"J-Jack a-and J-Jill w-went u-up t-the h-hill to f-fetch a pail of w-water.."
Sidhiel stopped singing when he heard someone calling behind him. He turned his head to its direction and he was not surprised when he realized who it is.
Kalyx.
He was the son of Diehl's best friend, who also happened to be his godmother. The Brier's always visit them so he's already used to seeing Kalyx in their house.
Even though Sidhiel ignores him and doesn't talk to him, Kalyx still finds a way to get his attention and to make him talk to him. Or should he say, piss him off. It seems like Kalyx's visit in their house will not be complete until he annoys the hell out of him.
"You're already nine years old but you're still stuttering." Fourteen-year-old Kalyx teased.
Sidhiel ignored him. He just looked at the ground and quietly turned his back to him. He gripped his favorite teddy bear tightly like it will protect him.
"J-Jack a-and J-Jill w-went up the h-hill t-to f-fetch a p-pail of w-water," Kalyx mimicked him. And still not contented, he even stood in front of him. "That's a nursery rhyme. By now, you should've mastered it already. Why don't you straighten up your speech?" Kalyx's voice had a hint of anger in it.
Sidhiel continued being quiet. He just slightly lift his head to look at Kalyx, and bringing it back down again when he saw the anger in the taller boy's face.
"That's why they're laughing at you. You're too shy. What are you so shy about? You're a very pretty boy. Why does it seem like you find it so hard to speak?"
Sidhiel doesn't know what to answer. He, himself doesn't know why.
All he know is that he stutters when someone talks to him. Specially when it's his mom. His stuttering gets worse.
"C'mon, say 'Jack'", Kalyx encouraged.
Sidhiel lifted his head again and looked at Kalyx. Should he obey him or not? He doesn't know if he is serious or just playing him.
"I'm serious, okay. Just try it. Say 'Jack'."
Sidhiel stared at Kalyx's eyes when the latter leaned down to level his face with him. Its like he got hypnotized by the sincerity that he saw in those eyes. And that's enough reason for him to obey.
"J-Jack."
"Again. Jack."
"Jack." He did not stutter.
"Very good!" Kalyx was smiling widely.
Sidhiel was happy with Kalyx's reaction too.
"Now, say 'Jill'."
"Jill."
Again, he said it without stuttering. It was a big achievement for him already.
"I knew you could do it." Kalyx said smiling as he sat beside Sidhiel. "Don't panic. Remove the nervousness in your chest when you speak."
Sidhiel let out a shy smile. Although he's confused by the kindness that Kalyx shows him, he still can't stop being happy.
"Now, let's try my name. Say, 'Kalyx'."
Sidhiel stared at Kalyx for a long time before having the strength to say his name.
"K-Kalyx." Sidhiel said with blushing cheeks. He doesn't understand why when it was Kalyx's name that he's about to say, he got nervous.
It's not the kind of nervousness when he's speaking to his mommy. This was a different kind of nervousness. He can't name it.
"What's wrong with my name? Why did you stutter again when it was my name you're saying?" Kalyx asked, brows furrowed.
Sidhiel's grip on his teddy bear tightened while hiding his face and staring at his feet.
"Don't tell me.." Kalyx laughed. "Do you have a crush on me, Sidhie?"
Sidhiel just kept his head down. Kalyx calls him ‘Sidhie’ whenever he's teasing him.
"Sidhie has a crush on me." Kalyx teased. "You're still so young to have a crush." Kalyx continued.
He can't bear Kalyx teasing him anymore. So he stood up and ran back inside the house and went straight to the only place that gives him peace.
His room.
*****
Kalyx was left shaking his head. He doesn't know why everytime he and his mom goes to the Elysdane's, he can't help teasing and annoying Sidhiel.
He's pissed at the boy’s shyness. The boy doesn't even fight back even though he annoys him too much. Sidhiel will just look down and keep quiet.
One time, he saw Sidhiel getting picked on by his younger sister Eara. He saw how Eara stomped her feet on the teddy bear that Sidhiel always holds.
Sidhiel just cried, taking the teddy bear back. No word came out of his mouth.
