4: No Need For A New Beta

FEYRE

I’m hooked to my spot, trying too hard to keep a straight face although I feel the pain overtaking every part of me. My wolf howls and whimpers in my head, I block her out, she isn't helping. Not right now. Alpha Zade is still sitting, his face a mask of annoyance and a little disbelief, like he can’t believe what he just said.

I shake everything off and square my shoulder, I can be an asshole too. Two can play whatever stupid game he is trying to play.

“What are you still doing here?” he asks with a huff, like my presence is an inconvenience for him.

Against everything I believe in, I feel tears spring to my eyes. The pain from the mate bond being severed is taking a toll on me, it hurts more because he looks bored, of all things and just irritated, while I’m here battling how to not crumble in his presence. I take in a shuddering breath and steel my spine, I sta—

A small yelp leaves my mouth when I feel the tight grasp of a hand on my arm, angry claws digging into my skin.

Before I can register what is happening, I feel myself being hauled out of the door. Alpha Zade pushes me roughly and turns around, he bangs the door to his office angrily, the sound resonates in the empty hall.

My hands start trembling and my lips quiver, the tears I’ve been trying so hard to keep at bay trail down my cheeks. I inhale a slow breath and try to think of where I’d followed to walk back to the front door.

I look like a mess, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall and small sniffs leaving my mouth. I don’t even know why I’m crying, I should be celebrating. He is an asshole and I’m better off without him, I never knew him anyways. I know all of this and I accept it, but I just can’t stop it. It is what the mate bond does to someone and I hate it more than ever now.

I’m still reeling, trying to think of where to follow to find the exit when I hear footsteps. I look around frantically, I don’t want to be seen like this, I look like a mess.

Quick, think! I try to urge myself and my brain to work, it doesn’t.

Multiple scents hit my nostrils, the footfalls coming louder still. That seems to spur me on and I finally break away from the spell that has me hooked, my legs move and I run blindly. Going the opposite way from where I was hearing the voices. With the tears now drying on my face, I keep running, hearing the loud beat of my heart in my ears from the adrenaline.

I take multiple turns and pass through a few doors. I get lost when I reach a dead end but I somehow manage to find the front door after that.

When I reach the front door, I don’t stop to think, I just push it open and run out. I keep running and running, I don’t stop until I reach the border of the Darkmoon pack, even then I don’t stop. I run through the woods, jumping over branches and twigs like they are nothing. I want to shift into my wolf form but I don’t want to go through the trouble of finding what to wear when I get back.

I ran past the people around our pack’s border, not bothering to say. I can feel their confusion and worry and some try to mindlink but I’m not in the right frame of mind to give a response, I block them out and keep going. I reach my room and immediately get into bed, lying face down on it. I don’t know when the loud sobs start pouring out of my mouth.

I can’t even remember the last time I cried.

I hate that asshole. That fucking arrogant piece of shit.

I grip my pillow in my fist and scream into it, hoping it muffles the sound. It is still too loud but hopefully not loud enough for anyone to hear. I may be in the middle of having a mental breakdown but I’m still the beta and weakness is not something I like to show.

I don’t know how long I cry, it may be a few minutes though it seems like hours. At some point, I knew the tears stopped, or the sobbing, one of the two stopped and I tried giving myself a pep talk.

I’m good on my own. I never needed a mate anyway. That thought is enough to get out of the dark corner I unknowingly slipped into. I sit up and angrily wipe my face, I have a meeting with Asher and the last thing I want him to notice is how bad this went. Then again, he’d given me the advice.

Talk to him, he said. Don’t judge him from just one interaction, my foot. I should have trusted my gut. My gut knows best and it knows Alpha Zade is an arrogant prick that is too full of himself.

He thought I wanted to be his luna. I scoff out loud at the thought, wishing I’d said every single nasty thing that is coming to my head right now to his face. It is unfortunate that I only think of the best comebacks when the fight is long over, then I’ll be left thinking if I should just start another argument just to say what’s on my mind.

There’s a single knock on my door and it is opened, I pull my pillow away and look up, only to meet familiar green eyes. Asher walks into the room, his brows creased in worry. He settles into the bed beside me, then reaches for my hand, I immediately move closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around my waist.

I breathe out and clear my throat. Asher doesn’t say anything, I think he already knows what happened, the people that saw me running must have already called to inform him I was acting strange. We are a close and tight knit pack, we’re all family here. I don’t usually pass by anyone without at least stopping to say hi, I know how I acted must have been a cause for concern.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers after about five minutes in relative silence. I don’t tell him it is not his fault though the good part of me wants to, the part that was just rejected after being insulted by her mate blames him for convincing me to even go. I’d made up my mind about never seeing that piece of shit’s face again, he coerced me into seeing him and now—I shake my head. I don’t even want to think of that.

