CHAPTER 5: The Escalation

Starting with Reva and Rahul. On the 14th of September, he finally told her,

and that's where their friendship got off track. I still remember what Reva's face was while saying, "WHAT? I didn't consider you more than a friend EVER, you were my best friend and I love you ONLY as a friend and I have no feelings for you otherwise".After hearing this, Rahul was completely shattered which was expected since I had previously conveyed my worries of her already being in a relationship and why would she choose him over Prathu without any solid reason. Because of this, the complications increased in the whole group and I knew something like that could happen because, for him to move on from Reva, he needed to stay away from her. But that was near impossible because their friend circle/group was the same and that's where the trouble began.

The next couple of days were pretty hard for Rahul because he needed to adjust to the fact that he can't be Reva. At first, he thought that the dent in their friendship was temporary and it will all be okay and he decided to behave normally again with Reva because he really cared for her and that friendship. He didn't hate Prathu nor was he angry with him as such, he only believed that keeping in mind the type of girl Reva was, she could get a much better person than Prathu and I mean, it was his thinking nobody could alter that. No matter how much we all were against it, at the end of the day it was Reva's choice and no one, I repeat no one could ever force her to choose anyone. It's her decision and she was capable enough to make it. While the rest of us were busy in our lives like I was busy in that ignoring incident while Akash was busy with class dynamics, we didn't pay a lot of attention towards him but he was breaking day by day, and somebody needed to take care of him, so Akash and Shiv decided to jump in along with Piyush to take care of him and that was a really good decision I suppose as I was not really that close with him.

After a few days when Rahul told Reva and after the ignoring incident, it was my turn to gain his trust and also to distract his mind from Reva for a little bit. I decided to tell him what I feel about Alizeh. So, I told him, at first he didn't believe me and even made fun of me but when I told him how much I liked her, he had to believe me. He often told me that nothing could happen between you two, because she had a boyfriend and I just told him off by saying that I also didn't want anything to happen. I only want this friendship to stay and I want her to be my best friend and that's it, nothing more or less because I also knew that it doesn't much I liked her nothing could have happened between us. Anyways I often told jokingly to Rahul that "only he and Priyank could do something for me, as they were her brothers and my good friends, so only they could do something(laughing)". Before my birthday I decided to tell about the same Piyush, Shanaya, and Akash, they also didn't believe me, although Akash did Piyush and Shanaya didn't and they often made fun of me. But Shanaya always told me one thing, although she was Kabir's sister and would never do anything unfair to him, that why would you like someone who was committed and told nothing was possible between you two and she was happy with Kabir, but she also told me that so what that you can't be with her at least you can be her good friend and that's what I only wanted in the first place.

We started doing something a few days before my birthday, that was all of us started to sit in front of G2, although it started because of Shiv(who was already in a long-distance relationship) stalking non-b-tech(a girl he liked, and we used to tease him with name) but eventually everyone developed a reason to sit there in the first place. Mine was obviously Alizeh, Rahul's was getting to spend some time with Reva, Akash's was Chutki as just he wanted to bond over with her, while Piyush, Shanaya, Nikhil, and Sahil(yeah the new guy/friend, Akash's friend but someone was really fun to be with already knew Alizeh, Rahul and Nikhil, he was the same guy I used to meet in the library every day) tagged along wherever we went and that was really fun because we really enjoyed that with all of us just sitting there and enjoying.

That was the time I got to talk to Alizeh and know her more and Kabir as well and even they got to know us a little better and both of them started to bond with the whole group and that was something very good happening at that time and really enjoyed it. Also, something awkwardly amazing happened on I think 26th of September, i.e., when both we went back to normal after the ignoring incident, she asked me to come and sit with her and that was really something building up in the first place although it was for just one day I knew that there was no going back from it and I officially started to sit with Alizeh and Ishita which means now I was a member of Kitty gang(laughing), just getting to sit with Alizeh and know her more, that was the best feeling ever.

