Carrie
Boredom is a disease. I’ll tell you.
Two weeks have already passed since my father’s decision to call off the marriage. But I have been stuck in my room since then. And now, I think that my hotel room is my designated purgatory. Nothing I did was fun.
Even N*****x was boring to me.
Shocking, right?
I mean, I should be jumping and throwing pillows recklessly since I am not getting married to a stranger anymore.
But no, I just went into the bathroom to take my fourth shower. Yesterday, I took six showers. I truly deserve an award for the cleanest woman of the week.
So, give me my award, people.
But, man, I miss LA. I wish I could escape this hell and go back to my usual life. But no, my father refused to show me his face ever since he sent Gary to announce the wedding annulment.
And since I can’t run away to LA without letting my father know how grateful I was for his decision, I have to stay put.
A sigh was already leaving me when a knock came on my door. I was expecting it to be Gary since he was the only one that has visited me since I was grounded, but my expectations were wrong.
It was my father.
With his grey and white hair looking scantier than before, my father walked into the room, his lips pressed into a thin line.
I got up from the bed and rushed closer, eager to hear what he had to say.
“I have been busy,” was all he said.
“Oh, I-”
Another person walked in. And it turned out to be my mother. Walking in after her was my Uncle Steve, my father’s younger brother.
Seeing how they were all in my room, I guessed that they wished to speak to me about the wedding.
“Carrie…” My father began to speak once the door was securely closed. “I am sure you know that I decided to call off the wedding.”
“Yes, Dad, I-”
“I was trying to help you, Carrie.” The wrinkles around his eyes deepened and that sight made me worry. A sigh left my old man and his feet danced for a second. “You keep living your life as if you don’t have one. You never act like you have a purpose.”
“But, I do.” The path our discussion was leading to was one that we have threaded a lot in the past. And I am more than willing to use this opportunity to get what I want. “Dad, you know what I want to do with my life.”
“You have no business running or owning a business,” his response was sharp and he eyed me in the condensing way I always hate. “You should look for something else to do. Now that you are no longer getting married, you have to-”
“I want to do it. I want to become a furniture manufacturer. I want to make people’s homes a delight to see.” My urgency and desperation increased and my forehead creased deeply. With a little ache in my heart, I mourned all the days I wasted because my father refused to support and allow me to follow my dreams.
Even when I took action and reached out to a friend for help, my father blocked all access.
His insistence and ridiculous views on a woman running a business has affected me in a lot of ways. I mean, he almost married me off because he continually wishes to dictate how my life should be after he refused to grant me the life I wished for myself.
So, yes, with urgency, I moved closer to my father and begged, “Please let me do this. Let me do what I want. I promise I will stop being a wild child. I will-”
“I will think about it,” was all my father said, his voice curt.
“Dad…” I whined and faced my mother. “Mom, please,speak to him.”
“Give your father some breathing space, Carrie.” And as usual, my mother failed to take my side. With her permed hair well-settled on her shoulders, my mother said, “He just had to let go of a huge deal because of you.”
“Oh…” Right… The wedding was supposed to come with some mighty wedding presents.
“Carrie,” my father called and I faced him. “I need you to go to the hospital.”
“What? Why?”
“I know you ran away and who knows what or who you contacted. So, do the family a favour and get some tests done.”
“I mean…” I doubt anything will be found. Alessandro, the gorgeous stranger, didn’t seem like someone with herpes or anything related to that. But one can never be too sure. So, I shrugged and gave in to my father’s request. “If that is what you want.”
“Good. Your punishment is over as of today. So you can leave your room as you please.”
“Thank you, Dad.” The fact that I won’t get married came to me and I felt happiness all over again.
My uncle Steve cleared his throat and that was all I heard from him because he left the room right after my father turned his heels toward the exit.
My mother left after them, but not after she gave me a stare I failed to properly comprehend. But if I was to guess, it almost seemed as though she was reprimanding me for getting out of the marriage trap.
