“Frankly speaking, you came back in too fine a state for a rogue’s kidnapping victim.”
A dry laugh escaped from my mouth. “Fine, huh?”
Do I look fine in his eyes?
Is this why those officials slandered me that I had changed sides? They consider it impossible for a person, especially a woman, to return in one piece after being kidnapped by a group of rogues.
What was running wild through their heads right now must be the thought that I had been brainwashed or threatened by my captors to destroy the government from within.
Given that the kingdom’s security situation is currently in flux, my return must be pretty suspicious.
I understand how they could think that. If I were in their position, I would also suspect myself.
“On top of that, the officials are questioning your competencies as their wolf queen. They alluded to how weak you are despite your high status because those rogues managed to kidnap you for four months.”
“I see.”
They want a strong wolf queen, and I understand that. That’s why there’s a Crown Princess contest to find the best partner for Jermaine. Even after being elected, I have continually honed my skills and influence to the extent that they have already seen the results during my leadership with Jermaine.
But because of this one thing, their trust in me wavered.
“They say the kidnapping would never have happened if it were the former queen wolf. They even mentioned that a similar incident had almost happened to my mother. But she managed to fight off her captors.”
“I see. I respect mother-in-law more and more.”
Silence fell between us again.
In the past, I would have tried to refute all those words that hurt my pride, but this time, I knew it wouldn’t change anything.
I looked into his eyes, unwavering. No tears, no emotions.
Jermaine blinked slowly. Maybe he was starting to sense the strangeness of my muted reaction, so he cleared his throat.
He opened his mouth slowly. “…You must also have a lot of questions for me. So, ask.”
‘A question, huh?’
In my past lives, my questions were inseparable from; what’s going on between you and Luelle?
I always spit that question out while in rage, crying, or other hysterical actions, befitting the nickname of a crazy woman that stuck with me at that time. In contrast, Jermaine answered lightly, like he was conveying the time of the day.
A confession that he had impregnated Luelle while I was missing. And after his light confession, he always justifies his actions.
“That’s because you disappeared, and I always failed to find you. The kingdom was also in a crisis period because of the conflict with the Northern. Did you know that because you disappeared, the people’s morale weakened, the internal affairs of the court were neglected, and I was so… lonely?”
A flower bud grew in my heart when I heard he was lonely when I was not by his side.
“It was during that time Luelle reached out her hand to me. You should thank her for helping me.”
“…What?”
A flower bud that has not had time to bloom is torn into pieces.
I, in that lifetime, snort in disbelief. “Oh please, say it properly. She’s not only reaching out her hand at you, but her lower body as well!”
“QUEEN!”
“WHAT?!”
I took a deep breath while closing my eyes as I recalled what I had done in my past life. ‘Haaaa.’
Well, those are just old stories. I don’t need to repeat it now.
My question for now is...
“You and Luelle… what should I do for you two?”
“… What?” Jermaine’s blue eyes widened and shook. It resembles a big wave rolling in the blue ocean, crashing against the rocks.
I was about to repeat my question in case he didn’t catch it very clearly. But Jermaine got ahead of me.
“You, ha,” Jermaine sighed. He furrows his brows while keeping his astonished gaze on me.
Perhaps, sensing the seriousness of my question, he answered matter-of-factly and as if challenging me.
“I want you to appoint Luelle as my royal concubine formally.”
Thump. Thump.
I’ve been waiting for this to come out of his mouth. During my ten lifetimes, he’s asked precisely the same thing from me. To officially welcome Luelle as his royal concubine.
He looked at me carefully. Seeing that I still didn’t change my expression at all, Jermaine’s face hardened. “You can’t do that, can you?”
“No.”
“Ha, as expected.” He looked relieved for some strange reason.
He continued.
“I know you wouldn’t be willing to do that. But think, you played a part in causing all this. In the name of the sacred Royal Family, you should-”
“No, listen. I mean, I will do that.”
“You will… what?”
“I will do that for you.”
“You will? You?” He pressed his last word.
I nodded my head.
Jermaine is at a loss for words. He stared at me without batting an eye for a few seconds.