No complain. No fighting back. No sneeze. No nothing.
A while ago, when he told Sidhiel to repeat what he said, he saw that he can speak properly as long as he doesn't feel threatened.
He's really wondering why Sidhiel is always afraid, if not nervous or shy.
He knows that Sidhiel can speak straight and properly because he had seen him speaking without stuttering.
It happened when his mother, Alena and him visited them. Because of how bored he is, he decided to take a walk. His feet brought him to the garden.
The garden of the Elysdane's were big and had variety of flowers. He was about to go back in the house when he heard a voice. The voice was speaking to someone.
He listened carefully for the source of the voice and followed it. He stopped in his tracks when he saw that the voice was coming from Sidhiel.
The boy was seated on the Bermuda grass and talking to his teddy bear. "Did you brush your teeth, Mr. Ted?" Kalyx heard Sidhiel ask the toy.
He was really surprised because of how straight Sidhiel was speaking. He listened further.
"Before you go to sleep, you should brush your teeth. That's what my teacher said. So, you should brush your teeth too, okay?"
"Let's sleep now because if mommy heard us speaking loudly, we will surely get hit again. Unfortunately, Daddy's not here. He's on a business trip." Sidhiel said to the teddy bear after a while.
Kalyx clearly noticed the sadness in Sidhiel's voice when he said the last part. Even he noticed that Sidhiel was not close to his mother, which happened to be Kalyx's godmother. When his Aunt Diehl visits them, she always brings Eara.
And come to think of it, she had never brought Sidhiel to them. Aside from that, he saw how happy his Aunt Diehl is when it comes to Eara. He would always hear praises from his Aunt when talking about Eara while it's the opposite when Sidhiel is the topic.
It also did not go unnoticed to him that Sidhiel seems afraid of his mother. Opposite when it was his father with him.
Sidhiel's eyes were bright and sparkling when he is talking to his father. Everyone can see how close the two are. He can't say that Mark favored Sidhiel because he also treats Eara the same way. But it's obvious that there's something special between the father and son bond.
Ever since he discovered that Sidhiel can speak properly when alone, he did not stopped annoying and teasing him. He wants Sidhiel to accidentally speak clearly because of how pissed he is with him. But so far, the boy will just keep quiet when he is annoying him.
It would've been better earlier because Sidhiel had communicated to him already when he obeyed his instruction. He doesn't know what entered his mind and he teased him again when Sidhiel stuttered at his name.
Kalyx smiled. He knows that all Sidhiel needs is encouragement from those who are around him. Most particularly, from his own mother.
He had to help Sidhiel get over his shyness. In that way, there's a possibility that his stuttering will disappear.
It's one of those days that Eara's interest was on Sidhiel'sfavorite teddy bear again. She kept on taking the stuffed toy from Sidhiel. What happened was the two ended up holding each arm of the toy and kept on pulling on it. Earamanaged to take the toy from Sidhielbut her arm swung towards Diehl's expensive and favorite vase. The vase fell on the floor and broke into pieces. Kalyx clearly saw everything that had happened. Diehl also heard it because she immediately went where her son and daughter were, followed by Alena. "What happened here?" Diehlasked, eyes darting to her son and daughter back and forth. Diehl's face darkened upon seeing the broken vase. "Who broke the vase?" She asked angrily, eyes focused on Sidhiel. "M-Mom-" Sidhieltried. "I-I just want to borrow his toy, Mommy. But then-" Earatried to explain. Diehl turned to Sidhiel, cutting Eara off. "Since before, you always cause headache
"I'll miss you, Dad. I'll always miss you." Sidhielsaid crying while holding the picture of his deceased father.He hugged the picture and let out heartbreaking sobs. His father died after his bypass operation. Although the specialists already told them that there's a fifty-fifty chance to it, they still expected him to survive.But faith was playful. He can still remember their conversation before his father was brought inside the operating room."Sidhiel, if I don't make it in there, I want you to take care of yourself. Do what your heart tells you. Believe in yourself, honey." Mark weakly said while the nurses were wheeling him towards the operating room. He was clutching his father’s hand tightly, not wanting to let it go.He was stopping his father from talking but Mark continued. "I am so proud of you, Sid. I know all of your achievements." Sidhiellooked at
