Spirals: Tattoo in my mind

"Thanks Cole" Cole pulls me into a hug and I hesitantly put my hand on his back, giving into the hug.I pull away from him and I make my way out of the hall and let the college breeze hit my skin. I'm so going to miss a lot of things when I leave college."Um.. Bailey" Cole scratches the back of his head. "I want to ask if you'll um.. maybe li..like a dinner, maybe coffee with me" he stuttersWell it's two days to my graduation so loosing up a bit for a date won't harm me. As much as I'm very jumbled emotionally, I want to spend my last days in college happy. "Sure" I smile."Great! I'll text you the time and place" he hugs me.Well we've got a hug lover here. I wrap my hands round him. I need this comfort, I'm afraid I might break down soon. I sniff and pull away.I shouldn't be doing this. Not after a breakup with Bryne. "Are you okay Bailey" his forehead creases and I think I see concern on his face

The door of the room opens and Bryne walks in holding a tray, my nose picks the sweet smell of pan cakes and my belly rumbles in impatience and hunger. He drops the tray on the table and goes to the door. He inserts the key and turns it to lock before pulling it out and placing it inside the pocket of the dark blue pant he's wearing. For some reason I'm not scared a bit by his actions, I know Bryne like the back of my palm, he can't do anything to hurt me, or so I think.I shriek when I feel his tough hands lift me up and carry me to the bed. The anger I feel is starting to get dissolved by this singular act. This is the reason I don't trust myself around him, one moment I'm acting all furious at him and the next I'm practically melting under his touch. He drops me on the bed and I feel my face starting to squeeze into a frown at the loss of contact but I quickly adjust my facial expression and keep my face neutral."Would you mind if I feed you or you'll eat on your own" his low hu

I groan and jump on my bed immediately he leaves the room. I bite my lower lip hard, so hard that it'll soon start bleeding.What the hell did I just do.After all my months of claiming and making all my girlfriends believe I hate him this is what I pull out.His lips-Oh don't get me started subconscious! I dig my fingers into my skin hoping it will dig out some sense. Just one time together and I'm already fumbling so bad, what happened to the emotionally independent Bailey?I cover the sheets over myself and groan again. Just one day with him around me and I'm already sucking his face. I hit the bed furiously and sigh in frustration, anger, whichever. It's just so hard to be mad at him with his body all over my space. There's a gentle knock on the door then the key clicks and the door flings open. Bryne comes in with holding a pile of clothes in his hands. He drops the clothes on the bed without saying a word and leaves the room but not before I catch the sad expression in his eyes

He made me trust guys again. He made me trust guys with golden brown hair-which he has streaks of- or any hair color. He made my relationship with my dad get stronger again, too sad it didn't last long because my dad died, before I could even feel guilty of pushing him away.Bryne cleans my cheek with his thumb and I notice I am crying. He plays with my hair and strokes my cheek with his other hand. I draw in a breath and inhale his scent and it immediately soothes me. I won't lie that I don't miss all this care and intimacy with him, I do, a lot infact I crave it everytime, the warmth our bodies get from physical contact, the sensation I get when he takes care of me. Damn! I still love him, and as many heart beats my heart missed when I said that I still want to stand on my word of not dating him again. But most importantly I want answers and that I will get now. "Bryne" Red caution Bailey, this may not end well, proceed at hearts' risk."Hmm" he mumbles half-heartedly"I want to-

I open my eyes slowly and feel my body on another. Part of my body is lying on top his body and his hands are on my back, locking me firmly to his body. How did we get here?The events of last night come flushing into my brain and I feel my cheek reddening. My eyes settle on his shirtless upper body and I shamelessly check it out. I carry my face from his chest slowly and carefully, not to wake him up I roll over and lie on my side.I admire his sinful beauty, if I can just touch it once more. That's right I can touch it, after all he's sleeping. I flatten my palm on his chest and feel each rhythmic movement his chest makes when he breathes. I outline his body with my hands, over the six divisions on his belly to the tattoo on his chest. I remember when he got that, I came back tired from the classes I had and he came into my house grinning like he just won a lottery. He made me close my eyes, trust me I still cheated, opening my eyes slightly to try to take peaks of whatever surprise