In the many lives I’ve lived, two things never changed. One, my love for Jermaine, and two, my decision against appointing Luelle as a royal concubine.
Whenever I time loop, I always prevent Luelle from becoming Jermaine’s royal concubine. It was like a life mission in itself for me. I mustered various means so that Luelle would never serve as a royal concubine. Of course, the end of my efforts was death.
But this is related to my pride and my baby’s birth right. I don’t want to be the first queen wolf whose husband has a concubine. It had never happened in the history of the Southern Olf Royal family before, even though there was no law against it.
In the Southern Olf, having a concubine was not taboo. This proves that we are no longer bound by destiny handed down by the Moon Goddess, who instilled the rule of one woman for one man only.
Studying the matter, the Alpha King then limited the number of concubines a man could have. That is as many as three women only.
Even though the Alpha King decided the rules then, he had never taken a concubine in his life. This mindset was passed on to the following Alpha King descendants, except now Jermaine intends to change it.
“What is it? Isn’t that what you want?” I looked at Jermaine, who was still stunned.
Naturally, Jermaine was shocked by my confession just now. I never let other women get close to him, including the maidservant. If any woman deliberately seeks his attention, I will threaten her gracefully.
He certainly didn’t expect the woman who had been infatuated with him and had always been greedy to monopolize him to be waving a white flag for another woman to have him.
“Are you protesting now?”
I shook my head while Jermaine rolled his eyes.
This is the time for me to let go of one of the two things I could never do before. This time, I’ll make Luelle to be Jermaine’s companion.
And maybe, there will be a time when I can also let go of my heavy love for Jermaine. At that time, could I live a quieter life be possible?
“Forget about concubine. I can even give her my position, Jermaine. Just say the words.”
“… What are you saying now?”
“Let’s get a divorce.”
“I’m going back to my parent’s house.”“Wait, what? Divorce? Return to your parent, who mistreated you like that?”“…Yeah.”Now, after all that looping, my parent’s poor treatment is nothing compared to what I’ll be going through for the next five months, Jermaine.“Do you understand what you’re talking about? Divorce of the royal family means you may never set foot in the Capital again, and your original status as the daughter of the Beta Duke will be revoked.”“I know.”He gasps. “Yet, you asked for a divorce?”“Mhm. Wouldn’t that benefit you too?” I blinked slowly, not taking my eyes off his heavenly-cold face.So far, I have always insisted on keeping my position as his ONLY wife and Queen. But now I realize that my stubbornness will only lead me to my and my unborn baby’s death in a cruel way
After all, in this life, Jermaine clung to me to stay by his side as his queen. He… needed me.“Tell me.”I gulped down, then opened my mouth. “No matter what people say about me, you must protect the child in my womb until he is born.”Yeah, I just need that.If indeed life this time will offer a difference, I must use this opportunity to meet my baby. That way, I will prove to people that the child born from my womb is flesh and blood of Jermaine, the successor of Alpha of Jocheved IX.I will silence the mouths of those who always accuse my child of being illegitimate.Perhaps at this moment, Jermaine was swayed by Luelle. But when my son is born, he won’t be able to ignore their resemblance as a father and son pair. He cannot turn away from his flesh and blood.Likewise, with those annoying officials who were obsessed with the pure wolf bloodline of the Royal Family.“What are you talking about? Of course, Sha. I will definitely do it for you. I will protect him, and only you can b
The day Sashal returned to the palace, Jermaine’s thought was in a jumble. There were so many things going on that required his attention that he failed to show the expression he should show when his wife, who had been missing for four months, made it back safely. There has been much talk of his demeanor that day. He tried to ignore the talk, but it sank into his conscience. After all, Sashal is his wife, the official consort of the Alpha King. He should have shown happiness when his wife returned. That’s how it should have been, but a mixed emotion overtook him at that moment. His main concern is Luelle, a sweet, fragile woman who is now pregnant with his child. With Sashal’s great pride, there was no way she wouldn’t hurt Luelle and the child in her womb. Even so, before things got even more out of control, he had to relay the news regarding Luelle to Sashal with his own mouth. It was the least he could do for his recently returned wife. After boiling over reasons that Sashal