I still remember just a day before my birthday, we were all sitting in front of G2 and Alizeh suddenly asked me that "Are you ready for your birthday bombs tonight?", first of all I didn't expect her to remember my birthday and seeing her that excited for my birthday really made me someone who was really very special in her life. I still remember she telling Priyank that "just see if he does not get all beaten up, just see this and take care" and asking Kabir that "you will also go na to give him birthday bombs?", this was really overwhelming me and just brought a smile over to my face. Just like that, it was 30th September my birthday a lot of people came to give me birthday bombs probably more than I expected but all I needed to hear "Happy Birthday" from just that one person, and that was Alizeh.

But on this birthday something awkward happened that was no one called me not even my family, I only got two calls one from Ishita and the other from Kabir(surprising AF no?) but I really appreciated both the calls and no call from Alizeh and all this disappointed me a lot but I appreciated everyone who called me. But Alizeh was the first one to message me on my birthday exactly at 12am, her message said "Happy Birthdayyyy!!!!! I'll call you after you get all your birthday bombs" and that was something amazing at least she remembered it and that was really very sweet for me and that night I chatted with her till 2.30 or 3 am, that was the first time we both talked to each other for so long and I loved every bit of it.

Within a few days, our conversation became more and more mature, I still remember on 2nd of October, that was the day when we both had to leave for home for the Dusshera holidays, a day before we talked to each other for almost 3 am because she had to leave at 4 am, so she could not sleep, and she talked to me, although there must have been other people to whom she talked to but I felt that she wanted to talk to me and all I could have done was to talk to her and support her until she leaves. Our conversation ended with me saying to her that "Take Care, Have a Safe Journey, Tell Kabir to take care of you, I know he will and message me after reaching home and travel safe!" And that was the second time I talked to her late till night. The next day it was my turn to go home, but as soon as I woke up there was Alizeh's message, "I reached, I am in the car with Nani and I am going home", first of all, I was like that something strangely amazing happened, that instead of messaging me after reaching home, she messaged me as soon as she sat in the car and that's what was more surprising, She even messaged me after reaching home and also that "Take care, have a safe flight and remember to message me after you reach home!", maybe my worth in her life was increasing day by day and I really felt special and I think that's where our friendship starting changing again with our bond becoming stronger and stronger and also a lot happened during the holidays which proved that now we were officially in the category of "Buddies".

The holidays started, frankly speaking, I didn't expect her to talk to me that much during the holidays because she had a lot of people to talk to like Kabir, Priyank, her family, her best friend Dhwani and a lot more people and I was no one in her life at that time, I mean why would she wanna talk to me?, with that I made myself understood my worth in her life and expected less to none conversation from her during the holidays, but all of this was a result of my overthinking and exactly the opposite happened of what I thought. Our conversation was not like it used to about studies and general stuff, we now talked to each other like any good friends would do, and this time around we were getting to know each other, about our families, what we like, what we don't and it was really something very amazing and special.

So, now it was my turn to get to know her better and I asked her about her family, but I also added. "there is no need to tell me if you aren't comfortable." and even apologized to her if she felt that I have crossed the line by asking her about the same since we were not that close to each other to know about each other's families. But I needed to ask her that because it was high time that I get to know her better and understand how she was from deep inside. Her reply was something really amazing, "Hey idiot, just chill please, if I am not comfortable na I will tell you, and I don't even talk to people with whom I am not comfortable with and also, you didn't cross any sort of line so just relax please". This was so overwhelming for me because this was the first time someone trusted me so much and was really comfortable sharing their life story with me and I was really happy about it. So she told me all about her family, she told me that "My parents are divorced, and I stay with my Nana and Nani since fifth grade, they are more like my parents", she even told me "I love my mother very much and I would do whatever it takes to help and support my mom to stay strong and never let anyone do anything wrong with my family. Also, I always have, always will be there for my family, especially my mom, and all of this had made me very strong. And that is why I can now handle a lot of things with ease and have I mentioned how much I love my family?", she ended with a light chuckle. After hearing all of this there was only one thing I felt "How much proud I am of the girl that she had become, so mature yet so amazing and it's not easy to face such hardship in life but she did it, she made it through all her hardships and made herself so strong that absolutely nothing could break her, and that's what brought a smile to my face".Amidst all these feelings we continued our conversation.

