"Will you come visit him with me tomorrow?" I asked Mike still laying my head on his shoulder. He's been comforting me for about an hour now and I was still confused about it. I was just waiting for old Mike to appear, leaving me helpless with his mood changes like he always do."Jessica..." He started, not continuing. I backed off from his hug slowly, looking for his reaction. His face expression was almost like he's angry but he doesn't want to show me.Please, not yet. I need this Mike, I thought trying to read his mind. I would do anything to be able to read his mind, just once. To find out what in the hell is happening in there."So, that's no?" I asked suspiciously. He just lowered his look so I figured it out on my own. "I tried." I said mostly to myself as I smiled sarcasticaly. I reached my limit of good Mike today, I thought. It was weird he was hugging me after crying over John, but to agree to come to visit him? How could I even be so silly?Lower that sarcasm.My inner v
"Where have you been?" I asked Delia when she came into my apartment.Delia left John when he was little. I never understood how can a mother leave her own child. Abandon your own blood. What reason should be justified by doing such a horrible thing?"Jessica, it was hard..." Delia said after a few moments of silence. Hard? She looks like a model now, remembering her face when I was little, she doesn't look like someone who had a rough life! She is well dressed, her body is in perfect shape, she looks great!"Hard for who? Your husband died! You didn't even came to his funeral!" I raised my voice remembering that horrible funeral and I instantly got a quick flashback to what happened in Detroit that day. I shook those images off. I really can't go back now..."I coudn't come. Believe me, I wanted to but..." She started but her voice trailed off. I rolled my eyes in disapproval. What can be more important then your own family?"Spare me Delia." I said smirking sarcasticaly. Truth is, I
As I was standing there in John's room waiting for him to finally wake up, my whole situation with him went through my head. Pictures of us growing up together, fighting, our first kiss, our special place, our teenage years, our first time making love, everything. I thought hours passed as I was thinking about him, yet only clock went just a few minutes up. I looked at his mom who was crying by his bed, sobbing over a child she left when he needed her the most. I couldn't help it but to close my eyes so I won't cry again. I just can't believe I spend a few days now crying over him in this hospital room when I could be with my so-called boyfriend. If we are still counting as being in a relationship. One thing popped into my head again. Would I be in this condition if Mike was laying here? Whould I cry so much like I'm crying now? Or would I visit just because he's my boyfriend and I have to? Honestly, I don't feel like we are in any kind of relationship besides in the one in which w
My heart almost stopped when I heard John saying my name. Doctor said he might won't remember anything yet he is here, waking up from this hell, saying my name. I'm not sure whether I would cry or smile! Not knowing how to react otherwise, I just pressed his hand tightly repeating "I'm here."I couldn't talk or say anything beside that. I just held his hand in mine like I never want to lose it again."I'm here John. I'm here..." I repeated myself again, barely audible, as I closed my eyes. Those words were just continuously repeating in my head, sounding like one of those boring ads on a TV, or those catchy songs you can't move out of your head, eventhough they are stupid. His face nor body didn't move again so I couldn't stop caressing his hand both lightly yet strongly enough for him to feel that I'm here. My hand went numb but I didn't want to let him go. Not now. I felt like this is the last time I'm holding him like this. New words was repleaced with older ones, new catchy song a
I know Mike has to do something about John's car accident. I just know that. My guts, inner me, and my brain sounded the alarm. Verbatim. Or I'm just drunk and overthinking this.I know I sound weird and maybe mentally unstable, but every peice of me knows that he has to do something with John. I mean, that guy was crazy enough to invite him here, I think he is crazy enough to move him away too!"You really think Mike is involved in this?" Hannah asked me anxiously, while sipping those last drops of her non-alcoholic Virgin Mary."He better not be!" I said loudly enough for the waiter to hear me. I couldn't care less, really. I was pissed because I knew I was right. "What if he's innocent now?" Hannah asked. I looked at her, rolled my eyes and finished my, whichever glass of Bloody Mary."Hannah. He isn't. That's Mike. If I learned something in our relationship, I learned that he is most definitely, in no way innocent." I said raising my hand to signal waiter to bring us some more. H
"My head..." I said barely audible after I woke up at the sound of my alarm with the most horrible headache ever. Worst hangover. My head was big as my room and my stomach was swirling inside me and burned like there's a huge bonfire in there. Even my hands and legs were numb like I ran at least 3 circles around the entire Seattle! Terrible feeling guys, terrible. I guess this is what it feels like when you're drinking at this age. "Are you dying?" Hannah entered my room, leaning on my door, smiling almost victoriously, crossing her arms on her chest. How can she look so good?! I probably look like I just been runned over for like at least four trucks!"I'm already dead." I moaned painfully. "I won't drink anymore. Ever." I said as I turned my body slowly to the left side, feeling disoriented."Jess, it's 6. We have to go." She said smiling. Right now, all I could think of is how much time do I have for throwing up and self pity."I'm going, I'm going..." I said more to myself than t
I was standing still like a rock with Peter's files under my hand. Should I look? I started pacing up and down, trying to calm my rapid thoughts. I am sure nothing is seriously wrong with him because Mike would already call me. Or would he? "Ok. Calm down." I said to myself barely audible as I was still walking up and down. As I was putting his files down, door opened. It was that little student."Dr.Miller, I really tried-" "Oh seriously?" I raised my voice not letting her finnish her sentence. She instantly shook her head and embarrassingly look down. "Worhtless." I sighed deeply, visibly annoyed. I can't say I wasn't mad at her for not be able to draw blood from a patient, but I was pretty much shaken myself and I couldn't breath properly, I can't show that!"Come." I simply pointed my fingers towards door as I took his files and started walking out of the room. She strongly jerked and backed off a bit when I walked passed her. I heard her little and rapid walk as she tried to ke
