{~~Avery Sterling~~}I’m back in this beautiful pack, surrounded by familiar faces, and yet it feels so foreign after everything we’ve been through. the rain stopped while I was away and now we have a new season. The landscape is stunning, especially now, with the first snowfall of the season transforming the dense forest and the lake into a quiet, white wonderland. The snow blankets the ground in thick, untouched layers, making the whole world seem calm and serene, but cold—bitingly cold. It's as if the snow carries the weight of my worries. The weather has shifted dramatically over the past few days, moving from endless, gloomy rain to this sudden onset of winter. So, congratulations on freezing my butt off, even with all the layers I'm bundled in.Logan and I had spent last night at the lake house, a place of solace for us, trying to reconnect after everything that’s been thrown at us. It was bittersweet, those quiet moments by the fire, the crackling logs filling the air with warm
{~~Avery Sterling~~}Logan and I had left Hope in the hospital. The tiny bundle of life—so fragile, yet resilient—was resting safely in the nursery, surrounded by the quiet hum of machines and the gentle presence of nurses. We’d return tomorrow, once we were sure they’d had time to scan her brain and ensure she was truly safe for release. My heart ached to leave her, but it was necessary. Thank goodness she was a baby, still too young to understand fear in the way that we did. She wouldn’t know the anxiety, the sleepless nights, the never-ending worry. All she knew was warmth and the safety of sleep, cocooned in blankets too big for her tiny form.The snow had started falling again, soft and silent, covering the world in a layer of purity that felt both soothing and unsettling. Logan drove carefully through the winding streets, the heater on low, warming our chilled fingers. We didn’t speak much, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that sat between two peo
{~~Avery Sterling~~}The almost-car accident shakes me up more than I expected, but Logan is fine, and I’m fine. It all happened so fast, and yet I can still feel the pulse of my heartbeat in my throat when I think about it. That truck had come out of nowhere. The driver didn’t even slow down. Had I not tripped over that stone while I was looking for a signal on my phone and he’d come to check on me... logan would have died a painful death before my eyes.So of course I was a fucking mess. That driver is crazy. Did he not see the car? Why did the car even stop? What was wrong with the engine? I have like six million questions!He called Ryan to come get us. I was in his arms on the side of the road, watching as other cars drove around the wreckage. They don’t stop but look on surprised at the mess. Whoever that driver was I hope to god his truck breaks down and he’s fired. Because what the hell?He should have at least stopped. Panic fills me but so does anger. The panic wins though.
\One Year Later/{~~Avery Sterling~~}So, you know how little girls always dream about their wedding day? It’s supposed to be this big, magical event, where everything falls perfectly into place, and for some, it’s the pinnacle of their dreams, right? But not me. I never had those kinds of dreams. You know how my life was, how crappy my sister and parents treated me. There was never much room in my head for fantasies like that. Growing up, I couldn’t even imagine what marriage would feel like because I was too busy surviving and getting through the mess of my family. But, okay, maybe deep down, I had some dreams. Everyone does, right? I just never thought they’d come true.And marrying Logan Grey—that’s a whole different thing altogether. I mean, when we started planning the wedding, I was so overwhelmed. There were just so many details, and so many decisions, and with everything I’ve been through, I just didn’t have the energy to care about floral arrangements or seating charts. So, I
{~~Logan Grey~~}My honeymoon is not at all what I expected. It’s one of those situations where you step back and think, How did I not see this coming? But I guess that’s what happens when you go with the flow and don’t plan out every last detail, just trusting that things will fall into place. We decided not to bring Hope with us, even though part of me wanted her to be here. She’s spending the week with my parents—her grandparents—which feels like a huge milestone, not just for her, but for me too. Avery and I wanted this time to ourselves, to really celebrate our marriage without any distractions, to focus on us for a change.We’re an odd pair to most people, and I know some didn’t expect us to last, but we’ve made it work in ways that surprise even me sometimes. Over the last year, we’ve settled into this rhythm that’s become second nature. It’s a good rhythm, one that’s brought us closer, and made us stronger. It’s funny—when you think about it, but it feels like so much longer.
{~~Avery Sterling~~}The waterfall is majestic and stunning. Logan suggested we go in naked since we’re the only ones here. I’ll admit, trusting a radically vegan hippie to plan my honeymoon was a bold and disturbing choice. Third year in college she lugged me off to the rain forest where we camped for six weeks so we could connect with the gods who brought us here.It was my worst summer vacation. Six long weeks. But I got so much work done that I felt like I came back even smarter. I love Agatha, but my goodness, her ideas of fun are always nature-like. The lack of wifi is going to kill me, but thank god I got another honeymoon present from Logan’s parents as an apology for the way they acted at the start of my marriage to their son.And that one is for two months on a cruise. We’ll be leaving for that after a week of getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.The water is cold, and the view is even better. I talk alot of crap about Agatha but the woman is far more connected to this world t
{~~Avery Sterling~~} Love, that emotion is such a hoax. Actually, it’s not. It’s beautiful with the right person, ugly with the wrong person. But I can’t have the beauty or the ugliness when my love is unrequited. When I first met him, the Medic alpha in training, I was enamored. Mostly due to the fact that our pack has never had a medic alpha before. They’re usually assigned to the bigger, and more popular packs, ours was none of that. I was delighted. At the age of eleven, I was getting into the phase of having crushes, and the thirteen-year-old medic alpha was right in my sight. He was smart, charming, too good to be training to work in a pack like ours. No offense. I know my father worked hard but we had to be honest. I hoped he’d notice me, and we’d become friends. Move from friends to lovers. Yes, I had it all planned out in my head. I knew when we’d get married and have children, and blah blah blah. I was learning what it meant to love, and he was befriending my sister. Ne
{~~Avery Sterling~~} I said yes. I’m weak for him, I know. I’m disappointed in myself too. The more I thought about being his wife, the less the consequences seemed to be. Two weeks went by and we were set to be married. I’d had all my stuff moved here, Logan gave me a spot in his house to put them in. A large room. Not the master bedroom. I’m not sure why, but slowly it started to dawn on me. I am the definition of desperation. Who gets engaged to the man who spent half his life fawning over her sister? I must be crazy. I stared at myself in the mirror. We’re not having a big wedding. Logan’s invited his family, and my family is going to serve as witnesses. We’re having a court wedding. I tried to suggest something else but his response was chilling. Still, that didn’t stop me. First loves suck. I’m not ava. Why did I think him deciding to marry me would... this is so stupid. I don’t have to go through with it. My parents only paid for my fees but that’s all they did for me. I d