With our conversation becoming deeper and deeper as we were getting to know each other, something strange yet amazing happened. One day during the holidays out of no context she messaged me "Please help me.", I said okay tell me about it, and she said, "Kabir is in the shower, at home hence cannot reply. I am sending you pictures of two tops, as I came for shopping, please help me decide". First of all, I was like okay, " Is that supposed to happen?" Maybe I didn't know for sure, anyway whatever I thought, I had to help her, I mean how could I not. Anyways she only asked me to choose a top for her. So she sent me a photo, it had one greyish blue top and another one was an orange top, and she asked me "Which one should I buy? Which one is better?", I told her my choice which was the grey one and just out of curiosity I asked her what was her choice as I wanted to know if both of ours choice matched or not and she told me that it was same. Although all of it would have seemed very much normal to anyone including me, who knew that it was the start of something more beautiful. So, the holidays ended and we talked a lot, like a lot as we were getting to know each other more and more, both of us seemed to take every step forward to make this bond last for a lifetime.

I came back to college and this time with a lot of satisfaction because everything went just the opposite of what I thought and that's what or should I say "She" brought a smile to my face. I don't know what was happening to me, the things were not in my control now, no matter how much I decided to stay away from it, the deeper I went into it, maybe "what I felt about her was not my fondness or infatuation for her, maybe it was too much liking or something, I guess I didn't know but I knew one thing for sure that I was falling for her, that I was beginning to love her", maybe I shouldn't have but sometimes we don't have control over our feelings, and they make us do all sort of madness just to make or see that one special person happy and I think that's what was happening with me.

So now I began to spend time with her, talked to her not only on text but also in person, the more I got to know her the more I fell for her, although no matter how much I began to like her I didn't do anything stupid, anything absurd or anything out of limits because firstly I was not in that position to do so and secondly who am I to govern her life. She could do absolutely whatever she wanted to do and absolutely no one can stop her, also I was not a pervert so why would I do anything stupid, pfft. I just wanted this friendship to stay lifelong and all I ever wanted was her happiness and she was happy with Kabir, so what problem could I have had.No matter how much time I spent with her, be it in the class or outside the class, the smile never left my face and I guess not her's either, this showed me that how much happy I was when I was with her and clearly she and I have made a connection. It's been very difficult in my life to make that sort of connection with anybody but for the first time I made that connection with her and leaving everything aside I was proud of it.

Now it was time for my birthday treat, that was on the 11th of October, a day before

all of us were geared up but maybe I was the least excited for my birthday party because I often used to feel lonely, even though a lot of people were around me, maybe something was off about me but there comes the rescuer "Alizeh". She helped me to cheer up, I told her that "my birthday is like a normal day to me" and she just told me to shut up and said "How can it be a normal day? You just see we will enjoy ourselves a lot and after you cut your cake, I will decorate your face with that cake and not only just me, I will take the help of Shanaya and Reva too. Also, listen you idiot we will enjoy it a lot you don't worry".Her words were like a stress reliever for me, always have been and she knows how to use them to cheer me up. But the stress was not only about being lonely but also about how to invite and who not. The list was prepared but all the confusion was about only a single name, that was Kabir. All of the people from whom I took suggestions told me that as you don't know him that much, you shouldn't call him but ultimately it's your choice. Finally, I decided to call him because of Alizeh as she would have been a little more happy and comfortable, and also that I would get to bond with him a little more.

