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CHAPTER 58
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Teach Me CHAPTER 59
I wasn't ready to face Mike. My emotions were over the roof, I wasn't sure am I sad or confused, am I angry... I wasn't happy, that's for sure. Not knowing whether to call him or talk to him, should I apologize, should I make him apologize?"Miss?" Some nice old lady spoke as she saw me by the elevator. "Are you going?" She smiled politely. I just simply nodded and entered the elevator. She pressed her number and I pressed mine. Neurology. John. I am so glad he woke up. I thought I lost him. Again, one hundred small memories started rapidly going through my head, making me dizzy. It doesn't necessary means I still have feelings for him, but I can't say I don't have. Seeing him in this positions, seeing his condition has me shattered in little pieces. "Your stop miss." Nice old lady spoke again. I twitched and smiled acidly. "Sorry. Thank you." I Said quietly, adding a little polite bow. As I was getting out, I nervously repaired my uniform. I was walking slowly, with my heart bea
Teach Me CHAPTER 60
"Any news?" I asked Hannah when I called her from my office. I returned to my table one hour ago, and I still couldn't breath properly, my body was still numb but I knew I have to pull myself together. I have a shift to end and my patients to care about. When did my life became so complicated? Life was so much easier in Cairo. I was with my dad, I worked, occupied my head with things that really mattered. Now? Am I still going steady with Mike? Are we stil a thing? What is happening with John? Will he be okay?My forehead started itching, I rubbed it really hard. "I need to focus." I said to Hannah, but it was more of thinking out loud."I will inform you, don't worry." Hannah said. She was in the gallery, wathcing John's surgery. "He is steady." She said encouragingly. I just closed my eyes. I imagined him on the operation table, opened. His head opened and his brain pulsating, his body fighting to stay alive. I never want to see anybody I know in that position. On that table, in
Teach Me CHAPTER 61
This has been the worst shift I had since I came back. Honestly, I never felt more exhausted and weary...As I waited Hannah by our black Volkswagen 5, I was feeling cold breeze on my tired face. I was so happy and gratefull to be here, healthy and alive. Wathcing people being here, with day to day struggle to survive has made me look at life from a different perspective. I should have been a teacher."Hi." Hannah came to me, looking half dead from fatigue. I just smiled to her, quietly entering the car."He is alive right?" I asked her, wanting to get that straight."Yes. He is." She said, slowly carressing my leg. That felt good. I felt relief. I can finally breath properly. He is good. He made it! For now...I shook my head on that thought."You okay?" I asked her when I started driving. She leaned her head on the seat, looking really tired. "My patient died..." She said barely audible. I closed my eyes for a second. I heard her breathing, I know she has been crying... I wanted
Teach Me CHAPTER 62
"Are you coming in?" He asked me when I entered my room. His shirt was already off, revealing his perfectly shaped abdominal muscles. I couldn't help but stare which made him smirk."So?" He asked huskily. As he smiled, he raised his one eyebrow, so I nervously caughed."In the shower?" I asked, feeling stupid and embarrassed. I felt heat and redness on my face when I finally met his gaze. Why do I feel like some hormonal highscool girl?!He didn't say a word, he just smiled. He came closer to me, putting his hands very slowly on my hips. When I felt his touch, my knees trembled. I think he noticed that because he huskily smirked as he leaned towards me. I sighed deeply, closing my eyes. I was so eager for his touch, I forgot where am I or what happened with him before. When he kissed me, world stopped. His warm and soft lips touched mine, and it instantly made me feel the way I wasn't feeling in a very long time! I felt wanted again. I felt good. He slowly broke our kiss and moaned
Teach Me CHAPTER 63
"Dr.Miller?" I heard a voice, small voice which woke me up from my daydream.I've been absent since yesterday. Mike and I had the best time, I felt like everything has returned into normal again. Like we were a happy couple again, if we ever were. I'm just so used to being not good, feeling so bad about our relationship that when it comes to this, to the day that everything is okay, I feel insecure and nervous. Anxious about so many things... That's toxic and I shouldn't feel that way..."Yes?" I looked up to see Darla, my intern."I'm just letting you know that Peter wants to see you before the surgery." She said very slowly and quietly. Why is she so afraid of me?"Okay." I said as I stood up. "Lets do this." I said as I passed by her. She backed off at first and I closed my doors behind me, but I heard her little steps walking near me. I couldn't help but shook my head and smile."How is the most prettiest boy in the world today?" I asked smiling, as I entered Peter's room. I regre
Teach Me CHAPTER 64
I was so happy! My first solo surgery here and it was successful. I had an intern, I was number one in that OR. I was feeling so fulfilling, so gratefull to be here! It was an amazing morning! I grabbed a cup of coffee from our Cantina. I was chanting a song in my head and I was visibly good. It felt awesome! "Something good happened?" I heard a familiar voice behind me. When I turned my head, I was puzzled. Delia Care. John's mom. I smiled lightly, she did too."Hi Delia. How are you?" I asked politely."Been good. Thanks." She said quietly, barely audible. I nodded, without saying anything. We started walking towards an empty table. She sat with me, with her cup of coffee."John was under another surgery." Delia said sadly. I closed my eyes, trying to block those horrible memories."Yes. They are waiting for him to wake up." I said quietly. We were sitting in silence for a few seconds. The awkward tension between us could easily be sliced with a knife!"I'm sorry I didn't came m
Teach Me CHAPTER 65
