Malcolm’s eyes fell on me, cold and stern.
“This is not Malcolm’s idea, it is simply tradition,” Raymond said calmly.
“Yes… but I am the alpha, I can rule that tradition out of the book,” I said.
Raymond’s face hardened. He stood up and stormed toward me. His hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt as he pulled me up to his level.
“Haven’t you caused enough trouble, bitch? You will do as we say and fix what you broke.”
His voice was coarse, hot on my cheek.
“Raymond, calm down! Leave the girl alone!” Edna protested.
With all his strength he threw me back into the couch and I sat back down. I tried not to show it but my heart was racing and I was scared. Raymond was a large man, akin to a bear. If we wanted to, he could’ve thrown me into the wall and broken through it.
“Roman, I hoped I didn’t have to make it explicitly clear but
That night Khai’s bedroom was cleared and they only left the mattress. The room was as bare as carcasses my brothers and I left stripped of any flesh after a hunt. His smell went along with everything and all I could smell was the stench of cigarettes, old, from when Khai used to smoke as a teenager.The room was to be the main room of mourning. Whitney, Edna, Yolanda, Audrey and I sat in there with scarves covering our heads and the longest dresses and skirts we could find. Tradition was the reason for everything lately. We were supposed to sit there and mourn until the sun came up and the funeral began.I didn't want to do it, it sounded miserable. But then I realized I was nowhere above misery and I was the one who spent days with a corpse in bed, pretending and hoping he would wake up and call it all some foul joke. That never happened.Although I wasn’t officially a widow I was considered one. We never got down to tying the knot but his ring hun
The hours went by and people stopped coming. Most must’ve been sleeping but I could hear them outside, mourning and crying, their whispers like the wind whistling through leaves.Before I could notice, Edna had curled into a ball and fallen asleep. Yolanda said she was going to the bathroom, but she never returned for a very long time. Audrey and I sat in silence for 20 minutes, just staring off into the darkness and the shadows that danced along with the candle flames.“She’s with Jacob, you know?” Audrey mentioned matter-of-factly.I looked over at her and her face was deepened by shadows, the crevices of her smile were like dark corners. The statement didn’t surprise me – rather I was absorbed in the atmosphere of everything. How dark and gloomy everything had gotten, how everybody’s smiles had turned into tears and clenched teeth. It only took a single moment.“How has this affected you?” I asked her.The question scared me at first, I was afraid she would give me something intell
A blur turned into a man with long hair, hunched forward, his back to me. His shoulders moved up and down as he sat on the other end of the mattress. Sunlight poured into the room and it was warm.“What do you want Malcolm?”“Alpha,” he said dully. I groaned.“Please don’t call me that.”“Thank you, I wasn’t enjoying it.” He simply said.We were alone in the room, Edna and Audrey must’ve left for breakfast or something. A little tingle in my stomach made me desperately want to see his face.“Hey look at me,” I told him and he adjusted his weight.His hair was wet, dripping still and parted in the middle. He looked clean, it suited him to be clean.“Why do you keep long hair, you look like a songwriter,” I said.A small smile etched upon his face and I had no idea why it felt good. I hated it.On the other hand, my arms felt like they had been squeezed into immobility and my body was heavy. My nose was runny and I sniffled. I had been lying on one side the whole night, crying in my sle
When we were out of sight he loosened his grip on me. My hand quickly found its way to his and I held it tight. I couldn’t let go of the warmth, even for a second. I still allowed my mind to play tricks on me. If I did not look at him and imagine his voice as Khai’s he would be Khai.“You can’t do that type of stuff. It’s traumatising,” he said.I knew it was wrong. I did not doubt it but I didn’t care.His other free hand ran down his face. He looked tired and sleepless. The bags under his eyes were swollen, and red cracked through the whites of his eyes. Had he not slept? I looked away from him, to the trees and anything else that would allow me to swap him out with who I wanted him to be.“That’s why we have to look at him before they shut the casket. It prevents such things.”Leaves crunched under his boots and my heels. My ankles and toes hurt.It was insane how it hadn’t been a complete year since I met Khai. I met him in winter and lost him before winter. I let go of his hand. H
Malcolm decided to return to the funeral with a busted nose and lips. I waited on the porch for the guard dogs to appear. They said that as soon as Khai was buried we would get to go.Nothing else mattered but my vengeance, nothing at all. There was no after. I couldn’t imagine it and if I died killing all the Azraels I would be satisfied, I would’ve achieved my life’s purpose.A couple of wolves… Ten? No fifteen. Twenty-seven? Thirty! Thirty, to be exact broke out of the forest, ravenous and ready to fight. Traga guard dogs. Slightly bigger than other wolves and their legs showed that they spent their time fighting and running. These were strong wolves. I almost felt pride when I saw them coming in, if no one knew – they would’ve thought they were wild wolves.I got to my feet as family members and other Tragas came back to the house in their human forms. Hannah ran to my side.“You don’t have to do this. You’re the alpha, send them out instead. You stay.”Vomit bubbled in the back o
