“Earth to Kayla!” Elisa taps me on the temple with her pen and makes me jump out of my daydream with a start.“What?” I was miles away, lost in brain fog and a million stupid thoughts about last night.“You were so close to drooling with a wide mouth and vacant expression that it was frightening. I thought the body snatchers had gotten you.” Elisa smiles, jesting, and turns back to face forward, pulling her notebook closer and carrying on. Her red hair sweeping down to half conceal her face again, and I often wonder how that does not annoy her. Writing through her hair on her splayed notebook. “We’re copying from the projector, by the way… in case you have no idea what we are doing!” She points out, raising her pen to gesture in front of us, and I blink ahead, seeing an entirely new slide of notes our lab tech has put up for us. We’re in Biology, normally one of my favorite classes, and I have spent most of it zoned out. If I am being honest, this is how my entire day has gone, and th
“I wish I didn’t.” I drop back to my arms propped on the desk, resting my chin in my palms, and watch her scribble notes. No will to do it myself. She is as diligent as always. She has them word for word, highlighted, and added notations. She has been keeping up with the slide changes while I have been pondering everything wrong with my day. “Life would be so much simpler if I still hated him.”“You never hated him,” Elisa replies far too quickly and seems annoyingly know it all. She didn’t even have the grace to lift her face from taking notes to say it.“I did so.” I point out in slight irritation.“Nope… never. You got annoyed by him, angry at him, even upset, but I don’t think you have ever actually hated him. You would cave fast the second you thought anything bad was happening with him…. Dane has always been your Achilles heel.”I open my mouth to deny it and then don’t. I stop and ponder this for a long moment and find no argument in her statement.It makes me feel all the more
My head scrambles into sense faster than when he did this to me last night, and even though Dane kissing me is quickly becoming a weakness, my sense of indignation intervenes and push him away. Not quite ready to jump into smooching without him having said very much at all. It’s so sudden, and too much is going on in my head after being avoided all day to be satisfied with a kiss.“You can’t just make a statement like that and then kiss me…. This isn’t us talking about it. This is you just informing me of your intention and then acting on it. If that’s even what this is…. I’m not a mind reader, Dane. I need actual words!” I don’t even know why I have an issue with this. He’s doing what my heart has wanted for a long while. He wouldn’t kiss me like this if he didn’t intend something to happen with us, so I don’t know where the doubt stemmed from. He’s pushed me away enough times to prove it.“I figured actions speak louder than words. A kiss is pretty self-explanatory.” Dane brushes cl
I cannot calm the internal flutterings and speedy heart rate while I wait for Dane to appear. Pacing around the kitchen like some demented freak because we agreed to change clothes and come in here as soon as Monique leaves to run errands. No one else is home, and we’ll be alone for at least an hour before my mom returns. I cannot focus on anything, and my appetite evades me, so making a snack is pointless. It’s been a whole thirty minutes since we got back, but as Monique is vacuuming the hall, I know Dane is probably taking his time to change and come down. It made more sense than going to one of our rooms and being unable to explain that if we got caught together, seeing as we have not been friends while living here.Not that it should matter, as we’re allowed to be in the same room at the same time without it being weird, but I guess we both needed some space once we got here. I know I did.I’m a frazzled mess of nerves.“Hey, sexy.” Dane swaggers in, seemingly not in the same st
“Stop making me feel like there’s something wrong with me for it. I’m not cool with that. I hate when you say it.” I point out, breaking my mild temper and sighing, that this topic brought a real issue I had not even considered to my doorstep.Sex.My heart sinks now that it’s glaringly obvious and in my face and a hurdle we have to cross.Dane is used to it, seems to have it frequently and I am so not even close to being someone ready to take that step. I haven't even thought about it and what having a boyfriend changes, given I don’t want to go there yet. That’s a whole other thing I never considered in what we were starting. I don’t even know when he expects it.Is it weird to want him, want to date him, but not want to have sex with him? The mere thought of sex gives me sweats and has my heart palpitating in cold-blooded fear.“There’s nothing wrong with it….I’m sorry…. I’ll stop. It’s a non-issue.” Dane slides closer to me, lifting his hand to trace a thumb across my cheek before
Dane leads the way to the two over-plumped cream sofas in our TV lounge and heads to put the glasses on the center oak coffee table. In here, it’s comfy and peaceful and not that big a room, and as he swoops to turn on a channel, I know it’s in case anyone comes home and wonders why we are in here together. It’s not like we often hang out to watch a show together, if ever. He sets it to medium volume, just enough to cover our voices should we fail to hear anyone return, like Monique or my mom. And can confidently say this is all easily explainable should a surprise parent walk in.“So….” he finally turns, watching how I slide down into the comfiness of stuffed seating and follows to sit beside me. The way we are turned has us knee to knee, yet it somehow feels closer.“So…” the nervousness still lingers, and my hands get clammier, my chest heaving because this is making me weirdly antsy. It feels like we have reached the step off point to things getting real. “I guess we figure this