I was thinking about Mike a little longer then I wish. I need to concentrate on my work. Which I had a ton, to say at least. I was thinking about Darla too. She is a very strange girl. I know I'm strange too, but she is somehow misteriously awkward. She is either very quiet, very sad or very weird. I managed to caught her acting normal, and that was when I was eavesdropping on her and Peter talking. I shook my head, trying to go back to my work. In front of me was Ada's files, Peter's files and a lot of other paperwork."No fun." I said out loud. I looked up at the clock on my white wall. It said 2 pm. Few more hours. Well... I guess I will have to do this."Hannah?" I said after she picked up her phone. I thought I give her a call, I haven't seen her since we clocked in."I didn't even eat lunch." She said quietly, barely audible. I laughed silently and she just sighed. "Are you ok?" I asked her, still smiling."Yes but I have tons to do before this day is over." She growled anno
Teach Me CHAPTER 66
Why am I really doing this? I know Stephanie is not going to be okay, I know things will only get worse so why did I just put her on Hydroxyurea? "Poor girl..." Veronica interrupted me in my daydream. I shook my head and sighed. "I know..." I said sadly. "Does it get easier?" I asked her, leaning with my both hands on her desk. She smiled lightly, making me warmer. "No honey. It doesn't. You will have to get used to this." She said. I took Stephanie's files and still with my one hand leaning on Veronica's desk, I started writting my report."For all it's worth, you are doing pretty good!" She said reassuringly. I smiled. "Thanks." I said as I stopped writting. "You know, in Africa, my dad and I couldn't help all of them. There was hundreds of kids every day. Not just small incisions, or simple diseases. Not curable, non operative, it was so hard..." My voice drifted off. There was at least tousands of flashbacks in my head. I will never forget those kids. Never.
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Teach Me CHAPTER 83
"What the hell?" Hannah repeated herself because we ignored her the first time."What are you doing here?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes, still ignoring Hannah."Well, since you're not answering me, I came to make sure my girlfriend is still alive." Mike said coldly, clenching his jaw."As you see, I am so..." Filled with anger, I rolled my eyes."Can we talk?" He asked, slowly yet strongly grabbing my arm. I flinched, feeling pain. Hannah was just standing there, confused as she can be."Not a place or time Mike." I said firmly but I was visibly scared and that annoyed me. I shouldn't be afraid of him, I don't have a reason for that. Right?"Something happened?" He asked me, now looking genuinely concerned and confused. Then it hit me. He doesn't have a clue that I overheard his conversation. How could I be so stupid and let my emotions get the best of me?"We will talk later okay?" I said as my face softened. He looked at me, one eyebrow up, still mad. He growled under his voice an
Teach Me CHAPTER 82
"Sleepyhead..." I heard a soft voice near me. Air smelled like our toothpaste and mix of herbs from Hannah's shampoo. Although I smiled lightly, knowing it was her, I still didn't want to wake up."Nooo..." I whined and turned on the other side. Hannah smiled and leaned on me, sighing deeply."When did you even got home last night?" She asked, still on my body. I moaned, not happy with that. "I know what will make you got up." She said, slowly getting up. I moaned again, feeling lighter and relieved that I can just roll over on the other side of my bed, completely ignoring her. Realizing it wasn't the smartest move as she grabbed my legs and started pulling me out, I started laughing."Stoooop, leave me in peace!" I managed to mumble as she continued to pull me up. I tried to budge but I couldn't. How the hell is she so strong?!"I got engaged!" Hannah exclaimed, finally letting me go."What?!" I lifted my head so rapidly, the whole room started spinning! She was screaming and jumping
Teach Me CHAPTER 81
My head was at the verge of blowing up like the ones in cartoons. There was too much information I needed to cope, too deafening sounds, everything was spinning. Me, the room, everything! I felt numb and over-touched, cranky, mad, all feelings you could think of and none of them in the same time. I didn't even knew until now that that's possible.My shift ended vaguely, honestly I'm happy I didn't kill anybody! All I could think is how I will eventually go home and tell Hannah everything what was heavy on my crazy noggin.Darla didn't say anything for the rest of our shift. I could only imagine what's in her head now, poor girl...I got a text from Hannah asking if I'm ready for our date night. I was more then ready but I wanted to do one more thing before I head home."Hi you..." John's head lifted up when he saw me entering his room. "Did I woke you up?" I asked, carefully closing the door. I stood by them as my legs wouldn't let me come closer to him for some reason."I won't bite
Teach Me CHAPTER 80
"What the hell is going on?!" I yelled a little bit louder than I expected. Few doctors that was passing by with patients looked at me concerned. I brushed it off. Soon enough, my mom will hear about this, but I can't deal with this now."Dr.Miller." Veronica called my name in so calming voice, my anger vanished in thin air. I slowly turned around. She looked at me, smiling acidly, slightly tilting her head."I'm sorry." I said to her. She didn't say anything, she just shrugged her shoulders and smiled. I felt bad for not knowing how to control. "Let's continue this in my office, shall we?" I asked, faking a smile and politeness so we don't draw any more attention. I felt eyes all over me as patients and hospital staff were suddenly walking slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of our conversation. Miller's daughter causing the drama. Big news. Darla and Delia both started walking behind me as I tried to go into my office as soon as possible. My head was spinning really fast and I felt l
Teach Me CHAPTER 79
"She is fine!" Mr.Bhat said after he stopped hugging us. "She is fine thanks to you doctor Miller and you doctor Care." He said, closing his palms and bowing to us. Ann's surname is Care? Why does that sounds familiar? I quickly brushed off that for now, I can't be dealing with that too. I smiled politely to Mr.Bhat, bowing to him, as he did to us."You don't have to thank us for that Mr.Bhat, we did our best." I said firmly. I was so proud of myself, so fulfilled, so good about myself! We saved that girl's life! "She is sleeping now." Mr.Bhat said, approaching Ada's bed. He slowly and gently caressed her hair and smiled. He looked peaceful. "You don't need to wake her up, we will just do a little checkup." I said as I grabbed a pen out of my uniform. I checked her temperature, it was 36.6 Celsius which is quite normal. Excellent."She may feel dizzy or groggy as she come around from general anaesthetic." I said to him, caressing her hand. "We will check her blood pressure regularly.
