2 - Desperate

Soleil glanced at the approaching vehicle and, in a desperate attempt to escape her overwhelming reality, she ran towards the street, aiming to stage her death. But before the car could reach her, she lost consciousness.

She awoke to a strange sensation on her neck, her vision blurred. The overwhelming realization that she was still alive confused her. Napahalinghing siya ng mahina at humarap sa isang lalaki na naglalapit ang mukha sa kanya. Bago pa niya maiproseso ang sitwasyon, nagtagpo ang kanilang mga labi sa isang hindi inaasahang halik.

As Soleil's lips brushed against his, she felt a strange thrill and smirked slightly. The man, startled by the kiss, quickly adjusted his position and ended up on top of her. Soleil's heart raced as she looked into his eyes, desperately hoping he would be her savior.

The man, Lysander, snapped back to reality and stared at her, his expression a mix of shock and bewilderment. He took in the scene before him—Soleil gasping for breath, her eyes wide with a mix of hope and desperation.

“Now that you’ve kissed me, marry me.” Soleil said with a sense of urgency, her voice trembling with desperation. She clung to the hope that Lysander might be the answer to her troubles, the one who could rescue her from her miseries.

“You’re insane,” Lysander commented as he stood up, clearly bewildered by the situation.

Lysander left the room, his mind reeling from the unexpected turn of events. He headed straight to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Once inside, he leaned against the door, his hand lingering on his lips, where he could still feel the lingering sensation of Soleil's addicting kiss.

“What is she thinking?” Lysander muttered angrily to himself. His frustration was evident as he raked his fingers through his hair, the disheveled strands reflecting his inner turmoil. Naglakad-lakad siya mula sa isang dulo ng kwarto papunta sa kabila, ang kanyang mga hakbang ay sumasalamin sa kaguluhan ng kanyang isipan.

How could he have responded to Soleil’s kiss like that, especially when he had a girlfriend? The guilt and confusion of the situation weighed heavily on him.

“Am I cheating?!” he questioned himself in disbelief, the reality of the situation hitting him hard. The thought of being unfaithful, even inadvertently, gnawed at him. His emotions were a tangled mess of anger, guilt, and confusion as he tried to make sense of what had just happened.

Hindi nakatulog ng gabing iyon si Lysander dahil sa gulong-gulo ito sa nangyayari. Habang si Soleil naman ay sobrang himbing ng pagkakatulog, lalo na nang maramdam nitong kahit paano ay nagkaroon siya ng pag-asa.

At dahil hindi nakatulog si Lysander, ay nagluto nalang ito ng agahan nilang dalawa. Nagluto ito ng chao fan, sunny-side egg, bacon. Nagtusta din ito ng tinapay at gumawa ng vegetable salad.

Nagising si Soleil nang makaamoy na masarap na pagkain. Kaagad siyang dinala ng kanyang pang-amoy at ng mga paa sa kusina kung saan nakita niya ang binata na suot ang itim na apron habang nakatalikod ito sa kanya.

Soleil’s gaze was locked on Lysander’s physique. Unlike Jared’s bulkier frame, Lysander’s build was leaner and more refined, yet just as powerful. His body was a perfect blend of strength and agility, each muscle flexing with a quiet, captivating grace. It was the kind of allure that didn’t demand attention but naturally drew it in.

His broad shoulders tapered into a defined chest and narrow waist, forming a V-shaped torso that radiated strength. His toned arms displayed a quiet power, with the muscles in his forearms rippling with each precise movement. Even his posture exuded calm confidence, and his body perfectly attuned to his surroundings. His lightly tanned skin highlighted the contours of his muscles, making them more pronounced with every shift, hinting at the power just beneath the surface.

Soleil’s gaze lingered on his well-defined abdomen, where each muscle seemed perfectly sculpted. The way his shirt clung to his body highlighted his form, leaving just enough to the imagination to keep her captivated. There was a magnetic quality to his presence—a natural, understated allure that combined strength with subtlety. Every movement he made was deliberate, exuding a quiet confidence that drew Soleil in, making it impossible for her to look away.

Soleil muttered a curse under her breath as her heart skipped a beat, realizing that the man she had been quietly observing was now facing her directly. His piercing gaze locked onto hers, and for a moment, it felt as though time had stopped. Ramdam niya ang bigat ng titig nito, na para bang binabasa nito ang bawat iniisip at nararamdaman niya.

“Done checking?” the man asked, his deep, husky voice slicing through the silence. 

It was a voice that carried a weight of authority, one that demanded attention and respect. Parang humaplos sa kanyang kaluluwa ang tinig nito, nagpapadala ng kakaibang kilabot sa kanyang katawan. She was caught off guard by the unexpected timbre of his voice—commanding, yet with an undercurrent of something darker, something that made her pulse quicken.

