No, no, no, no.How could I have forgotten today's Spanish exam?How was I able to put my place at the University on the line?How did I let myself be influenced by Chelsea?! Damn, dammit.I knew it had been a bad idea to attend a party at Harley Tombson's house on a Tuesday. If I had only sustained my argument for a few more minutes, Chelsea would have given up dragging me to South Boston just to attend a dumb party at the cottage of the most popular girl in high school.A damn party the day before the Spanish exam!Everything was going downhill!My brain was too busy trying to recover from the alcohol it was subjected to during the evening games to recall the subjects of Mr. Kavisck's classes. My ability to swallow thousands of contents in a single minute had melted along with each of my neurons. It was as if I had been turned to powder thanks to the damn whiskey I swallowed down my throat without even remembering the next day.It was only fifteen minutes before I was forced into
— Great, so we think alike! — he said, looking away from the pen in my hands. — Now stop being a pain in the ass.— As you wish, Prom Queen.After a while in silence, my mind wandering aimlessly, I did not hold back from questioning:— How did you know I was at Harley's house? You weren't there, were you?He stared at me deeply.— Nope. — That's all you said.— And how...Before I could finish, the teacher showed up putting the exam on our desk. When he left, I resumed:— And how do you know I was at the party? And dancing?Ian filled out the form with his black pen without bothering to offer more attention to me.— I live next door.I couldn't stop ungluing my iris from the boy.Ian Caccini was considered the biggest troublemaker in the school, which was odd since he was always alone and silent.From what I've heard, people just took it for granted after Harley Tombson's brother said he saw him fighting with a man near his house over a cigarette. After that, no on
FOUR YEARS LATERThe flashes flickered in such rapid motions that my eyes turned into dark, crooked, blurry blurs. With each clicking sound invading my eardrums, the more my brain forced itself to keep the smile exposed and the pupils perfectly focused, without offering pauses to get out of character.— Beautiful! Splendid! Wonderful!My photographer praised endlessly, encouraging me to keep my breath set, my shoulders firm, and my head sticking out.All for the perfect portrait.All to please my boss.All for the company.All for my family.Whenever I thought about giving up, ripping off that pinic, shiny, tacky outfit, I remembered why I'd been doing it. It only took a few words for my conscience to guide me back to reason.— The last one, Angel! — the redhead said. — Smile as if you had fulfilled all your dreams!I did as he asked. I bared all my teeth, narrowed my ribs, pulled my hips, made my eye sockets burn so they could continue to sustain the flash.But for a moment,
The traffic light opened and, between daydreams, I didn't see it. I could only see the green flashing when a car behind me honked its horn, making me hit the gas pedal until I got home.I pushed the melancholy thoughts to the bottom. I could not allow myself to lament, repent, or anything else related to my egoism. I made a choice and she was helping me a lot.— Good evening, Greg.I greeted the doorman of the building with a smile on my face and he greeted me with another in the same way.I loved it here.I loved my city. That was a positive side of my job. He allowed me not to go far. I could visit my sister at one time or another and she would come visit me too. Besides, no one would have guessed that Angel Backer lived in the suburbs of town.I was pleased.It was a simple, inexpensive building that supported my peaceful lifestyle. It contained plants at the entrance, some glass windows, and a very friendly doorman who always bid me good morning.I liked the place, even if some
That couldn't be true. Had I hallucinated the whole thing? Did that scene really happen? Was Ian Caccini, a ghost, really on my doorstep? And being a son of a bitch of a jerk?I questioned my lucidity for hours. I showered, put on a fresh outfit, brushed my hair and went to prepare a snack still with doubt choking my senses.After a long time of reasoning, I came to a solid conclusion: that mature looking, cold, tired, grown up guy was Ian Caccini. The same kid who confronted me on one of the worst days of my life (my first low grade), the same guy who called me on a date before I disappeared for four years, and the same guy who treated me like a stranger two hours ago.I didn't change as much as he did, and as soon as I slammed my eyes on his face, I knew who it belonged to. I would never forget him. How was he able to forget me?Not that I cared that much, but Ian saw me every Sunday for two years of our lives. Every Monday in Spanish class and almost every damn day in the halls of
— Ouch! — I yelled as the wood pressed against my foot.— More than fuck! — a startled look was the expression displayed by Ian. — Why did you put the crap in there?— Son of a bitch! — I exclaimed as the blood on my fingers pulsed.— Fuck, what did you do?!Ian looked worried. He was going to bend down to analyze, but remembered that he only wore a towel.His mouth traced a fine line and, after releasing all the air from his lungs, opened the door more than necessary.— Come in, let me see that.He gave me his hand for me to use as support, and the moment our skins touched, my nakedness so hot in contrast to the coldness of his caused a shock to my spine.I groaned again, only this time it was for the strange sensation and not for the foot drive.— You're crazy! I don't even know why I'm coming in here!I spoke loudly as soon as I sat down on his couch.— Am I crazy? It was you who set foot!— Because you were going to close the shit door in my face!— Again!I yel
