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It’s amazing what the human heart can endure when you have a will like mine. It’s amazing how you can bounce back, like you were, no matter what life throws at you. It’s amazing how many masks I must keep in my back pocket for when one gets smashed into a thousand pieces so I can slide a new one on.
We’re on a plane already, and I’m cool and controlled and acting like yesterday never happened. Red head is gone, thank god, and Jake seems like the normal good old Jake from before our vacation. The past week or so erased from memory. Just like that!All is almost right with the world if I can just ignore all of that. Forget all the tears, and ignore the crazy way he makes me feel, that I can no longer honestly say is platonic. He’s on his cell, despite me glaring at him about using it on the plane.“Yes, that’s right.” He waves his hand at my expression, dismissing me as I picture us crashing into the ocean. “NoRelated chapters
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“I see.” News to me, but okay…“Working the way we do, requires both …and being this close means, sometimes I forget there would be consequences in trying to screw you.” He’s still watching me closely; I’m dying under his scrutiny and the blatant way he’s talking about sex between us. I think I’m also upset by the fact he’s making it pretty clear it would only be that … Nothing deeper! I forget that sex for him doesn’t carry consequences, maybe that’s the issue. He’s too used to meaningless sex and has to remind himself that he would still have to work with me after. While I’m too hung up on what sex with him would do to my heart afterwards and unable to work with him at all.“So, the red head?” I ask, smarting at this conversation.“What about her?”“She’s the one you ran off with for a week?” I’m back to sulking Emma
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I catch Jake glaring at me across the table and stop twisting my hair for the fiftieth time; he’s been touchy this entire trip.Who would have thought a week’s worth of screwing leggy bimbos actually made him more goddamn sulky?I thought sex was meant to put men in a great mood, it must have been awful sex.I look him up and down, trying to appraise that possibility.I’m sure he couldn’t do bad sex, if I’m being honest. He has more stamina than most humans I know and he’s an attentive man naturally. I wonder if women can make sex shitty, even if they’re being bedded by a “sexpert”. Even though I don’t have carnal knowledge of his bed hopping habits, I am pretty sure his confidence is a great hint that he doesn’t have complaints in the bedroom.He’s barking orders at his cell and I’m glad it’s not me on the receiving end. Bear with a sore head certainly suits his mood this pa
The Carrero Effect 73
“He’s in a meeting, Marissa, can I help you?” My clipped tone almost betrays my inner thoughts.“No … I just need to speak to him urgently.” She whines, her voice grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. I don’t like the tone either. I glance again at him through the door, he’s in full CEO mode, commanding the room. Somewhat angrily. I hesitate; his bad mood is enough to put me off and I sigh.“Look, he’s actually in a really important meeting, all I can do is take a message.” I respond drily, she’s just adding to my irritation today.“Just tell him to call me back as soon as he can,” she snaps at me haughtily. The rich kid attitude toward menial employees. The urge to swear at her is strong, but I bite my tongue and mentally count to ten at speed.“Is there any other message, besides calling you back?” I’m trying to ignore the creep of suspicion sliding up my s
The Carrero Effect 74
I waver again, and he pulls me back against him, maybe I should feign fainting in the future if this is the result. Falling into his arms seems to be far too easy and satisfying a habit nowadays. Although, talking of falling.Oh God.My mind slaps me.“Marissa!” I blurt out suddenly, remembering what had first caused my dizziness.“What?” he clamps on me with confusion. A stormy frown creasing his face almost instantly.Shit. Did I say that out loud?“She called … she needs to speak to you.” I cover, hiding the tremor in my voice. He looks both instantly annoyed and something else… wary.“When?” The dark look is back, I hope that means he’s not happy about her call and not that I forgot to tell him. Not that I could be blamed. I was unconscious after all.“Before I … dramatically met the floor.” I try a small smile, but he doesn’t look pleased, he&rsqu
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Jake comes right at me as I attempt to flee sidesways, he pushes me hard against the wall behind me once more and crushes his mouth to mine like our lives depend on it. His lips rams against mine with such force it takes my breath away and I’m too stunned to stop him. My head is still in the middle of the floor, miles behind me, floundering at his statement, and hasn’t yet caught up.I take a minute to pull in my breath. I respond in a way that shocks me to the core; some primal inner me, taking advantage of the few seconds of shock. I latch to his kiss purposefully, opening my lips to have his tongue and mine entwine. A groan coming from deep inside me; hot and wanton. Nothing about this is right, but I can’t stop it, I’ve never known this surge coursing through my body which consumes me. I wrap myself around him, his hands in my hair and mine are around his neck. He’s kissing me with all the passion and pent-up frustration of weeks of weird vibes
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“Let go, Emma,” he coaxes me, but I can’t, I’m trying … I’m trying, but my head’s spiraling with confusion.What happens if I let it happen? What happens if I let him push me over the edge?I don’t want to fall, I don’t want to reach that pinnacle and drop down, free falling. I like control … I need control … I don’t want this to end, because I’m scared of what happens next. It’s too much. It’s terrifying. I don’t know what’s on the other side.He shifts over me, bringing my hands above my head in a swift change, pinning them down. His eyes heavy with longing, his mouth parted and breathing hard. I want him so badly it physically hurts.“Fine … Have it your way.” He raises his eyebrows sardonically.Was that a threat?He’s at my mouth again kissing me hard and I can taste myself on him. I know it should repulse me, but it doe
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“Emma … Merda.” He breathes and groans into my neck, laying heavily over me after his own cumming. I lay sated and breathless as the world slows around me and my senses start to calm. My body is tingling all over, and I’m exhausted. Suddenly emotional and all too aware as sense loses its lust fog. The self-consciousness in me rolls over and it’s like I suddenly see what we just did which shakes me before kicking me in the gut with a rude awakening. I’m semi-naked and entwined with him on the floor of our suite. This is more than an “oh shit” moment … That’s a massive understatement. This is more of a “I’ve lost my fucking mind” moment.I shrug out from under him, instantly mortified, cold, terrified, ashamed, unsure, and he rolls away reluctantly. Kicking his pants and underwear from around his ankles. I start to tremble as this hits me properly, and I scan his naked body in panic.What we have
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Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating a
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