Chapter 4: The worst wounds are the ones that you don’t see

Penelope

              Nausea gathers in my stomach as I make my way to the guest bedroom. I can’t believe that I just molested, Argent. He looked so gorgeous and broody that I couldn’t help myself. I wasn’t joking with him when I said that I saw him when he walked into the auction room or thought he was hot. To be honest, he’s the most attractive man that I’ve ever met. I was drawn to his masculine bearing, golden hair, muscular body, and sharp hazel eyes from the first moment he walked in.

              Since the moment I sat on his lap, I have kept bouncing between anxiety and arousal. Something about him made me feel safe and needy. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t scared of him. Even when I thought that he was there to buy a woman. I know that it’s stupid and cheesy, but it feels as if my soul was calling out to his.

               Yet, there’s this fear in my chest that I can’t let go of. I can’t help but feel that something is going to happen to Lyria and me again. The only moment that I haven’t felt this way was when I was with Argent. Not only is he gorgeous, but he’s heroic and noble. It’s as if I’m a plant in need of light, and he’s the sun.

              I glance at Lyria’s still form and sigh. She looks so dejected, lying curled up like a ball in the middle of the bed. I imagine that she must have been exhausted after everything that happened. What I do know is that she’d didn’t get any sleep since we were taken. Lyria has always been the vulnerable one, and I can’t help but feel that I let her down. After all, she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me. I was the one that accepted the position. I was the one that convinced her to come with me because I couldn’t bear the thought of living in a foreign country by myself. If it wasn’t for me, she’d be safe at home. I knew that she had reservations about moving to Rio, but I convinced her that she was being silly. Regardless of my guilt, I can’t leave. Not now that I’ve met Argent. Something inside of me senses that this is where I am supposed to be. Perhaps I’m fooling myself thinking this way, but I don’t care.

              I lie the rest of the night thinking about how good it felt to kiss Argent and be touched by him. Unfortunately, Lyria’s dreams are as restless. She wakes up several times during the night crying, and I try to comfort her as best as I can.

              “Don’t touch me!” Lyria cries out, flailing against the bed covers. Her arms move relentlessly with her anguished cries as she struggles to divest herself of her fear.

              Concerned, I wrap my arms tightly around her, hoping to stop her from hurting herself; I make soothing sounds as we both rock back and forth. “It’s okay, Lyria. We’re fine.”

              Lyria wraps her arms tighter around me and mutters. “Why did they kill that man, Pen? Why did they want to hurt us?” She croaks out with an aggrieved cry.

              Stifling my sobs, I kiss her temple. “I don’t know, Lyria. But I do know we’ll get through this. You know you have me, and we’ll be okay.”

              Lyria’s bottom lip quivers with emotion. “Yeah, it’ll be you and me.”

              The next day, I try to avoid Argent, which isn’t easy considering we’re living in his house. To my surprise, he and Lyria seem to hit it off. I’ve observed them both laughing and talking like old friends. He’s so sweet and gentle with her that I can’t help but be jealous. Yet, I can’t begrudge their blooming friendships because he makes her smile. I guess, in my head, I consider Argent to be my hero. How stupid am I that I have a crush on him? 

              His housekeeper Isadora has been very kind to us. She’s maternal and sweet. Lyria and I are totally soaking it up. “Thanks, Isadora. Hopefully, Argent will be able to recover our belongings soon.”

              Isadora waves her hand dismissively as she sets some articles of clothing inside an open drawer. “It’s alright, anjinho.” Angel. She mutters in her thick English accent. “When Argent called me to tell us about your situation, I knew that I had to help.” She gestures to a silent Lyria.

              We talk for a while, which puts me at ease. Her son Gio and her husband Lauro have also been wonderful too. It’s nice to be part of a family, even if it’s not our own.

              Somehow, I manage to avoid Argent for a couple of days. This morning, I’m in the kitchen, grabbing a drink from the refrigerator, when I finally run into Argent. Freezing in place, I observe as he strides through the courtyard and straightens his navy blue jacket. He’s so masculine that every part of my body responds. He has this predatory walk that is self-assured and sexy.  I love the way the sun’s light shines through his golden hair and how well he fits his suit. It looks as if it’s made for him. My mouth waters at the thought of how well his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and muscled thighs look. 