Frau flinched for a second, then returned to his poker face.“Whoa, is that true?”“That must be true. His Majesty himself confirmed it.” The reaction of officials was bigger than expected.“I see. It seems like I have misjudged Lady Lenbergh.”“I already guessed it. A while ago I heard Lady Luelle suggest to just make peace with Northern. At that time, her proposal sounded ridiculous so I ignored it. But now I know what’s better. I will apologize to Lady Lenbergh for doubting her insight.” Gamma Marquise Blaine added.Frau glanced at Jermaine. His gaze contained a myriad of questions. ‘Is this alright, Your Majesty? If Queen Sashal finds out about this, won’t she be angry that you give her credit to Lady Lenbergh?’As if catching Frau’s telepathic question, Jermaine gave a wide smile and announced.“There is one more important announcement I want to share with you.”Everyone’s attention returned to Jermaine in unison.He presented a delightful face and spoke. “Queen Sashal will be ho
Luelle bit her nails as she refuted. “You’re wrong, El. Sashal would not do that to me. I didn’t steal her husband!’ -“Are you eating your conscience away? You stole her husband! Everyone knows that!” ‘I didn’t. We… we share him.’ -“Pft, listen to yourself. Don’t you want to laugh at your own joke? Because I am.”- ‘Shut your mouth, El.’ -“Listen, your position is dangerous. Not only are you in danger, so am I! So think carefully about your next step.” ‘El, you always scare me. What’s dangerous about my position? I am Sashal’s lady-in-waiting!’ -“Huk. You’re driving me nuts, Luelle. Even your lowly maid knows it and worries that woman will kick you out. But why are you the only one oblivious!?” ‘Shut up!’ Luelle closed her eyes even tighter. The wrinkles on her forehead deepened and layered upon finding the darkness she was seeking. It would be better if she could fall asleep, so she wouldn’t have to hear what her wolf said anymore. However, the more she closed her eyes, the
..In an instant, Sashal felt the earth crumble beneath her heels. She unconsciously dug her nails into her palm. Her knuckles turned white as if it would pop out anytime.Sashal could not muster the strength to face Jermaine with her current expression. So she slightly lowered her gaze. She tried to hide the roar on her face with a forced smile.'So in the end it's like this, hm? It dates faster.’Upon returning to her position, the first official event she would host as The Wolf Queen – the woman of the highest standing in the Southern Olf Kingdom- was appointing another woman to be her husband's concubine.Even the cheap comedy shows open at the public market couldn't be funnier than this. She almost fainted at the hilarious twist of fate."I understand. I will arrange it as soon as possible. Just leave it to me, Jermaine.”And once again, she was forced to do all of this for her survival. She wanted time
Sashal rolled her eyes. ‘What a joke. Now of all people, this kind of man dare to approached me? Is my disguise that good?’ There’s a hint of sarcasm mixed in with the ridiculous awe from what she thought. Sashal had heard from Bella before that, recently, there were a lot of ladies who kept a male courtesan by their side. The ladies will decorate their male courtesan's appearance with luxurious items or beautiful jewelry, then show them off on several occasions. It’s like having a peacock contest. This is a trend that is impossible for Sashal to follow. The male courtesan never caught her eye, not because she wanted to maintain her honor as the wolf queen. Objectively speaking, Jermaine had an awe-inspiring face with no comparison. The Arena host was shouting as a new round of matches would start soon. This time, she heard the name of her one-pick among many fighters who would compete in the ring. “MENITTO!” A loud cheers followed after the host shouted his name. Menitto is a r
‘How did this man know?’The question flashed through Sashal’s mind.It’s hard to tell about her pregnancy while wearing a puffy dress and an oversized robe wrapped around her body. Moreover, her belly is also yet to protrude much.Even the Arena staff who escorted her to the VIP booth did not mention anything about her pregnancy. Pregnant women are not allowed to enter this place, you see. So how did this man find her pregnancy?Sashal didn’t usually feel this intimidated. But that night, she felt a swirl of cold air in her chest, knocking to warn of danger.Her initial guess about the man as a male courtesan slowly crumbled.‘He knows my identity, somehow.’That was why the man’s questions, which she took as a mere rhetorical question, were actually directed at her, the wolf queen.Her cover had been blown by a strange man who deliberately approached her.And the unpleasant feeling that immediately spread across her chest upon realizing this made her tense up even more as she faced
