I felt weird.
Parang pakiramdam na nakatulog ka ng sobrang tagal pero pagkagising mo, masakit ang katawan mo at nakakapagod? Ganyan ang nararamdaman ko kanina. I wanted to recall everything, but only that old streetlight are always in mind.
Pagkagising ko, nakarating na kami at nasa tabi ko lang si Mark na kanina pa tanong ng tanong sa akin kung kumusta na ba ang lagay ko.
“Gusto mong pumunta tayong hospital? Pwede akong mag-drive papunta dun.”
I slowly let my lousy body sitted and leaned on the chair. I drank the water that Mark gave me.
“ ‘Wag na, I'm now okay. I just can't explain why I felt like this... ” I told him what I felt earlier and he was just listening to me.
“It started when I saw that–weird old streetlight”
“Streetlight?”
I glanced at him, now wondering and confused. I awkwardly laughed, and told him to not worry about it.
He may not be too convinced about what I said, but I acted like it doesn't bother me anymore. We walked towards the cottage where our lunch was placed. Some are seafood, and I don't know how we can finish this.
“Kael! Alam mo ba kung sino ang sumampal sa‘yo, kanina?” Josh asked me, while food is full in his mouth.
”Josh, stop talking while food is in your mouth!”
“Sino?” I replied full of amusement.
Josh grinned, while his eyes were on Alex who's now acting like she doesn't hear us.
When she saw Josh looking at her, she raised her brow and shouted at him, “What?!”
“You are now having a crush on me, noh? C'mon! I can only treat you as my friends, I'm sorry!”
Ngumiwi si Josh sabay aksyon na tila nasusuka, ” Feeling talaga nito! Akala mo hindi sinampal si Kael kanina, ah! ”
Alex's eyes widened, and looked at me with an apologizing eyes.
” H-hey, I didn't mean to do that, noh! I saw on the internet that you should slap the person who's unconscious... ”
I smiled at Alex when she half-pouted, and gave me a peace sign.
“ It's okay, Alex. Okay na rin naman ako eh.”
“ Lesson learned! Huwag masyado maniwala kung anong sabi ng nasa internet.”
“Yah, true ka Mark! But, if they will choose kung what should I believe, internet ba or si Josh. I rather believe in the internet!”
After we ate, pumunta muna ako sa lodge namin para makapag-ayos ng mga gamit. Sinamahan naman ako ni Mark to organize our things, while Josh and Alex are now splashing their body at the sea.
“Alam mo, minsan napapaisip ako na baka may something na ‘yang dalawa.”
I agree with him. Kahit minsan nag-aaway ang dalawa, I can see through their eyes that they like each other, but are also prideful. They can‘t even admit they really like each other.
“Hayaan mo na. Kung saan sila masaya, edi suporta nalang tayo.” I replied while putting my clothes at the cabinet.
”Eh ikaw, Kael? Have you already found happiness?” he asked, which made me stare at him.
“ I don't know. ” he nodded and sat at his bed.
“Mahirap talagang hanapin ang happiness natin, pero kay dali tayong bigyan ng bagay na magpapalungkot sa‘tin. ” he continued.
I goggled at him, and let out a burst when he suddenly got serious.
”Hey, Mark? Are you serious? I can't believe you can actually talk like that, huh! ” his cheeks turned red and throw his pillow at me.
“ ‘Nubayan, sa labas muna ako. Pinapahiya mo lang ako dito,” he rolled his eyes and I put my hand to my mouth, preventing myself to laugh at him.
Nang makalabas na siya ay pabagsak kong inihiga ang katawan ko sa kama. Hindi naman nagtagal ay biglang pumasok sa isipan ko ang nangyari sa akin kanina.
It really feels so weird, at parang ang nararamdaman ko kanina ay hindi na bago sa‘kin. It was like I felt it before.
To avoid thinking about it, lumabas na ako sa kwarto and join them playing at the seashore. Wala namang masyadong tao dahil pinasara muna ng parents ni Alex ang resort for us to enjoy all alone.
“HAHAHAHA! Bobo mo kasing lumangoy!” Josh laughed at Alex when she suddenly drowned. Malakas kasi ang current ng dagat, nadala yata siya at di na nakaabot sa taas ng tubig. Hindi naman namin napansin, at akala namin she's only joking.
“Josh! Muntikan na ngang malunod kaibigan natin, ganyan ka pa!” sita ni Mark kay Josh.
