CHAPTER 4: He Fainted!

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THEON XEDRIC LEE

“Come in, George.”  I instructed him.

George was my personal male servant and the one who I trusted, every time I need something, he made sure he had his ways even though he knew that my father was against it. When he entered my room, I suddenly asked him about the food he brought.

“It’s your favourite rice cake, Sir.” He answered.

Well, I just don’t know but rice cake was my favourite breakfast and indeed my comfort food and it made me feel like I was not alone.

I actually asked George to buy me race cake yesterday because I was so stressed about my dad pushing me to be okay, and there’s nothing to be pushed because I was fine, well, that was on my end. Everyone was thinking that I was not okay but actually, if you wanted me to be honest, I was really fine. Yes I do.

When I had my first bite, it shooed the pressure away as if the rice cake had magic on it. And I actually believed that there was, really. Before George left, I asked him if where he bought those rice cakes, because so far, that was the best, tasty rice cake I ever tasted.

George answered, “I bought them from an old lady in the market’.

“Please don’t forget to buy me another set for tomorrow’s breakfast, okay?” I asked.

“Yeah sure. I will.”

“Thanks George! By the way, I have here list of books I need, can you buy them for me?”

George took the list and he promised to buy those books as soon as possible. 

Yeah, reading books became my hobbies. Name it, novel, inspirational, geography, magazine, and dictionary – I almost read all genres available in all bookstores. I love reading books and sometimes, I gave George the authority to buy any books he felt I need or I had interested with. Surprisingly, he never failed me to do his task well. So far, I love the books he had chosen for me.

“I have to go sir Theon. Enjoy your breakfast!”  

So, finally he left me alone. So, I grabbed the novel book I read entitled “The Bitch and The Player”. So far, it was one of my favourite novels because the story was really interesting where two villains fell in love each other. I was thrilled turning the pages, and each chapter was cliff-hanger.  I read the part where the lead characters kissed. Then, I asked myself if how does it feel like kissing, especially kissing a girl you like.

Well, maybe that question or even imagination would remain imagination for the rest of my life. Because apart from the extreme introversion I was suffering to, I also had this condition that when a girl touches me, I faint. It sounded funny right? Yeah, I could not blame you, me too, I found it so absurd that when someone touches me, it makes me weak, reason why I won’t allow my mother to visit me on my room as well. Though we talk, but I made sure that we’re far from each other.

I was wondering if there was someone like me in the world or I was just alone having this kind of condition. I didn’t know if this was a curse or what, but I had no choice but to accept it. That having a girlfriend will never happen to me or even kissing a girl would almost impossible. One psychologist tried to explain that it may linked to my childhood experiences which I was not aware of. Then, she mentioned that there were memories that we repressed because we hated them and somehow, the repercussion of those memories or incidents were thoroughly painful. Since, those memories were painful, we never bothered to think about them but instead where are trying to divert our attention to something else.

Promise, I could not think of any incident I had when I was a kid, or maybe I had amnesia, I didn’t know. I was always trying to decipher my situation but the more I looked for answers about it, the more it made me frustrated.

I remembered the first time It happened, when I was twelve or thirteen, when my crush, back in grade school, touched me. I felt something within me, like a buzz of joy or an electricity or spark, I didn’t know but something that made me fainted. Then, when I woke up I already in the clinic. As day passed by, it became clear to me about it. I even investigated it. I tried it with my male classmate, I asked someone to touch me, though it was really awkward but he did it anyway. Then, nothing happened. But when a girl tried to touch me, I fainted. But it didn’t work it other way around, if I touched anyone, nothing happened to me. After a series of incident about me being fainted, my dad enrolled me in an all-male school.

So, technically, I just embraced what happened to me and I guess, no one could help me with this condition, not any salient doctor. Well, speaking of doctor, my dad also tried to visit various hospitals just to have me checked. He was thinking that maybe I had a disease or skin illness or anything related to medicine but the doctor also failed to distinguish if what my condition was.

When I decided to stop studying, and when I lived in the four corner of my room, my father tried to hide me from everyone as well even to his friends, to our relatives and even to everyone we knew. It was fine with me, but every time he created lies because of me, I feel sad because he made everyone believe that I was in abroad studying. Well, it was also hard on his part, maybe.

After taking my breakfast and reading a book, I went to the gym. There was a connecting door to the gym. So, technically the gym was beside my room. My father made it easy for me to access everything I need. Actually, getting fit, or building muscle was not my idea at all, my dad suggested it just in case I would get bored living in my safe haven alone. Well I said that it would be fine, I was actually doing great without it but he insisted. So, to make use of the gym, I added it on my daily itinerary. Though, sometimes, when he felt like I was doing it alone, he joined me but that was once in a blue moon.

Then after making myself fit and healthy, lessons were waiting for me on my study room. So, like the gym, there was also a connecting door to the study room where I had the access to my entire lesson and everything I need for my education. At that time, modules were left and instructions were given. After spending almost four hours, it was time for me to go back to my room to take a rest.

“Dinner is ready.”

A different voice was spotted on my door step, I knew a lot that it was not George, but when I heard the voice again, I got up and covered my whole body with my blanket just like a baby playing the role of a ghost. When I opened the door, it was my mom, Rebecca, and she got scared and the tray she was holding almost fell. But luckily, she managed to handle it well.

“Oh my good Lord, you scared me.” My mom said.

“Why are you here mom? Where is George?” I asked.

Rebecca replied, “I miss you so much my son and It’s been four days since the last time I saw you and even if you forbid, no one can stop me from doing this. At the end, I am still your mother.”

My mother acted as if I abandoned her and her choice of words was totally not hers but from the series she used to watch. She was fond of watching Netflix series like the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Lucifer and Curse. By the way, did I mention you that she was a former actress, and stopped her acting career when she got pregnant by my father.

“Worry not because I will be very careful not touch you. So go on, take your seat and take this meal I personally prepared for my only, begotten son.”

“Mom, can you stop using that word like as if I were Jesus Christ.”

Did I also mention that my mother was a devoted catholic and she was always praying to the Lord to heal me but until now, I guessed the Lord was deaf to her prayer or maybe, she was not just praying devotedly or sincerely.

“Mom, I can’t, especially when you are staring at me like that. Let me just eat alone.” I requested.

I hated to do it but I could not really eat when someone was looking at me even though it was my mother. So, she left me at once and ate my dinner.

That was usually what I do almost every day. It was kinda boring if you look at it but I really got used to it, to be honest!