Kabanata 1

“SAM, PWEDE bang pakiabot ng cellphone ko sa bag?” tanong ni Papa sa akin.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at nanatiling nakadungaw sa bintana ng kotse, nakaupo sa backseat at pinapanood ang magandang tanawin ng dagat. Nakasuot ang earphones sa magkabilang tenga ko kahit na walang kantang tumutugtog dito.

I’ve avoided him ever since he arrived at our house, he stayed there for straight a week to help us pack all of our things. Ang iba naming mga kagamitan ay nasa likod ng cargo ng pick-up car na sinasakyan namin.

“Ate, kinakausap ka ni Papa!” Tawag ni Cassie sa atensyon ko. Nakaupo siya sa passenger seat katabi si Papa na nagmamaneho ng sasakyan, ang hula ko ay masama na ang tingin niya sa akin ngayon. Hindi ko man makita pero ramdam ko iyon.

Papa’s bag was just beside me but I pretended not to hear him. I bopped my head slightly, tapping my fingers on my thigh while mouthing some unintelligible words from a song that doesn’t exist.

I heard him sigh, he chose to stop the car on the side of the road to get the bag himself. He reached for it with his hand, I didn’t bother to look at him. My eyes never left the ocean, the waves and the birds flying on the bright blue sky looked beautiful, but I wasn’t really enjoying it.

Estrella Lanca was a beautiful town, the place was peaceful compared to Manila. The beaches are amazing, the water is clear and the sands are white. Pero hindi naman ako masyadong mahilig sa dagat, at ang bahay ni Papa na lilipatan namin ay malapit sa dagat. Hindi na rin bago sa akin ang white sand at malinaw na tubig, I’ve been to Boracay, Palawan and in Siargao as well, ‘yong kasama ko palagi sa pag-travel ay si Mama.

Ngayon ay alam ko na kung bakit hindi niya naiisipang mag-travel dito kahit na ilang beses ko itong nabanggit sa kaniya noon. Ito pala ang bayan a kinalakihan ni Papa, kung saan naninirahan din ang kabit niya.

We’ve been driving for five hours already and I think I slept three times in that hours. I was so bored, and I didn’t want to get involved in Papa and my sister’s conversation. They sounded like they were having fun, Cassie tried to include me so many times but I just kept ignoring them. Beside, I’m sure Papa already knows my hatred towards him, that was the reason why he kept his distance from me for so many years.

I hope our relationship would stay that way, maybe I would appreciate it if he would keep his distance from me until now.

“Papa, malapit na po ba tayo sa house niyo?” tanong ni Cassie kay Papa.

Papa was holding his phone, he looked like he was texting someone. I bet it was his mistress, I believe her name was Carolina. She was also living in Papa’s house, which means we would be living together soon. Did Mama even thought about that part? Would she really want his daughters to be associated with a homewrecker?

“Yes, Cassie. Malapit nalang tayo sa bahay, excited ka na bang lumangoy sa dagat?” Hindi pa rin ako nasasanay sa pinagbago ng boses niya. Tumatanda na nga talaga siya, matagal ko rin siyang hindi nakita kaya nakakapanibago.

Habang abala pa siya sa pagte-text ay pinagmasdan ko repleksyon niya sa rear view mirror. Puti na ang buhok niya at may mga facial hairs na rin siya sa mukha, ang buhok niya ay naka taper fade cut at nakasuklay palikod. May mga wrinkles na siya sa mukha niya, ganoon pa rin siya kaputi tulad dati. Kulay itim ang mga mata niya, makakapal ang kilay, matangos ang ilong at manipis ang labi.

Cassie and I looked exactly the same as him. Sa kaniya kaming dalawa nagmana, halos lahat ng facial features niya ay nakuha namin pwera nalang sa mga mata namin, kay Mama namin nakuha ang tsokolate naming mga mata.

It's crazy how much Cassie and I looked so much alike, the only difference was our age. Kung magkalapit lang sana ang edad namin ay baka pagkamalan pa kaming kambal dalawa.

"Who are you texting, Papa?" Cassie suddenly asked him.