Napakunot ang noo ni Soleil nang marinig niya ang boses nito, but she quickly masked her reaction, clearing her throat to regain her composure. Dali-dali niyang nilinaw ang kanyang lalamunan at inayos ang sarili. This was not the time to be swayed by his presence.

Taking a deep breath, Soleil met his gaze head-on, her expression firm and unwavering. “About what I’ve said earlier,” she began, her voice steady and resolute, though her heart was pounding in her chest. “Marry me.”

The words hung in the air between them, bold and unyielding. Walang bakas ng pag-aalinlangan sa kanyang tono. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to ask for it. “I may sound desperate,” she continued, her eyes never leaving his, “but please, marry me.”

Wala nang pakialam si Soleil, kahit tapakan pa niya ang kanyang pride, basta makalayo lamang siya sa mga pagkadismaya, at kahihiyan na kanyang dala. Desperada na siya, at handa niyang gawin ang lahat, kahit pa ang magmukhang tanga, para lang makahanap ng paraan upang takasan ang kanyang sitwasyon. Ang kanyang isip ay punong-puno ng kaguluhan, ngunit alam niya na ito na ang kanyang huling baraha.

“Baliw ba siya?” bulong ni Lysander sa sarili habang pinagmamasdan ang babae. Kung talagang ganito na ang kalagayan nito, dapat siguro ay dinala na lang niya ito sa mental ospital imbes na sa kanyang tahanan. Wala siyang maisip na dahilan kung bakit gagawin ni Soleil ang ganitong bagay, lalo na sa isang tulad niya na halos hindi niya kilala.

As Soleil waited in desperate silence, her anxiety was palpable. She tapped her feet on the ground repeatedly, the sound a reflection of her frantic heartbeat. Her hands were busy biting her nails, unable to stay still.

Every second felt like an eternity, and each subtle movement the man made seemed to bring a new wave of fear and hope. Her eyes remained fixed on him, feeling the cold sweat trickling down the back of her neck while her breathing grew heavier and slower.

With each passing moment, her desperation deepened. Her mind raced through countless scenarios—what if he said no? What if he refused to help her? But despite the storm raging inside her, she forced herself to maintain control, trying to mask her worry with a determined expression, even as she felt like she was on the verge of breaking down under the weight of waiting for the answer that would determine her future.

“No.”

Parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig si Soleil sa simpleng sagot ng lalaki. Nawala ang anumang natitirang pag-asa na naglalaro sa kanyang isipan. Napabuntong-hininga siya nang malalim, alam niyang kailangan na niyang gamitin ang kanyang huling alas, ang bagay na kahit siya ay nahihirapang isiwalat.

“I’m pregnant. And my family will kill me once they know that I’m pregnant without it’s father. So, please help me out. We can have divorce after that, silently. You can have all you want, money? Cars? House? A land? I can offer you everything.” Sunod-sunod na sabi ni Soleil, ni hindi nga ito huminga para lang masabi iyon ng mabilis sa lalaki.

“She doesn’t... know me?” Lysander muttered to himself after hearing Soleil’s frantic offer. 

The despair in his voice was palpable. It wasn’t that he needed anything she was offering—he could easily afford such luxuries himself. Still, he couldn’t help but furrow his brow and look at her with a mixture of curiosity and irritation. 

Paano nga ba hindi siya kilala ng babaeng ito? Siya ang nag-iisang anak ng Pangulo ng Pilipinas, at hindi makapaniwala si Lysander na may taong tulad niya na hindi alam ang tungkol sa kanya. 

Umupo siya sa tapat ni Soleil, ramdam ang sakit ng ulo dulot ng kakulangan sa tulog, at sa taas ng lahat, inaasahan siyang magiging ama ng dinadala ng dalaga. “Wala na bang mas ikakagrabe doon?” iritableng sabi niya sa sarili, na parang hindi na makaya ang sitwasyon.

Soleil, meanwhile, was almost on the verge of tears. “Ano? Please, just help me out. My father will be home next week from China. He will kill me,” she pleaded desperately.

She knew that her father wouldn’t literally kill her—after all, she was his only child. Pero alam niyang kayang i-abandon siya ng kanyang ama. Isang beses na itong ginawa ng kanyang ama, nang mawala siya sa landas at magrebelde sa mga inaasahan nito. Ang takot na mabigo sa mga pangarap ng kanyang pamilya ay nagdadala ng labis na pangamba sa kanya, kaya't ang huling pag-asa niya ay ang tulong ni Lysander.

“No. I have a girlfriend,” Lysander replied firmly, his voice steady as he reached for the chao fan and served himself. His simple act of eating seemed to emphasize his resolve.

Soleil sank into her chair, feeling completely defeated. She stared at the food in front of her, but her sadness and disappointment were overwhelming. Ilang sandali lang ay sinikmura siya kung kaya’t napatakbo ito sa kusina para magsuka sa lababo. Hindi biro ang pagbubuntis. Wala na itong magawang iba kun’di ang sumuka lalo na’t sa tuwing nakakaamoy ito ng mga mababahong amoy at hindi kaaya-aya sa kanyang pang-amoy.

