After the whole drunk texting incident, things were not really the same. I was embarrassed for what I did, and for that, I apologized to Alizeh many times that day. I know she wasn't going to talk to me but I wasn't going to force her either. She changed I guess, she changed a lot. From her behavior it was quite understood that she doesn't want to talk to me or even see my face, I guess maybe I started to irritate her or my presence made her feel disgusted. I still don't know what made her feel that way for me but I know for sure that I hadn't done anything which made her feel that way me. And for the drunk texting incident, she did the same with me when she was drunk so I guess we were both even now.The next morning after apologizing to her I told her "I am having a hangover. Do you know I vomited 15-16 times last night", and her reply was something I didn't expect. She said "WTF, Why do you drink so much if you can't handle it", she knew it was the first time I got drunk, she knew
It has been 18 months since I last saw her or even heard her voice. And yet, I still miss her. For whatever reason it is, I still love her just as much as I have always loved her. In my mind, every day passes by as if I should hate her more and more for whatever she did to me, but I don't hate her, and I don't think I ever could if I wanted to. I just hate all the hurt that she put me through, and I blame myself for letting her, yet my love for her never dies, and I guess this is what true love is.Even though I try to remember how she looked, her face, the dresses she wore, and her voice, I can only recall small bits and pieces. It seems I'm forgetting her, but I still remember all our happy moments despite all that has happened to us. I still remember everything about her, her smile, her endless laughs, her pretty face, her blushing, her relaxing expression after seeing me, her hugging me, her voice in the morning, her holding my hands and not letting me go, her friendship, her love
My story begins on23rd July 2018..on the first day of my collegeManipal University Jaipur. I,Varun Kapoor, 18 years oldhave always been a shy person, someone who doesn't have much interest in interacting with new people, that too from different parts of the country. I've always asked myself-"Why should I even bother anyone with my nonsense conversations?". Basically, I am someone who tries not to pry in anyone's life or invade their personal space by disturbing them or should I say that I was foreign to the concept of a world consisting of a bunch of strangers because I have never been out of my comfort zone before. And since this was my first time in this new world, that hesitation was natural, I guess. To sum it up in layman's language-I was an introvertand I accept it.
And just like that, my college life began. And let me tell you, however easy it may sound, it wasnot. It was full of obstacles, hurdles, and adventures all the way,talk about dramatic, huh?. This was the first time I was on my own and wasactuallyenjoying it. People often say that if you are away from your home, in an entirely new place, you tend to take a long time adjusting there but that was not the case with me. I felt different in this environment, a good kind ofdifferentand it was enough to bring me out of my comfort zone and adjust to this new atmosphere, and honestly speaking I really enjoyed it.This college was different than what I expected it to be- full of freshness excitement and a whole lot of new people and that's what excited me the most. The college had its own merits butHostel
My winter vacation was over, however much I enjoyed at home, I felt something missing, and I realized that it was the connection that I had made with my college and I missed it. In just a couple of days, I was back and this time around I was happy, relaxed, and fully satisfied. Being back in the hostel was probably the best feeling I got in the past couple of days and I thoroughly enjoyed it. As the second semester started, I realized that I had formed a group withAlex,Sam,andAarushand this was probably the best thing that happened to me in the last couple of years and this friendship was probably there to stay.With us four together life became probably more enjoyable for me in college. WithAlexbeing with me in class we enjoyed ourselves a lot and did a whole lot of funny
Before we move on any further, I want you all to be clear with all the different dynamics that were formed in my friend circle. Let us begin withAlizeh, she andPriyankwere like brother and sisterandPriyankreally loved that bond, he would literally do anything for her sister, you should see his call logs they had literallyAlizehwritten all over it.AlizehandRahulshared a brother-sister relationship while she andKabir(yeah that guy from amphitheater) were committed to each other.KabirandShanayashared a brother-sister bond. Then there wasRahul, he andShanayashared a brother-sister relationship, he andReva