He lifted his gaze, our eyes met on the rear view mirror and I immediately looked away. I settled my gaze to my phone, panicking and pretending like I was distracted by something on the screen.

"Your Tita Carol. Pinaalam ko lang sa kaniya na malapit na tayo, nakahanda na raw mga pagkain sabi niya."

"Oh, I like foods! Nagluto rin po ba 'siya nung sinabi mo sa akin na specialty niya?"

I gritted my teeth, I hated the fact that Cassie was easily accepting everything while I was still struggling. Sa totoo lang ay kinakabahan ako, hindi ko alam kung anong iaakto at sasabihin ko kapag nakarating na kami sa destinasyon namin.

"I'm sure she did," he replied.

Hindi ko pa nga nakikita ang kabit ni Papa ay maiinit na ang dugo ko sa kaniya, paano pa kaya kung nakita ko siya nang harap-harapan?

"Samantha?" He called for me again but this time I responded by humming. "Are you going to join us for lunch later or are you checking out the town first? Do you wanna borrow my car?"

That was actually a good suggestion from him, I don't think I'm ready to meet Carolina yet. No matter how much I hate him, I still don't want to be rude to her on our first meeting.

"This pick-up?" I asked him, meeting his gaze. He looked so surprise that I was finally talking to him, well I couldn't ignore him forever. There will be times where I have to talk to him.

"Yeah. May pera ka ba? Baka gutumin ka sa paggala mo."

Nakagat ko ang loobang pisnge ko, inubos ko na ang pera ko sa pagdadrama ko sa bar last week. Hindi ko sasabihin 'yon sa kaniya, baka masermonan pa ako at bawiin pa ang sinabi niyang pahihiramin niya ako ng kotse.

I answered, "wala."

"Is five thousand enough to you?"

"Yeah, that's enough."

"Alright, we'll talk later when we get home, okay?"

Walang gana akong tumango sa kaniya at saka binalik ang mga mata sa phone ko. Sumandal ako sa sandalan at huminga nang malalim. Nag-umpisang magmaneho muli si Papa, bumalik din sila sa pag-uusap ni Cassie.

Hindi nga nagsinungaling si Papa nung sinabi niya na malapit na kami sa bahay niya. Minaneho niya ang kotse niya paalis sa daan at bumaba sa puting buhangin. Huminto ang kotse niya sa harapan ng isang malaking bahay. Nag-iisa lang itong nakatayo sa parte ng beach na ito.

It was different from the houses in Manila, it was like a cabin but bigger and fancier. It seemed cozy inside, but I didn't wanna find that out to confirm it.

Nanatili ako sa loob ng kotse habang si Cassie naman ay lumabas at dali-daling tumakbo sa dagat habang nagtititili, binuksan ni Papa ang windshield niya at pinaalalahanan ito na huwag maglaro sa tubig. She shouted a yes while raising a thumbs up to him.

"Anyway, Sam, here's the money." Pagkuha ni Papa sa atensyon ko.

Tinanggal ko ang earphones sa tenga at pinasok ang parehas na earphones at phone sa backpack ko. Tinanggap ko ang limang libo na inabot sa akin ni Papa, tiniklop ito at pinasok ito sa bulsa ng aking pantalon.

"Kukuhanin ko lang 'yong mga gamit sa likod." Lumabas siya ng kotse. Pinanuod ko siyang umikot papunta sa likod, binuksan ko pababa ang bintana at sinuot ang kalahati ng katawan ko duon.

"Are you sure you can do that alone?" I asked him.

He was already carrying the luggage off the cargo when I asked him that. He placed it down and looked at me, confused.

"Of course. Why?"

I shrugged. "Well, you're already old."

Tumaas ang dalawang kilay niya, ngumiti siya pero mas na-distract ako sa mahabang bigote at balbas niya. Nakakapanibago talaga ang itsura niya, parang ibang tao siya sa mga mata ko.

"I'm still strong, Sam."

I shrugged. "Bahala ka, ako nalang maglalabas ng mga gamit sa loob." Bumalik ako sa loob ng kotse. Tatlong mga backpack lang ang nasa loob, ang akin, kay Papa at kay Cassie.