The weekend passed like a destructive and merciless hurricane.I didn't have time off. I had to be at Diamond for three photo shoots and to help some new models who were in training.Rachel, unfortunately, was at the company monitoring everything and wouldn't even let me go out for lunch.— We don't have a break today to eat. — she said.After that he looked down on my body and mentioned harshly and firmly that it would be for my own good.It felt like punishment for the days I couldn't do jump rehearsals because of my foot. I never wanted to fly on her neck so much as I did in that torturous minute.But I didn't. I didn't even retort. I just remained silent and finished my work as she asked.It wasn't that hard, I was used to it, however, it was completely exhausting to deal with that superficial world. It was exhausting to be part of this superficial world.But it was my job and my life. I just needed to get used to swallowing, affirming, and smiling.— Whoops... Hey... Remembe
A familiar voice reached my eardrums along with the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs.— Backer?! — My blurry vision prevented me from understanding what her expression was when I saw myself sitting there in the middle of nowhere. I'd probably be confused. — Are you okay?All I could manage was to deny it with my head.— What happened? — his tone changed as he saw the tears come out of my red eyes.I meant. I tried to speak, to scream, but I couldn't.My mouth gasped for oxygen, not bothering to spell words.— Backer, God, what am I supposed to do? What do you need? I'm going to call an ambulance!Ian reached into his pocket, ready to enter the emergency number. I wanted to warn that I wouldn't give it time, but all I did was scratch my throat in desperation, begging her to help me breathe or speak.He put his phone away when he saw that he wouldn't have time for anything.— What do you need? Come here, try to talk to me,— Ian bent down to look at my eyes. — Talk
A very cold gale was ruffling all the hairs on my skin and making my teeth grind. Even though my body was all wrapped in warm sheets, I felt the temperature tear through my nerves and crack my bones.It wasn't even winter in Boston, why was it so cold? I fixed the heating of my apartment last month. Greg told me that the guy was trustworthy, but apparently he was already broken again!I turned from side to side, but when I got tired of the failed attempts to warm up, I finally opened my eyes. Immediately regret hit me, because the light was too intense, something that did not usually happen on normal days in my room filled with my grandmother's curtains. However, as soon as my eyelids blinked hundreds of times and my pupils got used to the environment, I realized that this was not my place.Where was I?It didn't take long for a man in sportswear to pop into my mind.Caccini.Fuck!I got up from the bed in a rush of desperation and took a thermal shock as I placed my feet on the ceram
I tried to come up with a foolproof plan that would take me under my comfy sheets, on top of a soft bed and propped up on a pillow made of clouds, but the slowness that lay in my reasoning made my thoughts terribly difficult.I was just vegetating, sitting with my back resting on the wood of the door, my legs curled up against my chest, struggling not to sleep there.If Flora saw me in that state, she would surely make fun of me for at least three months straight. In his mind, I was the most withered and responsible person I knew. But I never was.My white dress already contained the dust of the building highlighted in some details. My heels were abandoned next to me and the bottle of alcohol was already too hot for me to keep drinking.I was in my building, in my neighborhood, in my city, in front of my apartment, but I felt completely lost.— Backer?Something echoed in the back of my head, where some remnants of consciousness still stood firm.— Backer, what happened?When a sh
Flashes of all intensities flickered in my eyes as I walked the red carpet sprawled out on the floor of the mansion alone. I tried to dodge some and walk faster so journalists wouldn't start asking me embarrassing questions, but it didn't help much.— Alone again, Miss Backer?— — When will we see you with someone as handsome as you?— — What is your opinion about the high rate of anorexia in the fashion world?I entered the door of the party before it could be bombarded with further questioning. Rachel would kill me if I answered any of those questions, in her view that was just bait to end the career of any company.When I managed to get past the most public entrance, I arrived in front of a gigantic garden. Unfortunately due to the darkness of the cold night, you could barely tell how many colors of the most diverse types of flowers were there. But the quantity, organization and decoration of the entrance of the place was exuberant.I walked on an extremely transparent glass wa
