PROLOGUE

"Lucky"

“Always remember Einalem that all of us have purpose in this world, the reason why we’re living now. Don’ waste this life because you have purpose, the only thing that you need to do…is find it. Einalem, find your purpose so you would have a reason to live.”

That was my grandmother last message to me before she died in that hospital bed. After that day it always keeps repeating on my mind. Grandma says we all have purpose in this world the reason why we live. It means I have purpose. We’re not just nothing.

While my mother says that someone from above is the most powerful. He’s the one who gave us life. He gave us hope. He gave us blessings and gifts. We make sins but he’s always ready to forgive as long as we’re regretting.

My mother said that I’m lucky that I’m here in this world. I’m lucky because I tasted the Earth’s blessings. I’m lucky because I clearly saw the light. I’m lucky because I felt the word ‘love’.

But I couldn’t imagine that I’m one of those lucky people since I heard about my condition from the doctor.

I guess…I’m not lucky enough…

“Einalem!” I heard my mom’s shaking voice beside me. I also heard my dad’s sobbing. But all I felt was pain. Pain and pain. My whole body was in pain. My brain and heart was in pain.

“Einalem…please stay with us..” Mommy said while crying while holding my hands tightly. I don’t have a time to face mommy anymore because of the pain I’m feeling. I closed my eyes tightly as my head and body poured out. I’m almost deaf because of the pain. My tears are flowing like water falls. How? How can I escape this pain? Can I…have a break for all of these?

I saw the nurses around me with my blurred vision while they’re rushing me towards the emergency room. The happiest moment of my life turns out to be the most painful night. On my 18^th birthday I suddenly felt dizzy and sick, I have long notice many blesses in my body and I don’t know where it comes from…until this day came. Pain is all over my body. I almost couldn’t open my eyes because of pain. I am still wearing my gown for my debut but sadly it will turn into a hospital gown later.

When I entered the emergency room I felt the quick action of doctors and nurses to treat me. Until I felt the little needle pierced on me. And it made me so dizzy and sleepy. I prayed that this pain would gone once I wake up. And I hope that someone from above could hear my prayer.

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was my mother’s face. She were smiling at me.

“Mom..” I called her. When my vision got cleared I saw her smile but the sadness on her eyes is very evident. And then I saw daddy, he’s also smiling at me. Why do I have this feeling that they are just faking it? What’s the problem?

“Dad..” I also called my father. They both embraced me tightly like any moment now I could disappear. My eyes furrowed at their reactions.

“W-What’s the problem?” I asked weak. They withdrew from their hug. Dad caressed my cheeks and Mom stared at me softly.

“We’re glad you’re fine now.” Mom said. I smiled but I’m still confuse. I still want to talk to them when suddenly the doctor entered the room. Mommy and Daddy quickly faced him.

“What’s the result doc?” Dad asked. When my father ask that question I got determined to know my condition. The doctor looked at me with his sad and concerned eyes. Why? What is it?

“I’m sorry..Mr and Mrs Zurbano…but your daughter is sick.” he said. Mom started to cry but I felt numb. Why is she crying? Why? I’m just sick! What is it? Fever?!

I can’t understand Dad looked at me with his sad and weary eyes. I shook my head. Why? I can’t understand! Why are they reacting like that?

“S-Stop crying Mom…I-I can be healed-” I stopped from talking when Mom hugged me tightly! Dad started to shed tears! My strong daddy is crying! Why are they crying!?

“I’m sorry Einalem..but it would not be easy for you..” The doctor said and I want to shout at him so much! Why don’t he tell me everything?

“What is it?” I pleaded. I want answers! I saw how hesitant the doctor was but but I am very determined to know!

“The symptoms you had and the blood result shows that you have….a Leukemia stage 2.”

My hands started to shake, tears started to formed in the side of my eyes. I couldn’t breathe properly. My world suddenly crumpled down. I wished that it isn’t true. But even though I pinched and hurt myself repeatedly it always tells me that it is true. It’s not a dream nor imagination. This is the only fact that I couldn’t accept. I don’t want to believe it. But my mind were so clouded and even I heard how my parents cried for me I remained spaced out.

They are all wrong. I am not lucky. I have no purpose. I am destined to die early than them. Since that day I started to hate this world. I started to hate the pain. I started to lose hope…because I am dying…anyway.