I called one of the staff to help us. I took a glance at Josh who's now staring at Alex, who is now pale and quiet.
A second passed, I hid a smile when Josh went closer to Alex, hugging her with a towel covering Alex's. Pinapaalis pa siya ni Alex, pero mas hinigpitan niya pa ang yakap niya that made her stop complaining.
Hindi nagtagal ay pinapunta muna sila sa clinic to check Alex. Naiwan naman ulit kami ni Mark, and this gave me a chance to ask him about that old streetlight earlier.
Baka kasi may alam siya about it.
“Mark?”
“Hmm?”
“May alam ka ba tungkol dun sa streetlight?” I asked him while eating a slice of a watermelon.
“Huh? Saang streetlight?”
“The old one na nadaanan natin kanina.”
Umawang ang bibig ni Mark and hug his knees when the wind blows.
“ Ohhh, I remember my mom told me a story about that place. It's kinda sad,”
My brows furrowed and it gave me so much hope, hearing what exactly happened to that place.
“Can you tell me? I'm just curious, especially I felt weird when I saw that thing earlier, right? ”
“Yahh, ”
“ Well, naalala ko na ikinuwento ni mama sa akin dati na yang lugar na yan or to be specific, iyang streetlight... May nadisgrasya na talaga diyan. Hindi ako sigurado kung sampung taon na ba ang nakakaraan o higit pa eh, basta sabi ay magkasintahan ang nadisgrasya doon. Buntis pa nga ang babae at mabuti nalang nadala pa sa hospital, kaya nasurvive yung bata. ".
“B-buntis ang babae? Saan ang anak niya ngayon? ” Nangunot ang noo ni Mark nang makita ang kamay kong nanginginig habang ang hawak ang basong tubig.
“H-hindi ko alam eh…”
“Kael, okay ka lang ba talaga?” Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko sabay paglagay ng kamay niya sa noo ko.
“ I also don't k-know…”
I covered my mouth when I felt nauseous and dizzy. In a second, a loud and straight sound suddenly covers my ears. It was like what I heard from before! And again, a strange energy was like pulling me away. I felt my body was so heavy and thinking I kist stand, makes me feel like dying.
I can't hear any human voices besides these weird sounds in my ear. Yet, I can feel Mark's warm palm in my skin.
Wala pang isang minuto ay tila lumulutang ang katawan ko, pero may matigas at mainit na bisig sa likod ko.
A pain in my heart and a strange figure suddenly flashed into my mind.
She's a she.
The woman is staring at me with tears flowing in her eyes. Her eyes speak for anger and sorrow. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't open my mouth. I force my hand to reach her, not until I can touch her face. A loud bang of a crashing vehicle replaced the straight line like sound from earlier.
“Kael...please be at peace.”
She whispered that made me wake up in reality.
“Is he gonna be okay, Doc?”“Actually, he's okay though. I don't see any symptoms of him that make us think he's not okay. Maybe, he should drink more water and rest. It might be a sign of stress, ”“Thank you, Doc. ”I smiled at the doctor after talking to Mark, who's still now wearing his beach shorts.“Okay ka na ba?” Tanong niya sabay upo sa paanan ng kama.Tumango ako at dahan-dahan na umupo. Tinulungan niya naman ako at binigyan ng tubig.“Dude! Seryoso ito, ah! Ilang beses ka nang nahimatay nang ’di namin alam ang dahilan. Ang weird,” he looked at me with full of concern and I just tapped his shoulder, assuring him I'm okay.“Nothing serious, dude. Just like what the doctor told us, maybe I just need some rest.&rd