"So you are saying that Peter is here and Ann is playing the good wife?" Hannah asked me while she stucked a bunch of green salad in her mouth. I looked at her puzzled but I couldn't focus on that now."Yes. She even carressed his hair, repaired his pj's, everything." I rolled my eyes."Did you call Mike?" George asked me, looking at Hannah and the way she was eating that salad. "What is wrong with you?" He asked not waiting for me to answer him. I laughed."I'm having a surgery in half an hour, I want to be ready." Hannah said with her mouth full of food. George and I laughed. He leaned towards her and kissed her cheek. They look so cute together."I..." I started but stopped as I saw Ann passing through cafeteria canteen. Both Hannah and George looked back at her way then back to me, both rolled their eyes. I let a huge sigh and I felt my stomach twirl."Bitch." Hannah exclaimed. I couldn't help it but laugh, even George did. "Let her be." George said barely audible, shaking his he
"What the hell?" Hannah repeated herself because we ignored her the first time."What are you doing here?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes, still ignoring Hannah."Well, since you're not answering me, I came to make sure my girlfriend is still alive." Mike said coldly, clenching his jaw."As you see, I am so..." Filled with anger, I rolled my eyes."Can we talk?" He asked, slowly yet strongly grabbing my arm. I flinched, feeling pain. Hannah was just standing there, confused as she can be."Not a place or time Mike." I said firmly but I was visibly scared and that annoyed me. I shouldn't be afraid of him, I don't have a reason for that. Right?"Something happened?" He asked me, now looking genuinely concerned and confused. Then it hit me. He doesn't have a clue that I overheard his conversation. How could I be so stupid and let my emotions get the best of me?"We will talk later okay?" I said as my face softened. He looked at me, one eyebrow up, still mad. He growled under his voice an
"Sleepyhead..." I heard a soft voice near me. Air smelled like our toothpaste and mix of herbs from Hannah's shampoo. Although I smiled lightly, knowing it was her, I still didn't want to wake up."Nooo..." I whined and turned on the other side. Hannah smiled and leaned on me, sighing deeply."When did you even got home last night?" She asked, still on my body. I moaned, not happy with that. "I know what will make you got up." She said, slowly getting up. I moaned again, feeling lighter and relieved that I can just roll over on the other side of my bed, completely ignoring her. Realizing it wasn't the smartest move as she grabbed my legs and started pulling me out, I started laughing."Stoooop, leave me in peace!" I managed to mumble as she continued to pull me up. I tried to budge but I couldn't. How the hell is she so strong?!"I got engaged!" Hannah exclaimed, finally letting me go."What?!" I lifted my head so rapidly, the whole room started spinning! She was screaming and jumping
My head was at the verge of blowing up like the ones in cartoons. There was too much information I needed to cope, too deafening sounds, everything was spinning. Me, the room, everything! I felt numb and over-touched, cranky, mad, all feelings you could think of and none of them in the same time. I didn't even knew until now that that's possible.My shift ended vaguely, honestly I'm happy I didn't kill anybody! All I could think is how I will eventually go home and tell Hannah everything what was heavy on my crazy noggin.Darla didn't say anything for the rest of our shift. I could only imagine what's in her head now, poor girl...I got a text from Hannah asking if I'm ready for our date night. I was more then ready but I wanted to do one more thing before I head home."Hi you..." John's head lifted up when he saw me entering his room. "Did I woke you up?" I asked, carefully closing the door. I stood by them as my legs wouldn't let me come closer to him for some reason."I won't bite
"What the hell is going on?!" I yelled a little bit louder than I expected. Few doctors that was passing by with patients looked at me concerned. I brushed it off. Soon enough, my mom will hear about this, but I can't deal with this now."Dr.Miller." Veronica called my name in so calming voice, my anger vanished in thin air. I slowly turned around. She looked at me, smiling acidly, slightly tilting her head."I'm sorry." I said to her. She didn't say anything, she just shrugged her shoulders and smiled. I felt bad for not knowing how to control. "Let's continue this in my office, shall we?" I asked, faking a smile and politeness so we don't draw any more attention. I felt eyes all over me as patients and hospital staff were suddenly walking slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of our conversation. Miller's daughter causing the drama. Big news. Darla and Delia both started walking behind me as I tried to go into my office as soon as possible. My head was spinning really fast and I felt l
"She is fine!" Mr.Bhat said after he stopped hugging us. "She is fine thanks to you doctor Miller and you doctor Care." He said, closing his palms and bowing to us. Ann's surname is Care? Why does that sounds familiar? I quickly brushed off that for now, I can't be dealing with that too. I smiled politely to Mr.Bhat, bowing to him, as he did to us."You don't have to thank us for that Mr.Bhat, we did our best." I said firmly. I was so proud of myself, so fulfilled, so good about myself! We saved that girl's life! "She is sleeping now." Mr.Bhat said, approaching Ada's bed. He slowly and gently caressed her hair and smiled. He looked peaceful. "You don't need to wake her up, we will just do a little checkup." I said as I grabbed a pen out of my uniform. I checked her temperature, it was 36.6 Celsius which is quite normal. Excellent."She may feel dizzy or groggy as she come around from general anaesthetic." I said to him, caressing her hand. "We will check her blood pressure regularly.
