in the soft pile of grass. A bit mushy from the rain, pebbles scraping at my knees.
I hear soft enchants. A foreign language I’ve never heard before. But some part of my brain oddly pin the words as familiar. Like a distant lullaby someone sang to me. Long long time ago.
I find it strange. Not upsetting. Just strange. The more I listened, the more my strength drained my muscles lifeless.
I’ve heard these enchants before. Someone whisper them to my ears in my sleep. Soothing, palliative, a set of words meant to take my fears away. They were said solely for me. A calming effect blossoms in my chest. Spreading warmth to my limbs. Giving life to my blood. Raising my dead heart to life. Putting meaning to my brain to function.
It’s been so long long too long ago since I’ve basked in this bliss. Estranged strings wrapped me in their midst. A woman giggled at my ears.
“Ask anything and it shall be done.” is what she said, her voice lulling as if she knows how empty I felt deep deep down.
“The boy… save him,” I croaked. White strings skyrocketed in the air, pulling me in its movement. Forcing my knees to move in its frozen state. I followed. To wherever they want me to go.
I’m aware of someone’s eyes watching me from the side. Bright crimson eyes observing my actions. Red glittering robes seized my eyesight as sunlight reflected in my eyes. I winced. Forcing my eyelids shut. My brain is too muddled to think. To process what’s going on. I kept heaving in space, anxiousness grips my skin.
The screams of the boy are drawing near. Five, seven, ten feet away I can hear the harsh struck of brute against feeble bones. My eyes snap open in alarm. With my own eyes, I watch a man in his middle thirties beat the life out of a skinny not more than fourteen years old boy. His muffled call for help buried under the heavy strike of the man’s leg.
Rage scorched my veins. Every muscle every tendon in my body reacts to the low level abuse unfolding in front of me. My fingers tense in recognition. My own screams from the past fraught my ears. I was once imprisoned in that cruel maltreatment. My Aunt will oppress me to the point of degradement. Sometimes pain was so much to bear I shut myself inside a four walled room I put up to protect myself.
I can’t allow anyone to undergo the same abuse as I did. I can’t allow an innocent child suffer under the frustration of twisted adults. Small fragile little humans are meant to be cared for, not used as play toy to gratify sadistic stimulations.
“Mistress, what do you want me to do?” I felt a presence brushing my right arm. A fracture in the air forms a opalescent figure of a long haired woman beside me.
“Let the man feel the pain he inflicts on the boy ten times worse.” I watch the woman figure shift in her place. Stretch her hand and the strings swiftly bind the man and drive him on his knees.
I approached the boy, barely holding on with life. Lying feebly in the cold ground and coughing blood. Hesitantly, I brush his hair and touch his wrist. His tattered oversized shirt caked with soot. The carved wound made by a knife on his neck…
I gulped the horror, the recognition, the sharp icy edge slicing my throat.
Double Vs. In opposite up and down direction. V∧. That’s the symbol of confederation where my Aunt is one of the founders. The second in command to their ‘Boss’.
In public, they are big successful entrepreneurs who made it big in their businesses and professions. Little the public knows these people are responsible for the fluctuation of the economic growth of certain countries.
They control global markets, international relations between countries, even manipulate top secret national securities to widen their influence in world expansion.
The small country where I was from… the beautiful place where I was born, is now nothing but a barren field of wreckage because of their activities. Nuclear weapons, war declarations between countries, those tactics are not the wise steps to completely destroy a country.
You must take it slow. Not garner too much attention that could expose the Mastermind. Build plans on solid ground than mountain crevices, that would stand erect in times of unforeseen circumstances. Create undetectable crimes even global associations of police task force can’t detect. World scale mass murder which the public rules out as natural disasters. Those are the crimes they excel.
In some cases more than one, plague and virus break out is their resort.
The Confederation call it their way of thinning population out. The weather is not constant. The animals are driven to instinction. Natural habitats were destroyed by man made disasters. Global warming peaks high temperature on all continents. The season is like a slow cooker and the earth is the ingredients. Causing everything in the surface to boil 1 degree at a time.
Growing crops on fields are hard to come by. Flowers and butterflies can only be seen in rural areas. Natural vegetation no longer suffice GMO synthethize plants replaced the ingredients on our plate.
Nothing can redo the damage in the planet. The weather, the plants, the animals, all natural elements were at war because of man made abuse. And the Confederation concludes...if they can’t fix the problem on Earth they better eliminate the responsible for these destructions - which is us, humans.
The boy flutter his eyes open. Electric blue eyes rage deeper into his soul. Bottomless peak reflects his eyelashes. My breath hitches. It’s almost like I’m watching the sea. I slowly wrap my hands on his back, careful, mindful, of the injuries in his small frame.