When we arrived at the resort, agad naming naabutan sina Alex at Josh sa isang maliit na cottage. Maraming foods na nakalatag sa isang lamesa, at nilagay lahat ng mga pagkain sa dahon ng saging. Kumbaga, parang boodle fight lang. "Hello! Pretty boy! You okay na ba?" she asked while eating a slice of a watermelon. On her side, there is Josh, busy eating using his hands. "I'm okay na." I smiled at her, and followed Mark so we could wash our hands and eat. "Umayos ka nga sa pagkain, Josh." pagsaway ni Mark nito nang makitang sobrang bilis nitong kumain. "Nabulunan na yan kanina eh. But he still continues eating too fast, " Alex growled. I'm just looking at them, while I'm eating. Hindi naman ako masyado nagsalita, at shmasabay balang ako sa pagtawa nila. Sobrang pagod na kasi ako, and I wanted to take a rest. After we ate, nagpa
"Kael, gusto mo bang ihatid kita pabalik sa resort? Sobrang basa mo na 'oh." I stopped when he even held my arms, and checked my shorts."No, it's okay." I smiled at him in a simper way."Actually, gusto ko nga sanang maligo ngayon sa dagat," Nilagay ko ang magkabilang kamay ko sa bewang ko at humarap sa dagat.Kita ko sa gilid ng mata ko ang pag kunot ng noo niya, "Huh? Sobrang lamig kaya saka sabi-sabi nila may mga pating daw na dumadami rito kapag gabi. " I turned my gaze at him, and caught him looking at me."Bawal ba talaga?" sumimangot ako. Napakagat naman ako sa labi ko nang ramdam ko ang malamig na hangin na pumapasok sa loob ng shorts ko."Bawal talaga dito, Kael. Saka siguro kung sa resort ka maliligo, baka pwede. May mga lifeguards kasi na nakabangay do'n. " he smiled at me, and I just nodded at him.I don't have the choic
Kinabukasan, I was awakened by the aroma of a brewed coffee, and the waking sound of the rooster that I saw at the back of Rico's house, also to the loud bark of a dog. Kita ko siyang nagka-kape sa lamesa at may pandesal na nakalapag. Napatingi naman ako sa labas smelling something burning. "Goodmorning, Kael." he smiled while giving me a cup of hot caramel coffee. I stared at his tan face, and hid a smile remembering what I did last night... It's almost eleven in the evening, I am replying to all of Mark's texts. I can't sleep. Not because I'm not comfortable or bothered by something. I just can't help myself but to stick my eyes at Rico's sleeping with his mouth open. Kanina pa akong parang baliw na nakangiti, at kahit na ramdam ko ang mga lamok na pinagsisipsip ang dugo ko hindi ko na 'yon alin
After two days, Rico and I did not meet again. I even tried to go where we met that night, but he wasn't there. I wanted to return his clothes, and all of my texts to him–he's not responding.Gusto ko sanang pumunta sa bahay niya pero parang weird naman kung pupunta ako doon na walang sadya.We are now wearing our suits and ties, with Alex who's wearing her yellow balloon dress. Isa-isa kaming pinicturan ng photographer with different angles.Alex decided to have our friendship photoshoot. Next week naman ang mga relatives niya and families sa bahay lang yata nila. Nagtataka nga ako kung paano na lang ang negosyo nila dito sa resort. We are staying here for a week, and the resort is close."Pretty boy!!! So pretty!" tumili si Alex sabay palakpak sa kain while posing looking at the camera. The photographer told me to smile a little bit and pu
I don't know what good things I did to the world, why all the pain I felt suddenly faded, and replaced it into sheer bliss. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang ginawa ko kay Rico why he suddenly texted me last night. Matutulog na nga sana ako, but I got a notification on my phone.Not that I hate to admit it, but I think I really feel hard for him.I know I'm taking a serious risk of the things I am doing, especially liking Rico. But, he's so different from others. There was something on him I wanted to fight for.He's also making me feel too many emotions, and can't explain what it really is. At isa pa, parang nagiging ibang tao ako kapag kasama ko si Rico. Nagiging soft ako, which I am not in reality? I mean with others, I'm not that soft."Hey, hey, hey, pretty boy!" Alex blocked my way. She's wearing a see-through beach suit with her pricey sunglasses.