“If you know how….have ability…then why have you been jumping on me for every class project since forever? Why not just do the work?” I snap, somehow incensed that all thesi time he let me believe he was incapable and uneducated and he could do it all this time. “You’ve been acting dumb, lazy, and lying this whole time.”Dane shrugs, leans back to his previous position, and lounges with an infuriating gleam in his eye.“Hey…I never once said I couldn’t do the work, just that I didn’t want to…that’s not a lie… Besides, I got to bug you and hang out…I also didn’t give my dad any reason to act like a proud father of the year… really, Babe… I gave you a chance to shine and become the family's golden child.”“You’re….” The words die on my tongue, and I exhale in sheer frustration at this stubborn ass and his flawed logic. Annoyed by him and his outright arrogance.“Smarter than I look? I know….sexier than you want to admit? True…. Pissing you off….for sure, but I still like you. Don’t be m
“Are you not feeling well, honey? You have barely touched your food.” My mom breaks my daydreamy gaze at the half-finished meal I was pushing around with my fork, and I sit up in guilty response. Clearing my throat and pasting on a brighter, less zoned-out expression. I had been lost in my mind as everything that happened today caught up with me. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone.“What, um no…I’m just tired and not that hungry.” I try not to glance to my left where Dane is sitting, seeing as he decided to join us for dinner tonight after we spent an hour making out on the couch before anyone came home. The guilt and awkwardness in me are strong, and I’m not convinced my mom cannot see a change in me or suspect my chapped lips were not from forgetting lip balm like I told her.I guess I am partly sitting here like a zombie because I’m trying to adjust to this bare-faced lie of an existence now we are all together. When she got home, I had to lie to her to explain my disheveled appe
I nod, beaming brightly and gazing around our home for the next few years. We only moved in a couple of months ago after a hellish separation, living in segregated dorms. We had roommates who were not great and time spent together was minimal given we were separated across a huge campus and we both had curfews. Long hours studying and little hours being together had made me really miserable. I missed sleeping beside Dane more than anything, and then my dad surprised us on Dane’s birthday with the keys to this place. Bryan coughed up the money to furnish it. A five-minute walk to school for us both and a reunion we both badly needed.One thing my parents did agree on, Dane’s, too, was that throughout our college years, we would not work to support ourselves. They wanted our full attention on study, so they paid our way, gave us allowances, and keep us in a life we were accustomed to while living at home. We’re spoiled, and now we get to be spoiled together.In the first months of coll
FinaleThree years later“You all packed?” Dane wanders in from the lounge to our bedroom where I am zipping up my case, having just finished. Looking rested and chill, given it’s day one of our break from classes.“Yup. You can take it to the car.”“Did you bring warm clothes for London? It’ll be freezing compared to Florida. Bring a jacket, too.”“I listened to you the first time. Everything is in there…that’s why I have such a big case.” I smile, gazing at the handsomeness of my beloved as he slides my luggage from the bed, leaning in to kiss me on the temple. Despite it being a daily occurrence and my having his affection for more than three years now, he still gives me heart flutters anytime he touches me. I almost melt with the gooey warmth of his smile and the attention he gives me.I guess now we attend different lectures all day, every day, I don’t see him as much as I used to, and it makes me long for him more.“Good girl.” He drops it to the floor, extends the handle as he
Dane brushes himself down with a grimace even though she didn’t touch him and turns our way before hitting me with a bright, sexy smile, and he closes the gap between us. Forgetting all about that shrew.“Miss me? Look, such a good boy all enrolled back in school .” he holds up his forms with glee as though serving me some great achievement certificate, and I reach up and ruffle his hair before patting his head.“Such a good boy. I’ll reward you later.”“You can reward me now…teacher still ain't here.” Dane winks, leaning in as though he plans on kissing me and I shove him off and move around my desk to put distance between us. It’s one thing announcing your status but yet another entirely to make out while half the class is openly gawping at Dane for his sudden return.“Behave,” I warn and lean out to pat his cheek, seeing as he looks like a sulky child now.There's chatter around us, and I hear his name mentioned subtly as Charmaigne charges back in, looking ferocious as hell. Her m
