Chapter 57

Jaxson let out a feeble scoff. “You really look like my mother, Cattleya. Once we get home, I'll show you some pictures of her and you can tell by yourself whether you really resemble her.”

“Uh, what do you mean… Once we get home? I am home.” I replied with a tinge of confusion flashed in my voice.

Jaxson shut his eyes firmly, seemingly annoyed to me.

“Cattleya. Why do you always have to ruin it? Why are you such a crabby?” he grumbled.

“I am not.” I felt one of my brows rise up, looking intently at him. “This is the truth, Jaxson. I am home right now and you— are lying on my bed.”

“Whatever you say, chippy.”

My mouth fell open by the word he let out.

“What did you just say to me?” I couldn’t stop myself from getting up because of how much he irritates me. “I am not being chippy, or grumpy, or whatever it is! Jaxson. I am home. And once we get back to your mansion, I will just temporarily be in your house together with your family. Not home.” I glared at him.

“Hmm, sounds like I forgot to buy us a house then. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it first thing tomorrow and get us home.”

My head shook slowly, scornful to his idea.

“There’s no way, you’re gonna do that. You don’t have to go that far. Not because you can afford it like a toy, doesn’t mean you’ll buy it carelessly. You know, buying a house will just be a waste after a year. After our contract ends.”

“Then perhaps rent it for a year.” He flashed a smirk across his lips as he took the pillow from me and hugged it, turning his body and facing me.

“You're not going to get us a house and live alone together. I can stay in your mansion and perhaps help Aunt Elsie and Lovely as I finish my studies.” I burst out with emphasis to let him know that I don't like the idea of ​​him buying our one year relationship a house.

I went back to lying down fiercely and turned my back on him because there was no barrier between us and only the pillow he was hugging.

I am not acting that I don't like him to buy a house just to show that I am not interested in his money or whatever things that he can buy.

“Don't get me wrong, Jax.” I whispered. "I just... I just don't want to leave us a core memory together. Buying a house and living together will make me used to that life... and I... I am afraid that once I lose it... I'll feel... shattered… It scares me.”

I don't want to have something that reminds me of Jaxson every time I see it. I am scared. I am scared of losing him.

I don’t want to develop an affection for someone knowing that I will lose that person anyway. I don’t want that heart break ever again.

Little by little I felt Jaxson's hushed movement behind me. I felt that he brought his body closer to me because I felt the warmth of his body as his hand slid on my waist, giving me a back hug.

I just let him put his chin on my head and pulled me closer.

”Why do you always say that this would last in a year..?” Jaxson whispered in a croaky voice. “Why do you always have to remind me..?”

He sounded dejected, and I can feel it the way he hugged me from the back.

I let out a deep sigh. “Isn't that the truth?” I answered. “You have no idea how many times I reminded myself that we are just temporary, Jax... That whatever it is that we have will just be gone after the contract. And everytime that I loosen, it makes me feel afraid and I don't understand why. I can’t even think of spending a year and living with someone like you, but… I can’t deny it, Jax. It is only because I am afraid. I am frightened for the day that I will wake up and our contract ends. That this affection, with you having this close to me, hearing you teasing me, will all just be memories one day. And because of that, I know that this feeling shouldn’t be watered and grown. Because it will hurt, Jax. It hasn’t even gotten deeper yet but I know for myself that I will be the only one hurt…”

My eyes were drawn to his arm when I felt his hug tightened.

“The only way all of those will happen is when you decide to leave me.”

My forehead furrowed in perplexedness at what he said. I swiftly turned to face him, and the moment our eyes met, I felt a bizarre feeling. It's like we are connected.

I looked deeply into his eyes and I can feel Jaxson's warm breath brushing on my face because of how close our faces are to each other. But tonight, I don't feel very nervous at all. My nerves aren't cracking just how it always is. I feel more relaxed as I fall into his eyes.

“What do you mean by that..?” I whispered.

“Cattleya, you have no idea how much you petrify me with those words you just said. It made me feel like you have a solid plan of leaving me any second after our contract ends. And as much as you don't want to leave this moment that we are having together right now..? I don't want to lose it too. Unlike you, I want to get used to having you by my side. Because I have you in my vision. I already see the future with you. So please, never mention that our relationship will end in a year all the time. Hmm? We are the rulers, we created the deal, and if we both agree to stay together still, there will be no hindrance for that to happen. As long as you stay by my side.”

I blinked a thousand times just to digest every single word that Jaxson had just told me.

“I-I can't believe it…” I murmured, “A-Are you confessing to me?”

“Am I confessing to my wife?” He chuckled. “Crazy, but yes I think I am.”

Seems like my heart skipped a beat looking at Jaxson's lips.