So, the party started and all of them came, but something unusual happened, there was something unusual about the seating arrangement. All of them were planned in such a way that the seat next to Alizeh will be kept empty and the rest all would be occupied so that I could sit there and just enjoy my party, Friends..huh?. They did what they thought was right and what could have made me happy. I couldn't thank them then but I want to thank them now because I really loved it. Suddenly, during the dinner, Alizeh and Kabir went away without even informing me, just like that. I was a little shocked and frustrated, I mean how can they leave the party and go away, she promised me that we would enjoy ourselves, how could she and nobody even replied to me about where they went and didn't even bother about it. After some time they came back, but with a cake. I was really surprised and was all smiles after it. That time I literally wanted to go and hug Alizeh tightly and thank her a lot, but I couldn't go, I wasn't able to because to hug her, I needed a lot of strength and courage, maybe I didn't have it then. I was scared even to touch her. How in the world was I expected to just go and hug her and also I thought maybe she wouldn't be comfortable. All these thoughts pushed me back and I just said "Thank you". 

So, now it was my time to cut the cake, so I cut a slice of cake and took it to the person who made all of this possible which you might already have guessed. "Alizeh". And I fed her the first bite from that slice. After this, as was planned by Alizeh, she took the cake and decorated my whole face along with the other girls. After the cake cutting, I ate the dinner with Priyank while Alizeh and Kabir sat there at the table with us and waited for me to finish my dinner, I mean how good that behavior was on their part and I really liked the bond and the friendship in the making. So with that and some pictures, my party ended, but I couldn't get any pictures with her because she went away, but I thanked Alizeh so much for the birthday cake. She asked me only one thing "Do you consider me your friend?", I said, of course, then she said "Then it was my duty as your friend to do that and it was my choice so need to thank me and also you didn't cut the cake in front of me so I had to bring the cake, just relax", this gesture of friendship from her side really made me owe her one and also overwhelmed me.

After my birthday party, I saw Alizeh again in front of G2, she looked literally very upset and frustrated, and obviously, I could not see her this way so I asked her that "Is everything alright? Because your face said something else", and she told me that "Yes, it is. Why, was I not looking alright to you?" And I told her the same that "She was looking upset and kind of frustrated". And then she told me that maybe it was because she was very tired or maybe because of her personal problems, and I decided not to interfere much. That was the first time she shared things with me, which proved to me that there was more to this bond. After my birthday, things just got a lot more surprising for me. We both were getting more and more close to each other, she started to share everything with me, like all of it.

She started to talk to me about her problems, both family and relationship related. I often tried to calm her down, support her, and always tried to help her by suggesting to her some ways to tackle such situations and also made her realize that "All of this was temporary in life, focus on what's important for you in life, there was no need for you to get affected by anyone or whatever they say, just stay calm and think about those things which are permanent in life, and also there was no need to fight with Kabir over something silly because, in the long run, all these fights will not matter, what matters is how much he loved you and that's what makes your relationship so strong. So, just focus on that".I also added that "You can talk to me about all of this stuff and your problems, even if I could do nothing, you know that I will support you and will never judge you for whatever you do, and I'm always here for you and you can count on me and I will never disappoint you".She thanked me for being there and was really happy and satisfied after she talked to me and that was really good because at least I was able to change her mood and make her feel relaxed.

So, just like this, it was the 18th of October and it was time for our college's yearly fest ONEIROS, all of us very excited and thrilled about it. I can surely say that it was the best time I had in my college so far, as it was filled with a lot of excitement, fun, and happiness. With all of the things happening with me, my equation with everybody was changing as all of us growing closer to each other. With ONEIROS I realized that I have made so many friends and I was really happy about it. Speaking of relationships, Shanaya and I now properly shared a brother-sister bond which was not there before, but my birthday helped me a lot to build up this bond. Coming back to ONEIROS, the first day was a fashion show and comedy night, I was not in the mood to go for it but my friends forced me to. Alizeh even asked me to go with her and Kabir and obviously I said no and told her that they both should go I'll join later as I had to rest because first of all, it would be awkward for me to go with a couple as it will turn me into a third wheel of course and secondly why should I interfere between them, just let them enjoy, have fun and be happy, So she said, "If you were free then tell me, I mean if you didn't have your fest duty", I told her "I did not have any duty, why?" then she said "So that we can meet, you idiot", with that our conversation ended. 