The world was red as I backed away, trying to shake the blood off my face. Intiyago walked slowly toward me. Prowling, Ravenous and angry but his eyes – his eyes were sympathetic.Roman, this is not what I want. His voice was soft in my head. He stopped in his tracks, his head lowered down and he licked drops of my blood which had fallen on a rock.No.But it was too late, his pink tongue wiped the rock clean and his eyes surged with a golden glow. A menacing growl ripped out of him.This is what I want!His voice was heavy again, dark and sharp. The sun healed the scratch and I could see properly again. I charged toward him and clawed at his face. Claw after claw I saw blood and more blood until his face was disfigured. He howled and jumped to the side where he rammed me into a tree. The impact almost broke my ribs but I got back up and gave him everything I had. I rammed him into the other tree and bit into his arm so hard I hit his bone.The painful howl he screamed satisfied me i
The guard dogs ran ahead of me, howling in celebration. I turned my head away from the corpses and tried to convince myself I was walking back from somewhere else. But I couldn’t forget what I did, not while I had his skull in my mouth.The howls filled the air all the way back to Traga land. Outside the house many wolves in their human forms had gathered, ready to receive us. They were so excited to see us, cheering and joyful that the reign of Azraels was finally over. I placed Intiyago’s head in the middle of the garden and everyone erupted in joy.Where was my joy, I wondered. I couldn’t feel a thing.Intiyago haunted me for so long, made my life a living hell and now that I had ended him I felt no joy nor sense of completion. I entered the house and phased into a human in the kitchen.My behavior offset them but they continued to cheer and celebrate outside, hoisting Intiyago’s head and parading around with it. The house was e
My paws pounded against the snow. Prints of blood followed behind– my heart doing the same against my chest. Fear on my tail, and what it had done to me was enough to have anyone running for their life. It had ripped everything I cared about from my grasp and left me to watch. For the first time, tears ran down my furry face and my chest tightened as the wind forced itself against me. The world became a blur of saltwater in my eyes. The distance I had been running exceeded my usual.I wanted to live, needed to live but grief was heavy on my shoulders. My muscles couldn’t take it, they burned like a candle to skin. I wanted to stop and breathe, grieve, cry. Breathe! But blood-thirsty growls reminded by burning legs – run!Hungry growls grew louder, jagged in impatience. I wouldn't let them catch up, I didn’t win races since I was young for nothing. I couldn’t fight or shed blood but I could run.My mother's words echoed in my mind as I kept on doing what she had been telling me. Run. J
The guard dogs ran ahead of me, howling in celebration. I turned my head away from the corpses and tried to convince myself I was walking back from somewhere else. But I couldn’t forget what I did, not while I had his skull in my mouth.The howls filled the air all the way back to Traga land. Outside the house many wolves in their human forms had gathered, ready to receive us. They were so excited to see us, cheering and joyful that the reign of Azraels was finally over. I placed Intiyago’s head in the middle of the garden and everyone erupted in joy.Where was my joy, I wondered. I couldn’t feel a thing.Intiyago haunted me for so long, made my life a living hell and now that I had ended him I felt no joy nor sense of completion. I entered the house and phased into a human in the kitchen.My behavior offset them but they continued to cheer and celebrate outside, hoisting Intiyago’s head and parading around with it. The house was e
The world was red as I backed away, trying to shake the blood off my face. Intiyago walked slowly toward me. Prowling, Ravenous and angry but his eyes – his eyes were sympathetic.Roman, this is not what I want. His voice was soft in my head. He stopped in his tracks, his head lowered down and he licked drops of my blood which had fallen on a rock.No.But it was too late, his pink tongue wiped the rock clean and his eyes surged with a golden glow. A menacing growl ripped out of him.This is what I want!His voice was heavy again, dark and sharp. The sun healed the scratch and I could see properly again. I charged toward him and clawed at his face. Claw after claw I saw blood and more blood until his face was disfigured. He howled and jumped to the side where he rammed me into a tree. The impact almost broke my ribs but I got back up and gave him everything I had. I rammed him into the other tree and bit into his arm so hard I hit his bone.The painful howl he screamed satisfied me i
Malcolm decided to return to the funeral with a busted nose and lips. I waited on the porch for the guard dogs to appear. They said that as soon as Khai was buried we would get to go.Nothing else mattered but my vengeance, nothing at all. There was no after. I couldn’t imagine it and if I died killing all the Azraels I would be satisfied, I would’ve achieved my life’s purpose.A couple of wolves… Ten? No fifteen. Twenty-seven? Thirty! Thirty, to be exact broke out of the forest, ravenous and ready to fight. Traga guard dogs. Slightly bigger than other wolves and their legs showed that they spent their time fighting and running. These were strong wolves. I almost felt pride when I saw them coming in, if no one knew – they would’ve thought they were wild wolves.I got to my feet as family members and other Tragas came back to the house in their human forms. Hannah ran to my side.“You don’t have to do this. You’re the alpha, send them out instead. You stay.”Vomit bubbled in the back o
