Breathing

Asher's POV

I did not wait for my mother to dismiss me. The moment she turned her attention back to my father, I was already moving.

The second I stepped out of the room, I bolted. My feet moved faster than my thoughts.My mother’s words still echoed in my mind, but they were drowned out by the single, overwhelming need to see her.

Bella!

My heart thundered in my chest as I made my way across the grounds, pushing past startled omegas, ignoring the startled glances.

By the time I reached the dorm wing, my breath was ragged, not from the run, but from everything else pressing against my ribs. I did not knock when I reached her shared room.

I just pushed the door open and stood there, just…watching her.

She was sitting cross legged on the floor, surrounded by scattered books and papers, her brows slightly furrowed as she tried to make sense of the chaos maybe or sort them out.

Her hair had come undone a little, a soft strand falling across her cheek. There was something painfully normal about it…this quiet, ordinary moment…and yet it hit me like a punch to the gut.

There were others in the room…two or three girls, maybe an omega or two lingering…but as I took a step in, something in my gaze must have told them not to stay. They froze… then quickly gathered their things and slipped out, not saying a word.

I did not look at them twice. I could not look away from her.

Her fingers were tracing the spine of one fat book as if lost in thought. The soft light from the window caught the gold in her hair, the sharp angles of her face softened in concentration. She had not noticed me yet.

I did not give her the chance.In three strides, I was across the room. Her head snapped up just as my hands closed around her waist, lifting her effortlessly off the ground. A startled laugh escaped her. It was bright and breathless and her hands instinctively braced against my shoulders.

“Ash…!” She gasped.

Gosh! I loved when she called my name like that.

For a second, I let myself revel in the sound, in the warmth of her body against mine. But then I set her down, my grip shifting to her shoulders, holding her firmly in place.

Her laughter faded.

I did not laugh. I did not speak. I just held her…too tightly, too fiercely…like I was afraid if I let go, everything I had just barely managed to keep from breaking would finally shatter.She stilled in my arms, her smile faltering as she felt it. The tremble in my hands. The tension in my body.

Her own hands slowly slid down from my shoulders to my chest, pressing against me as she leaned back just enough to look into my face.

Her eyes…Oh Goddess, her eyes…searched mine, wide and questioning. The playful amusement was gone,something that made my pulse hammer against my ribs.

I wanted to tell her.

Everything.

But the words lodged in my throat…That I believed in her.My fingers tightened on her shoulders, just shy of pain. She did not pull away. Did not flinch. Just held my gaze, her breathing shallow, lips slightly parted.

The silence between us was deafening.

I could see the shift in her expression…the way her pulse jumped at her throat, the way her fingers curled into the fabric of my shirt, like she was afraid I might vanish if she let go.

And then…

A flicker of understanding ??? And her breath hitched.

Because she knew?

She knew what I could not say???Knew the war raging inside me???

The Alpha who had to be strong, the man who just wanted to burn the world down for her… yet… there was a world between the two of us.

My jaw clenched.

Her fingers loosened, sliding further down my chest, resting just over my heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Too fast. Too loud.

I exhaled sharply, my grip on her shoulders easing, but I did not let go.Her lips moved, as if she wanted to speak, but no sound came out.

Good.

Because if she said anything right now, I was not sure I could stop myself from…

The door creaked.

We both stiffened. It was just wind… but we both knew that we did not want to be ‘ seen’. Or maybe it was just me…

Reality crashed back in.

I dropped my hands, stepping back but then instantly leaned in just a fraction, and so did she. The space between us shrank until it barely existed.

But I did not kiss her.

I pressed my forehead to hers. It was the closest I could come to letting myself fall.

Her hands slid up, cradling the sides of my face now, her fingers threading into my hair. We stayed like that…no words, no movement, just the sound of our breaths and the storm between our chests.

It was the most intimate silence I had ever known.

And then I had to finally murder the moment.

“ Bella… ”

“ Hhhmmm” She hummed, eyes closed.

“ I… I came to talk about something important.”

“ Yes… ” Her forehead was pressed against my chest at the moment, her eyes still closed, while she fidgeted with my sleeves.

I was already forgetting what I was saying. All I wanted to do was pick her up and take her to my room… throw her on my bed and then…

“ I, umm, I haven't yet assigned you any formal role, did I? ” My spit was becoming excessively sticky… and my thirst was making my entire body hot…

“ No, you did not. ” She finally looked up, lifting her head. Thank goodness for that. I heaved heavily. “ Is there a problem? ”

“ No there is none. Since the birthday celebration already got cancelled, I thought I might get some work done. Starting with you. After your exceptional showcase of medicinal skills, I am glad and proud to proclaim that you will henceforth lead the infirmary wing. I hand over the burden of taking care of our ailing and sick to you, Bella. Take care of my pack for me, please. ”