Life is crazy. You don't know what you're doing half the time. And even when you do something right, other people will screw you over. I have been on this earth for twenty-seven years, and I still find new ways to be disappointed. The soft, white, and fluffy fleece blankets are wrapped around me. My eyes flutter as I look around my surroundings. My clothes are scattered all around his room. I silently chuckle when I see his shirt hanging from the ceiling lamp. I have my alarms silenced because I must get out of bed before the guy wakes up. With quite purposeful precision, I get out of bed and pick up my clothes from the ground. I tiptoe around the room and dress up. The guy groans and moves around his bed. I turn my head and stay still. The panic in me spikes as I see him move. If he wakes up, then I'm screwed. I hate having conversations with one-night stands; it is always so awkward. But the panic subdues when he remains in his bed sleeping. Luckily, he seems to be a deep sleeper
I have a fabulous friend. And if it isn’t obvious by now, the person that I am talking about is Christine Gyamfi. And if you don't know who she is, then read the other book; The Light's Shadow. It's an original book that she wrote herself. I personally didn't read the book, but I'm sure that you will. I mean, why are you reading this then? But that's beside the point. Christine is awesome. She is hilarious, kind, and sweet. The woman also treats everyone around her with respect. She is one of the few people that fuels my faith in humanity. She’s an author and has written great books including ‘Live your Life’ and honestly, she deserved it. She went through hell and back to become the thing that she wanted to be. I fuck with her because of that. When I first knew her, I thought that she was a popular chatty bitch that talked shit about people behind their backs. However, that was based on the rumors I heard about her. These rumors came from actual fake bitches who act nice in fro
I am annoyed at Calvin Gyamfi. Christine has put such a good word of him, and yet he couldn’t come to her birthday party. But I cannot be mad at him. Calvin is a very occupied man, so it's no surprise that he didn't come to Christine's birthday party. But he promised her. When it comes to being there for your siblings, you must know that there is a bond, unlike any friendship. However, that's why I am Christine's best friend. I need to present her with the best gift. Even though it isn't her birthday anymore. I am not an idiot, though. I highly doubt that the CEO of Danial’s Corporation will reply to me without thinking that I'm some liar. And even if he does, it could take months for him to consider coming to Toronto. But, if I can persuade him, then I’m sure that she’ll meet him again. I have a lot of planning ahead of me. But right now, I am comforting a moping Christine. Both of us are sitting on our favourite rotting bench in High Park. We always sit here to talk about stuf
'Hello, You must be Jessica. I’ve heard so much about you from Christine. And I understand that you are worried about your best friend. But if I could visit my little sister, don’t you think I would? There’s something holding me back, and the conflict that Christine and I have is between her and me. I don't need people like you to interfere. Please know that Jessica' Those words above are not what I expected. At all. The smile I had on my face is now morphing into a sinister scowl. Calvin said no. That piece of crap said no to me. He said no to coming to visit her only sister. Really? And you read that too right? The way he wrote it was so condescending. He acts like a pompous prick. How can he think that what he is doing is something to overlook? Christine is upset because of him, and he isn't doing anything about it. Whatever conflict they have that's preventing him from coming can wait. Right now, he needs to be here. He should be lucky that I am trying to help him. Nothing
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!!!!!!!! That’s the only word I can describe my mental state after my shift today. I am a mess, and I cannot even ask Christine for help: even though I tell her everything. So, I am pulling out all my straws. I can’t tell my co-workers because I know that they can’t keep a secret. So, there’s only one other person that I can trust. The drive was fast. But it feels too slow for me. Every traffic light I stopped at, every streetlight I went by, and every road I crossed feels like forever. However, none of that matters to me at that moment. Calvin was coming in a few months, and I don’t know how to properly surprise Christine. You may think that a few months is plenty of time, but I hadn't planned anything. And every idea that comes up gets worse and worse. I am going to Johnathan for a second opinion, and hopefully, I can get him to help me organize this surprise. Johnathan Rabinovich is Christine's closest friend. They’ve known each other for over two decades. A
"You will never understand others until you understand yourself" These dumb words were told to me by an old friend. I mean, she wasn't really a friend. Her name was Lila, she was a shy girl, and I felt bad for her. Then she cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend, and I lost all my respect for her. It's been nine years since she told me that piece of crap. But, I am still intrigued about the part about understanding myself. What defines me? How would people describe my personality? I don't really know, but it doesn't hurt to explore that today. Calvin's arrival is coming up soon. And I'm really excited because he has ensured me that he and his friend will arrive. I have decided that all of us will meet at the Blazing Lights. It's an awesome club, and Christine won't suspect a thing. Perfect. It's my day off because I have no classes. So maybe I can start this adventure in my home. Or should I say my inherited home? I walk to my front door and pick up the framed photo o
