4. Another Round (4)

"I see, so you don't know him either?"

Bella looked guilty. “I will put all of mine into finding out about that silver werewolf! Seeing that he has an unusual fur color, I think I will quickly find him for you, Your Majesty!”

I chuckled. "No need, Bels. Now I want to sleep alone."

"That... Please don't take those people's whispers to heart, Your Majesty."

I smiled at Bella. But my smile doesn't seem to relieve her.

I looked up at the familiar ceiling of my room. People assume I've been out of my room for four months, but that's wrong. Until four days ago, I was still staring at it before being interrogated in the dungeon, then sentenced to death.

I'm tired. I don't want to fight this time.

Days passed. Jermaine hasn't visited me at all since that day. The maids and my lady-in-waiting comforted me by saying that Jermaine was too busy.

“The Kingdom is currently undergoing military aggression with the Northern Kingdom over neutral territory. That is why His Majesty has not had the chance to visit you yet."

"Right. He was busy visiting troops outside the Capital. I'm sure he would want to be by your side, Your Majesty.”

Listening to them trying to comfort me with facts I know better than any is adorable.

"Hmm, I know." I took a sip of the mango juice served to me, staring into the void.

I am so exhausted. But I can't end my life myself. I know that because I tried it in a previous life. I have to follow the set plot again.

A week has passed.

Jermaine visited me.

.

.

.

The werewolf kingdom that once controlled one large archipelago, separated from human kingdoms by the sea border, is now divided into two regions, the Southern Olf Kingdom and the Northern Kingdom. The territory of the two is separated by a large wall that spans a wide area.

The two kingdoms have long been enemies despite coming from the same roots.

In the Southern Olf Kingdom, we no longer believe in fate or the rules passed down by the Moon Goddess. We regard these primitive teachings as a form of restraint by the ancient's made-believe, especially in choosing a life partner.

Unlike the Southern Olf, the Northern Kingdom still adheres to the teachings of the Moon Goddess. So we consider them old-fashioned. Not only that but the Northern Kingdom was also closed to outsiders, especially humans.

Compared to the Northern Kingdom, the civilization in Southern Olf was more developed. And the leader of that kingdom is the one standing outside.

"Come in, Jermaine."

"I've been swamped taking care of the kingdom's interests this past week."

“…I know.”

That's not all that makes you occupied, though, Jermaine. And today, you want to talk about it.

I leaned against the headboard while Jermaine dragged a chair beside my bed after waiting for me to get up. He must have thought I would welcome him on the sofa, but nope. I'm too hurt to do that.

We, Southern Olf people, don't believe in the phenomenon of the 'fated mate' blessed by the Moon Goddess. We see this phenomenon as a form of restraint and a disgusting phenomenon. Why? Because the whole concept of a fated mate is just lust.

We are creatures that are more than that, namely those who have logic and ego that can be used to defend ourselves against lust. Thus, almost none of the residents of the Southern Olf experienced the bonding by instinct phenomenon. On average, we all choose a life partner according to our logic and heart.

Unfortunately, a primitive phenomenon that barely existed in the Southern Olf happened to me.

When I came of age at eighteen, I felt the heat for the first time. It happened when I met Jermaine Jocheved, who was a wolf prince at the time.

His pheromones make me so intoxicated that it's hard for me to think straight. Not only that, a mark appeared on my neck. The shape resembles a child's scribble, but I'm sure it's a sign of the bonding given by the Moon Goddess.

I've read about it in our history books. The sign can only be seen by me and my mate. There's a burning sensation in my neck whenever I'm near Jermaine.

I, who was still young, was afraid that Jermaine and the people of the kingdom would turn against me for having a primitive symbol. But fortunately, people didn't notice it. And Jermaine, who also had a mark on his neck, didn't feel the heat. He didn't even know he had that mark.

It's like how it's written in a few books that my mate is oblivious to his bond with me.

