Carrie
No, no, no. No.
That can’t be right.
“Carrie?” I looked up at my Dad, my mind in jeopardy. “When did you and Frank get intimate? Why don’t you want to get married then?”
Uh? Intimate? Frank?
Wh-What is my old man talking about?
My father must have sensed that I was not ready to give him a response, so he faced Frank who had been busy pressing his phone with rigour until the news bomb was dropped.
“Frank...” As my Father called the man, my eyes that were squinted out of fear darted in the his direction. “You never told me you and Carrie finally hit it off.”
“Hit what off?”
Oh my. My dad is going to lose it soon. Oh, I am eternally doomed.
Excitedly, my father replied to Frank, saying, “Didn’t you hear? Carrie is pregnant.” His dark eyes shined brighter than they ever have and the happiness my father was displaying made him look pitiful. “Frank, this calls for celebration. This is-”
“Sir…” An air of darkness overpowered Frank’s stance. Before he continued, his eyes met mine, he jerked his brows in question and while I held his gaze, I could feel my inner soul crumbling so much that I ground my teeth to keep myself sane. “Your daughter and I have never gotten intimate. In fact, until this moment, I never knew what she looked like in person.”
Oh, my sweet Lord. I am done for.
“Wh-What?” I could sense my father’s anger building up. But when he turned to face me and I saw that the fury had overpowered his face, I almost let out a cry. That urge to cry intensified when he called me, a strain in his voice to show his pain. “C-Carrie… What is the meaning of this?”
“Dad...”
“Carrie, how?”
“Dad I...”
“That night...” His fingers ticked as he reluctantly gathered his words. “Th-That night you ran away, what happened?”
“Dad I...”
“Carrie... Tell me, what happened?” His demand was strong, my soul felt more tremor.
“I uh...” I gulped while my legs cautiously began to take small steps backwards. “I met this man and we uh... I uh...”
“You had sex with a stranger.” My father had a sarcastic smile on his thin lips. “Carrie!” I jolted. “You were going to get married, but what? You went to have sex with a stranger.” He laughed hard and my heart squeezed.
“Dad...”
He stopped me with his hand. “Now you are pregnant. Pregnant, Carrie!” I jolted again. “Pregnant. My daughter is fucking pregnant.” Despite the strength in his voice, I could read my father’s sorrow. I could see how the sides of his eyes wrinkled occasionally to pinch his tears away. My actions have finally broken my father’s heart and now… I have finally broken my soul.
“Dad...” Everyone in the room planted their eyes on me. They were waiting for my excuse, for me to clear the issue on ground. But that’s the issue. There’s nothing to clear.
If by a tiny chance, the hospital result isn’t fabricated, then I am indeed pregnant.
But what kind of stupid girl am I? If I was going to forget to use contraceptives, I should have let that gorgeous stranger do things his way.
Argh! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I am so stupid.
Straightening his depressed back, my father exhaled loudly and dragged me out of my chaotic thoughts as he said, “This is the last straw, Carrie, Now you have to do things my way.”
“Dad?” I knew within me that his upcoming words wouldn’t be something I would like in any way. But I have brought this terrible moment upon myself.
“I am going to give you two options to choose from, Carrie. You either find the man responsible for this pregnancy and when you do, have him take care of you.” My mouth fell open. “Or get married to Frank now, with or without the pregnancy.”
“But Dad...”
“I am giving you a week to find this man. Once that window is over and you have nothing, I am marrying you off. You are not a daughter I want to see around.”
“But how do you expect me to find him? I don’t even know-”
“Steve, take Carrie to the hospital and do another pregnancy test to be sure.” My father had already reached the stage where he never listens to whatever anyone says. Never.
So I knew. I knew that my father’s back had turned on me. He just needed to nail the coffin he has set up and soon, I will become nothing in his eyes.
The mere thought of becoming a stranger in my father’s eyes made my heart tug in a way it had never done before. Biting into my lower lip, while trying to fight my tears, I was considering getting down on my knees to beg him when his voice filled the room again.
“Carrie.” My head came up. “If you are truly pregnant, you know what to do. You have two choices.”
“Dad please...”
A few steps forward, and my Dad was standing very close to me, his eyes peering deeply into mine. “I am very disappointed in you, Carrie. Very disappointed.”
The cry I had been trying to stifle dropped from my lips and my heart felt a million weights dragging it to the depth of a dark hole inside me. My heart broke so much that my knees refused to function well.
So, slowly, I dropped onto the cold floor and as I did, my eyes fell on Frank, who didn’t spare me a lengthy glance.
As my father walked out, he followed. And soon, the room was empty and all I could hear in my head was my father telling me that he was disappointed.
