DAV1L.69: Why don't you come to Uryburg City? The city awaits you!
DAV1L.69: It's a money issue, isn't it?
DAV1L.69: You know I can help you with money if it's a problem, right? Not to brag but I have plenty spare.
DAV1L.69:...???
DAV1L.69: Have I said something wrong?
DAV1L.69: Maybe a picture of my 🍆would cheer you up?
I giggle to myself and feel a flush of excitement. I want to go to the big city, I really do, and money is one of the reasons why I can't. Another reason is… well… I'm a coward. Sencuba is home. It's familiar and comforting. I can’t afford to go to the big city, even if I save up for a year.
LizCox.311: Definitely Do not send 🍆 pics!
DAV1L.69: There you are! I was worried!
LizCox.311: Really?
DAV1L.69: Of course. You're the realest woman I've spoken to here.
DAV1L.69: How much money do you need? I'd like to see you, Liz.
DAV1L.69: Liz??
I watch the messages come through one after the other and swallow my bubbling nerves.
LizCox.311: I can't, I'm sorry.
DAV1L.69: Don't make me come find you.
LizCox.311: I just want to feel independent. I can't take money from you, It wouldn't feel right.
DAV1L.69: Well, if you change your mind
LizCox.311: Yeah, I'll let you know. Thanks Dav1l
DAV1L.69: Please, call me Davon.
I smile to myself. I'll make it one day. One day I'll step foot into the city and find myself there. No, not find myself, I know who I am! I'm Lisbeth Marylue Cox. I am a 30 year old woman from the coast of Sencuba who's been working in a book shop for five years. That's me. But I'm lacking… purpose. Yes… that's it. I'm lacking purpose.
A breeze rolls through the open shop front, a humid, dry breeze. I like Davon. He understands me. I think so, anyway. I look across to my sister who looks deep in thought at something she had just read. "Darn it. No dick pics today." I close the dating website page and chuckle to myself. "No? Not even one?" Arianna asked and turned the page of her book. "Not even one!" I stand and head to the coffee machine, an old one that was donated a year or so back, but it works a charm, most of the time. I fill two cups of coffee; the good stuff which our brother managed to import back from a fishing trip. Which reminds me… "Isn't Lakista meant to be coming home today? We didn't sort out the spare bed." I put Arianna's drink in front of her and put mine beside the computer. "I believe so. That's OK, I'm sure he can sort it out, he's a big boy." I watch Arianna smirk and for a brief second I see mother there in her place. The day passes by slowly, as usual. A few customers here and there, dividing the day into perfectly predictable sections until it was time to shut everything down and take the walk back down the beach. We walk, the cool waves of the ocean gently lapping our sore, hot feet until we pass our shack, pass our neighbouring shacks until the beach opens up. The community came into view, sat talking, laughing and eating around a huge open fire. We both smell it from here. Fish. "Lakistas home!" I sing and pull away from Arianna and run down the white sand, my heels digging into the cool powder as I sprint toward the gathering. I'm vigilant, and within seconds I manage to pluck my brother from the crowd of bronze skin. He must have seen us coming as he extends two fish skewers out towards us. I take mine, an uncontrollable smile ablaze like a fire on my face. "Lakista!" I chuckle and pull him into a half hug, careful not to poke one another with the skewers. "Liz! How are you?" He asks and kisses my forehead gently. Lakista is a big man in his 40s, broad shoulders and long shaggy hair and yet his touch is always impeccably gentle. "Not much changes around here. I should be the one asking how you are. You're the one out there… cruising the vicious oceans waves and catching fish and sharks.""It's hardly a vicious ocean. Not unless you go around to Ubar. You think catching fish is far more exciting and dangerous than it actually is. It's cute. Hi Arianna." Lakista places a single kiss to Arianna's forehead and hands her a fish skewer. "Catching fish is more exciting than sitting inside a bookshop six days a week." I say and take a bite of the fish skewer. I was so grateful for the food. Tomorrow, we will feast like God's. "You say that like you're not happy here." Arianna cocks her head curiously. I sigh. "I'm content.""But you're not happy?"
