*~~Chapter Two~~*

{~~Avery Sterling~~}

I said yes. I’m weak for him, I know. I’m disappointed in myself too. The more I thought about being his wife, the less the consequences seemed to be. Two weeks went by and we were set to be married. I’d had all my stuff moved here, Logan gave me a spot in his house to put them in. A large room. Not the master bedroom.

I’m not sure why, but slowly it started to dawn on me. I am the definition of desperation. Who gets engaged to the man who spent half his life fawning over her sister?

I must be crazy. I stared at myself in the mirror. We’re not having a big wedding. Logan’s invited his family, and my family is going to serve as witnesses. We’re having a court wedding. I tried to suggest something else but his response was chilling.

Still, that didn’t stop me. First loves suck.

I’m not ava. Why did I think him deciding to marry me would... this is so stupid. I don’t have to go through with it. My parents only paid for my fees but that’s all they did for me. I don’t want them homeless though, I’m not a monster. I love them, in a different way.

Maybe things will turn out differently. Perhaps he’ll see that I’m.. I laughed at myself.

What a thought. He didn’t even know my name until my sister robbed him. That’s what my mother said. She seems to have some regrets for showing too much attention to my sister and nothing to me. But isn’t that a bit too late?

I’m twenty-four. I was second place to Ava, and even now when she’s not here, I still remain at second.

I got up from the chair, my hair looked okay. Probably not as good as Ava. She was his for years, and now I’m marrying him because she wanted someone better. Who could be better than a medic alpha?

Who? Especially one from the Grey family. I just have to get this over with. Who knows, perhaps he’ll realize that being broken up by the girl he really wanted to marry isn’t a good thing. Then perhaps I’ll get to be the one who mends his heart. Perhaps he might see something better in me.

Again, I laughed. What a ridiculous thought. How am I supposed to compete with a girl like Ava?

While he was my first love, Ava was his. And if I’m any evidence then first loves don’t just fade. Not love like this.

The wedding was.... boring. I imagined my marriage would be anything but this. Logan didn’t even wear a suit. He wore a long-sleeved black turtle neck and a pair of grey pants. He looked refined, but this was not the place to wear work clothes.

He had an empty expression on his face, and I tried not to look behind me. This is embarrassing. My wedding to Logan lasted twenty minutes. We signed the papers, and I got a plain gold ring.

As empty as his feelings for me. On my way out, I was stopped by my mother who wanted to thank me. I could only nod. The ring is just so empty, this wedding could barely count as one, and now I’m going back to his house while he goes to work.

I begin tomorrow. Why marry, to be honest? Just why? What is he hoping to gain from this? Make my sister jealous if news gets to her?

With this terrible wedding? She’d be laughing at me. Her new alpha is likely someone even hotter, and better like she claimed. I can never one-up her. That’s the fact of my life.

I drove myself back to the new place I’ll be calling home from now on. Imagine getting married in an ordinary dress. I just plucked it out of my closet.

I grabbed my phone and called my best friend.

Aisha is a beta. Beta ranks from seven hundred downwards to be things like teachers, philosophers, and anything that involves discovering and passing on information. She’s a federal informant for the Dark Moon pack.

“Yay, you’re married.” she didn’t sound excited, and honestly, neither did i.

“Let’s be real, I made a mistake.”

“Of course you did. Had your parents told Ava to do this for them, she’d have stuck her ground and said no. But you’re so into this guy you forgot that he called you ‘that girl’ and ‘Ava’s something’ throughout high school. That asshole didn’t even get to know your name. He kept forgetting Ava had a twin like everyone else. For fuck sake, I thought we were done with this.”

I walked through the hallway, spotting the photos of Ava framed and placed around. Fuck me. Aisha has a point.

“But this could be different. She hurt him. I mean, surely he realizes she’s just all looks-”

“And what? You think if he didn’t realize back then, he will now?”

“He.... why else would he marry me?”

“maybe because you look like the woman he loves. He’s so into her he’s willing to marry the girl he didn’t know had a name. For fuck sake, and your fucking parents. They did nothing for you. Not one praise. This happens all the time.”

“Aisha-”

“No, no. I am tired of you doing this. Remember when Ava scratched your dad’s car? Hmm? She cried and said they’d forbid her from going to her friend’s birthday if you don’t take the blame. You took the blame, they bought her a car of her own and forbade you from driving for six months. You were walking to school, and she didn’t even offer to drive you once. Or how about the time your mom saw her sneak out and get wasted in your neighbor’s yard, but when they were asked which daughter did it, they turned you in? Your neighbour believed it too. It’s so stupid. So fucking stupid how these people take advantage of you and you let them. Did you not enjoy being free? I just.... I’ll call you tomorrow. But I stuck by you through all of that. I didn’t fall for her bullshit once. I thought we’d gone past letting your feelings for this asshole get the better of you, but you’re not. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but at least Ava had some backbone. You have none, and I won’t be picking up your calls to hear you weep and sob. I did enough of that throughout high school.”

Aisha hung up before I could say anything else back. At least Ava had a backbone.

I ran my hand through my hair. Thinking about how the wedding was so bland, no feelings involved. The way my parents hugged me for the first time because I was giving them something. I looked at the painting in front of me. Ava and Logan look happy and all too in love.

And she had the guts to leave him for someone better. She was daring, she was bold, she didn’t chase- she attracted people to her.

Me? I’m settling for scraps because I’m still in love with this guy. I’ve pissed off my best friend because she thought I’d moved on. That I was better than this.

Goddess, even after six years, I’m still a loser. I continued my walk back to my room. Tomorrow I start work at the hospital Logan runs. I can’t wait for that. I slipped out of my shoes, and scrolled through my phone.

Aisha might be right about my parents, but what if things end differently with Logan? Ava is out of the picture. He knows my name. I can woo him. Sure, I can’t flirt for shit. Defending myself is not my forte. But I’m sure we can build something together.

I have to at least try.

Or all this would have just been the introduction to my memoir of stupidity. And while Aisha is right, I let assholes dictate my life, but I want this to work out more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

I can show him. Fuck it, I can do it. I’m not entirely the girl I used to be. I can, and I will do this.