"Kael, nakaready na ba lahat ng gamit mo? Sa'yo Josh?""Yes, sir! Nakaready na po!" Josh jokingly salutes to Mark while facing his phone."Sa'yo Kael?" tanong ulit ni Mark. I just replied to him with a slight nod, and continued looking for a shirt to wear later."Ano ba hinahanap mo, Kael?" Lumapit si Mark sa'kin, at kinuha ang damit na nilabas ko." Obviously, a t-shirt." I never took a single glance at him, and focused on what I am doing."Okay naman 'yang damit mo, eh."I shook my head, " Ito na lang siguro. "I looked at the navy t-shirt and pairs it with a beach short. Kahit paulit-ulit na tinatanong ako ni Mark kung bakit parang ang busy ko. I just ignored him and talked to him, until I'm done."Saan ba?" he asked again.I raised my eyes on him, and sighed. I'm no
Nang makauwi kami, agad kong ginawa ay tumawag kay Rico. Ilang beses akong tumawag at nagtext sa kanya, but he's not responding. Kaya, I decided to call him the next day–assuming he may be so busy sa work niya."Kael, ready na ang food sa baba. Sabay na tayong kumain." ate knocked at the door, and slowly opened it."Okay, ate. Susunod lang ako.""Kael, stpp using your phone muna. Kain na tayo," Umupo siya sa gilid ko at kunwaring sumilip sa phone ko."Mauna ka na lang, ate."I saw the side of my eyes how she pouted and looked at me-dejected."Hindi mo na yata ako mahal, Kael." unti-unti kong inangat ang paningin ko, at umupo ng maayos." Ito naman si ate nagtatampo agad." I chuckled and rest my head on her side."Ano ba naman kasi ang pinag-aabalahan mo? You're so focused
After that night, hindi ko na naman nakita si Rico. I realized that night that Rico regret all of the things he did to me. Ang masakit lang, kahit anong sabihin kong ayaw ko na sa kanta, he kepts on wandering inside my head and it makes me gone crazy."Ate, I'll be gone for maybe two weeks? Hindi ko alam. Basta babalik lang ako kapag nahanap ko na ang hinahanap ko. "Malamig na tinitigan ako ni ate sa mata na ngayon ay nakasandal sa may pintuan, pinagmamasdan akong nagliligpit ng mga gamit ko.It's already one in the afternoon, and even though we have a class today, I ditched. It because of this curiousity of mine about Aries and Marc who had an accident at the streetlight before. I need to trace some connections, and find the answers of all my questions. Hindi na kasi ako makakatulog sa kakaisip kung ano nga ang totoong nangyari noon, at anong kinalaman ko sa kanila.
After that night, hindi ko na naman nakita si Rico. I realized that night that Rico regret all of the things he did to me. Ang masakit lang, kahit anong sabihin kong ayaw ko na sa kanta, he kepts on wandering inside my head and it makes me gone crazy."Ate, I'll be gone for maybe two weeks? Hindi ko alam. Basta babalik lang ako kapag nahanap ko na ang hinahanap ko. "Malamig na tinitigan ako ni ate sa mata na ngayon ay nakasandal sa may pintuan, pinagmamasdan akong nagliligpit ng mga gamit ko.It's already one in the afternoon, and even though we have a class today, I ditched. It because of this curiousity of mine about Aries and Marc who had an accident at the streetlight before. I need to trace some connections, and find the answers of all my questions. Hindi na kasi ako makakatulog sa kakaisip kung ano nga ang totoong nangyari noon, at anong kinalaman ko sa kanila.
This smile of Rico scares me. ‘Yong tila nagiging blanko ang isipan ko at hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Totoong kinakabahan ako sa mga nalalaman ni Rico na maaring gusto ko ring malaman.I know it sound so weird, pero sobrang kating-kati na akong malaman ang lahat ng ito. Mahirap man paniwalaan, but I don't have any choice.I need to know everything. Kung kailangan kong tiisin ang sakit tuwing nakikita ko si Rico dahil lang sa kuryosidad ko, kakayanin ko.We decided to talk sa may park malayo-layo sa streetlight. Kakaunti na lang ang mga rito, at nakailang hikab na rin ako habang nakasakay sa swing."Ano ba talaga ang reason why this is happening, Rico?" I raised my eyes to the night sky, and hugged myself feeling the cold breeze, even though I already wore a jacket."Nilalamig ka? Gusto mo suotin mo jacket ko?" I took a glance on him, and on