How could I answer that? I look to Lakista in search of an answer but he simply stares right back. "I feel like I lack a purpose. A real purpose. I'm thirty now, half of my life has already passed and I feel like I've achieved nothing." I say. The flames of the open fire warms the cooling air. The sound of the ocean beneath the sounds of the pops and crackles of burning wood. People talk among each other, one big, close family. The youngest member of the community was in her early twenties. The amount of women easily overpowers the number of men. The youngest man was Adane, one of Lakistas fishing team. He had just turned twenty-five. What I'm trying to say, really, was there's no one here around my age. No one I can possibly form a relationship with or start a family with, hence the dating profile. "You're lacking in life, I've seen it before. You're desiring a man. A family, your own family. Your own job. Your own house. You want to find yourself." Lakista takes a bite of fish like he hadn't just dropped the realest truth bomb ever. Arianna nods slowly. "Then, how can we help you? How can we help you get what you desire?" "That's a deep question, Ari." I throw the skewer into the fire. "One I don't think I'm able to answer. Not realistically. I want to go to the city…""Uryburg?" My sister's eyes widen slightly. "Yeah, Uryburg. It's not that I don't want to be here, Arianna, I do. This is home, these are my people. I… I'm just being silly. It will pass." I offer a smile, but it feels flat and empty. "Lisbeth." Lakista takes me by the shoulders and stares into my eyes. "Liz… You're feeling this call to seek something more for a reason. You don't need to settle for second best, sorry Arianna, But if you're not happy then it's worth a try, no? What's the worst that could happen, huh? You find out the city isn't the place for you and you come back home. But, what's the best that could happen? You fit right in, find your purpose and lead an extremely happy life.""God damnit, Lakista. Stop being so right all the time." I mumble with a smile and pull myself into his chest for yet another hug. "Liz, you know I only care about your happiness. I can handle the bookshop by myself. Trust me. I can cope. Why don't you go?" I peel myself away from my brother and feel a flight of nerves. "Because, I'm a coward. That, and money. You know how much it costs, right? Not only do I need to get there but I'd need to pay for a house, travel and then find work. It just seems too much.""But your lover-boy has offered to lend you the money.." Arianna says with a sultry purr and god dammit I hate her for being right. I hate them both for being right. "Wait, my Lisbeth has a lover? When were you going to tell me?" Lakista playfully nudges my arm. "You read my messages?" I can’t help but smile. "I caught a glance when I looked up to see what the time was and just happened to see the messages. Why don't you accept the offer?" "Because I would feel bad.""Not if you could repay it, though. Why don't you see if you could ask for enough money to cover travel and rent for a month on the promise you'll pay it back?" Arianna has a point. "If he's as rich as he says he is, he wouldn't mind.""Fuck it. Let's go. We are asking right now." Lakista pulls us both away from the fire and we are laughing. What did I ever do to deserve this much support? "Come on, I've dropped my things off at the shack already. I have a laptop we can use." I look toward Arianna and she looks back at me with a warm, almost motherly glow. Why isn’t she angry with me for wanting to step away from something so peaceful. So perfect. Once inside the shack, the smell of fish and seawater overpowers the room so we leave the door open to air it out. While Lakista rummages through his bags, Arianna and myself pull out the sofa bed and made it up with the sheets that were draped over the back. Then, the three of us curl up on it together with me in the middle. Lakista puts the laptop onto my lap and I'm surprised at how heavy it is. I click to open the Internet and type in the url of Lucky You and log on. It's much quicker at loading than the old box at the shop. Thankfully. I don't think any of us could cope with the anticipation. I open the messages. He has sent three messages since we last spoke.DAV1L.69: I guess you've left to do your work.
DAV1L.69: Img.Jpg
DAV1L.69: Miss you already.
I chew my lip, the cursor hangs over the link to the image.
"Well, looks like you did get a dick pick in the end." Arianna teases. It is Lakista that clicks the image for me and my heart sinks. Please, don't let it be a dick pic….The image loads and all three of us looks with wide eyes. Not a dick pic… but twice as exciting.The picture is centred around the chest of a man, Davon I'm guessing. He's dressed in a black suit, a smart red shirt buttoned neatly and a black tie down the angled lines of the suit front. We can see a good definition of muscles, even through the shirt and blazer. A cufflink on show. 'Liberton'. "Holy shit, Liz, you hit the jackpot here." Lakista mumbles in amazement. "He's rich enough to wear Liberton…" "My god, you lucky bitch. Gimmie that." Arianna takes the laptop for a closer look at the image. "Mad lucky… Liz, if you don't go and fuck this man raw then I will!" Arianna begins to type a reply but I take it back before she has a chance to make me look bad. Or worse - desperate.LizCox.311: Hello, Davon. I've been thinking.
