Simula

Monday night and drunk in the bar. The loud music was banging my ears, the floor and the bar stool I’m sitting on was vibrating from the loud beat of the music. Parang may lindol dahil sa malakas na tunog ng musika at sabay-sabay na pagtalon ng mga tao para sumabay sa musika.

Habang sila ay nagsisiya, ako naman ay lasing na nakaupo sa bar stool habang hawak-hawak ang ika-sampung bote ng beer ko at nakamukmok ang mukha sa bar counter.

Napaungol ako nang may bumangga sa akin sa ikatatlong pagkakataon. Sa sobrang saya at likot nila ay may natatamaan ako. Ang sarap pag-untog-untugin! Kung hindi lang siguro ako lasing ay baka nakipag-away na ako sa kung sino man iyong nakabangga sa akin, ni hindi man lang humingi ng pasensya.

Why am I drinking alone in a bar again like my boyfriend just broke up with me? I didn't have a boyfriend at the moment, no one broke up with me. So no, that was not the reason. The reason was because of my mother's last will she left before she died.

She requested that her daughters should be sent to their father's care. That’s me and my sister, Cassie. That was a big problem for me considering that I hate my father with all of my heart. He cheated on Mama, he hurt her and I cound never forgive him for leaving us for his mistress.

I just couldn't believe Mama would request something like that in her will, she knew how much I hated Papa. Pero wala akong magagawa, gusto kong respetuhin ang kagustuhan ni Mama kahit na ayaw ko. Iyon nalang ang magagawa ko para sa kaniya, at hindi naman pwedeng idamay ko ang kapatid ko sa galit ko kay Papa.

She still adored him, she was still communicating with him through phone. She also kept mentioning that she missed him, and when I announced that we were moving in to his house in Estrella Lanca, she was so happy.

I felt bad for leaving her in our neighbour's house but I didn't want to accidentally burst my frustration on her.

Kaylangan ko na sigurong umuwi, baka hinahanap niya ako dahil gabing-gabi na rin. Posibleng tulog na siya subalit kaylangan ko pa ring umuwi.

Tinulak ko ang ulo ko palayo sa bar counter, pinahiran ko ang laway na tumulo sa gilid ng labi ko at saka inubos ang panghuling beer na hawak ko. Masakit na ang ulo ko sa sobrang dami ng ininom ko, nanghihina na rin ang katawan ko at nangangatog ang mga binte nang tumayo. Muntikan akong matumba, mabuti nalang ay may lalaking nakatayo sa gilid ko at nakasandal ako sa kaniya bago ako matumba.

Tila nagulat ito sa akin dahil mabilis siyang umatras, pero hinawakan niya ang magkabilang braso ko para patayuin ako nang tuwid. My eyes were half-closed, but I didn't think I was drunk yet.

Maybe I'm just tipsy? Why is my legs wobbling?

"Uh, Miss? Excuse me." Nagambala ako sa baritono at lalaking-lalaking boses niya. Kumunot ang noo ko, tiningala ko ang kataasan nito at inaninag ang itsura niya kahit na medyo madilim.

I dramatically gasped when I visioned him properly after staring at him for a long time. He was a handsome, tall man. I think he has a tan skin, his face is oval, his jaw is squared and his jawline was chiseled. His dark eyes were the first thing you would notice, it was the only bright thing that was glowing in the dark and wide room.

He has a thin, soft-looking lips, a thick well-shaped brows and a long pointed nose. His aura screamed dominance and authoritative, my first guess was that he's a lawyer because that's what suited his face and poise, or someone who’s studying law. He still looked young, his face was flawless.

"Ah!" I dropped my whole weight on him while laughing. "Oh my god, you're handsome!" I stated the obvious, my shoulder shaking from my light giggling.

His brows furrowed, he looked around like he was figuring out if I was alone or not. When he's still wasn't sure, he returned his gaze back to me.

"Are you alone?" he asked.

I was glad I managed to still hear him despite the loud music. "Uhuh, don't mind me, handsome. I'm just tipsy okay? I'm just tipsy!"

"I don't think you're just tipsy, kid."

My eyes widened because of what he called me. "Anong pinagsasasabi mo? Twenty years old na ako, hindi ba halata? Mukha na ba talaga akong teenager sa mukha kong 'to?"

I was lying because my real age was nineteen. I'm already in my legal age to go drinking in bar but I felt like people would still judge me since I was still considered as a teenager.

Naramdaman ko ang marahang pagtulak niya sa akin para pabalikin ako paupo sa bar stool. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kasuotan niya nang hindi ko namamalayan. Nakasuot siya ng puting long-sleeved shirt partnered with a light denim jeans. There was also a loosed necktie around the collar of his shirt which hinted that he also didn't originally plan to go drinking like I was.

I only wore a dark jeans and a crew-neck shirt. My boring, straight, long hair were just slumped over my shoulder. My fair ivory skin looked pale, anyone would mistaken me as a vampire. My face is in shape of a heart, I have a pointed chin and dark brown eyes, naturally thick eyebrows and a small pointed nose. My simplicity looked cheap and boring compared to him, it was probably a turn off because of the look he was giving me.

