Chapter 4

Clara.

I was over the moon as I left A block. I already had orders, something to actively do, granted it was only moving my stuff into my newly assigned room with the other recruits but it was something, a step in the right direction.

I forced my body towards the rec room, hoping that Matt would be there, it was still lunch time, so classes were out for a while yet and I couldn't wait to tell him.

Every one of my muscles ached and my legs felt like jelly as I forced them to carry me along the familiar corridors but as tired as my body was, my mind was on over drive. This was it. My career. I was in the army. I smiled again, unable to keep it to myself any longer I picked up my pace.

Matt was sat on one of the sofas in the rec room, what had once been a staff room, with his arm around Maddie and a smile of his own on his face. He saw me and excused himself, coming to my side just inside the rooms entrance.

“Well?”

“I'm in.” I smiled wide as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground in a tight hug.

“Congrats, see I knew you could do it. I'm happy for you. Now you just have to promise me that you will be careful.”

“Of course I will.” I smiled.

"Come on then, tell me all about it, I know your dying to.” He smiled leading the way out of the crowded rec room towards one of the inner courtyards.

“It was intense Matt. I'm absolutely knackered.” I smiled lightly. “I spent an hour working out, an hour doing combat, an hour on weaponry and an hour talking to the commander as a sort of informal interview.”

“How did combat go?” He asked having a personal interest in it since he had been the one helping me to train.

“Better than I expected it would, Brad, the guy I was paired with was obviously better than me but I held my own, just about. The commander was impressed anyway, enough that he's accelerating my training.” I smirked.

“No way?”

“Yeah, they are putting me in with one of the advanced recruit classes, so that I should be finished training in about a month.”

Matt had nothing to say to that, his expression was as easy to read as a book, a mixture of pride and worry. I wished there was something I could say to eradicate the worry from his mind but there was nothing, there were no guarantees, no matter how careful I was out there, it was always a risk. A risk of being killed, or worse, a risk of being infected.

“What are you going to tell your parents?” He asked, bringing my mind around to the one thing I was currently worried about.

“The truth. That I cant imagine doing anything else. That I didn't tell them before because I didn't want to risk them talking me out of it. God Matt I'm dreading it. And its not like I have long to tell them either, the commander wants me in my new room by night fall, I start training first thing.” I stated feeling strained. I hated the idea of disappointing my parents but there was no helping it now. I was in, it was done. There was no changing it.

We sat in silence in the cool breeze that drifted in over the high walls surrounding the courtyard, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

“Everything's changing.” Matt muttered.

“Not everything.”

“It is though. Soon enough your going to be off on god only knows what missions and I'm going to be working all hours god send in medical. We're hardly going to see each other any more.”

“Well we will just have to make time. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” I smiled although I felt the worry too. With the exception of the two weeks we spent avoiding each other, Matt and I hadn't gone a day without seeing each other in six years, it was going to be a big change.

We sat in silence until the end of lunch when Matt made his way to his next class and I headed home to start packing up my things. If I got it done now, then when my parents got home from work we would have more time to talk before I had to leave.

It didn't take as long as I thought it would to pack up my things, it wasn't like I owned much. A couple of pictures that had been rescued from one of the rooms in the prison a small wardrobe of clothes, that I doubted I would get to wear very often any more, I would be outfitted with my new army blacks tonight and a necklace that had belonged to my grandmother many years ago. I placed all my things neatly inside a bag and put the bag on the bed.

I took a deep breath and a looked around the room. It had been my room for years, so many years. I shook my head feeling foolish at my sentimentality, it wasn't like I was going far.

I slouched back on the sofa in the living room, picking up a book from the table and flicking through the pages, I had read it before but I needed something to occupy my mind until my parents got back, otherwise I would spend the next couple of hours worrying.

I must have dozed off at some point because my father shook me awake, his face smudged with grease as he leant over my uncomfortable position on the sofa.

“Are you okay Clara? Are you ill?” He asked.

“No why?” My question was punctuated with a frown of worry.

“Because you are home before you should be and asleep on the sofa.” He smiled lightly.

I shook off the sleep and sat up on the sofa, stretching my aching shoulders and neck, oh hell who was I kidding, all of me ached. I glanced at my watch. Three hours before I was due in A block. “Where's Mum?”

“Not back yet. Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should get checked out at medical.” He suggested and I smiled lightly.

“I'm fine Dad. I just have something to talk to you and Mum about, I must have fell asleep while I was waiting.”

“Oh okay. What did you want to talk about?”

“Can we wait until Mum gets home?” I asked watching as he ran a dirty hand through his blonde hair.

“Sure, I guess. Although I doubt she will be happy to know that you have skipped school.” He said with a raised brow and I just sat in silence. I had lied to my parents enough over the years, without doing it again now.

Dad fumbled with soap in the sink, washing off the dirt and grease that had attached itself to his skin and I sat in the silence that seemed to stretch on and on while I waited for Mum to get back.

With each passing minute the ball of nerves in my stomach grew until I actually did start to feel ill, sick like I would throw up at any moment. How is it possible that I have no fear of walking outside of the compound and facing down the infected, yet I can’t even think of facing my parents’ wrath without wanting to run and hide. Some warrior I was.