My father has never said that to me. Not once. Not even when I exhibited the most mischievous acts. Not even when he had to save me from the deepest of troubles.
Well, it seems this moment is the deepest of my troubles. Staring at the tiled floor, I placed a hand on my stomach which was supposedly housing another soul. Then, I wondered how things were going to be like from then on.
I sighed deeply at that question. Because things are definitely not going to be good.
~~~
Another test revealed that I was truly pregnant.
Ha ha.
The universe is trying hard to play a fast one on me. Because, with my father’s laid down options, I am already in a tight spot and there is no possible way I can find Alessandro.
But that doesn’t mean I am not willing to search for Alessandro. I will even hunt him down if necessary. I will stalk him until I find him because I desperately don’t want to get married to Frank.
But one week is barely enough to find the man whose baby is growing inside me.
But, as I said, I am willing to search for him. And that’s why I am presently staring at the tallness of the hotel he took me to. So, now, I have to hope that he is there.
“Do you think you will find him there?” Gary broke into my thoughts. He was wearing the look of pity everyone but my father has been throwing my way since they heard of my situation.
“I hope I do. How is it going with the search?” Gary was carrying out his own search. It is a long process, but it is likely to be fruitful at the end of the year.
“Trust me, Carrie. There are thousands of Alessandro and we are yet to go through a quarter of the list.”
My lips formed a smear, my hand went to my belly and the thought that I was pregnant befell me.
Alongside the pity everyone carried, I could decipher their question of whether or not I would keep the baby.
Truthfully, I will keep the baby.
I am aware that it is nearly impossible to find Alessandro within a week, especially if he no longer stays in the hotel. So, if I am to get married to Frank, I will need a companion and that will be the baby inside me.
At least, a kind of genuine love will exist between my baby and me and maybe I will learn how to become a better person.
Seconds later, I pulled out of my thoughts. After taking a deep sigh, I faced my bodyguard and appreciated him for helping me. Soon, I got down from the vehicle and approached the huge building which looked a bit different in my eyes. Well, maybe that’s because it was nighttime the first time I got a view of the building.
With further haste, I went to the reception and approached the front desk.
“Hi.”
The tall lady with her hair in an adorable bob raised her head from the computer system in front of her. “Good day, ma’am. How may I help you?”
“Uh... I am looking for someone. About four weeks ago, I came with him to this hotel and I need to check if he is still around.”
“Can I know his name?”
“Alessandro Something. I don’t know his full name.”
For a second, she gave me a questioning look. “Do you remember the room he lodged in?”
“I believe it was 305.” I should credit my brain for being active at a time like this.
“Okay...” The keyboard at the base of her fingers sang as she rapidly inputted something. “Uh... That should be Mr. Alessandro Valante you are asking of.”
A little shrug came from me as I said, “I guess. Is he still around?”
“Unfortunately, he signed out last week.” Oh no. “But he left a couple of complimentary cards with us in case someone came looking for him.”
“Yes, please. I would like that.” Maybe I have some hope after all.
She reached for one of the small glass boxes laid on the polished wooden bar and handed me one of the cards inside it. “That is his office location. Maybe you will find him there.”
“Oh, thank you.”
“You are welcome.” As I turned to help myself out, I felt a little ache in my legs which caused me to quickly grip the edge of the table before I could reach the floor. “Are you okay?” she asked with concern.
“Yeah...” Repeated and loud exhales escaped me as I waited for the pain to subside. When it did, I faced the woman with a smile and said, “I guess I am a little tired.”
“Do take care of yourself, please.” In this trying time I have found myself, her words made me feel warm, even if for a moment. So I appreciated her.
And, when I was sure that I wasn’t going to crash onto the floor, I walked out, my eyes intently studying the card in my hand.
Looking at the card made a flicker of hope grow inside me because it looked as though I would get a chance to avoid the greatest punishment of all time.