— You look horrible!Louis saw me coming as soon as I entered the entrance hall of the building.— What hole did you dig yourself into, Angel? God!I showed my badge at the front desk as I listened to his thin voice.— How are you going to appear like that on television? She looks like a homeless woman! — Louis grimaced. — Is that milkshake on your shoe?I looked at my feet and saw drops of ice cream staining the black of the scarpan.— Damn!I pulled out some handkerchiefs that were on the front desk counter and tried to clean as much as I could.— Honey, I hope you're prepared to be swallowed alive!— We started walking towards the elevator when we were allowed to access the upstairs where the most important work took place.— On a scale of 01 to 10? — I questioned.— If 10 is an Amazonian jaguar four days without eating and 01 is a Siamese kitten, I think 10 is your answer.I cried.— Am I that bad?I tried to analyze myself in the metallic reflection of the ele
Joyce Wilson had saved me. Like it or not, his meddling made me wake up from Ian's mesmerizing kiss and come back to reality.My face began to catch fire as soon as our lips parted and I reasoned the situation in a way that my entire bone structure was beginning to shake.Fuck, what happened? Or rather, what was going to happen? Holy shit!My luck was that Joyce needed his help inside the apartment, which gave me the perfect opportunity to escape to mine without even looking him in the face. If I did, Ian would see my cheeks red like blood.I kissed my neighbor. A Caccini. A jerk.There are no words to express how much my heart was racing. How much more my body wanted. How soft his touch was. How embarrassed I was!Oh my god! I kissed Ian Caccini! Chelsea would have been completely baffled if this had happened in high school. Where was my head for surrendering so much?Whore who gave birth! How could I even see him again?Aaaaa!After fleeing the hallway without explanation, I tried h
I'd been in that apartment before when Ian's asshole crushed my foot, but I couldn't get much of a look at the details because he had just moved in. Now, a while later, the place had personality.Despite little furniture, it was noticeable his taste for rustic furniture and for a rock band unknown to me. There were a few pictures on the walls of the room and a little wooden table that accommodated the bottles of drinks. Little moonlight came in through the dark curtain that stood on the window and the gray color of the wall that didn't help in that regard.— Angel Backer, wow!A red— haired girl greeted me with a friendly smile.— I'm Joyce, that's Carlos, from Mexico, Gus you met and the mess there is Lydia! — his forefinger pointed to each.— Hey, why am I Carlos from Mexico? You shitty xenophobes! — the guy in the kitchen yelled angrily.I smiled shyly as the rest of the staff laughed.— Shut up, Carlos! I don't care about him. — Gus replied. — Change that song, Lydi
Three days of full belly. Three days of eating like a black hole occupied my stomach. Exactly three asleep like a baby in a hammock on the porch while my dad snored right next to him.I could spend years swaying in the fabric, feeling the cold breeze, the rattling of the leaves, the little birds talking non stop. It was the kind of life I longed for myself in the future when I was in college; A comfortable, happy and familiar daily life. Although I couldn't fulfill my little distant dream, I was content to come to the cottage and enjoy this illusion.It had been the perfect holiday, but unfortunately it came to an end when the rooster crowed on Sunday morning. So I knew right away that I had to pack my bags and leave for Boston at dusk.My family did not easily accept my farewell and organized an entire afternoon of chores. We played cards and chess while Dad put the beer to ice. My grandpa and grandma brought dominoes and some guava candy. Flora's playlist rang out around as we were
The red light came just as it was my turn to accelerate the car. Unfortunately, I had to wait a few more minutes before crossing the avenue and heading down the road to my hometown.I had finally gotten a weekend off. I was finally going to see my family after two months of not being able to visit them. In fact, Rachel had no choice but to release all staff because of a gas leak in the building's break room. If it weren't for the fireman repeating a thousand times that people were forbidden in, I bet the slut would still risk calling everyone to work normally.So for the first time in months, I had Friday, Saturday and Sunday free. It came just in time, as I couldn't stand the thought of being a few feet away from Ian's disturbing scent.After what happened at the front desk of our building, I didn't knock on his door demanding an apology, nor did I look him in the face when we bumped into each other on the stairs of the condo. Her behavior that evening was enough for me to understand
I adjusted the strap of my dress that insisted on falling on my shoulder and moved away from the hallway of my apartment.My stomach growled loudly even though I had a very late lunch. It felt like a black hole was perfectly settled in my stomach.I looked at the time on my wristwatch and saw that it was close to 5 p.m., a little earlier than I had imagined.At least it made sense on an empty stomach. With night coming, hunger was already knocking on the door as well. As I descended the stairs of the building I was already formulating in my mind a suitable snack to savor as I sat on the bench in the square.I thought of potato chips... Hm...Nope. I think a milkshake would be a good idea or a chocolate bar... A pizza? I don't know...The doubt consumed me, but I was already prepared to leave that building and walk to the hill where the neighborhood square was. I went downstairs like a rabbit, and when I arrived at the front desk to get my bag, the doorman wasn't there.— Greg? — I