“Are you alright?” I asked quietly. His eyes reflect my eyes. Like I’m watching my soul disingreted to pieces in front of me.
“Who...are...you?” He croaked between chokes.
I watch his skin bone arms palette in purple and green bruises. I watch his small face lines with cuts and blood. Anger flared through me like bubbling lava inside volcanoes. Barely holding it in, I turn to the man who’s wrap in strings on his feet.
“Woman,” I whispered, calling out to the woman who refered me as Mistress.
“Chordinis, my Mistress.” she introduced. Her voice pulsate from the filter of leaves swirling in the wind.
“Heal the boy.” I meant that sentence as a question but it came out as an order. My voice turn stone and firm.
“At your service,”
In an instant, white strings looped around the face, arms and legs of the boy. Receding to nothingness when the work is done. Except for the tattered shirt, he came out clean and fresh.
“What about the other man Mistress? What specific actions would you want me to do to him?”
I did not answer. I watch the boy sleeps into oblivion in my lap. Entering the world of dreams where anything is possible but carries no hope in making the reality any better than before.
“I could kill him if you want Mistress,”
I turn to meet her apparitions in dead air. I see no face, only figure blending in the background.
“Killing is mercy.” I said and brushed the boy’s messy raven hair.
“Drive that man insane. Make his life miserable he’ll constantly smack himself each time he saw a little boy nearby.”
“Understood.”
I slid the boy’s sleeping figure in my shoulder as I left the man screaming his brains out in the ground.
ALICE This is the first time I actually look around the graveyard. The sight of raised tombs made with marble in hues of white, black and greys filled my eyes with fathomless pain. This sight is a reminder. Of what I lost. Because of my foolishness, I lost him. And he is my everything. Now, I have nothing left. The emptiness gnawing in my chest is bottling up inside I’m scared it might choke the life out of me one day. The fear of not knowing anything, or whether I can go on with life without him is so suffocating I don’t know if crying or screaming or laughing through the madness will solve anything at all. Sometimes I just wish everything will end. For me. End this pain. End this loneliness. I wanna be with him so bad, I did all that I could to take away my life. But it’s useless. I’m still here. I still wake up in the morning. Left alone and existing without direction.
ALICEThe shock hasn’t left me. I’m still frozen on the spot. I should move. I should take care of the boy in my arms. I should muster strength to my limbs. I should remember to breath.“Kid?” The groundkeeper’s voice rang in still atmosphere. Chordinis and Hymen dispersed in mid air. The image of the two disappeared with the wind. They left me. Because they can’t let others see them. I know. The pocket watch necklace is heavy against my skin. The sketchbook made its weight known against the bag hanging in my shoulder.I thought I lost the bag. This one is what I brought four months ago. At his burial. I can’t bring his guitar, nor his clothes. I left it rotting in dust in our apartment. I can’t push myself to go back. Not when he died in the very room I treated as my paradise.“Woah who’s that boy?” The groundkeeper scurried to attend
ALICEOn that night, I saw my Aunt. Her bright crimson hair lits like a dancing fire in the sunlight. Her hazel narrowed eyes glinting hints of unapparent malice and ruthlessness.“Alice,” she called me. In a shaky voice, I respond. “Yes, Auntie?”She stretch her hand at me, telling me to come closer. So I did. She flicks her wrist and a chain of strings, black, red, and white of mixed colors burst out from her fingers. One connects to me. Others connect to the eleven people in the room. Majority shot up in every direction, moving outside from the white circle shape of the wall.“Can you see it?” she asked through her
ALICEAfter the groundkeeper rushed to my side last night, I wake up the next morning to two electric blue eyes, messy raven hair and face void of expression I can’t put a finger what.“You’re awake,” the boy told me. I blinked twice. Stared straight to his empty dull eyes that don’t have a trace of spark.“You’re okay?” I croaked. He didn’t bat an eye when he made a sound under his throat of saying yes. I want to reach out to him and brush his hair. I want to take my pencil and carved his impeccable beauty in my paper.For many reasons other than one, he looks like Kenneth. If I blink my eyes and gaze to his small face, I can picture out the young Kenneth in his middle school years. I forced my eyes shut.No matter how desperate I was. If I saw Kenneth’s face in every little boy’s face…how crazy have I beco
ALICEI never dared to let a single word escape from my lips again. The still atmosphere didn’t crack in between. Instead, it got colder. The breath we exhaled froze in chilled mist. Something smells crisp and ozone-like tang outside. I smiled to myself. The incense of snow. Soft lacy flakes are drifting straight down. I take a shaky breath and tried to calm the raging pain swelling inside my chest. It was also in a day like this he found me battered to death. The snow has embrace me in its chilling hands and I’m willing to offer my life. Just to have a taste of death my years with my Aunt deprived me to feel.But that desire was quenched by his stretching hand. By his tender smile. By his warm touch I helplessly long to feel in my skin again. My Aunt defines my existence as thin as an air. As worthless as mud filled paper. As stinking as rotten garbage. As meaningless as disgusting maggots.