“You are very energetic and happy today? Is it because your boyfriend is returning?” I tease Tyler as he almost bounces into the row behind us in the first class of the week. Throwing his bag down and grabbing Elisa by the head to plant a dramatic kiss right on her crown. I spent the last few days at home settling Bryan in and getting used to the new strained dynamic at home, and I am glad to be back here. As nice as it was to have so much time home and spend a lot of it with Dane, it still felt like we were walking on eggshells around my mom, and it was taking a mental toll. Life is adjusting, though, and my mom really is keeping her mouth shut, even when she walks in on us, cuddling or kissing.“He’s been so excited; it’s actually cute… can’t deny the bromance is strong in those two, and I pale in comparison.” Elisa pipes in, grinning back at him with her funny dig over the chair she’s half-turned in, and he leans forward to peck her on the tip of her nose.“Bestie love does not ev
“We can go to my study…Dane, just Kayla.” She adds as though he will follow and he probably was going to, but she’s right. Something started between her and I and should be resolved that way. Dane has been shielding me too much lately because of my inability to face more drama. I need to put my big girl panties back on. Her and Dane have nothing to say to one another anyway, and he will only put her on the defensive, which I want to avoid.“I’ll be close by….just yell if you need me…… Very close by.” Dane doesn’t lower his voice; instead gets louder with his warning tone, making it obvious to my mom that he doesn’t trust her, and I pat his arm to get him to release me.I slide out of his arms and follow my mom out of the kitchen, across the hall, and into the study without looking back, even though I can feel all their eyes follow me out. Already, my insides are like a washing machine because I do not know what exactly she intends to say to me.My mom is being weirdly quiet, too, and
“You four are making me feel chronically single.” Hannah huffs, pushing the cans of soda across the breakfast bar towards Elisa as Tyler opens up some bags of chips for us to share. We have a stack of pizza boxes waiting to dive into and a plan to darken the nook to spend the day eating junk and watching movies. Dane and I are too tired for anything else and feel like we are on some emotional comedown after a month of hell.“What happened to your Korean boyfriend? That distance could not separate you from?” Dane chimes in with obvious sarcasm oozing, while leaning into me from behind to deposit the dip we made. It’s clear to me that teasing Hannah is a full-time occupation when they are in the same room. She really is like his annoying younger sister, even if she is our age.“I am devoted to Min Yoongi, but I would like to experience a present boyfriend. Someone I can touch and laugh with.” Hannah sulks slightly, clearly regretting her life choices.“I can’t imagine anyone would want
My Dad never calls me, rarely picks mine up, and never texts either. So, seeing it now, flashing so invasively on my phone is enough to make my heart thud through my chest painfully.“Do you want me to give you space to take it?” Dane interrupts my obvious inability to move, breaking the spell it’s cast over me.“No…stay!” A sense of panic grips my stomach and throat, and the sudden cold wash of nerves sobers my good mood. Instantly afraid of what he is calling me for even though, logically, I know.My mom must have called him, or Bryan, at least.Maybe he wants to clarify…I don’t even know.“Are you going to answer it or keep staring at it?” Dane interrupts the deer in the headlight motion of me holding it at half arm’s length, and I blink at it, then him, and shake my head.“Do you need me to do it?”“I don’t know.” I sound terrified. I don’t think I have it in me to answer the call. There is so much grey area when it comes to my dad. So many times I have been hurt by him that faci
“Well, this is depressing.” Dane wheels his case into his old barren bedroom, gazing around at the emptiness even though all his furniture is still there. “It feels like someone else's room.”All the personality is gone without his things in here, and it smells like a fresh, floral hotel, thanks to Monique. His art, posters, pictures, trinkets and books are all gone, leaving empty walls, shelves, and surfaces where he used to have such an array of masculine things, more so after he moved in here permanently and brought it all from his mom’s house.“Imagine how it made me feel watching it get this way….you’re an ass.” I throw him a mock glare and get a kiss blown back at me.“I wanted you to miss me.” He winks and goes back to his case. In a happy mood ever since we started packing to come here.I gaze around, infected by his happiness, and yet sigh at the memories of being in here without him.Even the lack of his laundry tossed on the floor somehow makes this place impersonal. The be
“There’s a lot that this test result will change….I know now is probably not the best time to talk about where we go from here. You probably need to process it the same way we did, but I want you to know….I'm not going back to the UK. I’ll sort it out myself. Enroll back in school, find somewhere to stay, maybe with Tyler….” Dane sounds so far removed from the immature rebel of months ago who was forever making my life hell and living stupidly. He sounds like this experience has aged him so much.He has a sensible head on, his eyes set on the future and he’s not reacting one ounce to my mom. It’s like she no longer has any affect on him.“You’ll move back home, there is no argument in that. I’ll call the school and arrange for you to go in and re-enroll. I’ll call your mom and explain things. Don’t worry about anything. I told you, didn’t I… always your home and whenever you wanted to come back.”For being the fragile one here, Bryan seems to be the one most resigned and okay with thi