“Ruri will come here?” Sashal sounded excited. “Yeah, she is. But I need to scold Menitto first for giving news about you to the other party.” “Come on, you know Menitto moved because of my orders. He did it because I wanted Ruri to also hear this good news on time.” Sashal pout. It melted Rohan's heart so much that he couldn't help but smile. “Alright, alright, you can have fun with your friends. But, are you sure you're okay?" “Yeah. Thanks to the herbal medicine I made, my body felt lighter after giving birth. And I recovered quite quickly." “You're still pale.” “But I'm fine, really. I know very well how unbearable the pain was after giving birth to Roschal, so I know that my current condition is the best.” Rohan frowned. "I still regret I couldn't keep you company during those hard times." “You don't have to. We just played our respective roles at that time.” Sashal kissed the back of Rohan's palm. “By the way, how long will Ruri visit?” “Ah, about that, I also want to di
The night felt agonizingly prolonged, with each passing minute stretching their apprehension. It was only when the first light of dawn graced the sky, followed by the long-awaited sound, that a sigh of relief finally escaped the lips of everyone outside the room. With the rising sun, Rohan passes through the big door with a bouquet and baby Roschal in his arms.He arranged the flowers in a large vase quite skillfully, like someone who was used to doing it. It was unimaginable coming from an Alpha. After that, he sat on a chair next to the bed."How are you feeling, my princess?" Rohan stretched out his hand to caress Sashal's head.“It never gets better than this, dear,” Sashal answered with a chuckle despite her pale face.Watching Sashal's expression, Rohan couldn't stop himself from kissing her pale face. Not only he but baby Roschal also doesn't want to lose to his father. He hugged and kissed the face of his mother, whom he had not seen for four days. He did it well enough that S
Not only do we have to fight the legendary creature for which we don't have the right answers, but we also have to fight against time. Everything seemed to be moving faster than usual, even though the Calamity had not yet been fully pushed to the point we agreed on. If it continues like this until the sun disappears behind the horizontal, then what we are trying to do will be meaningless.“We need more people on our side to make the Calamity come to that spot on its own accord, out of frustration.”Alpha Deen had the same thoughts as me. I nodded as I looked towards the Northern warriors. They glanced at each other. I could understand their hesitation about becoming the raw bait to lure the Calamity. Meanwhile, Rohan and the others on the other side didn't look like they were in good condition after fighting nonstop. It had been going on for over four hours, and time was not on our side.“I'll do it. But you know that with just one person, it won't attract his attention. So, you have
Out of surprise, the steps that stopped suddenly slowly found their rhythm again despite signs of hesitation by the warriors. However, it was not visible from Alpha Duke Gustaav and Kaesang as they made their steps so clear. Seeing the fearless temperament of the two men, Jermaine became even more agitated.“How dare all of you! How dare you challenge me here!” He created even more duplicates of his wolf, probably hoping the Alpha Dukes would stop in their tracks.When Alpha Duke Gustaav and Kaesang stopped in their tracks, he smirked. He glanced curtly at me, then bared his teeth.“You guys aren't going anywhere. I'll make sure you receive the same punishment as that traitor!”“Traitor? Who?" Alpha Duke Gustaav retorted in a sharp tone. “Ah, you're talking about yourself?”"What?"“Your Majesty, ah no, nephew, don't you dare get in our way to fix the mess you've made.” Alpha Duke Kaesang warned."What are you talking about?"“Stop your damn whining, Alpha King. If you can't control y
