for John AshberyThe literary life is never easy, you saw it firstin the convex mirror, its spreading tensionthe surface of claw-prints in silver. I then triedto learn how to read humour and surprisedisguised as a shadow pretending to havenever seen alchemy winnow through thistlesdown the dark alleys of your city parks. I,the wanderer learning how to drift pastshoe factories and never pay attentionto the still-chiming ways of lookingat a lamppost, would like to say, You arethe art of consciousness, the consciousnessof art! Uniform of the swirling things,you are: desk, papers, dried leaves, moneybills, memos, pills, tears, the image. Allsurround me like a magma of memoriesshutting down the last sex of wine from ash.
I feel terribly whole tonight because of the nightrain& the proud No Fireworks sign out there on the street.I feel terribly dangerous I could let my right hand arm-wrestle the left hand of the clock before midnightsmokes up an illusion of the forgotten ledbetters &faux romantics. I could smash bricks w/ my silence& then screw & shout ‘till my bones crow to ask:do you remember your neighbor’s rabbit that fellin love w/ the rooster because it’s the Year of the Rabbit?what about rain trees, purple prose, the scattered zines& rhizomes? don’t they all speak of the symbolic symptom?feel free to say it out loud. panda-eyed, freezing cold,I know. I know the feeling, the stroke of the bokusekibrush, the memory on the wall like graffitied genitaliafrom the ceiling to the floor. I speak my mind free.i speak it free like when you spill secrets in a publicphone box, insisting that writers send ideas to priso
You see this humdrum townBacolor or Apalit or Macabebe9seeking colors & flood tide arias on the impulseof a rainy Saturday afternoonbeforethe machinery of undergarment civility because a harness will only be made for onefar away from the closetripraps & minuetsageing windows sigh in the airI have no plans & precedents—when in this charming confirmationyour handsome decision loungeson the very idea I suppose was your ideaof the blue histories of weather reportin a coma,wishfully contactingRogelio de la Rosa (makananu tana?),his name typed up slowly, fur is flying—lightness!—but you got everything nowround your mythic little fingerslife at the alterations shopoh what a terrible mess I’ve madeof this ending,ending of a poem.&
1A tourist destination in the province of Pampanga where air bases were built during the Americla colonial rule in the Philippines 2It is a volcano located on the island of Flores in Indonesia. 3Wild ducks in the native lexis of the people in Candaba, Pampanga in the Philippines. 4 A common place or town terminal where Philippine tricycles (or trikes) are used as service vehicles 5 A creature in Philippine mythology said to come out at night to suck the blood of victims from their shadows 6 A trite Filipino expression meaning “Are you sick of things?” 7 A Taglish or Tagalog English expression for “Let’s go!” 8An always crowded station on the Metro Rail Transit (MRT) in Manila, Philippines 9 All three towns of the province of Pampanga in Central Luzon in the Philippines
Tunnel #1 (vegetable mineral emergency)At five a.m. vegetables are goingto be delivered but no market destination yet.My stomach sags with old food in this long daytrip from yesterday’s nightmare to this recoveryyour mother signs with anonymity.These wrinkles on the face are nothingbut fattening asparagus wired to my brain’sstreet map of indeterminacy. Visible horizonglowing my hair, to be grey and still; I hopeI care for another season. This tunnel caresso much about mobility and personal crises.It does. It’s the reason why we deliverdried oreganos or life and death safely frompoint to point, why in express we smell home.I stay alive though, sensing velocityas an ambulance would in a dream—brisk, accidental. Remember the first timeyour little bones cried for milk?The turquoise light I detest are eyes,the remaining light so imperial to touch basethe remaining skin of distance, my a
How do you savor the nightin its humid cloak of stars?Where are the clocks that tell uswe’ll never be archaic?Inside your guerilla flameyou sleep and somehowyou are freewith all but the dreamof cockatoos and Lake Sebu.The moment I picturein my mind that dogs can flybecause you close your eyes,your lips against a womanly mirage,you are your own moment.I am amazed by your peaceand sleep and your breathingsquarely in the quiet air.
It’s all right.That open window to your precedents,once it tumbles downafter shaking the earth’s disease,I’ll parry for youthe brisk blow of emotionsin the lateness of the world.I hurry home as thoughyou are there blinking with your fist.The night sabotaged by your fears,your fantasy castlebuilt upon my brain,your kindnessthe self-portrait of silk.Even what was beyondKinsale was recastin your dream’s silhouette;you gave the towncolourful wings winnowingover hills and harbours,its vibrant history a mouthand a howl,its ancient spirit your new meadso you can float acrossthe tops of pubs contemplatingthe signs of true love.
(noun: Loss)I give up my chance which is the crucial lasttwo minutes call in a basketball finals series.I give up my last mango shake which specifiesthe yellow fruit from the green drizzlestopping the late freeze by a too early ripening.I give up my time which is the best timeto quit and not the best time to quit trying.I give up my space which is you knowI do not really know nor recognize for itsterritoriality, its formation of forlorn insects.I give up my starshine patience (naïve melody),as it’s like teaching the kids how to shootfor the stars which are like shadows on the walland not anymore those daddy tricks which remindthem they’re kids, and that to myself I’m a Komodo.I give up my right shoe which usually sends mephotographs, by the way old photographsof my head and feet together, from my left shoesailing far across the crater lakes of Kelimutu2.I give up my vision which is ultravioletat a research conference while poetry asmo