Starting with Reva and Rahul.On the14th of September,he finally told her,and that's where their friendship got off track. I still remember whatReva'sface was while saying, "WHAT? I didn't consider you more than a friend EVER, you were my best friend and I love you ONLY as a friend and I have no feelings for you otherwise".After hearing this,Rahulwas completely shattered which was expected since I had previously conveyed my worries of her already being in a relationship and why would she choose him overPrathuwithout any solid reason. Because of this, the complications increased in the whole group and I knew something like that could happen because, for him to move on fromReva, he needed to stay away from her. But that was near impossible bec
It was the6th of November, the day the sessionals were supposed to end, who knew all of our lives were going to turn upside down in a few days. I didn't know what was happening to me, my feelings grew stronger and stronger day by day, and being withAlizehmade me relaxed, made me happy yet satisfied. I don't know why being in her company made me like that, maybe the way she talked to me, or the way she smiled and laughed with me, maybe her voice, the way she cared for me, or maybe her presence, all of these things made her a very beautiful person not only from outside but from inside too.MaybeI was in love, and it was nothing like shown in movies where the music starts playing in the background or violin starts playing or something. I just think it's a very pure feeling or a pure connection, a feeling litera
It has been 18 months since I last saw her or even heard her voice. And yet, I still miss her. For whatever reason it is, I still love her just as much as I have always loved her. In my mind, every day passes by as if I should hate her more and more for whatever she did to me, but I don't hate her, and I don't think I ever could if I wanted to. I just hate all the hurt that she put me through, and I blame myself for letting her, yet my love for her never dies, and I guess this is what true love is.Even though I try to remember how she looked, her face, the dresses she wore, and her voice, I can only recall small bits and pieces. It seems I'm forgetting her, but I still remember all our happy moments despite all that has happened to us. I still remember everything about her, her smile, her endless laughs, her pretty face, her blushing, her relaxing expression after seeing me, her hugging me, her voice in the morning, her holding my hands and not letting me go, her friendship, her love
After the whole drunk texting incident, things were not really the same. I was embarrassed for what I did, and for that, I apologized to Alizeh many times that day. I know she wasn't going to talk to me but I wasn't going to force her either. She changed I guess, she changed a lot. From her behavior it was quite understood that she doesn't want to talk to me or even see my face, I guess maybe I started to irritate her or my presence made her feel disgusted. I still don't know what made her feel that way for me but I know for sure that I hadn't done anything which made her feel that way me. And for the drunk texting incident, she did the same with me when she was drunk so I guess we were both even now.The next morning after apologizing to her I told her "I am having a hangover. Do you know I vomited 15-16 times last night", and her reply was something I didn't expect. She said "WTF, Why do you drink so much if you can't handle it", she knew it was the first time I got drunk, she knew
The thing that just happened cracked me, it just broke me again, and this time I was done, I just didn't wanted to be used anymore, so I decided to put an end to what all has just been started. I knew that someday it was supposed to end because the way it started was not correct, it was really wrong on both of our parts and we need to be held responsible for everything that had happened. We needed to accept everything that happened and just move on and that was something I wasn't ready for, it's not that I never thought about it because I'd be lying if I said I hadn't, as I knew that it would happen and it just happened, and this time I cannot do anything about it, or should I say that things were really out of my hands this time, because from the starting everything has always been about her and I guess she played me well, and this was her checkmate.We continued our conversation, it was still night and I promised myself to end all of this, both of our friendship if need be, so we ta