"I'm sorry I'm late." Darla quickly came beside me after Dr.Stepford and me started walking towards Nina's room. I rolled my eyes when I looked at her but I didn't want to say anything."Dr.Miller?" Dr.Stepford raised his glasses while we walked and looked me dead serious. "Are you going to let your intern be late?" He smirked. "I want 20 pages on AIDS research. By tomorrow morning." I stated seriously. Dr.Stepford chuckle a bit, sounding like a teenage girl. I bet he was amused by this as he probably remembered some of my mom's situation again and how much I do look like her. I smiled to myself and I was proud how I quickly got an idea for Darla's punishment but I put on my straight face instantly. Darla didn't say anything, she was probably too scared.I promise I won't be so hard on her once she toughen up a bit. She can't be soft, not on Pediatric, let alone Pediatric surgery. In Africa, I had a resident who was so strict, my hair would go up when I remember her. But she was fair
We kept walking until she stopped us in front of the door, right next to John's room. What is her plan? We will easdrop? I hope not! Hannah looked at both directions and slowly opened the door in front of us. I was confused."What are you doing?" I whispered to Hannah, hoping she will hear me. She just smiled and continue with her plan. We entered a patient's room, an old lady seemed to be sleeping. I looked puzzled as I was looking around her room, trying to figure out Hannah's thoughts. Hannah turned over to me and rolled her eyes."This is Elenore. She is in a coma. Come." She said that bluntly, like we do that on our daily basis, like this, whatever this is is normal."Hannah." I exclaimed quietly, yet strongly enough for her to stop. She looked at me again, now confused like I'm the one who's crazy. I couldn't help but smile."She won't hear us, what?!" She asked, opening her arms towards me in isn't-it-obvious way. I shook my head and smiled. I might just let go all my question
I went to the park. I managed to stay calm and cool long enough so I can walk and sit ona n empty bench. I felt exhausted. I felt really worned out for some reason like all my energy went somewhere else. I started feeling nauseated. Why? I don't even know what I heard! Did Mike and his Gorilla killed someone? At least tried to?! I shook my head in disbelief because I just knew, all of this sounds so ridiculous and unreal. I tried to comprehend all of that information. That can't be right, I heard something wrong and I made some scenario in my head, I surely misheard."You are being stupid, Jess." I said barely audible to myself. I was looking around me as I tried to calm my nerves. There was just a few people in the park but the weather was nice. Small, sweet breeze was calmly blowing making leaves do a little song of their own. That calmed my mind a little. I noticed small children and I heard their giggles while they run towards their parents. That made me smile! I started feeling
I did it again. I gave in. I have managed to disappoint me one more time. How can I be so weak, just how many times I have to hurt myself with what is so wrong yet it feels so damn good?"Sex isn't supposed to be an answer." I said after I buttoned up the last button on my shirt. He was already done."I know." He simply said, repairing his Rolex."So why are we doing that?" I asked, sitting down. "Do what? I want you. Isn't that enough?" He looked at me puzzled. I was stunned by the fact that he doesn't seem to see the real problem is. "No, Mike. Sometimes it's not." I said standing up. Why am I suddenly feel angry? I am to blame here, I let him manipulate me one more time. He just used that so well! "What is your problem Jessica?" He exclaimed. I backed off a little. "What do you want?" He raised his voice. I narrowed my eyes and sighed deeply. To be honest, I don't know what I want. "I want you. But not just sex. I want the whole package! Conversation, going on a trip, go to par