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“He’s in a meeting, Marissa, can I help you?” My clipped tone almost betrays my inner thoughts.
“No … I just need to speak to him urgently.” She whines, her voice grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. I don’t like the tone either. I glance again at him through the door, he’s in full CEO mode, commanding the room. Somewhat angrily. I hesitate; his bad mood is enough to put me off and I sigh.“Look, he’s actually in a really important meeting, all I can do is take a message.” I respond drily, she’s just adding to my irritation today.“Just tell him to call me back as soon as he can,” she snaps at me haughtily. The rich kid attitude toward menial employees. The urge to swear at her is strong, but I bite my tongue and mentally count to ten at speed.“Is there any other message, besides calling you back?” I’m trying to ignore the creep of suspicion sliding up my sRelated chapters
The Carrero Effect 74
I waver again, and he pulls me back against him, maybe I should feign fainting in the future if this is the result. Falling into his arms seems to be far too easy and satisfying a habit nowadays. Although, talking of falling.Oh God.My mind slaps me.“Marissa!” I blurt out suddenly, remembering what had first caused my dizziness.“What?” he clamps on me with confusion. A stormy frown creasing his face almost instantly.Shit. Did I say that out loud?“She called … she needs to speak to you.” I cover, hiding the tremor in my voice. He looks both instantly annoyed and something else… wary.“When?” The dark look is back, I hope that means he’s not happy about her call and not that I forgot to tell him. Not that I could be blamed. I was unconscious after all.“Before I … dramatically met the floor.” I try a small smile, but he doesn’t look pleased, he&rsqu
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Jake comes right at me as I attempt to flee sidesways, he pushes me hard against the wall behind me once more and crushes his mouth to mine like our lives depend on it. His lips rams against mine with such force it takes my breath away and I’m too stunned to stop him. My head is still in the middle of the floor, miles behind me, floundering at his statement, and hasn’t yet caught up.I take a minute to pull in my breath. I respond in a way that shocks me to the core; some primal inner me, taking advantage of the few seconds of shock. I latch to his kiss purposefully, opening my lips to have his tongue and mine entwine. A groan coming from deep inside me; hot and wanton. Nothing about this is right, but I can’t stop it, I’ve never known this surge coursing through my body which consumes me. I wrap myself around him, his hands in my hair and mine are around his neck. He’s kissing me with all the passion and pent-up frustration of weeks of weird vibes
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“Let go, Emma,” he coaxes me, but I can’t, I’m trying … I’m trying, but my head’s spiraling with confusion.What happens if I let it happen? What happens if I let him push me over the edge?I don’t want to fall, I don’t want to reach that pinnacle and drop down, free falling. I like control … I need control … I don’t want this to end, because I’m scared of what happens next. It’s too much. It’s terrifying. I don’t know what’s on the other side.He shifts over me, bringing my hands above my head in a swift change, pinning them down. His eyes heavy with longing, his mouth parted and breathing hard. I want him so badly it physically hurts.“Fine … Have it your way.” He raises his eyebrows sardonically.Was that a threat?He’s at my mouth again kissing me hard and I can taste myself on him. I know it should repulse me, but it doe
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“Emma … Merda.” He breathes and groans into my neck, laying heavily over me after his own cumming. I lay sated and breathless as the world slows around me and my senses start to calm. My body is tingling all over, and I’m exhausted. Suddenly emotional and all too aware as sense loses its lust fog. The self-consciousness in me rolls over and it’s like I suddenly see what we just did which shakes me before kicking me in the gut with a rude awakening. I’m semi-naked and entwined with him on the floor of our suite. This is more than an “oh shit” moment … That’s a massive understatement. This is more of a “I’ve lost my fucking mind” moment.I shrug out from under him, instantly mortified, cold, terrified, ashamed, unsure, and he rolls away reluctantly. Kicking his pants and underwear from around his ankles. I start to tremble as this hits me properly, and I scan his naked body in panic.What we have
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Why am I hiding? Because I’m scared … The overwhelming realization of what I’ve just done is drowning me. Jake’s anger and aggression are scaring me. I’m suffocating, and I can’t think straight. I can’t look at him … How could I? I’ve just seen every part of him naked and let him do things to me; intimate things … Pleasurable things!For the first time in my life they didn’t feel wrong, yet I experience the most guilt and shame I’ve ever felt. It’s too much. My head feels like it’s going to self-implode, taking my body with it.The buzzer goes again, only this time longer and repetitive, someone making it clear they have no intention of going away. He thumps the door once more, making me jerk, as he storms away, cursing. Whoever is out there is persistent, and he knows they’re not going to just leave.I run to grab a robe, now that I know he’s gone. I’m vibrating a
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I hurriedly pick up the remains of my clothes from the floor and throw them in the bin. I leave his clothes folded on a chair in the room and discard the condom packet in the kitchen waste bin. I don’t know why I’m trying to hide this now, she’s already seen it, and I’m guessing by the raised voices, she’s making it clear.Like a guilty, dirty secret, I’m his mistress and she’s the wife showing up and catching us. I’m scurrying around trying to erase what I’ve done; I’m also trying not to listen at the door and my heart is doing some sort of “Cha Cha” as I rush in circles. I’m completely out of control, all traces of PA Emma banished, my palms are clammy and cold, and I feel physically sick.I creep back to my room and turn on the shower. I need to clean his smell off me, eradicate the memory of how he felt. I need to wipe away my shame and get back that cool calm PA who would know how to handle
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“When did she tell you?” I try and sit up unaided, swaying a little, but feeling less likely to keel over. Trying to figure out how long he has been seeing her.Did he sleep with me, behind her back?“A couple of days ago.” He sighs looking down at his lap.That explains his monumentally shitty mood for the past couple of days, and hints at just how unhappy he is about this.“What are you going to do? … Marry her?” my voice falters so full of anguish.Why do I sound so childlike? Oh, I don’t know, maybe because the thought of Jake marrying her is killing me.I’m hushed by the twisted frown he throws at me.Okay, maybe we don’t live in the nineteenth century anymore, but I’m sure Father Carrero will have something to say about a namesake being born out of wedlock. His father is a traditionalist after all.“No, I’m not going to ask her to marry me, because I knocked h
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I run about three blocks before I stop and let the heart wrenching pain overtake me. I cry like I did the night he left me on that boat, and I think I may actually die this time. If my lungs don’t self-implode, I think my heart might. The pain is unbearable and raw, and I’ve never willingly exposed myself to enduring it this way, except that night.I sit on a bench cradling my head between my knees and I think I may even throw up; this isn’t my life … My life is calm and easy and straightforward. My job, my apartment, my responsibilities. They all slot into place and I manage them all well. This isn’t really happening. I’m in a parallel universe, or I’m dreaming. I’ll wake at any minute and this will all have been one long, bad dream. Except I know that it’s not. Meeting Jake has slowly changed it all, he is too potent to be around, changing me, changing how I think and live, until I don’t feel like I am in control an
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