'Edi siya na ang gwapo!

"You're twenty? Are you sure or are you just drunk and lying?" His hands stayed on my arms to keep me in place, we both knew I would fall once he let go of me.

Matamis ko siyang nginitian, singkit ang mga mata at mahinang tumatawa. "Of course, I'm not lying. Why do you think I'm here if I am? How did you think I got in?"

Hindi pa rin siya kumbinsado sa kasinungalingan ko, ang bukas ng mukha ay tila may pagkastrikto. Kahit na simple lang ang suot niya ay parang nakakakaba siyang tignan.

Napanguso ako, bumaba ang tingin ko sa mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa magkabilang braso ko. Hinawi ko ito at naupo paharap sa bar counter, kinuha ko ang bag ko na nasa taas ng counter at hinalukay ang loob para hanapin ang wallet ko.

Sinadya ko yatang ubusin ang pera ko, sa bagay si Papa naman 'diba ang bubuhay sa amin? Responsibilidad niya na buhayin kami, hindi ko na kaylangan magtabi pa ng pera para sa amin ng kapatid ko. Kung pag-iisipan nga ng mabuti ay tama ang naging desisyon ni Mama, hindi ko pa kayang buhayin nang mag-isa si Cassie. Ni wala nga akong alam sa buhay, senior high school na ako at magtatapos na pero wala pa rin akong alam kung anong kurso ang kukuhanin ko sa kulehiyo.

Kumuha ako ng limang daan sa wallet ko, tinawag ko ang bartender at winagayway ang pera. The intimidating, handsome man was already seated on the bar stool beside me and was already ordering his own drink. It was just an alcohol drink in a small glass.

"Ah, you just got here? Akala ko kakatapos mo lang at aalis ka na." Tanong ko sa kaniya nang makapagbayad na ako. Hinarap ko siya muli at tinignan kung anong alak ang binili niya. "That alcohol doesn't look familiar to me, what is it?"

He cocked his head at me with his furrowed eyebrows and ignored my question. "Uuwi ka na?"

"Oo sana eh..."

"Uuwi kang mag-isa? Walang susundo sayo?"

"Wala akong kaibigan, tapos 'yong nanay ko naman ay wala na. 'Yong papa ko nasa kabit niya, 'yong kapatid ko ay 10 years old pa lang. Wala akong matatawagan para sunduin ako, kuya." Natakpan ko ang bibig ko dahil sa tinawag ko sa kaniya, inosente akong ngumiti at inabot ang kamay sa kaniya para tapikin ang balikat niya. "Ay, sir pala! Wait, ilang taon ka na nga ba?"

Hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nasa balikat niya at binaba ito. Nakatitig siya sa akin nang mabuti, para bang may pinag-iisipan siya. Hinintay ko ang sagot niya sa tanong ko dahil totoong curious ako. Para kasi siyang binata na ewan. He looked young yet matured and intimidating.

"I'm twenty-five," he answered. "Are you sure you can go home by yourself?"

I hummed, giggling. "Yep, magta-taxi lang naman ako saka d’yan lang naman bahay ko. But are you really twenty-five? You're a bit old pala."

His expression suddenly changed, he now looked offended because of what I said. "Is twenty-five old for you? You said you're twenty."

My lips formed a thin line, I counted our age gap with my fingers. It was five, but I told him it was twenty so it should be four, right?

I'm not great with Math.

I showed him five of my fingers. "I already think that's a huge age gap."

The side of his lips tugged, he drank his drink bottoms up and then stood up. I was confused when he paid for his drink already when he just got here. He looked down to me and his gaze lowered down to the bag I was holding.

"Ihahatid na kita, may kotse akong dala."

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Hindi ako sumasama sa taong hindi ko kilala."

"Just a moment ago you were talking to me like we were friends," pagpupunto niya.

"Baka friendly lang ako, 'diba?" Nakatingala ako sa kaniya habang nakangiti, nahilo ako saglit sa kakatingala. Umaapekto na yata ang alak sa sistema ko, ang dami ko rin yatang nainom.

My head fell down forward, he failed to catch me with his hand but his crotch didn't though. It only took a few seconds for me to realize that my face was literally on his crotch. It even smelled nice and it felt bulky against my nose. Mahina akong natawa, siya naman ay naitulak ang noo ko palayo sa alaga niya.

Tumingala muli ako sa kaniya, nakaiwas siya ng tingin at masyadong madilim para mag-akusa ako na n*******n siya dahil duon. Lahat naman ng lalaki ay ganoon 'diba? 'Yong last boyfriend ko nga gusto makipagtalik kaya nakipagbreak siya sa akin nang inayawan ko siya.

"Basta, hindi ako sasama sayo. I can take care of myself, and I am not drunk!" I folded my arms over my chest, I rolled my eyes at him and looked away. I was not even sure if he saw that, I hope he did though.