He closed his eyes again. He was hallucinating.All right, there's not a day that passed without him thinking about this person. He was always in his prayers.But it couldn't be.When Sidhielopened his eyes again, it was confirmed. The tall and well-built figure standing on the doorway with quizzical brown eyes was indeed KalyxBrier. The man he had admired for as long as he could remember, was standing in front of him.The man was smiling widely at him."K-Ka.."He can't even say his name."K-Kalyx..?""Why, Sidhie, you've grown up! What took you so long? Did you know that I've been waiting for you here for hours?" Kalyxsaid in a flash without stopping.Sidhiel just continued staring at Kalyx. His cerulean eyes were wide with surprise. His mouth was even slightly parted."You might catch flies." Kalyxteased.He immediately closed his mouth. He felt his face getting hot with embarrass
Kalyxhad been lying on his bed for a long while now but his mind is still very much awake.The sweet smile on his lips hasn't been erased yet.He suffered ten long years of not being able to see Sidhiel'sbeautiful face. He had no choice but to be contented with the photos of Sidhielthat his mom sent him.Earlier, while waiting for the boy, he can't help himself from worrying when night came and Sidhielstill hasn't come home.It was nine-thirty when he told his Aunt Diehlthat he will wait for Sidhiel. Diehlhad already retired in her room but Kalyxwas still left worrying in the big living room. Still hoping for the only person he had been anticipating to see, to finally arrive.Exactly ten o-clock when he decided that he will just wait on the front porch of the house. And imagine his surprise and happiness when upon opening the door, he saw a close-eyed Sidhiel.He can't forget the expression on Sidhie
"What's the problem with your car?" Kalyxasked upon nearing him.Sidhieljust wished that he doesn't look so bad. He felt so small beside Kalyx, because he literally is smaller than the man.No word came out of his mouth. He thought that this was better than stuttering infront of him."Let me see your car." Kalyxheldthe hood of his car.Sidhieljust stood there watching Kalyxwhile the latter was checkingthe engine of his car."The problem was the radiator. You also need to tune this up." Kalyxsaid after a few minutes."I-Is that so? Thank you. I can handle it from here. You should go." He said wanting to get away from Kalyx."Where will you go? Why does your car seem so full?" Kalyxasked not commenting on Sidhiel'swords."I just had to go somewhere important.""I think it's better if I just drive you to where you're going," Kalyx said."Huh? Uhm.. I d
Sidhiel'sface felt hot. If Kalyxwas trying to make him feel uncomfortable, he was succeeding."And because you don't want to talk to me properly. When I asked you questions, your answer is so short like you're allergic to me. This is better." Kalyx said, still grinning.Sidhiellooked down at his fingers at the same time that the waiter came back with their orders."Okay, I'll talk to you. But stop staring at me." He said when he liftedhis head again."All right. Shoot.""A-Are you staying f-for good?" He cursed himself for stammering.Kalyxlaughed. "Hey, you're stuttering again. Why?"Instead of answering, he just focused on his food. Maybe, it would be better if he just ignore Kalyx. After all, he can't match him."Why can't you at least try to be mad or snobbish?" Kalyx commented amusedly. "Before, during our childhood days, you don't fight back even when you're annoyed at me. You will just look
"I don't know why I reacted that way, Dad. I just said all those things to Kalyx." Sidhieladmitted in front of his father's tombstone. That's where his feet brought him. He expects that if he tells his father what happened between him and Kalyx a while ago, the tension he's feeling will decrease. But he wasn't succeeding. "Ahh!" He rubbed his face with his hands. "I'm stupid, stupid, stupid. Why Dad? Why does every time I see him, all I can envision and think is how far we are from each other? I feel like, I don't even have the right to be his friend. I don't know, Dad. I hate this feeling. Why do I always feel like I'm nothing compared to everyone." "I tried to do what you told me, Dad. You know, that ‘believing-in-yourself’thing. I swear I tried. Sometimes, I succeed. But a lot of times, I fail." Sidhielcried because of frustration. " I think, Mommy is right. That I am heading nowhere. That I will just stay like this. I wou