So, I went there with my friends and not with both of them, as soon as we reached there and settled at our places, I saw Alizeh, I mean how beautiful was she looking in that dress, she looked absolutely stunning and beautiful, but what more could I have done. I just sat there and enjoyed myself with all of my friends but I never lost her sight, I still remember her standing near the stage with Kabir and Priyank and enjoying herself, and not even for a moment I lost her from my sight even though I was sitting at a very long distance from her but then the function ended and we were all on our way to get back to the hostel and I thought that I would not get to meet Alizeh today but as it is said,  "Whatever has to happen will happen". Suddenly Priyank appeared and told me to let's go and meet Alizeh and Kabir, so we both went there. All of us just sat and talked to each other with Alizeh again and again saying, "Let's just go and take pictures!" And Kabir just denied her again and again as he was tired, but then Alizeh turned to me and asked me "Will you come with me and take pictures?" And I joking just turned the context of the conversation to something else. I didn't know what it was but only for the slightest second I thought "Was she asking me to take pictures with her? I didn't know", I ignored that thought and all of us just went to the hostel. Kabir wanted to change so he went to his room with me and Alizeh standing on the hostel gate just talking about all things in general, I jokingly told her that I don't use to eat lunch or dinner and that was the reason I had become so much slim now and she told me that "Yes, I know that, Priyank told me about it all, but I didn't use to care back then about it as I didn't know you", and I told her that "You didn't care now also", Surprisingly she moved back quite a few steps, folded her hands across and stood in an angry yet a very cute way and told me "Shut up you idiot, who told you that?, at that time I didn't know you but now I do and yes I care now!", this was surprising yet satisfying for me and I told her that "Please come back to your place, I will not come there to convince you and also I am not good at it" and she came back to the same place.

Then I went for dinner, but at night as we were already talking on texts at that time, I asked her that "Should I tell you something?", She said of course and I told her "Thank you, just because I wanted to tell you that, thanks for being my friend, thanks for listening to me and thanks for understanding me, because I have made very few friends in my life and I share very less, so thank you for being that person with whom I can share almost anything and thank you for supporting me!".She told me that "You were always there for me and it was my duty to be there for you and also don't you consider me your friend or what? Then no need for thanking me, that's what good friends do, support each other and thank you too for being there for me!", all of this was very overwhelming yet satisfying. I told her that "Talking to you makes me relaxed!" And she said "I am glad to hear this and same for me by the way, also should I tell you something?", I told okay and then she said "Now toh I don't even talk to people whom I don't care about" and I told her that "it feels good to hear that you care about me!", with these texts our conversation ended that day.

Holidays started again, this time for Diwali and we had a 10-day break, but this time all of us decided to stay a little longer decided to go home for 2-3 days, so all of us stayed back at the hostel with Piyush, Nikhil, Sahil, Shanaya, Aarush, Alex, and Sam went home. Amidst all the good that was happening to me, Rahul's condition worsened in that period. All of the people left him just like that, with no one to support him or take care of him. I am sure they all have had reasons in their mind, maybe they got frustrated or irritated, but I know one thing, that they left him when he needed them the most. What could I have done, I had to step in to take care of him. With his roommate gone home, I shifted to his room for a couple of days just so that he wasn't all alone and always had somebody to talk to and take care of him. He was literally going mad over Reva, taking anxiety pills, waking up in the middle of the night and just shouting Reva's name, not being able to sleep various nights, and a lot more. I tried, I really tried a lot to handle him and to make him understand to let go of things, but he was invested in Reva a lot. He listened to me but I also needed some support because he could not be handled by a single person, so I decided to tell Alizeh about his condition.