I hit send and it flashes as 'read' within a few seconds.
Typing…
DAV1L.69: Ooh yeah? Tell me more.
I bite my lip and look toward Arianna. This time, it is Lakista that takes the laptop from me. He clicks away at the keyboard and I trust him enough to know he won't embarrass me. He hits send and passes it back to me.
LizCox.311: I'd like to accept your generous offer of money on the grounds that you let me pay you back. Otherwise, no deal.
I glare sideways at Lakista.
Typing…
DAV1L.69: You really don't need to do that, Liz. I own a multi-million business. I could provide for you to live here for the rest of your life and not notice a change in my bank. How much can I send you?
All three of us read and squirm with joy on this ridiculously small sofa bed.
LizCox.311: Well, I'd need enough to cover travel costs to get there. Also enough to cover rent while I find work. How much do you think would be acceptable?
I pull in my siblings close, adrenaline throbs through us all.
Typing…
DAV1L.69: 500,000
The world stops spinning for all three of us as we glare at the figure on the screen. I had never even seen a number so large.
"Wow, he must really want you there, huh." Arianna rubs a hand across my shoulder.Typing…
DAV1L.69: More?
I swallow and type a response with sweaty fingertips.
LizCox.311: I've never seen a number so large before. You're not serious, are you?
Typing…
DAV1L.69: If you're serious about coming, I'm serious about helping.
Holy shit.
"Do you think he could send it to the shop's account?" I ask Arianna but Lakista took the laptop.
LizCox.311: Can you send it to my brother's account?
Typing…
DAV1L.69: If it means I see you, I'll send it. Can I see a photo of you?
Lakista looks at us with a sly grin. "He wants a photo."
"We can't. We don't have a camera." I respond, but as I look at the laptop I watch an image move on the screen. An image of us three on the sofa bed. I blink and the me in the photo blinks back.
"I have a camera here. Smile." Lakista aims the laptop so it covers all three of us and a timer counts us down.
The moving photo stopped moving and sends.Typing…
DAV1L.69: Let me guess… you're the middle? You're much more beautiful than I had imagined. All three of you.
I blush. Hard.
LizCox.311: That's my sister, Arianna on the far left. Me in the middle and my brother, Lakista on the right.
DAV1L.69: Img505.Jpg
We open the photo. The same black and red suit but this time his face is on show. His milky white skin contrasts the darkness of his suit, but holy fuck he is handsome. He has this angular face, a chin and jaw dappled with facial hair. His eyes are so dark they are almost ink-black. And his hair had been styled to swoop from one side to the other and back. He screams wealth. He screams desire.
Arianna fans her face. "Honestly. I hope you take this opportunity, Lisbeth. It'd be a shame to waste it."LizCox.311: We love your suit.
Typing…
DAV1L.69: Let me talk with Lakista. Let's get you on your way.
I pass the laptop to him reluctantly and scootch off the sofa bed to fetch us drinks. Arianna joins me, both of us hardly fitting in front of the kitchen counter.