“I shouldn’t have made you go there, I take full responsibility.” Asher strokes my back comfortingly. The act is so familiar, everything about this. Me having a bad day and him comforting me. Many people hoped we would be each other’s mate but what I feel for Asher is nothing but platonic love. He is pretty much my brother.

Just the thought of him as anything more than that is kind of incestuous. 

“It is not your fault,” I say with a heavy sigh. The good part of me winning this argument. I bring my legs up and fold them Indian style so I would be more comfortable. I try to move, Asher tightens his hold so I just give up fighting and let him hold me. “Well, not entirely.”

He nods and purses his lips, another apology on the tip of his tongue I’m sure.

“It is not a bad thing though, now at least I know I’ll have no regrets.” I shrug my shoulders, sounding more confident than I would have thought with all that has happened. It is not every day you get rejected by your mate.

When your mate is the biggest jerk in the world, I guess I should just accept my win and call it a day.

“What exactly happened?” Asher asks, moving back and holding me at arm’s length. The position is not very comfortable on the bed so I move back, putting more distance between us so I can face him.

“He went off about how I wanted to be his luna but he won’t, bla, bla, bla and rejected me after i told him to.”I shortened it, changing the wordings. I don’t think I can repeat them. That is a terrible blow to my self-respect. Asher is too polite to say anything and I know he won’t make fun of it, but the problem isn’t him, it is me. I can’t believe Alpha Zade dared to do that.

“But he knows you’re a beta right? And you’re very happy being one?” I shrug my shoulders. He hadn’t stopped to even have a five minute conversation to know that.

“I also have the best boss in the world,” I feel the need to say. Asher throws his head back, laughing as he pushes me back playfully.

“My head is about to explode,” he gloats and I roll my eyes. He can be dramatic when he wants to. “But for real, you know you’re amazing in your right, yeah?” I nod, clearing my throat because it suddenly feels tight. “And it doesn’t matter what anyone says, you’re one of the best people I know and the pack is lucky to have you.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Hey look at the bright side,” I cock a brow and he smiles widely, like a kid on his first pack run. “I don’t have to go looking for a new beta.”

“That really is a good thing,” I decide to play along, laughing when he does. “I’ve been told I’m irreplaceable.” I add, this time he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” he lies down on his back and I lay beside him. Both our legs are on the floor. Having him here makes me almost forget everything that happened today. “Wanna know someth—“a knock cuts him off. Asher groans and sits up. “I’d just found the best spot.” He growls annoyed.

“It is open,” I said loudly to the person behind the door. The door is pushed open and one of the new trainees in the pack, those fresh out of college, Vienna, walks into the room. She looks a little nervous and her energy instantly fills the room. She looks from me, I’m still lying on my back, to Asher, who is sitting and staring at the door and her cheeks heat.

All the girls have a crush on him.

“Alpha, beta.” She greets both of us, bowing lower when she faces Asher.

“Vienna, is everything okay?” he asks her, she clears her throat and points at the door. Dancing from one foot to the other.

“Erm, there is a man here to see you.” She says, speaking so fast the words almost come out incoherent. It takes Asher a few seconds to realize what she meant, I laugh at that and nod to her.

“Do you know who he is or what he might want?” she shakes her head immediately.

“W-we, we couldn’t ask. He wants to see you.” I place a hand on my chest in the universal ‘me’ sign and she nods.

“Alright, I’ll be out in a minute. Take him to the alpha’s meeting room.” She bows again and quickly rushes out of the room.

“Maybe it is your alpha.” I turn and glare at Asher, he only laughs as he stands up, holding his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying. No one can see you and easily let go, I’m sure he is here to beg and apologize for being a pain in the you know where,” I roll my eyes, not knowing what to say.

I try to ignore the way my heart blooms at the possibility of Alpha Zade doing that. I already know it is impossible so I kill that hope. I’m not even sure why I care. It is not like I like him.

“I’ll welcome him while you change.” He easily slips out of the room while I get up. One look at my crumbled shirt makes me head to my closet.

I change into a t-shirt and jeans, the most dressed down I can be. I do nothing to my hair, having zero motivation to mess with it. When I walk into Asher’s office, the person I see is the last man on earth I would have expected.

It isn't Alpha Zade, but an older almost identical version of him. Except this man’s gray eyes are warm. He can be no one but Alpha Zade’s father.

What is he doing here?