Chapter 1

“I'm happy,” I smiled to the people around me.

In fact, I‘m not! That was all a lie. Lahat ng mga ngiti at tawa na ibinibigay ko sa kanila ay hindi totoo. Kung tutuusin, I can be an actor for faking all of this. 

“How to be you po, Kael?!” one of my ‘fans’ asked me.

“Anakan mo ako, Kael!” I almost choked when someone shouted.

It's kinda cliché, pero just like to the leading man to some fictional stories na: anak mayaman, matalino, magaling sa kung anong sports, and can play any musical instruments; I have that traits and hobbies, too.

I'm happy to have this, but it doesn't mean that I wanted the fame and attention. Kapapasok ko lang sa school, may mga maraming nag pi-picture at nagtitilian na. Nung first year highschool ako, I kinda felt so good dahil people admired me. 

But then, I realized. People actually don't know who I really am, and now I know that they are just admiring me for having similar traits of a fictional character. They are imagining that I am those characters, and not actually myself, not Kael Rodriguez.

Gusto kong magsabi sa mga kaibigan ko sa nararamdaman ko, pero mas nanaig ang takot ko. Baka kasi tulad lang din sila ng ibang tao, thinking that a person like me should not think a problem like those.

“Dude, kailan ka na maghahanap ng girlfriend? Ga-graduate ka na lang na single, ” Josh, my friend, laughed me. I just put my airpods in my ear, and left them.

I'm not in the mood to catch his jokes.

“Anyare doon?”

“You're too much, Josh.” sambit ni Mark.

Girlfriend? No, thanks.

After our afternoon classes, agad na akong umuwi. ‘Di na ako nakapag paalam sa coach ko sa volleyball, I also planned na maybe I should quit. What's the use of playing, kung pinapasali nila ako just for the school’s fame?

And also, for our parent’s name recognition as a ‘good doctor’.

Pssh. Good doctor, huh?

“Oh, you're early?” agad na bumungad sa akin ang boses ni ate Chloe, na ngayon ay nasa lamesa, nagkakape.

I kissed her cheeks and grabbed some cookies from the jar.

“So, totoo nga ang sinasabi ng mga schoolmates mo?”

“That, I will quit in playing?” I innocently and straightly asked her. Nakatingin siya sa akin ng seryoso at pansin ang disappointment sa mga mata niya.

“Ate, alam mo namang I wanted to stop that attention and the fame, at alam mo rin na they are just using me.”

She sighed and pursed her lips.

“ Can you just do this for mom and dad? ”

“Na naman? ”

“Kael, I love how you realized things, pero you‘re still a kid. Dapat ‘di ka pa nagde-desisyon ng walang guidance, mayroon ka namang magandang ate! Why not call me if you need help?”

I nearly choked when she complimented herself. 

Uminom kaagad ako ng tubig and chuckles. She raised her brow, like wondering why I am acting like this.

“Ate, you don't need to tell me na you're beautiful. Palagi mo na ‘yan sinasabi sa akin. At isa pa, I am not a kid anymore! I'm eighteen, and I can decide on my own. ”

“Nagbago ka na talaga, Kael. Hindi ka na nakikinig sa ate mo, 'no? Magtatampo na talaga ako sa'yo.” She pouted and looked away from me. I jokingly frowned my brow and walked towards her.

I immediately hugged her, at dahil sa hard-to-get siya. Ang hirap niyang suyuin. Kaya ‘to walang nagtatagal na boyfriend, eh.

“Sorry na, ate. Susunod na po.” I kissed her hair and she held my arms, caressing it.

“By the way, malapit ka nang mag-graduate, right? Ano pala plano mo for your future? ” I stopped when she asked me about that future thing again.

"L“ Maybe, aalis na ‘ko dito sa bahay.” Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko at pinigilan ang pagtawa ng agad akong nilingon ni ate na may masamang tingin.

“Walang aalis! ”

“Joke lang,”

It took us an hour talking and making her pissed off because of me. Nag-dinner na rin kami after, at ‘di nakauwi sila mama at papa, dahil sa may mga ginagawa pa sila sa hospital. 