My thoughts are wild, I know, but there’s just a chance I might be right. And if I am.
Oh well…
~~~
Because of the numerous hospital tests my father made sure I ran, I ended up spending another week in Venice. The weather here is nice and all, but I am dying!
I want to go back to LA and enjoy a good night in my apartment. I don’t want to constantly greet family members who sneer at me for choosing not to get married.
And I certainly don’t like the constant check-ups to see if I have run away again.
At that moment, I just woke up from a long sleep but it felt unsatisfactory. So, with tired steps, I walked out of the bathroom, droplets of water settled on my skin. When I found a favourable position next to my bed, I made to pull off my bathrobe when a knock announced someone’s arrival.
I considered ignoring the person, but the knock came again and I had to heed the call.
And once I opened the door, a shocking sight greeted me.
“Frank…” The name of my supposed-to-be husband slipped out of my tongue.
“May I come in?”
“Uh...” I adjusted the towel on my wet hair. “Sure.” My brow raised in uncertainty as I tried to calculate in my head why he could possibly be in my room.
“So...” He pocketed his hands as he walked further into the room. “We eventually didn’t get married.”
“Nope.” I gave him a small smile once he turned.
With his stressed, somewhat wrinkled eyes dutifully trained on me, he let out a gust of air before saying, “Truthfully, I was looking forward to making you my wife.”
“Uh?”
He adjusted his Harry Potter glasses. “I don’t have much luck with women. So, I didn’t mind the little matchmaking our fathers did.”
“Oh.”
Silence filled the atmosphere because I had nothing else to say.
After a sigh, Frank said, “Carrie, you are a gorgeous woman. There is no doubt. It’s just a pity I never got to know you better.”
Okay, maybe Frank is not a bad person. Okay, okay… Maybe I tried to see Frank as a bad person because I was supposed to get married to him. But now that I am free from that insane collaboration, I will admit the fact that the tall man standing in front of me was sort of sweet.
So, with a softened tone, I said, “I am sorry the wedding was called off.”
“I know you never liked me.”
“Truthfully, I am not ready for marriage. And I wasn’t thrilled when I learnt that I would be getting married to a stranger.”
Frank nodded in understanding and I told myself to say nothing more. I tend to speak out of turn sometimes and that could cause some irrevocable damage.
“Well…” The man placed his hands on his waist and wrinkled his tucked shirt by tapping it with his fingers. “I should uh... I should leave.”
“Yeah. I need to get dressed so, yeah.”
His eyes roamed my bathrobe as though he just noticed what I was wearing.
“I’ll leave you to that.” He smiled softly, his eyes still roaming. As I watched him make his way to the door, I wondered what life would have been like had I married him.
Before I could answer that thought, I immediately shook it away. Why should I invite thoughts of something that won’t happen?
“Frank, my boy!” My father’s voice pushed my ex-fiance back into the room. “It is good to see you here. It has been hard to reach you.”
I hugged my bathrobe closer. Can’t they see I am yet to be dressed?
“I have been very busy, sir. You know how business is these days,” Frank replied, and my father gave him a friendly pat.
“Brother, you haven’t checked the reports,” my Uncle Steve’s voice followed after his short blonde hair popped into the room.
Great! I might as well never wear a proper dress again if the entire hotel continues trooping into my room without knocking.
My father faced my uncle, who was holding a brown envelope.
“Oh it is good that they came early. I want Carrie to hear the results.”
“The results?” I asked, confused as fuck.
“The hospital results,” my Uncle answered my inquiry.
“I should excuse you all, this seems like a family issue,” Frank said, his roughly oblong face wearing a serious look.
“Nonsense! You are family regardless of what happened.”
I resisted the urge to scrunch my lips in disgust at my Father’s response.
And when Frank replied with, “I will just stay in a corner and watch.“, I realised that I would be seeing more of Frank.
“So modest, that boy.” My Dad said to no one in particular.