When we were out of sight he loosened his grip on me. My hand quickly found its way to his and I held it tight. I couldn’t let go of the warmth, even for a second. I still allowed my mind to play tricks on me. If I did not look at him and imagine his voice as Khai’s he would be Khai.“You can’t do that type of stuff. It’s traumatising,” he said.I knew it was wrong. I did not doubt it but I didn’t care.His other free hand ran down his face. He looked tired and sleepless. The bags under his eyes were swollen, and red cracked through the whites of his eyes. Had he not slept? I looked away from him, to the trees and anything else that would allow me to swap him out with who I wanted him to be.“That’s why we have to look at him before they shut the casket. It prevents such things.”Leaves crunched under his boots and my heels. My ankles and toes hurt.It was insane how it hadn’t been a complete year since I met Khai. I met him in winter and lost him before winter. I let go of his hand. H
A blur turned into a man with long hair, hunched forward, his back to me. His shoulders moved up and down as he sat on the other end of the mattress. Sunlight poured into the room and it was warm.“What do you want Malcolm?”“Alpha,” he said dully. I groaned.“Please don’t call me that.”“Thank you, I wasn’t enjoying it.” He simply said.We were alone in the room, Edna and Audrey must’ve left for breakfast or something. A little tingle in my stomach made me desperately want to see his face.“Hey look at me,” I told him and he adjusted his weight.His hair was wet, dripping still and parted in the middle. He looked clean, it suited him to be clean.“Why do you keep long hair, you look like a songwriter,” I said.A small smile etched upon his face and I had no idea why it felt good. I hated it.On the other hand, my arms felt like they had been squeezed into immobility and my body was heavy. My nose was runny and I sniffled. I had been lying on one side the whole night, crying in my sle
The hours went by and people stopped coming. Most must’ve been sleeping but I could hear them outside, mourning and crying, their whispers like the wind whistling through leaves.Before I could notice, Edna had curled into a ball and fallen asleep. Yolanda said she was going to the bathroom, but she never returned for a very long time. Audrey and I sat in silence for 20 minutes, just staring off into the darkness and the shadows that danced along with the candle flames.“She’s with Jacob, you know?” Audrey mentioned matter-of-factly.I looked over at her and her face was deepened by shadows, the crevices of her smile were like dark corners. The statement didn’t surprise me – rather I was absorbed in the atmosphere of everything. How dark and gloomy everything had gotten, how everybody’s smiles had turned into tears and clenched teeth. It only took a single moment.“How has this affected you?” I asked her.The question scared me at first, I was afraid she would give me something intell
That night Khai’s bedroom was cleared and they only left the mattress. The room was as bare as carcasses my brothers and I left stripped of any flesh after a hunt. His smell went along with everything and all I could smell was the stench of cigarettes, old, from when Khai used to smoke as a teenager.The room was to be the main room of mourning. Whitney, Edna, Yolanda, Audrey and I sat in there with scarves covering our heads and the longest dresses and skirts we could find. Tradition was the reason for everything lately. We were supposed to sit there and mourn until the sun came up and the funeral began.I didn't want to do it, it sounded miserable. But then I realized I was nowhere above misery and I was the one who spent days with a corpse in bed, pretending and hoping he would wake up and call it all some foul joke. That never happened.Although I wasn’t officially a widow I was considered one. We never got down to tying the knot but his ring hun
Malcolm’s eyes fell on me, cold and stern.“This is not Malcolm’s idea, it is simply tradition,” Raymond said calmly.“Yes… but I am the alpha, I can rule that tradition out of the book,” I said.Raymond’s face hardened. He stood up and stormed toward me. His hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt as he pulled me up to his level.“Haven’t you caused enough trouble, bitch? You will do as we say and fix what you broke.”His voice was coarse, hot on my cheek.“Raymond, calm down! Leave the girl alone!” Edna protested.With all his strength he threw me back into the couch and I sat back down. I tried not to show it but my heart was racing and I was scared. Raymond was a large man, akin to a bear. If we wanted to, he could’ve thrown me into the wall and broken through it.“Roman, I hoped I didn’t have to make it explicitly clear but
Before I could get to know Audrey better Yolanda came to call us. Yolanda and Audrey’s relationship was characterized by brutal teasing, nothing was off the table. Yolanda only needed to say a sentence before Audrey criticised it.“Where did you pick up that atrocious accent?” Audrey asked as we walked down the hallway.At the first step, Yolanda tittered.“Must’ve been from those years when you tutored me. Heads up, read a book before you think you can lecture someone.”“I love to see you taking initiative, I didn’t know you could read.”The two giggled between each other. I didn’t know how to feel about the jokes though, since I couldn’t read.It never mattered if I could read or not back home, what advantage would such a skill afford a culture of people who hardly read? School didn’t exist either, at least in the formal sense. All older wolves saw it as their responsibility to educate those who were younger than them. One morning I’d find myself hunting with my father and the next,