“Fvk,” Lysander muttered under his breath, cursing as he followed her. The chaos of the situation seemed inevitable, and despite his anger, he felt a pang of concern for the woman.

“Go away!” Soleil cried out, her voice filled with a mix of frustration and anguish. Her sense of abandonment and isolation was palpable, and the tears streaming down her face highlighted how deeply she felt that no one cared for her.

“What did I do wrong? Why does everyone reject me?” Her thoughts brought her to tears, each question echoing the depth of her pain. The sense of failure and hopelessness overwhelmed her, making it hard to see any way out.

Lysander, meanwhile, was struggling with his own feelings. He clenched his fists, unsure of how to handle the situation. Nagagalit ito sa taong nagbuntis sa babae na hindi man lang ito kayang panindigan. He knew how difficult pregnancy could be, especially for a woman who was alone and facing the responsibility of raising a child on her own. This thought hurt him. He was human too. He had a heart. But he couldn’t agree to the woman’s demand to become an ‘instant daddy.’ He didn’t even know her, and now she was asking him to marry her?

“Nahihibang na siya,” he muttered again to himself, his tone filled with concern and confusion. The situation seemed increasingly unmanageable, and he struggled with the weight of the unexpected turn his life had taken.

Bumukas ang pintuan ng kanyang condo unit at iniluwal noon si Fidel na may dalang paper bag. Pinabili kasi nito ni Lysander ng damit para sa babae nang sa gano'n ay makaalis na ito sa kanyang condo.

Wala sa sariling tumayo si Soleil at nagmadaling lumabas ng kanyang condo. Lutang na lutang siya habang papunta sa elevator, walang saplot sa paa, at ang hitsura niya ay magulo, tila bagong gising mula sa isang digmaan—isang digmaan ng buhay.

“Miss!” tawag sa kanya ni Lysander. Hindi niya inaasahan na susundan siya ng lalaki, lalo na’t ayaw naman nito na pakasalan siya o iligtas.

Hindi nilingon ni Soleil si Lysander at patuloy na naghihintay sa pagdating ng elevator. “Sandali!” wika nito habang tumabi sa dalaga at may inilapag sa sahig. Napatingin si Soleil sa ilalim, kung saan nakita niya ang kanyang sandal.

Napatawa si Soleil ng mahina, na nagbigay ng pagkagulat kay Lysander. Ang tawanan niyang iyon ay agad na napalitan ng pag-agos ng luha. Nagulat si Lysander sa biglang pagluha ni Soleil.

Agad na tiningnan ni Lysander ang paligid upang tiyakin na walang makakakita sa kanilang dalawa. Nang makita niyang wala, lumapit siya kay Soleil, na pinipigilan ang mga luha. Hindi niya alam kung paano pakalmahin ang babae. Baka kasi isipin nito na ang kanyang pag-aalala ay isang paraan upang pilitin siyang pakasalan siya.

“Shh, don’t cry. Sht,” sabi ni Lysander, ang tono ng kanyang boses ay naglalaman ng hindi siguradong pag-aalala. Hindi niya alam kung paano makikipag-usap sa dalaga nang hindi nagpapakita ng labis na emosyon, natatakot na baka isipin nito na ang kanyang pag-comfort ay isang paraan para mas mapilit siya.

Nang pupunasan na sana ni Lysander ang mga luha ni Soleil, agad na itinulak ng babae ang kanyang kamay palayo. Bumukas ang elevator, kaya't pumasok si Soleil sa loob, ngunit sumunod din si Lysander at ipinasok sa loob ang tsinelas na bitbit.

Napatitig si Soleil sa ginawa ng lalaki, ang kanyang isipan ay naguguluhan. What to do? tanong niya sa sarili. Unti-unti na siyang nawawalan ng pag-asa; ang kaunting liwanag na natitira sa kanya kanina ay tila tuluyan nang nawala.

“You don’t need to be kind to me, sir,” sabi ni Soleil, ang boses niya ay puno ng lungkot at pagkabigo. Napatingin si Lysander sa kanya, nagtataka sa sinasabi ng babae.

“How could I not be? You’re a mess,” sagot ni Lysander, ang tono ng kanyang boses ay naglalaman ng pag-aalala. Tumayo siya at tinabihan si Soleil habang ang dalawa ay nakatingin sa pintuan ng elevator na unti-unting bumubukas.

“So, as if you’re willing to save someone like me. A mess. A disappointment,” napatawa si Soleil ng mahina, ang kanyang ulo ay nakayuko, nagmumukhang nababalisa. “What’s wrong with me? My boyfriend cheated on me and doesn’t want to take responsibility for this bullshit. And fvk. Fvk this life,” wika ng babae, ang kanyang boses ay puno ng pighati at inis.