Surprisingly, she knew all about it since Rahul told her. She told me that "I have already tried a lot to make him understand", but I told her "Then give it one more chance, just help me out and maybe together we can make him better". So, with Alizeh by my side I got the strength to handle Rahul as we both needed him to get better. I took her help a lot, we both tried to make him understand and tried to give him support and lifted his morale. I even sent him to a psychiatrist on the advice of Alizeh because he literally needed a professional to make him understand all the things and all the harm he was doing to himself, and I guess it worked a little. So we fought the battle together, and I am proud at least we could make him a little better and that's what was more important.

This not only was helpful for Rahul but also proved to be a merit for my friendship with Rahul as well as that of Alizeh, as I became more attached and close to both of them. I still remember that day when all of us(Me, Alizeh, Priyank, and Kabir) went to HK( Highway King) just to have dinner. Actually, something else happened that afternoon, Alizeh and I decided that Rahul should have a talk with Alizeh as she was willing to give it a chance to make him understand, to convince him, and to hear out his problems, but surprisingly she asked me to meet her after she was done with Rahul's problems, to hear out what I had to say about it and to discuss my problems as well. So after she was done with Rahul, I went there and Rahul told me jokingly        " There was nothing to tell her, she already knew all of it, you told her everything na? No worries it's completely okay I trust you guys and thank you both for hearing me out and supporting me!", and then it was my turn. We hardly sat for about 5 minutes and started to talk, when I changed the topic, just shifting the focus back to Rahul and talking about him, maybe I wasn't ready to discuss myself with her. Then Priyank came and all of us started to have fun again.

That evening all of us planned to go to HK to eat dinner but some of them wanted to drink, so we told them to just leave earlier and we would catch up. So, I went there along with Alizeh and Kabir, while Rahul, Akash, Shiv, and Priyank waited for us there. The three of them drank while the rest of us had dinner, and after dinner, it was time for pictures, because Alizeh wanted it so we had it. Although I didn't get a picture alone with her at least I got a few with her, while sitting on that swing and enjoying ourselves and with Kabir too, while Priyank clicked all of those pictures. She enjoyed it a lot, I have never seen her like this, She was just like a kid or something, enjoying herself on the slides, swinging on swings, and even talking to the rabbits out there (laughing), how amazing yet mad she was(gasping) maybe it was because "She was there with the three closest men of her life and was very comfortable with all three of us, due to which she decided to be herself, the real Alizeh who enjoys absolutely not caring about anything else, just stays positive and happy all the time", and I really loved to see that side of her. After that, they both(Kabir and Alizeh) went away while the rest of us played cards and enjoyed and made fun of Shiv as he was drunk and we really enjoyed that time.

Every night we used to chat with each other on texts. It became a sort of routine or something and I think so both of us really loved that. That night also after coming back from HK, we were chatting on texts, I told her that "I might not be able to show any of it, but that does not change the fact that I care about you and no one can change it. Everyone has their own way of showing it, and if the person whom I care about knows that I care for him or her, that is more than enough for me because there is no need for me to show it publicly or to prove to anybody, as when the times comes all of them can see how much I care about them", and what she said was very lovely, "Yes, I know that you care for me, and you said absolutely true, there is no need to prove to anybody because I know na you care about and that enough and thank you for all that and I care about you too, do you understand idiot?", and that night our conversation ended. 

The next day was pretty hard as it was my turn to go home while the rest of them still had time, it was very sweet for all of them to come to the gate to see me off, especially for Alizeh and Kabir. It was really lovely having both of them on the hostel gate with me, and thanks to Alizeh for especially coming just to see me off. I just wanted to hug her and just see her off although she was more than comfortable but  I wasn't, and I couldn't hug her no matter how much I wanted to, I could not gain the strength to do that so I just shook hands with her and went away. But on my way home, we chatted for almost half of my way, and I asked her "Should I tell you something? Maybe It might sound cheesy to you". She said go ahead, so I told her "You were looking absolutely beautiful and stunning in that kurta when you came to see me off" and she said " Thenk(she used to use thenks instead of thanks for the people close to her) you from the bottom of my heart and idiot, this was not cringy at all, if you want to praise me then do it fully, don't hold back( with a laughing emoji)" and with that, I reached home.