Sanay naman din kami sa ganito, kaya ‘di na rin kami nagtataka pa.

After we ate, nagbabad muna ako sa tub and decided to watch a horror film. Medyo pinagdududahan ko na nga ang sarili ko na pagiging psychopath, nakakatulog kasi ako ng mahimbing after watching those kinds of movies. 

Kinabukasan, gano‘n pa rin ang nangyayari. Tough tests and reportings. Pero, after a week mas naging focus kami sa pag-compile ng mga lackings and payments namin. Konti lang naman ang kulang sa akin kaya madali akong natapos , and decided na gumala lang kung saan-saan.

Madali lang namang dumaan ang araw hanggang sa namalayan ko nalang na, it’s the day of our graduation.

“Dali! Let's take a picture together!” Alexa grabbed my hand to get closer to them, and smiled at the camera in her hand.

After taking pictures, ‘di pa ako nakakauwi dahil sa ang daming nagbibigay sa akin ng mga kung ano-anong pagkain at toy stuff. Hindi ko na nga kayang dalhin ito sa kamay ko, kaya I gave Josh and Mark some of the chocolates. 

“Hayss, kailan kaya ako makakatanggap ng ganito,”

Mark laughed at Josh who's now chewing chocolates.

“ Just wait for your timing, dude.”

“If you want, I can give this all to you.” Siniko ko siya ng mahina habang tinatanggal ang necktie ko. 

“Sus, wag na! Baka bigla akong kulamin ng mga baliw mong fangirls!” Ngumuso siya pero pasimple namang kinukuha ang mga chocolates sa lamesa.

We all laughed, until Alex came, then Josh automatically frowned. Kagagaling niya lang sa bahay nila, maybe kinausap pa ang parents niya and convincing them to be with us today. Sobrang strict ang parents dahil only daughter, eh.

We decided to drink sa isang sikat na bar dito sa amin. Kahit hindi pa bukas ay pumunta na kaagad kami ng maaga para di kami mahirapang makapasok mamaya kapag marami nang dadating. At isa pa, para hindi rin kami maagawan sa VIP room.

“Alex, himala dahil pinayagan ka?” pabirong tanong ni Mark, still eating.

Inikot ni Alex ang mata niya at pagalit na umupo sa couch.

“Yah! They let me, but must be with my–ugghh!”

“Step-brother!” she crossed her arms and screamed.

A second later, a man in a six footer, wearing a navy colored t-shirt, and also wearing thin black glasses, went inside.

Our eyes met in a second, feeling the uneasiness, I first looked away.

“Hey, everyone? I'm Isaac, Alexis' older brother.” He smiled at us and went towards us to shake our hands.

"Step-brother, duh?" ani Alex.

Nang makalapit siya sa akin ay ngumiti lang ako imbes na makipag shake hands sa kanya. Kita ko ang pagtataka sa mukha niya, yet still seated beside me.

Habang nag-uusap sina Josh and Mark about their plans for the future, hindi ko maiwasan na marinig ang malakas na dagundong sa dibdib ko.

“I'm so stupid for not knowing you are my sister's friend.” I suddenly went stunned when I felt his breath in my back.

I gulped twice and moved away from him. He is now leaning on the couch, hands at the back of his head and sensing his stares at me.

Good thing, the flashes from disco lights distracted us from being seen. 

“Ikaw, Kael? Anong plans mo?”

I gave my attention to them, while taking a sip to my drink.

“Siguro, I'll follow my parent's path? ”

“Gusto mo ba talaga ang pagdo-doctor, ha?” Josh asked.

It took a minute for me to answer him. It making me felt sad for myself, thinking that they can do whatever they wanted to do in their life. Pero heto ako, susunod na naman sa kung ano ang gusto nila papa. Walang freedom, nanatiling nakakulong...

“I don't know,” I shrugged and leaned on the couch. They chooses to change the topic, and I felt glad for that 

Unti-unti nang lumalakas ang tugtog sa loob ng bar at mas dumarami na ang mga tao. 

“Uy, sayaw na tayo doon!” Josh pointed at the dancefloor. Without words, Josh grabbed Alex's hand, at iniwan kaming tatlo dito. Hindi naman ito pinigilan ni Isaac and just follow her sister through his own eyeballs.

