The Fourfold Desires

She was exhausted and she felt sick but there was nothing she could do about it. The voices in her head screamed in unison and told her to find a way out of the misery she was in. She took a moment to gather her thoughts but conflicting ideas corrupted her mind. She tried to fight but she didn’t know if it’s worth fighting for! She was hopeless!    

It has been an hour since she sat in front of the mirror and eyed the scissor nearby. The mean words from her late father echoed inside her head, and every second that passed she began to believe him. Blair cursed at the woman in the mirror and narrowed her eyes to check her appearance. She tied her long hair into a messy bun to check every pore on her face. 

Everything went wrong in her life! She just lost her job because of a woman’s insecurity! She could probably let it slide but it didn’t happen once! Her longest tenure in a company would only be a week or less than a month. How would she keep on living without a stable income? She would starve to death! 

She had no surviving family aside from the mother who abandoned her when she was only four years old, and her excuse for a father was abusive to her until the day he died. Until his last breath, he cursed at her mother and wished they didn’t look the same. As if it was her fault for inheriting her mother’s goddess-like feature!

Maybe he was right all this time!

Blair closed her eyes as her hands slowly inched their way towards the scissor and when her fingers touched the coldness of the blade, she grabbed it! Then, she untied her hair and without thinking thoroughly, she began cutting her hair. Little by little, long strands of jet black hair fell onto the floor. However, when she stared at her image in the mirror, she cringed at her appearance.

She bit her lower lip as she strode towards the door, and went outside. She recalled that her father always has an extra shaver in his bathroom, and she’s on her way to retrieve it! She decided to go hairless and damn the consequences! 

The door to his father’s room creaked when she pushed it slowly. The old man has been dead for several months, but it was her first time to visit his room, and it’s creepy. It was as if his spirit remained lingering in his bedroom, and she had to sprint towards the bathroom.

The sound of her heartbeat was almost deafening as she left and returned to her room, with the shaver on her right hand. She took several deep breaths before she resumed sitting in front of the mirror, and shaved her hair!

Ten minutes later, she was torn between crying and laughing at her appearance. She’s bald and she looked like a monk! She looked horrible without a single hair on her head, and she regretted her impulsive decision to shave it. She stared at the mirror without blinking her eyes, and she almost jumped when someone knocked on her door. 

It must be Tracy, her tenant. She regretted her decision when she couldn’t even show her bald head to anyone, especially to her tenant. Tracy has been renting the extra bedroom even when her father was still alive, and they have been friends since then. She searched for a hoodie in her wardrobe and wore it on top of her clothes before she went to open the door.

“Hey,” she greeted the woman who brought a bag of goodies from the bakeshop where she worked. “Is that for me?” She inquired but before Tracy could respond, she took the bag from her, and let the woman in.

“Why are you wearing a hoodie? Don’t you feel hot?” She had been wondering from the moment Blair opened the door because it was thirty-eight degrees outside! She looked around, and when her eyes got a glimpse of black hair on the floor, her eyes widen and aimed for the hoodie on Blair’s head. “Shit! What have you done?” She exclaimed upon seeing her bald head for the first time.

Blair was embarrassed when her bald head was exposed, but she couldn’t do anything about it anymore. It was done, and the only thing she could do was to wait for her hair to grow again. “I don’t want to be Blair anymore, Tracy.” She said.

When she first saw her landlord’s daughter, she envied Blair’s one of a kind beauty and wished she would look as great as her. However, Blair has a bad fortune and her father always blamed it for her looks and said that it was cursed. “What do you mean, Blair? Why would you believe your father? He didn’t do anything but tormented you!” 

Blair sat down on the edge of her bed, and Tracy did the same. “What if he’s right? Ever since, I was unlucky!” She exclaimed as she recalled how much she endured while growing up.

“But your hair!” Tracy’s hand moved to touch Blair’s head, but the woman was fast enough to block her hand.

“They will grow again,” she smiled while massaging the shiny scalp and both women burst into laughter. “So, how do you like my new look?” She asked.

Tracy cringed while staring at the hairless head of her friend. “What’s your plan?” She inquired.

“Hmmm, I’m not sure, but maybe I should shop for a man’s clothes. Or maybe I should get a tattoo or a piercing to match my appearance, what do you think?” She imagined other ways inside her head on how to look manly.

Tracy pouted her lips while she squinted her eyes at Blair. Although she didn’t agree to her plans at all, she wouldn’t stop her, and the least she could do was to support her as a friend. “Oh well, your figure may be slim, but it’s the trend nowadays. It’s painful to have a tattoo, and you know, it’s permanent. Won’t you regret it later?” She asked while eyeing Blair’s blemished-free skin.

“In my current situation, regret is out of the question Tracy. I’m desperate!” She lied.

“I understand. Should I get inked as well?” Tracy suggested, and when Blair smiled, they both wrinkled their noses and grinned.