I woke up to my cousin's call next morning, he was in Delhi too, so he asked me to hangout with him that day. Although I had plans with Sam but he was busy somewhere else, so I decided to hangout with my cousin. As soon as I took the shower and got ready to leave, Alizeh's message came, I guess she reached and Kabir was not with her at that time.Alizeh: "Hello"Alizeh: "I just sat in the car, and I am on my way home"Varun: "Good, reach home safely!"Alizeh: "What are you doing?"Varun: "Going to meet my cousin, will hangout with him today"Alizeh: "Oh nice, why isn't Sam coming?"Varun: "He said he was busy and I didn't ask him much. Take care and message me as soon as you reach home!" Alizeh: "Areyy, and yes obviously naa I will message"Alizeh: "By the way, how are you?"Varun: "Nice"Varun: "How are you?"Alizeh: "Are you sure?, you don't sound okay?"Actually I wasn't okay, I missed her but I just didn't wanted to show her that -Varun: "Why?"Alizeh: "I will call you when I re
With that and our trip began and we reached the railway station. We sat in the train, and relaxed for a bit as most of us felt sleepy, because obviously we haven't slept in the night, so we all rested on our berths, and before sleeping I messaged her - Varun: "And listen don't think about me much, just enjoy yourself!"And then I slept, I knew she was asleep and she had to go with Kabir and some of her friends to Jaipur for hanging out in the morning, so I thought I shouldn't disturb her by messaging her and I decided to let her sleep and I slept too. I woke up around 9.30am, and saw her messages were already there, I saw she relied to the messages I have sent her at around 8.30am -Alizeh: "You just shut up idiot, I don't want any bad trips as soon as I wake up!"Alizeh: "My head is just aching a lot!"She then continued to message me, another message dropped around 9.30am, but I was awake by then -Alizeh: "You are probably sleeping, so I will not text you a lot because I know you
Next morning while I fast asleep she kept messaging me and when I woke up she messaged again -Alizeh: "Wake up idiot!"Alizeh: "By the way I slept again at 7.20am, and woke up just now!"Varun: "Are you serious when you said "much more than anyone will maybe!""Alizeh: "Shh!"To her I know you do message I replied-Varun: "I love you very much idiot!"Alizeh: "I know gadhe!"Varun: "And you?"Alizeh: "Do you really want to know?"Varun: "Tell me I wanna know!"Alizeh: "I love you a lot like very much!"Varun: "Thank you so much Alizeh!"Alizeh: "Shh!"Then we talked about exam for some time, she even told me that she will help me to cover some topics which I was not confident about. After that she went and I started to study. In the evening we had to and see out STLD answer sheets, so she messaged me "Should we go?", and I replied "Yes", and then she messaged "Meet me at 4pm at gate, and don't reply now!", and then at 3.55pm she messaged again "Come at gate naa!", and I replied "I am
This chapter shows how life creates chaos in your life, no matter how hard you try to stay away from it, how hard you try to ignore it or run away from it, it all still comes to you and maybe hurts you much more than you can ever imagine. This chapter shows how things changed for me andAlizeh, how our relationship evolved, how we grew more fond of each other and loved each other. The love we had was not something you see in everyday life, it was pure, without any external pressure, it showed how two people cared for each other, how they respected each other so much that their love came out of that respect and not only that it shows how powerful that love can be to destroy or make up other person's life.The next morning it was the 2nd of December,the day of our Maths exam.I was all geared up and ready. I wanted to talk
The next morning started with her texts again -Alizeh:"What classes do we have today?"Varun:"No greetings today, direct questions about work, good going, I don't know which classes we have but I will go only DS"Alizeh:"Areyy I woke up just now and same!"Varun:"Okay, everything good na? How are you feeling now tell me?"Alizeh:"Yes I am good now!"Varun:"Are you sure? don't hide anything from me, we promised each other we will not stop sharing, we trust each other fully right?"
Going by the title, this chapter goes through a lot of worse before some good happens again in my life, maybe the worst phase of my life takes place here.Alizehignores me, and not only that she didn't accept it until the very end and that hurt me a lot becauseI am not someone who would keep on chasing someone even if they don't want me to, I am not that guy who would go against wishes of anyone, if someone doesn't want me to be around them they just need to say it and not create an atmosphere of tension around them. I am that person who if you want to ignore, you just have to tell me and I won't cross your path ever again, if you want to get away from me you just have to tell me and I will never disturb you again, but I just don't want somebody to behave with me in a way which makes both of our lives difficult to go ahead. I just don't want to get hurt by that person over and over again