"Liz… you have to go. Please. It kills me knowing you're not fully happy here. Consider it a holiday, if you don't like it there you come right back, OK?" "But if I do like it…" "Then we will visit each other often. If you manage to hook up with this guy you won't be short on cash." She smiles and it lights up her caramel eyes. It's infectious, damnit. "It's a done deal, girls!" Lakista closes the laptop and rubs his hands together happily. "Money has been sent. You'll come with me tomorrow after the mid day feast. I can take you up to Uryburgs coastline. There's a little town there where someone will be waiting to pick you up. Apparently someone he trusts a lot." "What kind of business does he even own, girl?" "From what I understand he runs a very popular business." I shrug and pour water from the tap into three glasses. Even with my back turned I can feel their eyes on me. Lakista claps a hand against my shoulder gently. "Does it need to be tomorrow? It just seems a little… fast moving." I scratch the nape of my neck even though it doesn't itch. A nervous tick that comes out from time to time. Lakista looks over me for a while, unsure what to say. Arianna sighs dramatically and takes her water and drinks if it half in one breath. "Liz, my darling sister. Please go. Just for a few days, OK? This isn't a permanent thing right now. Just a few days, a holiday. Get out there and explore. Go out there and live your damn life honey. Not many people get this kind of opportunity. " What if he turns out to be a creep. Or a serial killer." "I don't think a serial killer would spend half a million on someone who's basically a complete stranger, do you?" Lakista takes his water from the side and props up against the sofa bed."Maybe. Can never be too sure can you? Take the Hinksey Murders for example." I sip my water, thankful for the cool hydration but at the same time maybe its a bad idea drinking too much this close to bed time. "It's just natural to stay inside your comfort zone. No one is forcing you to go, but the offer is there, OK?" Lakista ruffles my hair, pops the glass into the sink and slinjs out of his clothes and into the sheets on his bed, almost elbowing off a potted plant from the window.Nothing but a minor bump in the road… That's all. No, not the road under the wheels of the black Hershma V.a, this road is as smooth as cream in coffee. The bump is on my metaphorical road, the road many call 'life'. After all these years, I'm just now realising that being rich also means being lonely. Deeply lonely. "Looks like there's a jam ahead, Sir." My chauffeur, Godwin, nods down the road. I pull away from my daydream to look down the road, black tarmac slick with surface water reflecting all the neons and lights of the city stood still with a gridlock of cars. Up ahead, blue lights flash behind a crowd of people. "Hmm, I wonder what happened?" I ask and take this opportunity to light a cigarette. I roll the window down slightly, letting a few specks of rain land inside the car, dappling my suit as I smoke. "I'll keep an ear out if you desire, Sir." Godwin figures I care about what is happening down the road. Which, unless it
What on earth are sizes in clothes? I run my fingertips along the leathery seats and nibble my lower lip. Am I supposed to be a size in clothes? Was it a bad thing not to have one?I look out of the window at the rolling landscape. Anything was better than the boat ride just hours beforehand. I am already missing Arianna and Lakista and everyone on Sencuba Bay. My heart aches painfully and my stomach tightens with sickness. This is going to be a long journey, according to the driver, who I cannot remember the name of. The gentle movements and droning sounds of the car lulls me to sleep eventually. When I awaken, the landscape is different. Less sand and cactus and more… rain and concrete.“Have a good sleep?” The man asks lightly and gazes up at the small mirror to look back at me.“It was sufficient. Thank you.” I sit straight and rub my stiff neck and shoulders. Note to self: Falling asleep in cars is a bad idea.“Go
I lead Liz inside and allow my eyes to wander. I know I shouldn't, but her beautiful bronze skin shimmers brightly like diamonds under the raindrops. I can see her breasts beneath the white cotton of her dress, nipples erect with cold."Liz, my darling. It's a pleasure to finally see you. Let's get you out of those clothes before you catch a cold, hmm?" I offer a smile and look to Gabriel who returns my look with raised eyebrows."I'll show you to your temporary room, shall I?" Gabriel looks back to Liz. She nods, partly listening to the conversation but mostly admiring the house. Eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Her face should be under the definition of 'Flabbergasted' in the dictionary."Perfect. Her clothes are in bags in the temporary bedroom. Just while we sort out a better bedroom for her. Help her choose something appropriate for dinner. I'll go tell the cooks our guest has arrived." I nod to Gabriel once again and he stops me as he strides past.