One hour. I had been waiting for A FUCKING HOUR. I told Christine that she had to pick me up, and she said yes. I roll my eyes at how she failed with her end of the deal. Do you remember when I said that I have been on this earth for twenty-seven years, and I still find new ways to be disappointed? Well, this is one of these things. I'm not even sure why I'm surprised. Christine always does this. Yet I can't help but see red. Today was supposed to be different. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined. I have spent months trying to make a perfect plan for Calvin's arrival. He and his friend have been in Toronto for about two days now. I remember being happy that everything was finally going to plan this morning. John even got to swap his shift with another coworker. Everything was perfect. However, the only thing that I didn't account for is Christine. You see, Christine tends to be extremely late to different events; this was no exception. I guess Christine to
Getting inside 'The Blazing Lights' took forever. The line to get inside usually doubles in size. during peak hours. It takes hours to even get halfway through. I think we got in within an hour, though. Every minute that went by, my dissipated anger begins bubbling again. Let me tell you something. When you’re standing in line to get inside the biggest club in the world, you will have people shoving and cutting in. The amount of people who I’d punch in this line is immeasurable. I am starting to get pissed off again. Calvin and his friend are both waiting for us. And all my weeks of planning are going to waste. He'll leave and return to the States without seeing Christine, and I will never be trusted by him. I look down at my phone and text Calvin, letting him know that we are in the line. He then replies with an irritated text about how he’ll leave soon. A scowl begins forming on my face. If Christine isn't always so late, she'd me and Johnathan up and see the surprise. None of
I truly did not think that I would meet someone like Seth. He is funny, sweet, and his presence makes me smile. I even told him about my daughter, and he accepted the information. Maybe when I am ready, I will introduce him to my little Addie. I see a future with him. I just hope that I am not getting my hopes up. As we cuddle on his couch and watch ‘To Love and Lose’ I look up and stare into his handsome face. He looks down at me and his aqua eyes takes a glimpse of my soul. We lean into each other, and our lips meet in a heart-warming embrace. Seth slides his hands onto my cheek as he deepens the kiss. I
I don't think that dating is for me. Honestly, I haven't even moved on. He occupies my mind, I feel him everywhere as I long for his protected touch. I dream about him with fantasies of what could've, should've, and would've been. I'm pretty sure that my therapist's eyes reached the back of his head when I mentioned one word about him. He suggests that I move on. He goes on to say that I need to preoccupy my mind with the closure that Calvin gave me. I agree with him wholeheartedly. Moving is the right thing to do, but I don't know where to start. "I'm giving up," The constant banging echoing on the stage is interrupted by my declaration. Gabrielle, with her ballet shoes still in her hands, twists her head at almost the speed of light. A shiver runs down my spine as those green orbs stare into my essence. "I don't think that it's right for me to date right now. I mean, after everything between Calvin and I, I feel like I'm betraying him," Gabrielle slams the pointe shoes. I can
I'm so done right now. As the cynical cephalopod says in the television show about marine animals: Another day, another migraine. I enjoy being promoted. That statement needs to be put out there. I'm not complaining about getting the job that I have wanted since University. The hours are good, the pay is even better, and I can even see the behind-the-scenes of many events. It's amazing and I love everything about this occupation. It doesn't mean that there aren't any downsides to this job. One of the main problems is finding someone to replace my old position. This would be fine if I wasn't pregnant. Thanks to the embezzling creep, my request for maternal leave has been temporarily denied. Turns out that finding a new replacement is a must. As the managing department stated 'the first task as the new manager of Little Celia's Ballet Studio is to choose the next lead dancer', so I have to do this before I can take care of myself and my little bun. Words cannot begin the absolut