But I knew quite well the statement was directed at me. He was reprimanding me for not getting married to a potentially good man.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
“Okay, let’s have the results, Steve,” my father filled the room with his stern voice.
“Alright.” A little scuffle followed. “Okay...” his eyes skimmed the stapled papers in his hands. “There is nothing wrong so far...”
I threw my father a smile as I did a celebratory backflip in my head.
“Wait. There is one thing.”
Please do not be herpes. Please.
“She is-” My Uncle glanced at the paper again.
“What is it, Steve?”
My uncle looked up at my father, his eyes carrying an emotion I couldn’t decipher, an emotion that instantly worried me.
“It says here that Carrie is pregnant.”
My knees weakened immediately.
Preg-what? How? Wh- what... didn’t I use the pills? Didn’t I...
“Really?” The calm tone in my father’s voice made fright crawl into my soul. That fright found a home in me and made my soul shiver.
“Yes, it says here that she is two weeks pregnant.”
CarrieNo, no, no. No.That can’t be right.“Carrie?” I looked up at my Dad, my mind in jeopardy. “When did you and Frank get intimate? Why don’t you want to get married then?”Uh? Intimate? Frank?Wh-What is my old man talking about?My father must have sensed that I was not ready to give him a response, so he faced Frank who had been busy pressing his phone with rigour until the news bomb was dropped.“Frank...” As my Father called the man, my eyes that were squinted out of fear darted in the his direction. “You never told me you and Carrie finally hit it off.”“Hit what off?”Oh my. My dad is going to lose it soon. Oh, I am eternally doomed.Excitedly, my father replied to Frank, saying, “Didn’t you hear? Carrie is pregnant.” His dark eyes shined brighter than they ever have and the happiness my father was displaying made him look pitiful. “Frank, this calls for celebration. This is-”“Sir…” An air of darkness overpowered Frank’s stance. Before he continued, his eyes met mine, he j
CarrieThe next day, I found myself at the location indicated on the card the hotel’s receptionist gave me. The huge building that was supposedly Alessandro’s company was an architectural firm built in solitude, far away from most business buildings in that area.This time, Gary was not available, so I had to take a taxi and walk some distance before I got to the building.Soon, I walked past the gates and towards the building that was constructed uniquely and technically. Well, it is expected of such a firm to be unique about the construction of their building.But is it strange that I think their building looks like a jug that has been sliced in half?Oh well…I entered a room that was empty save for some chairs that lay beside a staircase that ran all the way up.Well, I am definitely not climbing it.So, I turned to my left and walked to the elevator and a few seconds later, I was led into a chilly room.“Good afternoon,” I called the attention of the man behind the desk who had c
Alessandro“Spit it out,” I ordered while I tried hard to stay calm in the midst of chaos.“Mm…Mmm Mmm…” The bastard kneeling in front of me uttered incoherent words and I lost it. He has been hoarding something important inside his mouth and since it was something he would be unable to swallow, he made sure to keep his mouth.But I don’t have time for such games.So, I faced the butler beside me and reached for the gun he deliciously presented on his gold tray.With charisma in my action, I toyed with the weapon for some minutes. My eyes tinged with joy as I ran my fingers through the blackness of the gun and I began to feel the rush I hadn’t felt in weeks.My impatient self faced the bastard and the fear in his eyes told me that I was already torturing him.Of course, in the face of a deadly weapon, fear is only normal.But you know what? I consider fear an annoying reaction.People tremble in the worst ways when they are caught doing things they shouldn’t be doing and I find that h