Davon is far more handsome in person. The photos really filtered out his gorgeousness. His eyes – What I previously thought were brown, are not brown at all, but the most unusual green; green and Amber mixed together in a piercing, devouring gaze.Money knows no bounds. This huge, stunning house. The Liberton Co clothes he had brought me ‘in my size’ fit perfectly. And now dinner in this big room with white walls, marble floor and a chandelier. And, hats off to him, he must have paid attention to our conversations online because I am pretty confident I can smell my favourite food cooking.“I don’t know what you feel I deserve but I am honestly very thankful.” I smile up at him and he reaches forward to take my hand in his again. His big hands were warm and neatly taken care of.“You deserve to feel happy, Liz. I can help, if you’d accept it, of course. If not you’re free to stay as long as you wish and leave
I only just managed to close the door before my trousers were off. God damn, she is just… just… fire. I grab my phone from my jacket pocket and throw my jacket to the floor. I dial a number and hold my phone to my ear as I ween myself from my clothes. It rings as I scoop the suit into the washing basket, lock my door and head to the bathroom.“Davon, my man. How did it go?” It’s Stephen.“Stephen. My god, she is something…” I mutter and turn the shower on.“Sounds like she’s got you all hot and bothered.” I can hear him chuckling with amusement.“You have no idea, Stephen. Look, I need a favour.”“Anything for you, boss.”I smile as my free hand finds my stiffening cock. “Get her a toy. Something small and special.”“Ooh, Davon… it’d be my absolute pleasure. I’ll have it to you by morning.&rdquo
I must say, that was the best sleep I had ever had. I settled down just after 10.30pm and woke up and showered before the alarm even went off. The shower was incredible; Like standing in the rain, but the rain being a comforting warmth. And there’s soaps and shampoos I never even heard of. When I showered yesterday, there was only two bottles. One for the hair, one for the body. But in my shower… shampoo, conditioner, body wash, body exfoliation cream, razors, face cleaner, combs and brushes. Why does anyone need so much stuff? But hell, I’m not complaining!I feel so fresh and alive once I’m out and dressed. I take a look through the box of makeup and decide to give it a miss. But I do spray on some of the perfume that was sat on the bedside table. It’s 7.30. So I take my phone, slot it in the pocket of my beautiful high waisted trousers and wander outside. I look left and right, the only landmark was the top of the grand staircase to the
When I said I have work to do, what I really meant was ‘I’m going to go to the gym to try and burn off this energy Lisbeth has pumped into me.’ It’s still technically working, right? But as I sweat through my gym clothes pushing weights, all I can think about is her. Her in her room with her special little toy. That should be me down there between her thighs. See, the only reason I’m not, I have far too much respect for women. They are worth every ounce of respect in my cells and I simply won’t allow myself to indulge my selfish needs without keeping her in mind. I need her to be open. I need her to understand what pleasure feels like by herself first. And, God damnit, I have another hard-on. Have you ever tried working out with a stiff cock? No? Let me tell you, it’s simply unpleasant.While trying my hardest not to knock my boner on the bar of the weights, I put them down to go to the treadmill. Running… hell, even walking wh
When I said I have work to do, what I really meant was ‘I’m going to go to the gym to try and burn off this energy Lisbeth has pumped into me.’ It’s still technically working, right? But as I sweat through my gym clothes pushing weights, all I can think about is her. Her in her room with her special little toy. That should be me down there between her thighs. See, the only reason I’m not, I have far too much respect for women. They are worth every ounce of respect in my cells and I simply won’t allow myself to indulge my selfish needs without keeping her in mind. I need her to be open. I need her to understand what pleasure feels like by herself first. And, God damnit, I have another hard-on. Have you ever tried working out with a stiff cock? No? Let me tell you, it’s simply unpleasant.While trying my hardest not to knock my boner on the bar of the weights, I put them down to go to the treadmill. Running… hell, even walking wh
I must say, that was the best sleep I had ever had. I settled down just after 10.30pm and woke up and showered before the alarm even went off. The shower was incredible; Like standing in the rain, but the rain being a comforting warmth. And there’s soaps and shampoos I never even heard of. When I showered yesterday, there was only two bottles. One for the hair, one for the body. But in my shower… shampoo, conditioner, body wash, body exfoliation cream, razors, face cleaner, combs and brushes. Why does anyone need so much stuff? But hell, I’m not complaining!I feel so fresh and alive once I’m out and dressed. I take a look through the box of makeup and decide to give it a miss. But I do spray on some of the perfume that was sat on the bedside table. It’s 7.30. So I take my phone, slot it in the pocket of my beautiful high waisted trousers and wander outside. I look left and right, the only landmark was the top of the grand staircase to the