"Fine, if you really insist." Parang sumuko na siya kaagad sa akin, hindi ko alam kung bakit nadismaya ako.

Bumalik siya sa bar stool at muling um-order ng alak, nakanguso lang ako habang pinapanood siya. Hindi nakalampas sa akin ang paggalaw ng panga niya habang naghihintay sa drink niya, ang kamay niya sa taas ng counter ay tumatapik dito.

I bit the inside of my cheek, waiting for him to talk to me again. But his drink was served and he was still silent and ignoring me. He held the small glass of the unfamiliar alcohol, circling the ice inside before drinking. His adams apple moved while his eyes was closed. Based from the expression he made after he finished the glass, I could tell the alcohol was strong.

I leaned forward, hugging my bag and resting my head on the counter while facing him.

"Bakit ka nga pala nandito at mukhang problemado?" I asked slowly.

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, his brows slightly moved. "Oh, you're still here?"

"Just answer my question," I grumbled.

"What about you tell me your reason first before I tell you mine."

"Ang dali naman non, sige." Umayos ako ulit ng upo, maligaya na pinapansin niya na ako ulit. Humarap ako sa kaniya na may ngiti sa labi, yakap-yakap pa rin ang bag ko. "Bukas kasi ay uuwi si Papa para tulungan kaming mag-impake ng kapatid ko. Lilipat na kami next week sa bahay ng Papa namin kasama 'yong kabit niya. Wala na si Mama at hindi ko pa kayang buhayin mag-isa ang kapatid ko."

Inikot niya ang stool niya paharap sa akin, hawak-hawak ang kaniyang ikatatlong baso ng alak. His legs were spread, he was holding his glass with both his hands in front of him.

"You hate your father?"

I hummed. "Yep, I hate him so much, and that's why I'm here. It's your turn now, what's your reason why you're drinking?"

"I can't go back now, can I?"

"Nope. You have to keep your words."

He sighed, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright, sasabihin ko lang 'yong dahilan at hindi na ako magpapaliwanag."

Napangiwi ako. Gusto kong umayaw pero baka hindi niya pa sabihin ang dahilan niya kung magreklamo pa ako.

Atubili akong tumango. "Sige, bahala ka."

"Uuwi na ako sa amin bukas."

Nanliit ang mga mata ko dahil wala na siyang dinagdag pa. Napairap ako sa kaniya, wala sa sarili kong inagaw ang alak na hawak niya at tinungga ito. Nang malasahan ito ng dila ko ay mabilis ko itong dinura pabalik sa baso at binalik sa kaniya. Nilabas ko ang dila ko at mahinang napatili.

"Anong klaseng alak 'yan, sobrang tapang! Tangina!"

He looked surprised and flustered, sitting there immobile and holding the alcohol I spat out. He blinked twice before letting out a heavy breath, shaking his head and dropping the glass on the counter.

Pinilig ko nang marahas ang ulo ko sa kaniya, hindi makapaniwala "Paano mo naiinom 'yan?"

"God, you're unbelievable." He chuckled, he ran his fingers through his hair as he stared at me with an amused look on his face. "Are you single?"

Natigilan ako sa naging tanong niya, ginantihan ko ang kakaibang tingin na binigay niya sa akin. It wasn't the look that he was giving me before. The way he was looking at me now was different and intense. My heart started beating insanely fast inside my chest, I just felt chills ran down my spine.

Ang hiyang hindi ko naramdaman ko kanina ay ngayon ko lang naramdaman.

"O-oo, single ako. Bakit?"

"Do you wanna hook up?"

My eyes widened, my cheeks reddened and my whole face suddenly felt warm.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Uh, I-i haven't had sex yet."

"Have you experienced kissing though?"

"I-i mean, I did have boyfriends and were intimate with them but I really never had sex yet. I-i'm a virgin."

His eyes moved down to my lips, he rolled his tongue over his lips and smirked mischievously.

"Let's kiss then, make out and see where it goes from there."

Halos hindi ako makahinga, kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko habang napapatingin din sa mga labi niya. Mukhang malambot ito, natural rin na mapula. Sinabi ko nang may binabalak siya eh, naghihintay lang siya ng pagkakataon. Pero bakit parang natutukso pa ako sa kaniya, bakit parang interesado pa ako sa alok niya?

Ganito ba ang impluwensya ng alak o baka gusto ko lang talaga?

Before I knew it, I was standing up and closing the gap between us. I grabbed his face and kissed him, closing my eyes tightly and savoring how his lips taste. It tasted like his strong alcohol, but it was tolerable now and mixed with something sweet. He immediately returned my kisses, his hands crawling around my waist.

He smirked over my lips. "Where to?" he asked huskily.

Parang may mga paro-parong nagsisiliparan sa tiyan ko nang pisilin niya ang bewang ko. Mahina akong napaungol, ang braso ko ay pumapalupot sa leeg niya. Tila nabuhayan ang buong katawan ko, nagugustuhan ang apekto ng mga salita at ng mga ginagawa niya sa akin.

"In your car," I answered.