At first, I was reluctant to participate in the Crown Princess competition, but I became desperate to be chosen as one to be by Jermaine's side.

The position of Crown Princess will only be given to a strong and intelligent woman who successfully passes the exam. Of the many noble and commoner ladies, I managed to occupy the top three positions. This is all for the sake of being able to match Jermaine.

I came out as one of the two best candidates, and Jermaine chose me as his wife. Those were moving times. All my efforts to be with him paid off.

I thought, even if I didn't realize my bonding mark, I would still love Jermaine anyhow, like how Jermaine chose me.

Since then, I think I started to obsess over Jermaine. I love him. I'm his wife. So he's mine. That's why, in all the lives I've lived, I've always tried to get Jermaine's love back, even though I know that he always kills me.

Not getting Jermaine's attention, I harassed Luelle. I thought that if Luelle weren't around, then Jermaine would return to me. So I tried to kill her many times but was thwarted by Jermaine, who finally killed me. Even when I didn't try to kill Luelle, Jermaine still killed me using the kingdom's law.

Jermaine opened his mouth after moments of silence.

"How is your pregnancy?" he asked.

His eyes met mine, and I caught another question from that look.

"It's good. You can ask your real question, Jermaine.”

His brow twitched. He definitely didn't expect me to notice this so soon.

He took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly as he parted his lips without hesitation.

"Who is the father of your child?"

-“This f#cker! It's yours!”- Shan roared, and I had no other choice but to put her to sleep.

With Shan's personality, she will take over my consciousness to the surface and then attack Jermaine.

No, actually, she already did it in my past life. Like in the fourth or fifth life. That's why I know how to put her to sleep fast. 

And like in previous lives, I never lied.

"It's yours. You are the father of the child I am carrying, Jermaine.”

“Then how come your pregnancy doesn't align with your time of disappearance?”

I stare at him. Feeling my gaze, Jermaine let out a lazy sigh.

“Haaa, forget it. So you're sure you're carrying my child?"

Hearing this question so many times makes me sick, as he won't believe my answer.

“Yeah.”

To be honest, I also never got a satisfactory answer regarding the mystery of why my unborn baby's age didn't match my timeline of disappearing. But I'm sure this is Jermaine's child because I've never slept with another man. Shan guarantees it.

If only I could give birth to my child, I could get medical help to prove my statement. But for ten lifetimes, I always died while still pregnant.

‘What a bad mother.’

“This whole situation is putting me in a difficult seat, queen. Government officials began to question the condition of your pregnancy. Do you know what they said?"

"I know."

"What?" he was shocked.

“They must be saying that I carry the dirty blood of the rogues that stained me. Also, I don't deserve my position right now."

Jermaine frowned. "... So you've heard?"

Because that's what I've heard many times, and each time, my response wasn't as casual as this time. Until two previous lives I've been through, I tried desperately to tear the mouths of the officials and people who spread the nonsense.

Now… I don't care much more.

"How about you? Do you also think I'm pregnant with another man's child?”

Jermaine was silent. No fake denial to comfort his wife. What a cold man.

I glanced at his neck, the sign of our bonding still faintly visible.

According to books, the sign of bonding will only disappear if partners bite each other's necks and insert their pheromones through the bite. But in almost six years of marriage, Jermaine never kissed my neck, and so did I. Because he didn't like me to mess with his neck.

"Queen, imagining you sleeping with another man... fuuh, really enrages me."

-“Woy dude, what about you and Luelle, huh?! We've only been gone for four months, but you've already impregnated another woman! Her best friend, at that! And she is already two months pregnant as well!”

'Shan, calmed down. Or I'll put you to sleep again.'

Shan whimpering. I had already guessed that I couldn't put her to sleep much longer. It's also my fault for training her hard.

I took a deep breath. In my previous lives, my response was the same as Shan's.

Jermaine opened his mouth again. And every time he did, he only gave wounds.