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2024-10-29 19:42:56It’s amazing what the human heart can endure when you have a will like mine. It’s amazing how you can bounce back, like you were, no matter what life throws at you. It’s amazing how many masks I must keep in my back pocket for when one gets smashed into a thousand pieces so I can slide a new one on.
We’re on a plane already, and I’m cool and controlled and acting like yesterday never happened. Red head is gone, thank god, and Jake seems like the normal good old Jake from before our vacation. The past week or so erased from memory. Just like that!All is almost right with the world if I can just ignore all of that. Forget all the tears, and ignore the crazy way he makes me feel, that I can no longer honestly say is platonic. He’s on his cell, despite me glaring at him about using it on the plane.“Yes, that’s right.” He waves his hand at my expression, dismissing me as I picture us crashing into the ocean. “NoRelated chapters
The Carrero Effect 71
“I see.” News to me, but okay…“Working the way we do, requires both …and being this close means, sometimes I forget there would be consequences in trying to screw you.” He’s still watching me closely; I’m dying under his scrutiny and the blatant way he’s talking about sex between us. I think I’m also upset by the fact he’s making it pretty clear it would only be that … Nothing deeper! I forget that sex for him doesn’t carry consequences, maybe that’s the issue. He’s too used to meaningless sex and has to remind himself that he would still have to work with me after. While I’m too hung up on what sex with him would do to my heart afterwards and unable to work with him at all.“So, the red head?” I ask, smarting at this conversation.“What about her?”“She’s the one you ran off with for a week?” I’m back to sulking Emma
The Carrero Effect 72
I catch Jake glaring at me across the table and stop twisting my hair for the fiftieth time; he’s been touchy this entire trip.Who would have thought a week’s worth of screwing leggy bimbos actually made him more goddamn sulky?I thought sex was meant to put men in a great mood, it must have been awful sex.I look him up and down, trying to appraise that possibility.I’m sure he couldn’t do bad sex, if I’m being honest. He has more stamina than most humans I know and he’s an attentive man naturally. I wonder if women can make sex shitty, even if they’re being bedded by a “sexpert”. Even though I don’t have carnal knowledge of his bed hopping habits, I am pretty sure his confidence is a great hint that he doesn’t have complaints in the bedroom.He’s barking orders at his cell and I’m glad it’s not me on the receiving end. Bear with a sore head certainly suits his mood this pa
The Carrero Effect 73
“He’s in a meeting, Marissa, can I help you?” My clipped tone almost betrays my inner thoughts.“No … I just need to speak to him urgently.” She whines, her voice grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. I don’t like the tone either. I glance again at him through the door, he’s in full CEO mode, commanding the room. Somewhat angrily. I hesitate; his bad mood is enough to put me off and I sigh.“Look, he’s actually in a really important meeting, all I can do is take a message.” I respond drily, she’s just adding to my irritation today.“Just tell him to call me back as soon as he can,” she snaps at me haughtily. The rich kid attitude toward menial employees. The urge to swear at her is strong, but I bite my tongue and mentally count to ten at speed.“Is there any other message, besides calling you back?” I’m trying to ignore the creep of suspicion sliding up my s
The Carrero Effect 74
I waver again, and he pulls me back against him, maybe I should feign fainting in the future if this is the result. Falling into his arms seems to be far too easy and satisfying a habit nowadays. Although, talking of falling.Oh God.My mind slaps me.“Marissa!” I blurt out suddenly, remembering what had first caused my dizziness.“What?” he clamps on me with confusion. A stormy frown creasing his face almost instantly.Shit. Did I say that out loud?“She called … she needs to speak to you.” I cover, hiding the tremor in my voice. He looks both instantly annoyed and something else… wary.“When?” The dark look is back, I hope that means he’s not happy about her call and not that I forgot to tell him. Not that I could be blamed. I was unconscious after all.“Before I … dramatically met the floor.” I try a small smile, but he doesn’t look pleased, he&rsqu
The Carrero Effect 75
Jake comes right at me as I attempt to flee sidesways, he pushes me hard against the wall behind me once more and crushes his mouth to mine like our lives depend on it. His lips rams against mine with such force it takes my breath away and I’m too stunned to stop him. My head is still in the middle of the floor, miles behind me, floundering at his statement, and hasn’t yet caught up.I take a minute to pull in my breath. I respond in a way that shocks me to the core; some primal inner me, taking advantage of the few seconds of shock. I latch to his kiss purposefully, opening my lips to have his tongue and mine entwine. A groan coming from deep inside me; hot and wanton. Nothing about this is right, but I can’t stop it, I’ve never known this surge coursing through my body which consumes me. I wrap myself around him, his hands in my hair and mine are around his neck. He’s kissing me with all the passion and pent-up frustration of weeks of weird vibes
The Carrero Effect 76
“Let go, Emma,” he coaxes me, but I can’t, I’m trying … I’m trying, but my head’s spiraling with confusion.What happens if I let it happen? What happens if I let him push me over the edge?I don’t want to fall, I don’t want to reach that pinnacle and drop down, free falling. I like control … I need control … I don’t want this to end, because I’m scared of what happens next. It’s too much. It’s terrifying. I don’t know what’s on the other side.He shifts over me, bringing my hands above my head in a swift change, pinning them down. His eyes heavy with longing, his mouth parted and breathing hard. I want him so badly it physically hurts.“Fine … Have it your way.” He raises his eyebrows sardonically.Was that a threat?He’s at my mouth again kissing me hard and I can taste myself on him. I know it should repulse me, but it doe
The Carrero Effect 77
“Emma … Merda.” He breathes and groans into my neck, laying heavily over me after his own cumming. I lay sated and breathless as the world slows around me and my senses start to calm. My body is tingling all over, and I’m exhausted. Suddenly emotional and all too aware as sense loses its lust fog. The self-consciousness in me rolls over and it’s like I suddenly see what we just did which shakes me before kicking me in the gut with a rude awakening. I’m semi-naked and entwined with him on the floor of our suite. This is more than an “oh shit” moment … That’s a massive understatement. This is more of a “I’ve lost my fucking mind” moment.I shrug out from under him, instantly mortified, cold, terrified, ashamed, unsure, and he rolls away reluctantly. Kicking his pants and underwear from around his ankles. I start to tremble as this hits me properly, and I scan his naked body in panic.What we have
The Carrero Effect 78
Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating a
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The Carrero Effect 271
The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
The Carrero Effect 270
The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
The Carrero Effect 269
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
The Carrero Effect 268
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
The Carrero Effect 267 - Bonus Chapters
The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
The Carrero Effect 266
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
The Carrero Effect 265
“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
The Carrero Effect 264
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
The Carrero Effect 263
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