A lot of minutes had passed but Sidhiel'sheart is still racing. Whew! What happened during dinner was tough. It was not him that Earakept on interrogating but it felt like he was the one on the hot seat. Good thing he thought immediately of a way out. He was thankful that he doesn't need to hear Kalyx's answer because he will surely get hurt. What kind of person in his right mind would like to date someone as simple and plain as him? Certainly not Kalyx. Heissure that Kalyxwould want to be with someone that is intelligent and fun to talk to and be with. Not like him who shakes with nervousness and stammers when spoken to. But he was surprised by how Earadescribed him. They both know that she was referringto him. A simple person but very beautiful in their own way. Those were Eara's exact words. This is the first time that Eara complimented him. His father would often tell him how gorgeous he is
Mr. Steiner's exhibit was auspicious. A lot of people loved and were impressed by Sidhiel's works. That night was a success. Of course, Kalyxwas with him that night. As well as their families, even Mrs. Porter. He already forgave his mother. They already talked heart to heart. It would take time for them to be close to one another but they're both willing to work on it. ***** "Geez, Kalyx. Stop, please. You're making me dizzy." Alenasaid, staring at her son pacing back and forth in the room. "Sorry, Mom. I'm just.. just really-" "Nervous?" Geoff supplied. Kalyxnodded. "Yeah." "Well, don't be. Everything's going to be fine, son." Alenasaid. "I know.. I just.. what if he changes his mind?" Kalyx's eyes widened at his own realization. "Oh my gosh, Dad, Mom, what if he realized that he doesn't want to get married to me? What if he realized that I'm not the one for him? What i
Sidhiel felt so happy and light after their sibling talk. Earahad been gone for a while now but promised to come by again tomorrow. Now, he really believes that the sun shines after the storm. How he wished that his husband would come home soon. He wanted to apologize for not believing him when he said he loved him. Please, Kalyx, come home. He silently pleads. And it looks like his guardian angel was listening, because the door opened, presenting Kalyx. Their eyes met. Kalyx's expression was soft. It looks like he was not mad anymore. Hope surged in Sidhiel'sheart. "H-Hi." He greeted. "Hi, yourself!" Kalyxgreeted, smiling fondly. Kalyxwalked towards him and encircled his waist with his arms, pulling him towards him. "Are you in the mood to talk now, Mr. Brier?" Sidhiel'seyes became teary. His husband is not mad anymore. "Sshh.. It's okay,
When Sidhielfinally managed to stop himself from crying, heand Kalyxare now sitting on the grass, facing each other. "Now I know why Mommy is so distant to me ever since I was a child." He told Kalyxin narration. "In a way, I understand her, you know. She was raped. She's mad at my father. And I remind her of what happened. But still, a big part of me wants to be angry at her." He admitted. Kalyxjust listened. His hands were caging Sidhiel'ssmall ones, like he's giving him the strength to continue. "It was not my fault." Sidhiel'stears started to appear again. "I just wished she had been a mother to me." He stated forlornly. "What ever it is that happened, it did not happen without a reason. There were lessons learned. And that's what matters. We learned something from it." Kalyxfinally said. He pulled Sidhieland encased him in his arms again. They remained that way for around five minutes.
Sidhielquickly started the engine of his car and drove away from the studio. He already said what he needed to say to Kalyx. After what happened, he doesn't know how to face him again. But before that, he needs to know something first. If he needs to face everything, he would want to do it now. He'll confront everything today. Not long after, he stopped his car in front of their house. He had to talk to his mother once and for all. He saw no one in their living room, so he went straight to his mother's room. Before reaching his destination, he passed by the library. Its door was open and he heard talking inside. He listened. He knows the voices: his mother and Mrs. Porter. "I don't know why he needs to communicate with me again after the years that passed by." He heard his mom say. Anger was evident in her voice. "What does Roy need? Did he say it?" It was Mrs. Porter's voice. "He wants to meet his child."