ALICEWe ate in silence. Thrice, I caught the boy giving sideway glances at me. Curiosity dance in his eyes. I took a mouthful bite of the chicken. Hunger is overtaking my soul. I stuff two rice cups in my mouth. Swallowed it all in one gulp.He’s still studying me.I hasten my teeth to chew. Taking advantage of his almost entranced state to eat his share. Directly opposite us, the groundkeeper chuckled. His snow caked hair is moistening. I fetch the towel he hang in my chair and wipe it for him.“My, thank you.” Groundkeeper flash me his warm crooked smile. I urged my cheeks to stretch. Return his smile and the warmness it brings in my heart.Failed.I tried again.Failed.The boy must have detected my effort. He takes hold of my hand. Forcedly slip hi
ALICE906,678,907 seconds have passed. Groundkeeper is still not here. The boy has his head lean in my lap. He’s sound asleep. His eyes close and curve and relaxed. Mine is darting, unsettled and consistently can’t resist the urge to stare at his face.I studied his frame. The sharp angle of his nose, the visible scar at his lower jaw, his long curve eye lashes. His thick eyebrows. He’s like a sculpture full of colors. A statue vibrating with light.He's innately beautiful.Unconsciously, my thumb found its way to his plush lips. Chapped, a bit pale, definitely gorgeous. I gulped. Why does his startling electric blue eyes, silver soft hair, small delicate frame, reminds me of Kenneth?They wear the same expression when they stare at me. An emotion written in a face I can’t untangle what it meant. Everytime I see it, a blossoming flower of discomfort overwh
ALICEI was unconscious. I don't want to sleep. I barely sleep at night. It's always the same. The dreams. The screams. The yelling. The pain.Kenneth was able to push them away. With just a brush of his fingers on my hair, I'm drifting off to a nightmareless sleep. His minty scent, as it fills my nose relaxes my shoulders. His body temperature that is too warm - opposite to my constant cold body - will always calm the maelstrom of insanity knotting in my head.When I'm beside him, I was normal. When he sits with me, the hallucinations, the deceptive figures, the bone chilling tortures - will all recede at the back of my mind.For the first time in my life, I was happy. He managed to bring out the smile I thought my lips don't know how to pull off.When he's gone, the hallucination attacks became fiercer, the pain deadlier, the screams starker. It left me
“Ugh, have you been listening to me? Do I have to explain myself further?” The white cat said irritably.“Basically, the locket itself will be used as the measurement for ‘intimacy’ the two fated people has. Now look, you see that man there? He has a perfect score of 30 points. That’s the highest intimacy point. But look at the man at the counter, he has 0. Now, what you need to do is add intimacy points to the man on the counter to balance the amount of intimacy both parties have. When level 30 is achieved on both sides, the confession and happy ever after will take place.”Strangely, I’ve been hearing this nonsense from a talking cat for a while now. I should be running. Yet, right now, I’m strangely calm. I understood what the cat is trying to say. I swallowed the lump in my throat and begin to make plans on how I can match the two.“How will I increase points for the man
I turn around hoping to see someone, but what greets me is not a human. A cat. A pure white cat whose fur is as white as the snow. It’s sparkling blue eyes seems to shine as its mouth curl.“I’m glad my efforts are not wasted.” The mouth open and close in accordance to the words. As if the cat is fluent in human language. I open my mouth to speak. But surprise got me a better grip on my throat.The cat…. It’s the cat Kenneth and I saved. It’s the cat who stayed with me along those months I spent kneeling in Kenneth’s grave. And it’s talking right in front of me. As if there’s nothing strange about it.My mind is probably too dumbstruck to give off any strong reaction.