CarrieI know I have never been too keen on getting married but there were times I imagined living a great deal of my life with someone else. I sometimes went as far as picturing how magical the wedding ceremony would be.So if the twenty-one-year-old-college-me sees what I am doing right now, she will drop dead for several minutes like the dramatic girl she is.The more I walked down the corridor that was supposed to lead to the open space where my wedding was located, the more my feet dragged.With each passing second, the reluctance to get through that moment grew and that reluctance reached my legs so much that it began to feel as though stones were set in their soles.But do I have a choice?Even if it takes a whole day to arrive at my destination, I will still get married.My father made sure to send several messages to drill that particular truth into my mind. He also said that even though I was not deserving of it, he was going to allow me to use the outdoor venue he booked fo
CarrieWithout stopping to look back, I stormed into my room. But beyond my anger were the tears I have been trying to hold back since I realised Alessandro Valante would never reply to my messages.So, by the time I was standing in front of my dresser, my hands had become shaky and my eyes were very red.“Carrie! What exactly is wrong with you?” My father barged in after, and my mom followed quietly.“I don’t know, Dad.” Before I faced him, I managed to tuck my feebleness to the side. “Everything?”“Carrie, I will not have you act this way.”“What way? What?” I tendered my palms in question. “Is it so wrong to throw up? Is it wrong that I was sorry for throwing up? I shouldn’t be sorry for throwing up, I am pregnant!”“Don’t you raise your-”“You know what Dad, since you want to support Frank so much, since he wasn’t wrong to shout at me because of some cheap shoe, why don’t you get married to him? I am sure Mom won’t mind having a man as a rival just like she did not years ago.”“Ca
Alessandro“Pass. Too much lipstick, is she trying to cook with that much oil?”“Are you trying to murder me? I haven’t eaten all day?” As he tossed the pictures I gave him to the side, Eduardo pouted and gave his stomach a rub to show that he was hungry.One would think that I kept him captive for days and refused to feed him. Well, I did keep him by my side for a couple of days.After a sigh, I reached for my phone, tossed it at him, and said, “Order something for yourself.”“Nice. What about you?” His excitement quickly turned to worry and I appreciated how much he cared about the state of my stomach. “You haven’t eaten anything reasonable in days.”“When do I ever eat anything reasonable?” came my solemn question. “I have dipped myself in too much shit that I can’t enjoy any meal anymore.”Eduardo began to tap away on my phone. “You need to eat something regardless. We can’t spend all day trying to find you a potential wife without eating.”Yes. I am going to follow the wishes of
Carrie“I am surprised you are not trying to get rid of this baby,” my doctor friend, Rachel, said. Rachel is a friend I have had since I was five. Our families lived beside each other and even though the bond both families formed has now tarnished, Rachel and I take it upon ourselves to continue what could not be finished.“I can’t.” I sank into the chair. “I need the company.” The ginger-haired lady in front of me smiled. “What?” I frowned.“You know this baby changes everything right?”“It already has.”“And the father?”“A handsome stranger who isn’t replying to the messages I left him.”“He might still reply.”I scoffed. “Yeah right. And he will save me from getting married,” I said sarcastically.She got up and grabbed a file. “Look at the bright side though.”“Which side?”“Your baby will come out beautiful.”I nodded in agreement as I replayed Alessandro’s face in my head. Not realising that I was already wearing a smile, I replied almost quietly, “I am glad I have this baby.”
CarrieMy head swirled and my heart thudded. As though I just saw a ghost, I looked ahead in shock while my back stayed glued to the surface of the door behind me.But... wait. Why should I be this way? Why should I cower as though I am owing the man on the other side a huge sum of money?I mean…My knees adjusted their crookedness and I stood upright while a pondering look etched itself on my face.… even though it was almost a month late, the father of my child is finally at my door.“Carrie Edwards. I am sure you remember me. Open the door,” his voice ordered from the other side and I almost found myself rushing to do as he said.But no, I need to gather my thoughts first.For starters, I will let him know his presence is not needed. When it was desperately needed, he did not reply to his messages because he was on Mars or wherever he was.After that, I will get rid of him. Having him linger around the house will be a bad thing for me and the baby.Okay, I know that makes no sense.