I only just managed to close the door before my trousers were off. God damn, she is just… just… fire. I grab my phone from my jacket pocket and throw my jacket to the floor. I dial a number and hold my phone to my ear as I ween myself from my clothes. It rings as I scoop the suit into the washing basket, lock my door and head to the bathroom.“Davon, my man. How did it go?” It’s Stephen.“Stephen. My god, she is something…” I mutter and turn the shower on.“Sounds like she’s got you all hot and bothered.” I can hear him chuckling with amusement.“You have no idea, Stephen. Look, I need a favour.”“Anything for you, boss.”I smile as my free hand finds my stiffening cock. “Get her a toy. Something small and special.”“Ooh, Davon… it’d be my absolute pleasure. I’ll have it to you by morning.&rdquo
Davon is far more handsome in person. The photos really filtered out his gorgeousness. His eyes – What I previously thought were brown, are not brown at all, but the most unusual green; green and Amber mixed together in a piercing, devouring gaze.Money knows no bounds. This huge, stunning house. The Liberton Co clothes he had brought me ‘in my size’ fit perfectly. And now dinner in this big room with white walls, marble floor and a chandelier. And, hats off to him, he must have paid attention to our conversations online because I am pretty confident I can smell my favourite food cooking.“I don’t know what you feel I deserve but I am honestly very thankful.” I smile up at him and he reaches forward to take my hand in his again. His big hands were warm and neatly taken care of.“You deserve to feel happy, Liz. I can help, if you’d accept it, of course. If not you’re free to stay as long as you wish and leave
I lead Liz inside and allow my eyes to wander. I know I shouldn't, but her beautiful bronze skin shimmers brightly like diamonds under the raindrops. I can see her breasts beneath the white cotton of her dress, nipples erect with cold."Liz, my darling. It's a pleasure to finally see you. Let's get you out of those clothes before you catch a cold, hmm?" I offer a smile and look to Gabriel who returns my look with raised eyebrows."I'll show you to your temporary room, shall I?" Gabriel looks back to Liz. She nods, partly listening to the conversation but mostly admiring the house. Eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Her face should be under the definition of 'Flabbergasted' in the dictionary."Perfect. Her clothes are in bags in the temporary bedroom. Just while we sort out a better bedroom for her. Help her choose something appropriate for dinner. I'll go tell the cooks our guest has arrived." I nod to Gabriel once again and he stops me as he strides past.
What on earth are sizes in clothes? I run my fingertips along the leathery seats and nibble my lower lip. Am I supposed to be a size in clothes? Was it a bad thing not to have one?I look out of the window at the rolling landscape. Anything was better than the boat ride just hours beforehand. I am already missing Arianna and Lakista and everyone on Sencuba Bay. My heart aches painfully and my stomach tightens with sickness. This is going to be a long journey, according to the driver, who I cannot remember the name of. The gentle movements and droning sounds of the car lulls me to sleep eventually. When I awaken, the landscape is different. Less sand and cactus and more… rain and concrete.“Have a good sleep?” The man asks lightly and gazes up at the small mirror to look back at me.“It was sufficient. Thank you.” I sit straight and rub my stiff neck and shoulders. Note to self: Falling asleep in cars is a bad idea.“Go
Nothing but a minor bump in the road… That's all. No, not the road under the wheels of the black Hershma V.a, this road is as smooth as cream in coffee. The bump is on my metaphorical road, the road many call 'life'. After all these years, I'm just now realising that being rich also means being lonely. Deeply lonely. "Looks like there's a jam ahead, Sir." My chauffeur, Godwin, nods down the road. I pull away from my daydream to look down the road, black tarmac slick with surface water reflecting all the neons and lights of the city stood still with a gridlock of cars. Up ahead, blue lights flash behind a crowd of people. "Hmm, I wonder what happened?" I ask and take this opportunity to light a cigarette. I roll the window down slightly, letting a few specks of rain land inside the car, dappling my suit as I smoke. "I'll keep an ear out if you desire, Sir." Godwin figures I care about what is happening down the road. Which, unless it
“Wakey Wakey, hands off snakey!” My sister, Arianna calls as she pulls back the curtains to allow the orangey sunrise to spill into the darkness of the room. This was how she wakes me every morning. I would say I liked it, but I like sleeping much more.“One, i don't have a ‘snakey’, you absolute arse, and two, do I have to?” I stretch out. My toes slaying and my spine tingles. Morning stretches are one of the words most under-rated pleasures.“Yes, you do have to. It’s a work day, dumbass,” Arianna chuckles as I sit up on my bunk, the top bunk, obviously, and gain just enough energy to let out a great morning fart. Hey, ladies fart too! They just smell like roses, stop your judging.Arianne shrieks with amusement. I watch with a cheesy grin. “Lizzie, you may as well be a bloke with an arse like that.”“You do it too, don’t act like you&rsqu