Chapter 5

Clara.

The minutes ticket by slowly and I tensed every time I heard footsteps echoing through the block while I waited to see if Mum was home.

“Are you sure you are okay Clara? You’re worrying me sweetheart.” Dad asked from his seat on the other sofa. His face was lined with worry as he watched me, and I couldn’t really say I blamed him. I was sure that by now I was green, and God only knows what my face had looked like while my mind had been turning with thoughts of how to even start this conversation.

“I’m fine Dad. I promise.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” He asked and I just about chocked at the thought.

“God no! Why would you think that?”

“Well, your getting older, and you and Matt are very close these days.” He stated with a shrug of his shoulders and a pink tinge to his cheeks.

It took a moment for his words to truly sink in but once they did my face flamed in embarrassment. Oh god, my parents thought I was sleeping with Matt.

“No Dad. Matt and I are just friends.”

“Well okay then.” He mumbled.

Eventually the silence was broken by the sound of feet on the walkway and my mother’s smiling face in the door.

“Hey Honey, you're home early everything okay?” Mum asked me making me jump a little, now I was worried she would jump to the same conclusion as my Dad rather than being worried about their reaction to the truth.

“She was asleep on the sofa when I got in.” Dad chimed in.

“Are you feeling ill?”

“No Mum I'm fine.”

“Then why weren't you at school?”

“Um, maybe you should sit down, Dad?” I questioned hoping that they would go easy on me. After several seconds of deliberation they both took up seats on the other sofa and I swallowed passed the lump in my throat.

“What is it Clara? What's wrong?” Mum questioned worry lining her face and I wanted more than anything to rid her of that but I was tongue tied, I had no idea where to start. “You're not pregnant are you? Oh I'm going to be having words with Matt.”

“What!?” I blurted in shock. How was it possible that both of my parents thought I was sleeping with Matt.

“I actually asked that one already, she insists they are just friends, and no bun in the oven.” My Dad informed ana my face flamed red again as I tried to get my emotions under control.

“No Mum, I'm not pregnant, and what makes you think Matt and I.. You know what never mind.” I muttered shaking my head, honestly not wanting to know where those thoughts had come from. “Nothings wrong, not really I just don't know where to start.” I said as honestly as I could.

“Try the beginning.” My dad offered with a smile.

I took a deep breath and braced myself. “I decided on my career.”

“Oh that's good.” Mum smiled. “We were getting a little worried. When did you decide?” She asked seeming happy and relaxed all of a sudden and I hated that I was about to change that.

“Four years ago.”

I watched both of their expressions change, lined with confusion.

“I don't understand, you said you didn't know what you wanted to do.” My Dad spoke.

“I lied. I've always known.” I stated bluntly but still not having found the courage to utter the words I needed to.

“Clara I'm really confused now, why would you lie about such a thing?”

“Because I knew you wouldn't approve and I didn't want you to try and talk me out of it.”

“So why tell us now?” Mum asked although neither one of them seemed to understand yet and I knew I wasn't making it any clearer.

“Because now it can’t be changed.” I muttered and watched as my Dads eyes went wide with realisation.

“Clara you didn't! Tell me that you didn't join the army.” He stated rather than questioned.

“You did what!?” My Mum almost shouted and I winced. I had known this was coming. I had known they wouldn't approve. I swallowed again.

“I did.”

“Oh god Honey what have you done?”

“The only thing I have ever wanted to do.” I muttered. Stealing my nerves. This was it, it couldn't be changed, there was no backing out of the army once you were in, and I was in. So now I just had to try and get them to see it my way.

“This is the only thing I have ever wanted to do. I have been counting down the days for years to when I would be old enough to sign up. I want this. I'm sorry that you don't approve, I really am, but I'm an adult now, responsible to myself and those around me, isn't that what you always say? Well I want to help protect the people around me, I want to make a difference.”

“Have you already signed up?”

“Yes.” I stated holding my head high.

“Then I guess there really is nothing we can do or say. I wont Lie Clara I wish you hadn't done this but you are our daughter, we will support you no matter what.”

My whole body relaxed at those words, my Mum was crying and my Dad looked horrified but they weren't cutting me out. That was the first step I guess. The rest would come with time.

“There's one more thing.” I muttered wincing slightly.

“What?” My Dad questioned cautiously.

“I have to move out.”

“When?”

“Tonight, I need to be in A block by nightfall.”

“Oh Clara.” My Mum cried, resting her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms tightly around my waist.

“It's okay Mum, you'll see, everything will be okay.”

“I'm not ready to lose you.”

“I'm not going far Mum. And I'll be careful. I'll stay safe.” I muttered. Holding her tight. Maybe Matt was right after all, things really were changing.