“Ugh,”As the ground began to swallow us, Rohan tried to lift my sinking body. He dug the ground around me with his claws while Ansel shouted.“It's me! Ansel! It's me!”He kept shouting those words out of his lungs several times as if that could stop what was happening.I couldn't grasp my mind as panic enveloped my whole body. I tried to only focus on getting the lower part of my body out of the ground while not burdening Rohan who managed to free himself from this terrible pull.“I'll get you out. Don't worry." Rohan kept calming me, who was starting to feel numb to everything around me, apart from the sound of my heartbeat, which filled my head.At that moment, like a miracle, the ground stopped rumbling all of a sudden. Like it never swallows us. 'Huh?'“Damn it! Finally!” Ansel cursed, but I could catch the tone of relief from his curse just now.Before long, I could understand why.Several people were standing on the surface of the land that had not collapsed, surrounding us. “
“Beta Duke Avimelech, what is this madness? I'm sure now that you helped that woman escape, stage it as she died tragically. And there is also that Alpha. Hah, so you're also a traitor.” Gamma Marquise Blaine glares at us each, spitting bars of slander.There's a hint of fear in his trembling eyes, yet he dares to bark at us. I'll have to give him a round of applause next time.“Whatever you say, sir. You can accuse me of being a traitor or whatever, only if you get out of here safely, though.”“Guards!” With his calling, all the guards gather shielding him and his companion. “Did you just threaten to kill us all, Beta Duke Avimelech?!”Rohan bursts out laughing. “Haha, haaa… It's not us, you moron. Have you forgotten where you are now? The Calamity can easily swallow all of you. What a jester. And you worked with these clowns for years, dear?”“Exactly, my words.” I shook my head.“Wait~ What is this~ Have you all… haaaa, also see the former queen? Huh? Am I not the only one who saw
A huge chaos and crisis was unfolding before my eyes. I still vividly remember how this small town alive even though the darkness of night shrouded it. But now all of that is engulfed in a big fire. We literally bathed in a sea of fire.The only reason why we were still fine despite the flames that enveloped us was thanks to Alpha Deen's divine energy. I'm not sure how his ability works, but it kind of protects us from being touched by fire.Even though I couldn't really feel the heat of the fire surrounding us, my chest felt tight, as if all the air had disappeared. My hands are shaking. And after a suffocating silence, I stretched my hand out to Rohan. He grabbed my hand.I can see this choice happening because of two possibilities. One, the desperate actions of the survivors to keep the Calamity away from them, or Jermaine ordering the burning of this entire city.This guess was reflexively projected in my mind because he often advised me to burn things he considered useless. He a
“I should have seen this coming and put another guard beside him on your side. But picturing two men following you around everywhere ticks me off so much.” A low growl sounded out under his rough breath.I could understand from his gaze why he felt upset at this situation. I would probably feel upset if I were in his position. He is accustomed to leading people who obey his orders and put aside their personal ideas for the community's welfare. But now he meets someone like me as his Luna.In this part, I admit my mistake towards Rohan. So I need to do that to appease his upset. I glanced at Alpha Deen and Sir Rojja, who were acting indifferent, although I'm not sure if they were really indifferent to our conversation. I still have to do it even though I have to bear the shame for the rest of my life.I took a breath from my mouth, then let out the spell. “I miss you soooo much that everything in front of me reminds me of you. When I eat, when I sleep, when I look at flowers, when I lo
After receiving solace after a long time from the letter written by Ruri, a painful realization came to me instead. Because what I consider a brief entertainment is a misery for almost everyone in Southern Olf. They lost two important figures at the highest level of command, who were supposed to help them reorganize the state order.Well, I don't know how they look at Luelle, whether they feel they can lean on her or even think of her as nothing. But it's different with Jermaine, their Alpha King.They have relied on the authority of the Alpha King for many years, from generation to generation. And so far, their life in Southern Olf is not so bad because of the sense of security provided by Alpha King's predecessors, then now by Jermaine and... me, to be honest.Knowing it's frail, it must be devastating as they can't hang on to Jermaine's rope. They must be afraid that the more they cling to the rope, the more they fall. Their best shot right now is to depend on high-ranking wolves f