Chapter Ten

My eyes gazed blankly outside the window as we drove away from the warehouse. My mind reeled with thoughts of Monica, the guilts starting to creep in, paralyzing me to the soft leather chair.

‘Why did this have to happen?’, I thought to myself. ‘No matter what she did, Monica didn't deserve to die. All she did was love the wrong person’

My eyes began to well up with tears as I thought of Monica's lifeless body on the cold dirty floor. In her death, she looked so innocent, I almost prayed to God to trade our souls. 

‘What if I had done something different?’ I asked myself. ‘What if I had tried to reason with Monica instead of pushing her away? She could have still been here, hating me from the the corners’

My guilt began to consume me, making me feel like I was responsible for her death. I knew it was rational but I just couldn't shake the feeling. It felt like a heavy load on my shoulder.

As we arrived at Elijah's house, I felt a sense of relieve wash over me. I reminisced the softness in Elijah's eyes earlier. Just maybe he would be able to comfort me and relieve me off this sudden huge burden. But when I looked up at him, I knew that was just another impossible delusion of mine again.

“This is all your fault,” Elijah spat, his voice venomous. His eyes blazed with anger, his jaw clenched in fury. “If you hadn't delayed us, Monica would still be alive!” 

My eyes widened at his outburst, the guilt multiplying exponentially.

“I…I didn't mean for this to happen,” I stuttered, my voice breaking.

But Elijah just laughed, a cold, mirthless sound. “You never mean for anything to happen, do you?” he sneered. “But it always does. And now Monica's dead because of you!”

The tears streamed down my face as Elijah's voice cut deep into my soul. I felt like I would drown in the guilt.

“How can you say that?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “I never wanted Monica to die”

Elijah's expression even turned colder. “You didn't mean for her to die?” He asked in disbelief. “You didn't mean for her to die?” He repeated, his voice dripping with disdain. “You didn't want her to die, but you did nothing to stop her”

It was at that moment I realise what situation I was in. Elijah wasn't blaming me because he felt I was truly at fault. He was only shifting the guilt he felt towards me. He couldn't care to hold on to all the guilt so I was his scapegoat.

“You're such a selfish prick! I have nothing to do with Monica's death. She! She was the one who planned this whole kidnap because of how she so blindly loved you. How was I to know she would get caught in the web she created! How was I supposed to fucking know, Elijah?!” I screamed at him, my eyes burned with fury. “You keep hitting me with all the blame but where were you for the last 24hours during our kidnap. You had a tracker on me, didn't you? You obviously knew where we were from the very beginning, so where the fuck where you?!” 

Elijah stared at me, his expression unreadable. I didn't expect much from him but I didn't expect him to be such a coward that he would be this selfish and cruel to me. Even the devil knew how to own up to his doings.

He finally shook his head in frustration before storming out of the house.

I felt like I was in a nightmare, the world was beginning to crash down on me. I rubbed my belly feeling the little life inside me. “I'm so sorry, baby. Mama is so sorry” I cried. The tears refusing to stop.

Everything began to feel so familiar. It was like a pattern. An endless list of people who died because of me. First it was Lizzy Volkov, my first boss. Now it was Monica, my husband's mistress. Who would it be next? 

I stood up from the floor, eager to get over the days event. I needed to get some rest. I had a life in my belly to save. 

I began to search frantically for my room. Just as I was about to turn to the corridor my room was located, I sighted that one room. The room I was forbidden to enter. During the dinner party, Elijah had specifically gave me a house tour and showed me my room. He had also showed me this certain room that nobody was allowed to enter. Not even me.

I continued to stare at the door. I shouldn't go in or disobey his orders, I thought to myself. But I felt something call me on the other side of the door. What could be there? 

And so I twisted the knob but it didn't budge. The door was locked. Just as I was about to give up, my hand mistakenly hit one of the book on the bookshelves on the wall. But it didn't fall. Instead, it opened to a small box. A small key inside.

I should have known if felt too easy. But instead I grabbed the key and opened the door. 

Everywhere suddenly went silent, not even a cricket could be heard. I closed my eyes, scared of what I would see. And when I opened it, it was nothing near what I had expected.

There on a bed with an IV hooked in her, was Lizzy Volkov. The woman I believed to be dead. The woman who made me run away from countries because I couldn't escape the enemies she made for herself and me. The woman who everyone believed I killed. The woman who everyone believed was dead.

Flashback 

I stood in Lizzy Volkov’s kitchen, grabbing a glass of water for my boss. Back then I was Astrid Grey, a devoted secretary to a female billionaire. She was a ruthless and cunning businesswoman, but what the world didn't know was that she was also the leader of a powerful Russian gang.

As I reached for the water glass, I heard muffled voices coming from the study. I recognized Lizzy's voice, but the others were unfamiliar. Suddenly, the tone of the conversation changed, and I heard a loud crash followed by a scream.

"Lizzy!" I whispered, my heart racing with fear.

I peeked into the study, and my blood ran cold. Lizzy was lying on the floor, a pool of blood spreading around her head. The men who had been talking to Lizzy were now standing over her, their faces twisted with cruelty.

"Oh my god," I whispered, my eyes wide with horror.

One of the men spotted me, and our eyes locked. I saw a flash of recognition, followed by a snarl.

"Run," I told myself, turning to flee.

But as I ran, I could hear Lizzy's voice in my head. "Maya, help me!"

I didn't dare look back, fearing what I might see. I just kept running, my heart pounding in my chest.

As I emerged from the office building, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. Why had I run away? Why hadn't I tried to save Lizzy?

I stumbled through the streets, my mind reeling with thoughts of Lizzy. I finally made it back to my apartment, locking the door behind me.

But as I leaned against the door, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was responsible for Lizzy's death.

"Why did I run away?" I whispered, my eyes welling up with tears. "Why didn't I try to save her?"

The guilt and shame consumed me, and I felt like I was drowning in my own regret. I couldn't shake the feeling that I would carry this guilt with me for the rest of my life…

Back to reality 

“Oh my God…oh my God” I covered my mouth, trying to suppress the scream that was threatening to spill out of my mouth_ I had been doing that a lot for the past 48 hours. The tears that had long dried from my eyes began to flow again.

“What the fuck is this?” I whispered, my body trembling miserably with fear. “What have I gotten myself into? What's she doing in Elijah's house?” 

Was this what Antonio was talking about? I ran away from them just to run into my number one enemy?

My eyes roamed the whole room, looking for some explanation to what I was seeing. But the only signs I could read that continued to ring in my head was the loud scream of RUN my brain screamed.

I stepped back in horror, the adrenaline beginning to kick. I turned back ready to run but suddenly met a wall I wasn't expecting.

“Where the fuck do you think you're going now, Astrid Grey?” Elijah stared down at me an unrecognisable fire in his eyes.