Binuksan ko ang pinto at binuhat palabas ang tatlong backpack. Ang akin ay nakasukbit sa likod ko habang nakasabit naman sa braso ko ang dalawa pang backpack.

"I'll put it on the porch," I announced.

I walked towards the house, my eyes roaming around the place. It looked really fancy, even just by looking at the front porch. It was obvious that the materials used in building this house were expensive. I already knew that my father was rich, he came from a wealthy family after all and he basically owns a resort based on what I heard from Cassie.

Pinatong ko ang mga backpack nila sa porch, sumilip ako sa nakabukas na pinto. Ilan lang ang mga naaninag ko sa loob, ang couch pa lang ang nakita ko pero mukhang pangmayaman na.

Hm, that Carolina sure picked the right guy to seduce.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko, napairap ako sa bahay nang talikuran ko ito at bumalik sa kotse. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita na naibaba na lahat ni Papa ang mga bagahe at mga gamit. Ni hindi man lang siya mukhang pagod at pinawisan.

"Hindi ka man lang ba muna papasok?" tanong niya pa.

Umiling ako. "Hindi na, sa labas nalang ako kakain."

"Anong oras ka uuwi?"

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Kung maaga akong mabored, baka maaga rin akong umuwi. Oo nga pala, 'yong susi, 'Pa?"

"Nasa loob ng kotse."

"Ah, sige. Pakitignan-tignan nalang si Cassie." Pumunta ako sa driver seat side ng kotse, dahil nakabukas na ang pinto ay diretso na akong pumasok. Sinarado ko ang pinto pagkatapos, sinarado naman ni Papa ang nakabukas na pinto sa likod.

Pinipigilan ko ang ngiti ko habang pinapaandar ang makina ng kotse, nang mapagtanto ko na papalapit si Papa ay agad kong inalis ang ngiti sa labi ko. Tumikhim ako at inayos ang upo ko sa kotse, dalawang kamay na nakahawak sa manibela.

"Do you know how to drive?" Dumungaw siya sa loob, magkasalubong na ang kilay na tila may napagtanto siya.

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko at mabilis na tumango.

He looked at me suspiciously. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I do. Nakapagmaneho na ako ng kotse dati nung tinuruan ako ni Mama."

"Ilang beses?"

"I-isa lang... kasi muntikan na kaming nakabangga ng bata non, hindi na ako pinayagan pa ni Mama." Inosente akong ngumiti sa kaniya. "But I saw some videos and tutorials in youtube so... don't worry, I guess?"

"Samantha," his tone lowered. It was just like before whenever he was mad at me, he would call my name in a low, scary tone. It was the first time I heard him call my name like that after a long time.

"Hindi ko gagasgasan 'yong kotse mo. Promise."

"You never keep your promises," he pointed out.

"So do you." Hindi ko maiwasang ganti sa kaniya, binalik ko ang mga mata sa harapan nang hindi makita ang ekspresyon niya.

Nagkaroon ng katahimikan sa amin, nag-iba rin ang ihip ng hangin. Ang tanging maririnig mo lang ay ang pagtawa at mga tili ni Cassie, ang malakas na pag-alon ng dagat at ang mga ibon na nagsisiliparan.

Ano bang alam niya tungkol sa akin? Ilang taon din kaming hindi nagkausap, hindi posibleng kilala niya pa rin ako. Bukod sa matagal na kaming hindi nagkita, posible rin na may nabago sa ugali at personalidad ko.

I used to be polite to everyone, I was obedient to older people and kind. And I admit that I did change a lot, I knew how much I could be really rude and stubborn, I also got the dirtiest mouth ever. I was only resisting all this time.

"Fine." He sighed, he tapped the roof of the car. "Just return home safe and early."

I only hummed and drove away. I struggled to drive on the sand, thank goodness we were close to the road. I looked at the rear view mirror. He was standing on the same spot, waving his hand and watching me leave.

A memory flashed inside my mind. It was the memory of him dropping me off to school, waving his hand while I was walking backwards to the school building while giving him flying kisses.

I shook my head lightly and inhaled a thick air while gripping the steering wheel.

"Bye, Papa."