CarrieAlessandro and I sat in silence for a very long time. We held hands and stared at the sea and the way it displayed its beauty while the wind played with it.Then, after many minutes, I asked, “How have you been?”Alessandro faced me, his gorgeous eyes making my heart skip as though it was the first time meeting him. “Before a few moments ago, I have been shitty. Very shitty.”His response tempted me to imagine how terrible things were for him when my father captured me. But a glimpse of that imagination made my heart ache, so I quickly dumped that idea.“I am sorry, Alessandro.“Why?”“My father caused us so much pain. He uh-” I lowered my head while a faint memory of how I suffered in that dark room seeped into my mind.“Don’t think about it, Carrie.” Alessandro’s soft gaze met mine. “It is too sad.”“It happened, Alessandro. How do I face it if I don’t think about it?”“Carrie.” A crack entered his voice and for some seconds, he bit into his lips. “You were in hell back there
Alessandro“Mr. Valante,” the doctor dragged me out of my deep thoughts.“How is she?” After Carrie asked a question that made my entire soul crash, she lost consciousness and we had to rush her to the hospital.“Thankfully, we were able to stabilise her, but she needs to be watched for some days. While we wait, we’ll run necessary tests and take care of her to the best of our ability.”“Will she be fine?” That was all I wished to know.“Yes. I believe she will overcome this.” The doctor still had questions. “From the chart I got from the patient’s previous hospital, it indicated that she was pregnant.”My throat felt heavier. “She… She lost the baby, didn’t she?”He sighed. Then he nodded. “We will have to test for an overdose. Especially for Diclofenac and Misoprostol. It is possible that they were given to the patient regularly. If that turns out to be true, the culprit will be charged with murder. That’s as far as I know.”“Thank you, doctor. But…” I hesitated to ask my question bu
CarrieWhen my eyes opened again, I felt strange, I felt clean. But that feeling failed to override the disappointment I felt when I realised that I was still alive.Darkness surrounded me as usual and emptiness joined the party.And all I could do was stare at nothing and wait for the worst to happen.Many moments later, the door opened and the light came on.Gary stepped into the room.“You are awake,” he said, his hand carrying a tray of what seemed to be food.I could have scoffed at that sight if I had the strength. At this point, eating is meaningless. I doubt I would be able to swallow anything.“You should eat,” Gary continued. He knelt and dropped the tray on the floor. “It has been days since you had anything. You should at least eat something.”“Gary…” My voice was greatly weak as usual.“Yes, Carrie?” I listened as he dragged himself closer. “What is it? Do you need to go to the bathroom? You don’t have to make a mess here anymore. It is unhealthy.”“I…” I focused on the ce
AlessandroI have lost my mind.I’ll keep losing my mind.I’ll keep letting images of Carrie haunt me in dreams and real life. I’ll continue to be a version of myself I’ll never understand as long as things continue this way.It’s been a month since Carrie’s disappearance and everything has turned upside down. After a long day of locating Carrie to no avail, I resort to a lifestyle that makes me furious with myself.I can’t stop it though. Right now, it’s the only way I know to survive.And that’s why I won’t back away from crushing the head of the man kneeling in front of me with the end of my gun.That’s right. I went back to CDP.I thought it was the only place I could be fairly sane while I searched for Carrie.But what happens now that I’ve lost a great deal of my sanity? I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow of things and see if I’ll lose every other thing in my life.After all, it seems I’m about to lose Carrie.The grip I had on the man’s hair loosened and I staggered bac
( Trigger Warning for chapters ahead: Mild imagery related to miscarriage. Please take note.)CarrieA groan left my lips and I opened my eyes. My sight settled on an unfamiliar ceiling and for many seconds, I blinked furiously while my mind fell into deep confusion.The purely white ceiling also seemed to mess with my mind because I couldn’t bring myself to think about the last thing that happened to me. The more I racked my mind, the more a strange pain wrapped around my head.I also tried to move but nothing happened. I attempted calling for Alessandro, but my lips were unmovable, and my throat felt weird as well.So, all I could do was stare at the ceiling.But, minutes later, I discovered that my hearing sense was working quite fine when a rather manly footstep filled the room. Hearing that made me eager to move, I wished to know who the person was.The person decided to spare me the trouble.“Hello, Carrie.” The voice was familiar. “You are finally awake.” The person moved close
Carrie“What did you just say?” I rushed to the front door, my hands managing to push Alessandro to the side. I could not recognize the tall man I almost jammed chests with. “Who passed away? Which Mr. Edwards?”The man faced Alessandro. And I did the same.“Alessandro. What is he talking about? Who is dead?”Alessandro peeled his eyes off mine. “Calistus, grazie. Let’s talk some other time.”“Alessandro!” I stomped a foot on the ground. “Please…”With a hand, he hugged me from behind and closed the door. “Why are you trying to harm yourself? Relax, Carrie.”“How can I relax?” At this point, my eyes started to well tears because Alessandro’s hesitation was enough to tell that the mentioned Mr. Edwards was indeed my father. “My… My father is dead.”“Carrie…”“Don’t even lie to me. Don’t lie to me.”“Carrie…” He settled me on the nearest couch. Our eyes met and my lips wore an ugly expression while incoming tears bloated my throat.“It’s… It’s my father, isn’t it?” Alessandro sighed and