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2024-10-29 19:42:56It’s starting to rain, nothing heavy just gentle rivulets of water running down the vast windows and it’s almost mesmerizing highlight the fact I’m tired. Last night it was hard enough to fall asleep but waking with my nightmare and then waking early has taken its toll on me. Lately I have been feeling the effects of living with someone who rarely sleeps. He’s up early and waking me with him or keeping me awake late into the night with sex or talking. I need to start being firmer with him, this fatigue that’s almost daily right now is a little annoying and making me more emotional.
There’s a soft knock on the door and Rosalie comes in as I turn to face her, still tucked up in Jake’s oversized chair.
“That’s me heading off, Emma, I’ve a doctor’s appointment, Margo said I could leave early.” She smiles widely at me, hovering by the door.
“Okay, Rosalie, thank you … Just go, I&rsqu
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“What I’m going to do to you as soon as we get home.” He threatens seductively, eyes heavy and dark, voice husky. Sending shivers through me, losing all thoughts of the nearby driver. He leans in, sinking another kiss on me, letting me down on my feet so his hands can slide down over my back and butt hungrily. He hooks me just under the curve of my ass and pulls me up against his groin, the urge to wrap my legs around him immediately pushed aside as I catch Jefferson clear his throat awkwardly. Jake thankfully releases me, turning me so I face the door and wraps his arms around my shoulders, his face against my cheek, tilting my head to the side. He nibbles my neck and ear softly, his breath warming my skin, sending a thousand hot tingles through me. My body aching to be alone with him.When the elevator comes to the ground floor, he pulls me around and picks me up again with a wink. He likes this game, he likes to manhandle me, carry me around like a Neande
The Carrero Effect 148
“Maybe I’ll just take a little nap.” I sigh, watching evilly as his eyes snap open and focus on me intently.Holy crap, I’ve never seen him look so primal.“Fuck that shit.” He sounds enraged, bends, grabbing me under my arms and yanks me up, throwing me on the seat onto my back. I let out a squeal. Within seconds he’s on top of me, pulling up my dress and ripping my pants off. Another lost pair of underwear at the hands of Carrero. There’s no foreplay, no soft kisses or teasing, he’s just inside me within seconds, his hunger pushing all traces of sanity away and he’s grinding into me with unleashed fever. I writhe and arch under him, burning with how this feels, my head meeting the door with aggression as he rams into me again, using his feet against the other side to lever his thrusts into me.I like it, I like th
The Carrero Effect 149
Jake moves off me and flops down on his back, his skin damp with perspiration much like mine. There’s a subtle smell of male sweat which only turns me on more, proof of his exertion in the last few hours erupting in multiple orgasms.“Told you the second time would be slow.” He grins at me but I’m too tired to move. I feel like I’ve just run a marathon. My breathing is labored and my body tingling and heavy. I could sleep for a week. The clock on the bedside tells me it’s almost 5.00 a.m. and we’ve been awake since we got home just before two.“We will never get up for work.” I laugh. If I fall asleep now, I won’t get up for hours. He’s exhausted me again, despite my long office nap.“That’s okay, because we’re not going.” He points out, his eyes coming to rest on mine.“Why?” This slacking off work is getting to be a bad habit with him lately, I’m
The Carrero Effect 150
“Come on, miele … We’re going to be late.” Jake is harassing me from outside the bathroom door. It’s been a day of lazing in bed, food, and movies, but now he’s rushing me to get dressed up to meet friends for his brother’s birthday. The plan is to all meet up at a nightclub called Top of the Standard. Apparently one of the most exclusive clubs you can find in New York city. It didn’t take much for Jake to swing entry for two dozen of Arrick’s friends and closest family members.“Well, seeing as you gave me zero warning, I’m doing the best I can.” I pout, finally emerging in a black, strapless cocktail dress that is tight and short, gold high heels, and a gold clutch, I’ve made up my face with nude lips and a smoky dark eye shadow that Leila showed me a few weeks back on the boat. My hair is its usual loose, tousled waves in a side parting.“Wow, si è assolutamente
The Carrero Effect 151
“What? He knew you would be here though?” I’m beyond perplexed, seems I have given him more due than he deserves.“Exactly! Fuck him. Fuck men.” She slides up as Jake approaches with two pink cocktails oozing with sparkly decorations. Leila reaches up and kisses him on the cheek as he slides one into her hand and then dips down and puts mine on the table. He slides in beside me and drapes an arm around the back of my chair as Leila stands, watching us and downing half the drink in one go. I think she’s deliberately turning her back on the scene of Hunter and his date dancing nearby. It’s pretty obvious they are hooking up tonight.I could literally kick him in the face right now.“I’ll be back in a bit.” She smiles and takes off toward the far side of the club with drink in hand and I sense Jake frowning at me.“Is she okay?” I can tell by the look in his eye he really means,
The Carrero Effect 152
He drinks three shots to my one for a couple of rounds until I protest, a lot. He’s being evasive and as much as I try to bring up the mysterious Ben, he just blanks it completely. I’m already drunk and anymore I’ll be unable to walk at all. Jake switches to vodka on the rocks and hands me a fruity cocktail which I leave on the bar for fear of passing out. He’s avoiding conversation, so I let the subject lie, trying to get glimpses of Leila’s brother when Jake’s not looking at me to figure out who the heck he is.Daniel appears and swings an arm around Jake’s neck from behind, whispering something close to his ear that makes Jake frown. He turns his back on me in Daniel’s hold and the two of them lower heads to one another and carry on the conversation in hushed tones. They look strangely cute yet totally male in that hunched way and even though he’s being uncharacteristically weird, I try to ignore it.“Dance
The Carrero Effect 153
I follow the direction of his hateful gaze and see Jake standing about twenty feet from him. He has another few men in front of him, talking to him. He looks completely unscathed, less agitated than Ben and requiring a lot less force to keep him still, not a hint of anything wrong with his attire at all. I let go of Leila and run for him, pushing in between him and the man shielding him back with a hand and throw myself around him. The tears coming from nowhere. He seems to jolt back to reality at my touch, and instantly relaxes, tension I hadn’t seen in his face seeping from his rigid body. His hands come to my face and pulls my chin up to bring our eyes to one another.“Hey … Don’t cry.” He soothes, the furrow on his brow deepening and showing remorse instead of anger. “Bambino, hey … Stop now.” His arms come around me completely, his face and mouth come into my neck, surrounding me wholly. He squeezes the lif
The Carrero Effect 154
“Look, stop worrying … Jake’s a trained kick boxer, he spent half his life fighting for fun, he’ll be fine. Ben is no opponent.” He shrugs, completely unphased.I can do nothing but blink at him. So much like his brother but not, the fairer hair thing totally threw me and hazel eyes. Also, the fact that not once that he’s touched me have I felt any repulsion or fear. I only felt what I do when Leila or Sarah touch me. Quiet trust for someone who’s almost family. This is so new to me I don’t even know how to process it.“Jake will follow as soon as he gets my message.” He grins at me. “He’s got it bad with you. You’ll see.”I relax back into my chair and close my eyes, trying not to picture Jake sprawling in the street with Ben Huntsberger. Trying not to picture that smug face as he moved in to kiss m
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The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
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The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
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The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
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I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
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“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
The Carrero Effect 264
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
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I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