              Swallowing hard, I turn around in hopes that he doesn’t spot me, but it’s too late. His striking eyes hone in on mine with an intensity that nearly takes my breath away. All I can do is stand in front of him, gape like an idiot, and twist the hem of the blue summer dress that Isadora gave me between my fingers.

              “Penelope,” Argent mutters in an enigmatic tone. I squirm in place, feeling a sense of renewed humiliation over what transpired between us the other night. Why did I make things so awkward between us?

              “Hey, Argent.” I manage to croak out evenly.

              Argent moves closer and cocks his head. “Can we talk in private?” He asks huskily.

              I nod my head, unable to talk through the constriction blocking my throat. Thankfully, he doesn’t notice my idiotic response. Either that or he’s too nice to mention it.

              I bite my lip and nod as Argent waves his hand toward a nearby door. I feel like a prisoner being led to the gallows.

              Nervous, I slide my hands down my thighs and walk into the room. It’s an office. A comfortable-looking one with a simple wooden desk, a swivel chair, and a black leather couch against one of the covered wooden walls. There’s a laptop on the desk and an organized stack of files.

              Walking forward, Argent waves to the leather couch. “Please, have a seat.”

              I nod my head and primly settle on the edge of the couch. Argent reaches for a chair and settles down in front of me. He looks mouthwatering up close. His beard is trimmed, and his hair is freshly cut into a trendy pompadour. I feel underdressed with my long brown hair falling haphazardly around my shoulders and jersey summer dress. I sit in the seat quietly, swinging my feet like a child. It would almost be funny if I wasn’t so nervous.

              Argents deep voice breaks my thoughts. “I just wanted to give you an update on your property. As of right now, Mateo is running a search on your valuables, but it’s going to take some time.”

              “What do we do? We can’t travel without our passports or our IDs.” I ask.

              Argent leans close and pats my knee soothingly. My skin tingles at the innocent touch. He might as well have touched me intimately with the way my body reacts. His touch is like fuel to my fire. It feels so good that I have to stifle a moan. I wonder if he wants to touch me between my legs again. I almost blush when he snaps me out of my fantasy.

              Unaware of my dirty thoughts, Argent replies to my question. “It’s alright, Penelope, we can replace everything if we need to. Mateo already reported your stolen belongings to the local police and to the embassy. We can replace your passports too, but it might take a couple of weeks. You’re both welcome to stay here until they arrive.”

              I nod my head, unable to speak. He’s so kind.

              Taking a couple of deep breaths, I rub my palms against my thighs shyly. “Thank you. I think Lyria would like that.”

              I take a deep breath before I continue. “Listen, Argent…I wanted to apologize for…” I clear my throat, feeling a blush spread across my cheeks. I’m sure he can’t miss it, considering how pale my skin is.

              Brow furrowed, Argent takes a deep breath and leans his elbows on his knees with a deep sigh. “It’s alright, Penelope. It’s not your fault.”

              I shake my head, confused. “It’s not?” I ask stupidly. I want to run away at that moment. I can’t believe how idiotic I sound.

              Argent continues to talk completely, unaware of my self-recrimination. “No, it’s not. Look, I know how you’re feeling right now. You’re sad and lost, and you feel out of control. Kissing me was your way of trying to make yourself feel good. A way for you to forget your fear. It’s natural to want to feel alive.”       

              Tears blur my eyes at his accurate words. “Does this fear ever go away?” I mutter with a helpless quiver. “I feel like I’m dreaming, and when I wake up, I’ll find myself back in that horrible house. I feel cold and empty.” I murmur hopelessly. Tears glide down my eyes, and silent sobs wrack my body.

              Without a word, Argent pulls me into his arms. His warm body feels so good against mine. I feel protected and secure that all I can do is cling to him. I don’t know how long I cry, but I feel like it will never end. Eventually, Argent looks at me, his face set in a helpless grimace.