At home, we both got busy with the festival but both of us never stopped sending texts to each other. Then the day of Diwali came, and so came her message which said "Happy Diwali!", with all the strength I had, I picked up the phone and called Alizeh and wished her "Happy Diwali Alizeh! And also wish the same to mummy, Nana, Nani, Mama, Mami, and Alice, and enjoy a lot!", she wished me the same and I hung up the call. But I had written something for her, some sort of happy Diwali message which said "HAPPY DIWALI Alizeh!, Alizeh yaar, you are literally awesome! Although we didn't know each other in the first year back then also I had immense respect for you but now after knowing you this respect has grown manifold. You genuinely help a lot! Sessionals are coming yaar, please me in that(laughing). Thank you so much for being there for me always and if I had done anything wrong, just forgive me please! May God bless you with all the success in your life, and most importantly just stay happy and I will be there for you always. Just enjoy! Best wishes, Varun" and I sent it to her. She replied with "Thenkss, this is so sweet, I almost cried" and I told her "Sometimes it good to cry, so I give you my permission to cry(laughing)" and then her message came which said "You are also very good, you must know that. Just stay happy always and just share with me anything you want. I will also be there for you and stopping thinking about others and start thinking about yourself idiot!". 

With those sweet texts, we chatted during the holidays and the holidays ended and we were back at the hostel, all geared up and started working hard for sessionals. I still remember one day just before the COA paper we were all sitting and studying and I was explaining to both Alizeh and Kabir something about some topic and Alizeh excitedly and weirdly told me "Just look towards me for just this one topic( I don't remember the name of the topic) during the exam and after that if you want just don't look at me forever in your life" and this left me completely shocked. Although I knew she said all of this jokingly but all those words hurt me a lot and I decided to clarify it to her that later that day. She told me the same thing "I said all of it jokingly and it is really good that you clarified because most people don't do that and they just assume, so thank you for doing that, and I glad you did that" and I told her that "Although I knew you said it jokingly, I usually don't keep things in my mind, I tend to clarify them especially with the people I care about a lot and that's why I did that" and she said "Thank you an idiot for doing that! And I am sorry if you felt hurt, it was not my intention" and I said " I just wanted to clarify because I would never want to hurt you and I am sure you wouldn't want that either" and I then changed the topic because it was getting a bit emotional, and I made her laugh a little bit.

So with that, it was the 6th of November, that day when the sessional ended. That day had a lot is written all over it many amazing bonds were formed that day, while a few of them broke too, and also, for me, that day was the start of something BEAUTIFUL and WORSE at the same time because after that day THINGS WERE NEVER THE SAME AGAIN.

If I had to describe Alizeh in one word it would be "Trouble( a beautiful one)".She was a little unusual, a little crazy, changed her mind a lot but she was always in love with her family and maybe with herself a little more but loved her mom the most. The most unusual thing about her was that she loved her hair the most, maybe me too. She was like a firecracker, if she is in your life, it will always be filled with light and happiness and if she's not you might face darker days ahead. My friends warned me that "To love a girl like her is like free-falling because no one knows or has any idea about where you will land and in how many pieces".But, no one warned me that despite all the suffering in love, you're are ready to do it again, to give it yet another chance. So I was ready to give it a shot, to love someone unconditionally despite she couldn't be yours but at least I would've had something to hold on to, to make myself happy. Although God gave me many signs not to do it maybe I was too obsessed with Alizeh to even notice those signs. Alizeh was like that melody which if you'll hear once will never get out of your head throughout your life(Lag Ja Gale playing in my head right now one of her favorite songs).