5~Hannah

I opened my eyes and saw that Zach had left. His side of the bed had gone cold. I sighed, though I was in his bedroom, I still felt abandoned. I felt like a one night stand.

A knock on the door had me sitting up. It was Malia.

"Good morning madam." She came in, holding a tray filled with delicacies.

"Morning Malia." I yawned.

"Seems like you had a busy night." She grinned.

I held my blanket closer, almost sinking into the bed due to embarrassment. I didn't want to imagine how messy my hair must have looked.

"No need to be shy now. This is good."

Malia reminded me of my mother a lot. If my mom was still in America she would most probably do the same thing Malia did. I was glad she wasn't though. It would hurt her to know that my marriage had gone from two strangers living together to a friends with benefits situation with no strings attached.

"He said to bring breakfast for you. He believes you'll be too exhausted to come down to join him."

"He's home?"

"Surprisingly so." She smiled.

I looked around before drawing close to whisper to her, "Do you think he hit his head anywhere?"

"I was wondering the same thing." She said with a chortle. "Anyways, you should have your meal." She soon left me to my thoughts.

I felt empty, the food felt tasteless. I hated what I was becoming. I didn't want to overthink it but I felt I was slowly losing myself because I wanted to be a wife.

~~~

The next few months were no different with Zachary. The friends with benefits situation had escalated. We hardly spoke unless we had to get down and inasmuch as I enjoyed how he explored my body, I hated how there was nothing more to us than a great time in bed. His affection disappeared just as the morning came. It hurt so bad because I had developed really strong feelings for him. But he obviously did not feel the same way. I was simply his toy who could fulfill all his fantasies, sadly.

It wasn't until another workday when my regular nausea had taken a whole other turn that I realized that my crazy ridiculous plan had eventually worked.

Marv had about three test kits in her bag that day because she had been suspicious and I was too reluctant to head to the hospital because I did not want to be disappointed.

I walked into the bathroom and did the needful, anxiously awaiting the results. Those were the longest ten minutes of my life.

I poked my head out of the bathroom and saw that Marv was pacing. She eventually faced me.

"Well?" Her eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"I think you're going to be a godmother." I showed her one of the three strips that showed positive.

"Oh my gosh!" She screamed before shutting her mouth because we were still in a work environment.

She hugged me tight, making me jump all over the place. I guess she was more excited than I was.

"Why aren't you happy?" She peered into my face when we had pulled apart from the hug.

"I don't know how to feel about this. I'm just overwhelmed by the shock and nausea, I guess." I covered it up with a casual shrug and smile.

"You're worried he won't want the baby?"

"No. I'm wondering if I actually want to go through with this." I said.

"What?"

"Nevermind Marv, let's get back to work."

"We have to go to the hospital. The earlier we start taking care of you, the better."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't be so dramatic, Marv."

She wasn't paying any attention to me when she practically pulled me with her.

Turned out I was about four weeks gone and was seemingly in good health as well. I got the vitamins I needed and registered for antenatal care before going back home to sulk about my fate.

~~~

It had been a few days, I hadn't seen Zachary. I wasn't even ready to see him. From the text he dropped, he was going to be out of town for a few days. This gave me enough time to think thoroughly about my next move.

As I glanced down at my ring finger adorned with the beautiful diamond ring - The same one his mother had picked because he didn't give a fuck about our union- , I looked back at all those months of anguish and loneliness which had simply turned around because of an alcohol induced lust. There wasn't much of a difference though. I was still lonely, I just had his company whenever he was horny.

I felt like a plaything and I didn't want it to continue. I couldn't stay in a loveless union, seeking the validation of a man who most probably had his heart set on someone else.

I still remembered our first night together. He said 'Carrie'. That name stayed on mind for weeks and it still bothered me months after. I never brought it up again for fear of ruining the moment. But now, I was fed up. Now that I was with child, I had gotten my epiphany. I felt unborn child deserved better. Then again, I seemed crazy cause this was what I wanted - to tie him down with a baby. Why was I changing my mind all of a sudden? Could I blame it on the hormones or the fear of the responsibility that comes with motherhood? Could I even do it on my own?

I had come to a decision but now I needed to think of the best way out of this. But before my thoughts could fully settle down, my phone's ringtone filled the silent air.

I picked it up and slid the answer button.

The face of the most beautiful woman I had ever met popped up on my screen. She was grinning so widely, it was infectious.

"Mama." I said.

"Oh Poof, you're glowing." She squeaked her whole sentence out while I imagined her having hearts for eyes with her awed expression.

"Why do you still call me Poof? I'm way older now, Mama." This was the most embarassing nickname anyone could have no matter how cute.

"It suits your innocent doe eyes and cute little nose. It doesn't matter how old you are, you'll always be my Poof."

"Awww." I cooed. "How are you Mama?"

"I'm good. How's Zach?"

"He's alright." I yawned.

"You look tired honey."

"I am tired." Physically and otherwise.

"Work?" She asked.

"Yeah, work." I forced a grin. "How's Zara?"

"She just left for work too."

"Hmm," I sighed. "I need to catch some sleep now. We'll talk some other time Mama. Love you."

She seemed worried about my sudden change in attitude but decided to not push it further because of course, I'm perfect. Nothing's ever wrong with me.

After hanging up, I sat still for a moment. I was worried about how she would take it when she heard the news but for once I wanted to be selfish. It wasn't just about Hannah anymore, I had a baby to think about. It was the right thing to do. I just had to make that call and the beginning of the end of this chapter of my life would be closer than ever.

"Fuck it!" I exclaimed in a fit of unreserved rage and dialed the number.

"James? I need to see you."