Every corner became white and glowing. I could not mistake the thicken mist in his eyes. The color of his eyes that lost its luster. When he is on the verge of forgetting everything related to me.This is for the best. I told myself. I will not regret this. I cannot have anyone. So I will let him go. Set him free. Fate did not let me keep Kenneth by my side. Hence, I won’t force him to be with me either.The boy’s eyes rolled back and he slumped in my shoulders. Everything else became quiet after that. I silenced the squeals, noise and any other words said to me by the man and his companions. This will be the last time I get to hold him in my arms.For now….Just for today… Let me feel another person’s warmth. I won&rsqu
“For goddamn sake, can you shut her up?!” Adeline howled. I crawled into the corner. Covering my face with my own two frail palms. My whimpers are out of my control. I can’t speak clearly. I can’t make any sense, any process, any peace with reality.I felt a hand grab me by the collar. Another voice shouted orders. The van doors slammed open. Men are shouting orders for Adeline to stand down.“You are under arrest! Move! Move!” Suddenly, a hand clutch me tightly. Enveloping me to its tight embrace. The boy beside me is wrapped in these strong arms as well. I glance upwards. It was the man who silenced me earlier.He has a radio earpiece in his right ear. Talking to someone. With his two strong arms, he is carrying me and
ALICEI will be okay. I will be okay. I will be -. A surge of fear breaks over me. The boy beside me squirm uncomfortably in his binding. I blink against the blaring pain of light Adeline is flashing in my way. A laser beam that seems to accumulate heat in the surface of my skin. She pull on my hair, take out a needle, and struck my neck. I wince at the bite of thin needle seeping my blood. My fingers curl in agony. Her red blooded lips is like a spun of blood tangled inside a red string.“Don’t worry. This is for blood testing purposes.” She said.“Why are you doing this?” I manage to croak despite the excruciating slabs of bruises ripping off my limbs.“Why?” she roll her eyes in mock marvelment. “For years we’ve spent with each other you’re still asking that question Alice? Shouldn’t you realize by now?” She grab the thin material of my tattered sh
ALICEI don't know what happened. I have no idea how it started. The seconds feel like hours. To keep my consciousness intact I counted.I close my eyes to not see their faces. I'm scared. I'm petrified. Every small bone, every skin, every part of my face aches. I'm having trouble breathing through my nose.Small intake of air is what I can wheeze in my tightly shut mouth. A dull ache clawing at my throat.I hear Adeline's voice floating in the air. Cracking the atmosphere in slit. In my arm, something pricks, sharp as needle. Then I felt my blood circulating in my forearm drawn to the prick.I stifled a scream. My arm numbing, chest bobbing, every sharp intake of air hurts my ribs."Careful now, we don't want to lose that precious blood of hers." Adeline said. Her voice sounds like a cat. Purring sweetly.A delicious treat
ALICEI was unconscious. I don't want to sleep. I barely sleep at night. It's always the same. The dreams. The screams. The yelling. The pain.Kenneth was able to push them away. With just a brush of his fingers on my hair, I'm drifting off to a nightmareless sleep. His minty scent, as it fills my nose relaxes my shoulders. His body temperature that is too warm - opposite to my constant cold body - will always calm the maelstrom of insanity knotting in my head.When I'm beside him, I was normal. When he sits with me, the hallucinations, the deceptive figures, the bone chilling tortures - will all recede at the back of my mind.For the first time in my life, I was happy. He managed to bring out the smile I thought my lips don't know how to pull off.When he's gone, the hallucination attacks became fiercer, the pain deadlier, the screams starker. It left me
ALICE906,678,907 seconds have passed. Groundkeeper is still not here. The boy has his head lean in my lap. He’s sound asleep. His eyes close and curve and relaxed. Mine is darting, unsettled and consistently can’t resist the urge to stare at his face.I studied his frame. The sharp angle of his nose, the visible scar at his lower jaw, his long curve eye lashes. His thick eyebrows. He’s like a sculpture full of colors. A statue vibrating with light.He's innately beautiful.Unconsciously, my thumb found its way to his plush lips. Chapped, a bit pale, definitely gorgeous. I gulped. Why does his startling electric blue eyes, silver soft hair, small delicate frame, reminds me of Kenneth?They wear the same expression when they stare at me. An emotion written in a face I can’t untangle what it meant. Everytime I see it, a blossoming flower of discomfort overwh
ALICEWe ate in silence. Thrice, I caught the boy giving sideway glances at me. Curiosity dance in his eyes. I took a mouthful bite of the chicken. Hunger is overtaking my soul. I stuff two rice cups in my mouth. Swallowed it all in one gulp.He’s still studying me.I hasten my teeth to chew. Taking advantage of his almost entranced state to eat his share. Directly opposite us, the groundkeeper chuckled. His snow caked hair is moistening. I fetch the towel he hang in my chair and wipe it for him.“My, thank you.” Groundkeeper flash me his warm crooked smile. I urged my cheeks to stretch. Return his smile and the warmness it brings in my heart.Failed.I tried again.Failed.The boy must have detected my effort. He takes hold of my hand. Forcedly slip hi