World seems so cruel when the time that I wanted to get away from them, the time that they will make themselves close.Nang makita nila akong nakatingin sa direksyon nila, agad akong tinawag ng lalaking kasama ni Rico na Lance nga ang pangalan.Saglit lang kami nakapag-usap dahil sa tinawag na kaming lahat to eat dinner with them. Nasa isang rectangular table kami, at isa-isa kaming nilagayan ng mga sine sa sarili naming mga baso, then the dinner with some topic they talk about na tahimik lang akong nakikinig.Kaharap ko sa upuan si Lance, at katabi niya si Rico na diretso lang ang tingin sa pagkain habang tinatanong siya. And this guy beside him always gazing at him like he's comforting Rico.That's supposed to be me.Before.Pagkatapos naming kumain, agad na akong naglakad palayo sa kanila at nakipag-usap na lang sa mga kakilala
"Huwag mo akomg idamay sa kahibangan mo, Rico. The reason why I always faint it's because I'm just tired, okay?"I turned my back on him, and went back to my room. Heavy lump inside my throat, and felt how my blood boils on its limit when I went inside my room. Agad kong sinara at nilock ang pintuan, at doon ko ramdam ang panghihina ng tuhod ko, dahilan ng pagkakatumba ko sa sahig."Why does this turned out like this!!!" paulit-ulit kong hinahampas ang noo ko habang walang tigil na tumutulo ang luha ko.I pursed my lips when I hardly breathe from tearing, and saw my phone kept on ringing while Rico's name is on the screen. Kinuha ko ito bago pinahid ang mga luha ko. I ended the call of him, and thought of blocking his number. Tinitigan ko pa ito ng matagal habang ramdam ang pagsikip ulit ng dibdib ko.Instead of answering his calls, I looked for Alexa's number...&n
Why do people need to lie?Well for me, I used to lie to someone, so it can cover up the pain it will cause. And sometimes, I need to lie to protect myself and the others.But, if I ask Rico why he lied to me...Ano kaya ang dahilan kung bakit kailangan niyang magsinungaling sa akin.Sobrang occupied ng utak ko sa mga tanong and this madness I felt to him.While this gold family is sitting in front of us, Rico is now sitting near us. I can even see the blank expression on his face.I'm not sure kung alam na niya bang papa niya si Mister Agoncillo, or just lied to me na Tito niya lang siya.Ewan. Parang ang hirap nang mapagkakatiwalaan ang lalaking ‘to. Kababago ko pa nga lang na malamang may iba siya, nadagdagan na naman ang sabi na pagiging anak niya ni Mister Agoncillo.Hindi
"Doc, wala ba talagang sakit ang kapatid ko? Palagi na lang siyang nahihimatay. I'm super worried sa health niya. "I am sitting to the hospital bed, while listening to ate’s concern. Nakaupo lang din si Rico sa tabi ng kama, at hinawakan ang kamay ko."Miss Rodriguez, walang problema sa kapatid mo. Based on the results we took, walang makitang mali sa kapatid mo. He's healthy and no need to worry. "I nodded to the doctor, but laughed inside my head seeing how ate rolled her eyes hearing what the doctor told us."Kung mauulit pa ’to. Mapipilitan kaming mapapatingin sa albularyo. " I heard she whispered before the doctor went out the room.Sumandal ako sa unan na nasa ulohan ko, at napatingin sa kisame.Hindi pa rin nawawala sa isipan ko ang babaeng nakita ko. It's so creepy, and it gives me too much nightma
I've been thinking how naughty I am wanting me and Rico to do it. I regret doing it.Ang sakit kasi, eh.But, everything replaces the pain into pleasure and love realizing that I did it with Rico.Ilang araw kong hindi pinapansin si Rico dahil hindi nawawala sa isipan ko ang mga sinasabi ko noong isang araw. Hindi ko ma proseso sa utak ko na nangyari iyon. And I am not dreaming. Nakakahiya lang dahil parang uhaw na uhaw talaga ako.Nasa garden ako at inaabala ang sarili na magtanim ng mga kung ano-ano. Wala naman kaming klase ngayon dahil holiday, at imbes na mag-aral ako, mas inuna ko muna ito to distract and clear my mind.Pinagmasdan ko ang sarili kong kamay na may suot na gloves puno na ng mga putik, at ramdam na ang matinding lagkit sa buong katawan dahil sa mga pawis na tumatagaktak sa noo ko.Hindi naman masyado tirik
"Don't make me embarrassed by this noble family, Kael." Nilakihan ako ni dad ng mata, and his voice is so low, preventing the people near us to hear what he is saying.Nakatitig lang ako sa mata ni dad, at pinipilit na huwag siyang sumbatan o masigawan. Never in my life shouted dad in front of anyone. Kung nagagalit man ako sa kanya, nilalabas ko lang ito sa iba."But Dad, I don't want to marry her!" I gazed at the woman who's smiling at me, and his father who's in a serious look."You need to, Kael. It is the better solution for you and for us. We can use their name for us to grow. "Napapikit na ang ako sa mata ko nang tinapik ni Dad ang balikat ko bago binalik ang atensyon sa kanila.Kahit labag sa kalooban ko, umupo na rin ako sa kanila and pretending like I am listening to them."So, siya na pala ang susunod sa'yo?