"How does that make you feel," My therapist asks for the nth time. I sigh at his question. I'm trying to not get annoyed. However, this conversation doesn't seem to go anywhere. "I mean, it doesn't feel good at all. My mom was abusive to me and caused me to become like this. That woman never loved me, she never cared for me, and she left me when I needed her the most," I respond. I have already gone over my mother with Dr. Khumalo. He knows that it is still a touchy subject for me, she is already gone. "Yes. We have gone over the actions inflicted on you by her. However, I have noticed that you have not grieved her passing," I released a huff of disbelief. Does he expect me to grieve her? I'm glad that the woman is dead. "I don't care. She should've thought of that before abusing me. I hate her," The LCPC writes down some things in his notebook. I sigh, I don't like that he's writing all of this down. I know that it's his job but I still feel judged by him. "Your hatred for your
Life is crazy. You don't know what you're doing most of the time. And even if you do something right, other people will screw you over. Jessica Williams has been on this earth for almost twenty-eight years, and she is afraid of the future. All of them pale in comparison to the hardship she experienced at the beginning of August. In the beginning, the woman was heartbroken, sad, and alone. She didn't feel like herself anymore. Waking up knowing that the of her life is gone were small cuts to her already bleeding heart. The woman misses the man she adores every single day. After realizing that he also reciprocated her feelings, her loneliness grew. The day he left her, the man took a piece of her with him. Soon, things got better. Over the span of weeks and months, the woman is learning to grow as a person. Jessica knows that this isn't the end of the world. Every day is a stepping stone. Some days are better than others. But she knows that she will never give up. The young woman w
I royally fucked up big time. Calvin is gone, Christine is mad at me, and John is disappointed in me. I get it, I have become the bad guy in this scenario and I feel like shit. To Christine, it might appear that I am lying. There is no way that she doesn't think that I did sleep with 'Stan'. I didn't. However, it seems that no amount of convincing with stop her from reaching that conclusion. Vittorio is a faithful man (even though I hate to admit it). The adoration he has for her is more than genuine. Now, thanks to me, the man is fully dedicated to finding his father. Through solemn words and empty expression, he explains that Christine packed her things and left their home. After demanding an answer from him and receiving none, Christine left. No matter how hard he tries contacting her, she has (temporarily) blocked him. He's trying all that he can to bring her back. This means that he will need to find his father faster. This is putting him under a lot of pressure. Great, n
He's gone. Calvin is gone. And I feel so empty. I don't even know how to describe his loss. He's returning to the states in a few weeks. I can tell that I will be missing him more; if that's even possible. Everything around me reminds me of him, and the thought of losing anything from him makes me sad. A tender hand rubs over my belly with care and tenderness. I look down and continue rubbing. I couldn't go through with the procedure. I've decided that, despite my mistakes, it's still someone's child. Despite being unprepared, I am willing to raise it with the love and adoration that I never got from my own mother. Raising this child isn't going to be easy, but I know that I can do it. Sometimes in life, you have to take charge of your mistakes and own up to them. What's the worst that can happen? Sitting on my porch and thinking is nice, it gives me a good idea of what I will do to plan for the future, like my job. Because of how rigorous my job is in terms of body fitness,
I'm trying, okay? As someone who cares for Calvin a lot, I am making an effort to ignore the first time he's EVER yelled at me. It's understandable though. No one is perfect, and sometimes you can't keep your composure. A week has gone by since my recital and our dinner. And each new day is making me feel so anxious. Why can't he just tell me what is going on? Does he not trust me? Is he thinking of breaking up with me? "Ms. Williams, are you okay?" I look down and see that Marie is tugging my pant leg. Worry is painted on the innocent girl's face. I sigh and nod. I muster up the non-existent composure and resume my class. Great, now my students are noticing my behavior. But I can't help it. I'm having a crisis right now. Luckily our class goes by smoothly, and 3 pm comes. And on queue, the parents come in and pick up the children. Once the class is empty, I pack my stuff and leave. I need to clear my head. As I walk to the exit, I see Marie sitting on the bench once again. Loo
Tonight is the night of the recital. All of my hard work and my students' progress will be displayed for the audience to see. We have managed to rehearse wonderfully in the Royal Alexandre Theatre, and they seem to be in the right positions on the stage floor. This is crazy. Unlike my usual recitals, Jake went all out and sent tickets to everyone. Now the theatre is fully booked. He even got members of the Toronto Symphony Orchestra to play the violin concerto. He also hired movers who moved a harpsichord underneath the stage. My nerves crawl all over me and a cold chill follows. Dedication and devotion are evident in these children. And yet a simple trip or a wrong step can ruin everything. I huddle all of my class around a circle, and we put our heads in the centre. "Okay everyone, this is what all of our hard work is for. Let's make the people watching us be struck by our amazing dancing and storytelling. And backstage, we have some pizza as a reward," The kids smile and titte