Teach Me CHAPTER 78
"I'm sorry I'm late." Darla quickly came beside me after Dr.Stepford and me started walking towards Nina's room. I rolled my eyes when I looked at her but I didn't want to say anything."Dr.Miller?" Dr.Stepford raised his glasses while we walked and looked me dead serious. "Are you going to let your intern be late?" He smirked. "I want 20 pages on AIDS research. By tomorrow morning." I stated seriously. Dr.Stepford chuckle a bit, sounding like a teenage girl. I bet he was amused by this as he probably remembered some of my mom's situation again and how much I do look like her. I smiled to myself and I was proud how I quickly got an idea for Darla's punishment but I put on my straight face instantly. Darla didn't say anything, she was probably too scared.I promise I won't be so hard on her once she toughen up a bit. She can't be soft, not on Pediatric, let alone Pediatric surgery. In Africa, I had a resident who was so strict, my hair would go up when I remember her. But she was fair
Teach Me CHAPTER 77
We kept walking until she stopped us in front of the door, right next to John's room. What is her plan? We will easdrop? I hope not! Hannah looked at both directions and slowly opened the door in front of us. I was confused."What are you doing?" I whispered to Hannah, hoping she will hear me. She just smiled and continue with her plan. We entered a patient's room, an old lady seemed to be sleeping. I looked puzzled as I was looking around her room, trying to figure out Hannah's thoughts. Hannah turned over to me and rolled her eyes."This is Elenore. She is in a coma. Come." She said that bluntly, like we do that on our daily basis, like this, whatever this is is normal."Hannah." I exclaimed quietly, yet strongly enough for her to stop. She looked at me again, now confused like I'm the one who's crazy. I couldn't help but smile."She won't hear us, what?!" She asked, opening her arms towards me in isn't-it-obvious way. I shook my head and smiled. I might just let go all my question
Teach Me CHAPTER 76
I went to the park. I managed to stay calm and cool long enough so I can walk and sit ona n empty bench. I felt exhausted. I felt really worned out for some reason like all my energy went somewhere else. I started feeling nauseated. Why? I don't even know what I heard! Did Mike and his Gorilla killed someone? At least tried to?! I shook my head in disbelief because I just knew, all of this sounds so ridiculous and unreal. I tried to comprehend all of that information. That can't be right, I heard something wrong and I made some scenario in my head, I surely misheard."You are being stupid, Jess." I said barely audible to myself. I was looking around me as I tried to calm my nerves. There was just a few people in the park but the weather was nice. Small, sweet breeze was calmly blowing making leaves do a little song of their own. That calmed my mind a little. I noticed small children and I heard their giggles while they run towards their parents. That made me smile! I started feeling
Teach Me CHAPTER 75
I did it again. I gave in. I have managed to disappoint me one more time. How can I be so weak, just how many times I have to hurt myself with what is so wrong yet it feels so damn good?"Sex isn't supposed to be an answer." I said after I buttoned up the last button on my shirt. He was already done."I know." He simply said, repairing his Rolex."So why are we doing that?" I asked, sitting down. "Do what? I want you. Isn't that enough?" He looked at me puzzled. I was stunned by the fact that he doesn't seem to see the real problem is. "No, Mike. Sometimes it's not." I said standing up. Why am I suddenly feel angry? I am to blame here, I let him manipulate me one more time. He just used that so well! "What is your problem Jessica?" He exclaimed. I backed off a little. "What do you want?" He raised his voice. I narrowed my eyes and sighed deeply. To be honest, I don't know what I want. "I want you. But not just sex. I want the whole package! Conversation, going on a trip, go to par