CarrieAlessandro and I sat in silence for a very long time. We held hands and stared at the sea and the way it displayed its beauty while the wind played with it.Then, after many minutes, I asked, “How have you been?”Alessandro faced me, his gorgeous eyes making my heart skip as though it was the first time meeting him. “Before a few moments ago, I have been shitty. Very shitty.”His response tempted me to imagine how terrible things were for him when my father captured me. But a glimpse of that imagination made my heart ache, so I quickly dumped that idea.“I am sorry, Alessandro.“Why?”“My father caused us so much pain. He uh-” I lowered my head while a faint memory of how I suffered in that dark room seeped into my mind.“Don’t think about it, Carrie.” Alessandro’s soft gaze met mine. “It is too sad.”“It happened, Alessandro. How do I face it if I don’t think about it?”“Carrie.” A crack entered his voice and for some seconds, he bit into his lips. “You were in hell back there
Alessandro“Mr. Valante,” the doctor dragged me out of my deep thoughts.“How is she?” After Carrie asked a question that made my entire soul crash, she lost consciousness and we had to rush her to the hospital.“Thankfully, we were able to stabilise her, but she needs to be watched for some days. While we wait, we’ll run necessary tests and take care of her to the best of our ability.”“Will she be fine?” That was all I wished to know.“Yes. I believe she will overcome this.” The doctor still had questions. “From the chart I got from the patient’s previous hospital, it indicated that she was pregnant.”My throat felt heavier. “She… She lost the baby, didn’t she?”He sighed. Then he nodded. “We will have to test for an overdose. Especially for Diclofenac and Misoprostol. It is possible that they were given to the patient regularly. If that turns out to be true, the culprit will be charged with murder. That’s as far as I know.”“Thank you, doctor. But…” I hesitated to ask my question bu
CarrieWhen my eyes opened again, I felt strange, I felt clean. But that feeling failed to override the disappointment I felt when I realised that I was still alive.Darkness surrounded me as usual and emptiness joined the party.And all I could do was stare at nothing and wait for the worst to happen.Many moments later, the door opened and the light came on.Gary stepped into the room.“You are awake,” he said, his hand carrying a tray of what seemed to be food.I could have scoffed at that sight if I had the strength. At this point, eating is meaningless. I doubt I would be able to swallow anything.“You should eat,” Gary continued. He knelt and dropped the tray on the floor. “It has been days since you had anything. You should at least eat something.”“Gary…” My voice was greatly weak as usual.“Yes, Carrie?” I listened as he dragged himself closer. “What is it? Do you need to go to the bathroom? You don’t have to make a mess here anymore. It is unhealthy.”“I…” I focused on the ce
AlessandroI have lost my mind.I’ll keep losing my mind.I’ll keep letting images of Carrie haunt me in dreams and real life. I’ll continue to be a version of myself I’ll never understand as long as things continue this way.It’s been a month since Carrie’s disappearance and everything has turned upside down. After a long day of locating Carrie to no avail, I resort to a lifestyle that makes me furious with myself.I can’t stop it though. Right now, it’s the only way I know to survive.And that’s why I won’t back away from crushing the head of the man kneeling in front of me with the end of my gun.That’s right. I went back to CDP.I thought it was the only place I could be fairly sane while I searched for Carrie.But what happens now that I’ve lost a great deal of my sanity? I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow of things and see if I’ll lose every other thing in my life.After all, it seems I’m about to lose Carrie.The grip I had on the man’s hair loosened and I staggered bac
