Chapter 3

I grinded my hips in a flirty way against the crotch area of the man behind me. I can already feel his erection brushing against my bump but that didn't make me stop.

I could already feel the bullets of sweat on my neck traveling down between my exposed cleavage. The 3G bar was packed once again. Everyone is wild, everyone moves without any care about what tomorrow holds for them, and everyone moves freely.

And I did the same. My moves started to become wilder. Every sway of my hips and each waves my body makes gradually grew bigger and bolder. I felt like I was getting attention because of what I was doing but I didn’t care and just kept on dancing.

This was what I needed, the freedom and the distraction to temporarily forgot my problems.

“You’re hot,” the guy I am dancing with whispered close to my ears.

The smirk disappeared from my lips. "You like it?" I asked, seductively, trying to flirt more than what we are already doing.

“You’re making me hard, babe.”

I began to dance even harder, trying to impress him more. Maybe it was because of the alcohol I took that I couldn’t feel ashamed even though I didn't know the man behind me. He just approached me while I was dancing alone earlier until we ended up like this as if we’d known each other for a long time even though we just met tonight.

I felt his hand crawl from my arms down to both of my waists. He traces my obvious curves that were emphasized by the black backless dress that I was wearing. His warm hands went up and down my waist until it went even more downward until it reaches the front of my sensitive part that was only being covered by the dress that I am wearing.

I couldn’t keep track of how long I have been here and dancing like a loose tigress. All I know is that I still don't feel free enough right now. The bottle of wine I drank was still not enough to make me forget.

If only a drug had been invented, everything would be less hard. It would make it easy for me that when I’ll take it, I would be able to instantly forget all the painful events in my life and the memories that repeatedly tested my resilience would suddenly disappear.

If only there was. If I could, I would have done it sooner. But every single day, I’m just being reminded of my sin and my loss. And each passing second that passes in my life, I could not help but imagine myself taking my own life so that everything will finally end.

It's exhausting. I do not want any more.

“You’re disappointing me every single time, Prescilla.”

My hands that were about to hold the man behind me hung in the air. The loud music of the whole place was now overpowered by the loud beating of my heart.

Nervousness dominated my heart so much that even the slight intoxication I was feeling suddenly disappeared from my system. The only thing that was running through my mind was his voice. His disappointed voice.

I was quickly overwhelmed by the embarrassment of what I was doing. Slowly my hand went down until it was just on my side. My two palms clenched in fear that the anger he felt for me might get worse because of what he had seen.

"Harris," I called his name with fear and nervousness when I finally had the courage to face him.

I saw how he spitefully glanced at me from head to toe. “You know what? I shouldn't have expected that you'll change. Or at least regret what you did.”

“Harris, no. Let me explain,” I whispered, nervous at the anger he was showing.

“Coming here was a waste of time,” he said before turning his back on me.

I quickly followed him with my eyes slowly getting filled with tears. I don’t know why he’s here. Maybe he followed me, or what.

I battle with the crowdy pace and forced my way out. I used to be happy with the people surrounding me in a place like this. People who seemed to sympathize with my problem. But now my heart only feels anger as they are only becoming an obstacle for me. Hindrances that were stopping me from following the man I was chasing.

"Harris!" I shouted, hoping that he'd stop walking away.

I walked faster when I finally got out of the sea of ​​people and immediately ran towards Harris to close our distance. I removed the stiletto I was wearing to catch up with him faster. I could feel the edgy stone I was walking through using my bare feet. But unlike how I imagined it would ache, I was too numb to even feel it.

My heart was more hurt to even notice the physical exhaustion and sting on my feet.

The road was not flat on that side of the bar where rocks and mud were dominating. But I couldn’t even care about going home with bloody feet because I know that Harris was livid because of what he saw.

I quickly knelt down with him when I caught up with him and immediately hugged his legs so that he could not go any farther. “I’m sorry! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to. Forgive me,” I begged.

He shook me off and moved away from me with no mercy. He angrily pointed a finger on me with spiteful eyes. “How many more times can I hear those words from you? For once can you stand up to your apology. It's boring to listen to and then you do it again.”

Immediately abundant tears welled up in my eyes because of the anger I was hearing from him. The anger that has been there for a long time has now doubled.

"I promised you everything, Prescilla!" full of resentment he cried, scolding and unleashing accumulated anger for me. “I can provide all your needs, more than the things you want! I promised to make you my queen! I promise to build a family with you! And I'm ready to laugh at all my promises to you, but what you did is silly!” He took a step closer to me and grabbed me by my arms with force making me stand up and face him, his anger. “You dared do shitty dance with another man as if you didn’t kill an innocent child! How could you?!”

Every word he uttered sounded like a broken record. I know he was hurt by all that was going on between us that started five months ago.

I can feel the pain he feels and the pain that is being returned to me is twice as much. I was hurt too, even if I acted as if everything just didn't matter, I was also hurt.

But I know that no matter what explanation I give, he will not believe what I say. Even if I tell the whole story, it will not be a reduction in the sins I have committed.

"I'm lost too, Harris," I said tearfully.

"But it's your fault." Each look deepened and his nail dug deeper into my arm. “I can fight you. I am ready to take you and answer. I can fight you against your parents but you chose to stay by their side because of the luxury you can't afford to let go of. ”

I felt the re -drawing of hot tears in my eyes because of the pressure of his utterance with each rebuke he hurled.

"You don't understand, Harris," I replied shakily.

I no longer know how long I will be able to endure the heat of anger I see in his glowing eyes. The hatred was so open there that it was as if I was a poison that had ruined his life.

I can no longer see the former we are happy. We used to love each other dearly. We were over the moon every day and night every time we're together. Our relationship used to be strong like the biggest solid rock. Our relationship was centered on the promises that we made to each other.

Promise that no matter how murderous the storm can be as it hits us, we will always choose to be together. A promise that we will only love one another for as long as we breathe. A promise that we will build our own family until we have our happy ending.

We might be young then and now, but the love we used to have was tougher than anything else. The love that was made stronger by his love and dedication for me, for us.

I used to believe that he was, that I would love no one else. That he will be my first and last in everything. But from what I see now it looks blurry. Because when the storm hit us unprepared, my grip became slippery and I was unable to fight back.

“I would never understand why you chose the path that you took. I would never be able to make up my mind and open a little room for your explanation. ” He shuddered at the same time as violently releasing his grip on my arm. I was shaken but I recovered quickly to stand in front of him again. "I don't know you anymore, Prescilla Hope."

"We can fix it, Harris," I pleaded. I took another step just to stop as quickly as he backed away. I looked at his face in pain and now there is no emotion to be read. “Give me one chance, Harris. Just a chance. ”

He shuddered as he slowly backed away. “Don’t come near me again.” He brushed his hair frustratingly using his fingers as he rolled his tongue to wet his lips. “Don’t make me hate you so much.”

I tried to get closer but when he shook my feet spontaneously stopped stepping. "I-I love you, Harris," I said between sobs.

Silently, he turned away from me. And even before I knew it, he gott inside of his car and let me. And when he did that, for the second time today, my world collapsed again.