“What exactly did his mother do to him?” I slide my arm through his now that he’s got both hands on his phone and rest my head against his shoulder. Looking up at him with wide-eyed, inquisitive adoration.
“Let’s just say Daniel caught her in a lot of compromising positions from early in life with men who weren’t his father. She had time for affairs but never any time for her only kid or her actual husband. The boy has serious mommy issues that I don’t even think he understands, and he completely idolizes his father.”
“So that’s why he surrounds himself with endless porn stars and one-night stands?” I blink in surprise, this little insight into a guy I thought was just a jerk and a sex addict. Maybe he has as many issues as me.
“Daniel doesn’t trust women; he doesn’t have much respect for them either. He looks at them all the same way he looks at his mother. The guy needs therapy
I giggle as Jake finally releases me from his arms in the changing cubicle, shaking my head at him in disbelief. My face must match the color of the dress I’m trying to retrieve from the floor. His eyes dark and wicked, buttoning up his shirt with a huge grin on his face as I try my hardest to get dressed without being knocked into the narrow walls, it’s so cramped in here.I can’t believe he managed to get me naked and have sex without knocking the feeble walls down.“Was this your plan from the word go? Claiming to need me in the changing room to admire your shirt choices.” I dart up at him while trying to get my bra straps on untwisted, he drops his shirt and instead straightens the strap on my shoulder, reaching behind me to help straighten it. He answers with a wolfish grin, dimples on display.Why am I even surprised by this? I should have known the second his hand ran under my skirt as we walked to the changing a
“Over something like this, Emma, I’ll literally rip heads off.” He snaps at me, pure fury in those normally calm eyes and I lose my courage, his voice is venom. I flinch in fright as his hand grips my wrist harder. The inner fear of male aggression takes over, I reach up with my free hand and snatch back my underwear, hauling my hand free and shout at him impulsively.“You’ve a goddamn nerve! With the amount of conquests, you’ve had? … It was you! Jackass!” I snap and turn on my heel to storm away, tears instantly pricking my eyes. From our happy morning to this, I don’t even know how we got here. I feel like bawling.I should never play games with Jake; I learned a long time ago that it only ignites this side of him. Even before I was his, when I was just PA Emma, I saw this side of him when I tried to get a rise from him. Jake likes to be the on
Jake pushes the cream cannelloni into my mouth, almost choking me with the amount he’s picked up from the plate. I struggle to push him away, stifling a giggle but he tries to ram it in further, close to choking me. I lift my hand and push him off, taking half out of my mouth and dropping it on the napkin in front of me, attempting to chew what’s already there. He stuffs some into his own mouth, seemingly oblivious to what he’s done to me.“What is this deal you have with ramming food in my mouth?” I finally say, shoving his shoulder playfully. He leans around attempting another go at pushing more into my mouth, but I turn away. “Jake!” I scold, pushing his hand back, he shrugs redirecting it into his own mouth instead.“Feeding you is part of taking care of you.” He smiles but I only look at him with disbelief.“There’s feeding someone … You know like sexily in the movies? And then there&r
He’s going to see her; he’s going to stay away from New York and talk about his future with Marissa’s baby and I don’t want it to be happening.“Nora will come in and change the bed for you, bambino, she’ll make you dinner around five … Make sure you eat, okay?” He lingers over me, a look in his eye of reluctance. “I’ll be back before you know it … Don’t go to work tomorrow, stay here, and take some you time. I’ll call you, okay?”“Okay and okay.” I smile emptily, wrapping my arms around his neck one last time, pushing down all my inner upset before he slides up and waves. He grabs my foot at the end of the bed and strokes down my sole gently, causing me to flinch and giggle. He pauses, looking one more time as though he’s reluctant to leave then turns and goes. I think maybe he’s feeling it too, that trepidation at leaving me, at goi
“I just … I dreamt you died.” I break into a sob and there’s nothing but silence between us. I know she must feel awkward, she doesn’t know emotional Emma, I don’t think she’s seen her for a very long time. She’s no idea how much I’ve changed, what Jake has done to me or even that I’m with him at all. Last time we saw one another it ended so badly and she’s probably wondering what’s changed.“I’m fine, darling … I’m just bobbing along, you know … Getting on with things.” She sounds wary, she doesn’t know what to say, which helps me reel back in the tears and regain my equilibrium, back to the Emma she’s more able to deal with. My mother isn’t one to be overly emotional and she sounds uncomfortable at the evidence I am.“I think I might come home for a few days … With Jake.” I add, surprising even myself. Knowing her, she wo
My day is going to consist of sitting about here if I don’t plan something productive. I end up sat in Jake’s rarely used home office with my laptop and try to work through everything Margo has forwarded at my request. It seems taking that month away from this side of the business has made it so much harder for me to slot back into this life and I’m finding it less than satisfying.The time we’ve spent at the office, I barely made a dent and found every file ridiculously hard to focus on. My mind always wandering to the six-foot two hunk in the next room. I used to love working for, and with, Jake but now, looking back, I think it was more than just the job; it was him and being around him, even if back then I couldn’t admit it to myself. Now that he is mine and all I can focus on; I’m finding returning to PA mode more than difficult.Staying home today hadn’t only been because Jake insisted, I just didn’t want to go in a
It’s starting to rain, nothing heavy just gentle rivulets of water running down the vast windows and it’s almost mesmerizing highlight the fact I’m tired. Last night it was hard enough to fall asleep but waking with my nightmare and then waking early has taken its toll on me. Lately I have been feeling the effects of living with someone who rarely sleeps. He’s up early and waking me with him or keeping me awake late into the night with sex or talking. I need to start being firmer with him, this fatigue that’s almost daily right now is a little annoying and making me more emotional.There’s a soft knock on the door and Rosalie comes in as I turn to face her, still tucked up in Jake’s oversized chair.“That’s me heading off, Emma, I’ve a doctor’s appointment, Margo said I could leave early.” She smiles widely at me, hovering by the door.“Okay, Rosalie, thank you … Just go, I&rsqu
“What I’m going to do to you as soon as we get home.” He threatens seductively, eyes heavy and dark, voice husky. Sending shivers through me, losing all thoughts of the nearby driver. He leans in, sinking another kiss on me, letting me down on my feet so his hands can slide down over my back and butt hungrily. He hooks me just under the curve of my ass and pulls me up against his groin, the urge to wrap my legs around him immediately pushed aside as I catch Jefferson clear his throat awkwardly. Jake thankfully releases me, turning me so I face the door and wraps his arms around my shoulders, his face against my cheek, tilting my head to the side. He nibbles my neck and ear softly, his breath warming my skin, sending a thousand hot tingles through me. My body aching to be alone with him.When the elevator comes to the ground floor, he pulls me around and picks me up again with a wink. He likes this game, he likes to manhandle me, carry me around like a Neande
The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le