“What the–”

“Stop grabbing my hand, asshole!”

Umiinom pa kaming tatlo dito at ‘di mapigilang matawa sa dalawa.

“Dude, sunod na tayo sa kanila. ”

I shook my head and took a sip of my drink again.

“Mamaya na lang kapag tinamaan na,” I chuckles, yet I know I already can feel the twirling world in my eyes.

“You sure? You will miss the fun.” He laughed and left when I gave him a thumbs-up, assuring him it's okay.

Nang umalis na si Mark, bigla kong naalala na I am with this guy.

I slowly turned my head at him, and shockingly caught him staring at me.

“Have you already forgotten your first love, love?” He grabbed my hand and felt him caressing it.

Tinanggal ko sa kamay niya ang kamay ko kaagad, at napahilamos sa mukha ko.

“You're drunk,”

“Nah, I don't think so. I can even kiss you now, love.”

“ Why are you acting like you didnt destroy my life before, huh? ” I smirked, not taking a single glance at him.

Mahina siyang tumikhim at kita ang pagngisi niya sa gilid ng mata ko.

“I thought doing that is the best thing to do for us.”

“Revealing our relationship to dad? Kahit alam mo naman ang magiging reaction niya. ” Nilagok ko kaagad ang nakalahati ng alak sa baso ko.

“ And, I also thought at that time, you will fight for our relationship.”

I faked a laugh and looked at him.

“ Seriously? We are still a kid before, at malay ko ba na dapat pala akong lumaban noon? ”

“ And one thing, you knew at first that I don't know how to fight–especially to my feelings.” I continued. He repeatedly nod and shot himself a drink 

We've been quiet for a minute, until I was shocked when I suddenly heard a soft sob despite the loud sound from the DJ’s.

I glanced at him who’s now drinking the glass of beer, tears flowing in his eyes while staring at his hand.

Staring at the silver ring placed at his ring finger...

It's the ring which I gave him before.

“Yeah...we were still young before…”

“But now? Let me ask you, can you now fight for our l-love?” he stared at me and saw his glassy eyes.

Seeing him like this makes me hurt, and I badly wanted to hug him.

“Kael? Would you fight for our relationship?” he held my hands and put it in his cheek, feeling his warm skin.

Huminga ako ng malalim at binawi kaagad ang kamay ko sa kanya ng mapansin ang pagbalik na ng tatlo.

Akay-akay nina Mark at Josh si Alex na natutulog na at pabagsak na ang katawan.

“Ang bigat naman ng babaeng 'to!” reklamo ni Josh na namumula na ang mukha.

“Parang hindi kaibigan oh!” 

“Sus, kung ‘di lang ako nililibre nito, kanina ko pa hinayaang nakahiga ‘toh dun sa sahig.” patuloy ni Josh na nakaupo na sa couch. Nakahiga si Alex sa couch, lumapit si Isaac sa kapatid nito at may sinabi kay Mark na hindi ko na narinig.

“Ako nalang ang maghahatid sa inyo.” I insisted when we went out the bar.

Medyo tahimik na ang kalsada at napayakap ako sa sarili ko nang maramdaman ang lamig na pumapasok sa katawan ko. I hurriedly went to my car, and opened the backdoor to make them go inside.

“Ang baho ng hininga ng conyong babaeng to!” Malakas na sumigaw si Josh sa likuran. Tinignan ko sila sa rear-view mirror at hindi maiwasang matawa sa porma nila.

Nakanganga si Alex na nakaharap kay Josh. Mark and Isaac are now sleeping peacefully at the backseat. Medyo tinatamaan naman ako, pero kumapara sa kanilang apat, ako ang mas matino kaya wala akong ibang choice but to drive them home.

To be honest, for the first time that I drove a car, medyo natatakot ako. I always think that anytime I can cause an accident or I will crash into something. But with the help of my sister and my driver coach, I tried to overcome it.

“K-kael…”

I stopped wondering when I heard Isaac calling my name. It gives me shivers and I can't help feeling nervous, baka kasi marinig ng tatlo.

“I will wait for you...again.”