( Trigger Warning for chapters ahead: Mild imagery related to miscarriage. Please take note.)CarrieA groan left my lips and I opened my eyes. My sight settled on an unfamiliar ceiling and for many seconds, I blinked furiously while my mind fell into deep confusion.The purely white ceiling also seemed to mess with my mind because I couldn’t bring myself to think about the last thing that happened to me. The more I racked my mind, the more a strange pain wrapped around my head.I also tried to move but nothing happened. I attempted calling for Alessandro, but my lips were unmovable, and my throat felt weird as well.So, all I could do was stare at the ceiling.But, minutes later, I discovered that my hearing sense was working quite fine when a rather manly footstep filled the room. Hearing that made me eager to move, I wished to know who the person was.The person decided to spare me the trouble.“Hello, Carrie.” The voice was familiar. “You are finally awake.” The person moved close
Carrie“What did you just say?” I rushed to the front door, my hands managing to push Alessandro to the side. I could not recognize the tall man I almost jammed chests with. “Who passed away? Which Mr. Edwards?”The man faced Alessandro. And I did the same.“Alessandro. What is he talking about? Who is dead?”Alessandro peeled his eyes off mine. “Calistus, grazie. Let’s talk some other time.”“Alessandro!” I stomped a foot on the ground. “Please…”With a hand, he hugged me from behind and closed the door. “Why are you trying to harm yourself? Relax, Carrie.”“How can I relax?” At this point, my eyes started to well tears because Alessandro’s hesitation was enough to tell that the mentioned Mr. Edwards was indeed my father. “My… My father is dead.”“Carrie…”“Don’t even lie to me. Don’t lie to me.”“Carrie…” He settled me on the nearest couch. Our eyes met and my lips wore an ugly expression while incoming tears bloated my throat.“It’s… It’s my father, isn’t it?” Alessandro sighed and
CarrieThree days later, we left the hotel and headed for our home, the modern bungalow that continues to take my breath each time I set my eyes on it.But as Alessandro drove to our destination, I noticed that he was quiet in a way that told me that he was already swimming in regret. I considered reaching for his hand to assure him that I will always be available for him to talk to, but it would be unwise to become a distraction while he’s driving.So, I adjusted my position and postponed my thoughts.“Carrie?”“Yes, Alessandro? Hmm.” I shook my head as though I just said something forbidden. “That’s wrong. Yes, my husband?”Alessandro could not hold back his loud laughter. It erupted in a way that instantly made my heart fly with joy.“Why is that so good to hear?” he asked.“Because it is the truth.” I brought my left hand to his face. “We are married. I am your wife and I am your husband.”His affection-filled eyes racked my body and I felt my cheeks flush, I almost bit into my li
CarrieAs I walked, a lovely piano sound filled the air and that helped me stay focused on Alessandro only.The man was not exactly smiling, but the gaze he carried held and drew me closer and closer until the distance between us was closed.“Hello, my flower,” he greeted once he took my arm off Eduardo’s.“Hello.” I sounded like a shy bride who was yet to know the ways of a marital bed.“You look absolutely beautiful.”“So do you.”He leaned closer and lowered his voice some more, “Your neck looks sexy.”My hairdo allowed a full exposure of my neck. I am aware that my neck is one of the sexiest features of my body, so I smiled knowingly at his sentence and if it were possible, I wished to have a kiss planted there.“Hmm…” The slightly aged man behind us cleared his throat. “I was informed that this is meant to be a short ceremony, so we will keep it short.” He eyed Alessandro and me till we took a few steps away from each other. “Dearly beloved, we gathered on this fine day to celebr
CarrieTrue to Alessandro’s words, our wedding was slated to be held a week after the proposal. And after many hours of rigorous preparation for what was meant to be a lowkey wedding, the morning of our new start arrived and I woke up feeling extremely nervous.And things got worse when I looked down at the outdoor wedding setup from the window of the small hotel we booked. And it became extremely worse when I took a look around my room and realised that I was alone with my simple wedding gown hanging on a grand rack opposite my bed.I know that I have been alone for a while, but at this moment when I am sitting down on my bed and staring at my gown, it hits me more and more that I am really by myself. I don’t even have anyone to walk me down the aisle.I at least had my Uncle for the first wedding.But then, I can hold a side of my stomach and imagine my baby is walking me down the aisle as I proceed to marry his or her father.I do wonder if my child will be a boy or a girl.“Sister