              I swallow hard, willing my tears to subside. Poor Argent looks helpless at the face of my tears. He’s so gentle that I can’t help but fall a little in love with him when he leans forward and gently wipes at my sodden cheeks with his thumbs. “Everything will be alright, Penelope. You have to believe that.”

              I nod my head and tighten my arms around his firm back. His body feels so good against mine. “Thank you.”

              Argent kisses the tip of my nose with a gentle nod. Unwilling to let him go, I kiss his chin and bottom lip. The kiss is gentle this time. We barely touch, yet I’m left dazed and aroused by the time that he pulls away.

              I want to ask him to kiss me some more, but I’m unsure, and he looks so distant and impenetrable that I hesitate. “I’ll see you at dinner, yeah?”

              Speechless, I nod my head and step out of the room. Unfortunately, the encounter isn’t as forgettable for me as it is for him. I spend the whole day thinking about that afternoon. I try not to squirm in my seat at dinner, but it’s difficult because my body is still humming with need. Argent, however, doesn’t seem to be giving me a second thought. How depressing.

              Over the next couple of days, the glow of our kiss begins to fade into the back of my mind. I wander the quiet house and step out into the courtyard to watch the rain pour down from the dark, smoky sky. Lightning strikes every few minutes, lighting the thick vegetation outside of the patio as it mutes the night creatures’ calls. I listen to the pitter-patter of the rain as it strikes the glass and smells the scent of fresh grass in the air. Leaning against one of the patio’s columns, I watch hypnotized as the rains splatters onto the ground.

              That’s how Argent finds me. “What are you doing out here?” He whispers beside me. Sighing with contentment, I wrap my arms around my chest and rest my head against the column. “It’s so beautiful and peaceful out here. Especially at night.” I say wistfully.

              I can feel the heat of his gaze as he takes in my short, linen night-gown and settles his arm against the column, caging me in. “I’ve lived here for ten years, and I’m still awed by the magnificent sight. There’s nothing like the beautiful flora and fauna of Brazil.” He whispers softly.

              Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and savor the sounds of the night. The heat of Argent’s body so close to mine makes anticipation zing through me.

              As slowly as I can, I turn to face him and wrap my fingers around his tie. Argent’s eyes soften instantly. “Kiss me,” I whisper against his neck. At first, I think he’s going to refuse, but to my surprise, he moves closer and takes me in his arms. Our lips fuse together as pleasure heats my body with every swirl of his tongue against mine. His firm lips take mine with a savage intensity that instantly makes my body shudder. I slide my fingers through his thick golden hair and bite his bottom lip as the kiss deepens with intensity. Soft sighs and gasps escape our lips with every nip and suck.

              “Make love to me, Argent,” I mutter against his lips.

              At my plea, Argent stiffens in my arms, but he does not pull away. Though I continue to kiss him, I know that I’ve lost him already. I can’t make sense of what is going on between us. Yet I can’t pretend that from the moment we’ve first kissed, I’ve become addicted to this man. From the first moment we met, I’ve felt a strong connection to him. Pulling back, I wrap my arms around my chest and meet his aloof gaze. “What’s wrong, Argent? Don’t you like me?” I naively ask.

              Argent winces at my tone as he takes a step back. “Look, Penelope, I think you’re very beautiful. If I were any other man, I’d have taken you by now. However, I’m not that, man.”

              He paces in place, slides his fingers through his hair, then turns back to face me. “Don’t fall for me, Penelope.”

              “Why?” I mutter curiously, but Argent doesn’t hear me as he continues to mumble to himself.

              “I don’t know why I let things get this far. I should go.”

              I open my mouth to ask what he means, but before I can, Argent walks away. His shoulders are stiff, and his expression dark as he makes his way back into the house. All I can do is stand there feeling dejected as the rain creates a backdrop for my sadness.

              We kissed again, yet he acted like it wasn’t what he wanted. What bothers me the most is that I’m seriously attracted to him. I’ve never felt this way for any other man. That’s when I realize that Argent’s right. Starting something after all of the trauma that I’ve experienced would be a mistake. It’s time to become unattached.