Sidhielwas already asleep but Kalyxwas still awake. The room was full of shadows but enough moonlight found its way through the window so he could see Sidhiel'sface in the darkness. Besides, Sidhiel already changed his position in his sleep. He was now facing him. "Nothing could be better than this," Kalyx murmured sleepily. He brought his hand up and ran his knuckles along his husband's cheek. Sidhiellooked so beautiful. He looked so peaceful and contented lying there in Kalyx's arms. Sidhielcares. With that thought, he went to sleep. ***** Sidhiel stared at the masterpiece that he just finished painting. Finally, he was done with the last painting that he will need for the exhibit. He was so happy when he woke up that morning. Kalyx was not in their flat anymore but he left a note, saying that he just has to finish something important and that t
"Oh, my!" Sidhielsaid after his shock. "Have you been there since-?"He cut himself off, feeling a sense of dè jávu. His dialogue was a replay. It also happened before."Got you.. again." Kalyxsaid smiling."Y-you're home early," Sidhiel stated to cover up for his embarrassment."Do I hear disappointment, love? You don't seem happy that I went home early today." Kalyxteased."N-No! I mean, of course, I'm glad that you're early. Are you hungry? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." He turned around to face the stove."Why are you always barefooted? The floor is cold."Kalyx's obvious concern brought a pleasant fluttering in Sidhiel's heart. Only now did he fully realize how much he missed Kalyx."How was your day? Did you go to Jade's studio? Did you paint?" He felt Kalyxbehind him. He knows because his attention was on him instead of the food he's cooking. Besides, his radar is stro
Time passed by quickly.It had been three weeks since Sidhiel married Kalyx. So far, there had not been any problem between them, aside from Kalyx working overtime almost every day for the preparation of the engineering firm he'd been building in the country.They almost had not been seeing each other because the man goes to work early and gets back home very late. Just one more week and Kalyx's company will be operational.It's okay with Sidhiel too because he's also busy with the upcoming exhibit. His days were spent in Jade's studio to paint. Once in a while, he and Mr. Niall Steiner coordinate. He's also nearly finished with his last painting.Right now, he's cooking dinner. It was six in the evening and he was not in a hurry because he knows that his husband won't be home until later and that he will just eat alone.The radio was blasting loudly. He was singing along, ironically, to Faber Drive's Tongue Tied while waiting for the pan to heat u
Two days later, Sidhielfound himself standing beside Kalyxin front of a judge.When the judge said that he and Kalyx are now husbands, instead of feeling relieved, he felt nervous even more.The judge shakes their hands then said that they can now seal their marriage with a kiss.Sidhiel gathered all his courage to turn and face Kalyx. Kalyx's eyes seem to be saying something, but before he could identify it, Kalyx's lips captured his already.Their kiss was short, but Sidhielfelt his knees weaken. Kalyxseemed to know it because he surrounded Sidhiel'swaist with his arms.The way Kalyx was holding him was full of gentleness like he's some kind of a porcelain doll.After a small party in celebration oftheir union, they head to a flat that was owned by Kalyx."I'm sorry if this is where we'll stay for a while," Kalyx explained when they entered the flat."This is okay," Sidhiel said timidly whi
"Since when is this happening?""Huh?" Sidhielwas confused. Why does it seem like his mother had calmed down?"Answer my question. Since when is this happening?""Just…now.""Go upstairs. Get some rest. We will talk about this later." She seriously said.He confusedly obeyed his mother. He needs to talk to Kalyx to tell him about the situation. He'll just take a nap. Then, he will contact the man immediately once he woke up. He needs to warn Kalyx.He will understand him. Right?*****A gentle tap on his shoulder, along with a call of his name was what woke Sidhielup."Hmm?" Sidhiel slowly sat up and stretched his arms up, yawning and rubbing his eyes with a closed fist. "What is it, Mrs. Porter?""Your mother called for you. They are all waiting downstairs.His eyebrows furrowed. "Who are 'they'?""You could've at least entrusted me with this secret, honey."