Chapter 5 - Memories

I wake up the next morning to bright light blaring into my face. Holding my hands up to shield my eyes from the light, I realise that I’m back in my bedroom. Still in my clothes from last night and a soft fluffy blanket draped over the top of me. Lilith must have managed to get me upstairs last night.

My head is pounding recalling the details of our conversation last night. Somehow I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. So much of my life has been lived completely in the dark. Not really knowing who my parents were or where I came from. And now I know. Not only am I Hunter and a half demon, but I am also bound to another person and I am a royal fire wielding kick arse hunter.

It was a lot to take in, but it felt right to me, I wasn’t scared of the information. I guess a part of me always new the truth, I just couldn’t remember. I couldn’t remember Lucas, how could I have ever forgotten about him. My heart aches just at the thought of him. I can feel it in my chest, an invisible string which snapped long ago, searching in dark for a connection that is now lost.

I realise that after I have learnt everything I can from Lilith, my next point of call is to find Lucas. Every fibre of me is calling out to him wanting him near. Yes I would find him, I will find him and free him from the darkness that surrounds him. The boy with the blue eyes floating before my eyes smiling. Surely he couldn’t be a lost cause?

Taking a deep breath I get up out of bed and make my way into the small bathroom. I was in desperate need of a long hot shower. I undress quickly and turn the water of full blast, pleased to find the water steamed up instantly. With all the old pipes running through thus house I was expecting to wait a while, but I guess having a witch under the same roof had its perks.

I stood enjoying the warmth soaking through my body when all of a sudden my neck started burning like crazy. It felt like someone was holding a brandishing iron against my skin.

I stumble from the shower and looking over my shoulder state at the spot on the back of my neck where my Hunters mark was placed. Holding the basin in front of me with an iron clad grasp, I watched in fascination as the snake around the crossed swords began to slither away down my spine, it began moving in different directions, turning this way and that, leaving behind a blood red trail in its wake. I watch in horror as the final image came into view, a large pentagram sat in between my shoulder blades. The snakes head at the very top of the star in tongue stuck out tasting the air around it. And just above that the two cross swords that were the remanence from my hunters mark. I look in fascination at the new markings across my back, the held a certain element of beauty. Reaching out gingerly, I touch the tip of one point of the star and grimace in pain. The edge was raw and charred where the snakes red hot body now sat entwined. The mark had been burnt onto my skin.

I spend the next hour pacing my bedroom, I needed to get some air, to try and make sense of what has just happened. I make my way outside and set off in the direction of the woods around the back of the property. Its quite here. The only noise is coming from the rustling branches of the trees above me. I head out blindly not really knowing where I was going, just enjoying the fresh air and dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy.

I have no idea how long I have been walking but I find myself in a clearing. A sense of unease washes over me and I know something bad happened here. I doesn’t take me long to work it out. Before me is scorched area of grass. There was a fire here, long ago. Walking over the charred earth, the smell of smoke long since disappeared. In fact small saplings had started to appear protruding from the dead ground. A sign that mother nature was taking back what was hers. Other than a few charred timbers and fallen stones there was nothing left of what would have been someone’s home. My home.

A kneel on the ground, my hands lying flat on the blackened earth. My vision going blurry with unshed tears as I realise what this place was once. I place my hand to my cheeks as the first tear falls from my eyes. I watch in awe as it slips from my finger tip and hits the ground. My newly acquired mark on my back began to heat painfully against my skin, my vision clouding and a deafening scream rings out through my head. I can feel the mark on my back flare with heat and my head feels as if it will split into two. The feel of flames snake there way through my body and into my mind, I hold my head as the noise continues. The ruined home disappears from view and is replaced with a beautiful country cottage. Not unlike Lilith’s, only this one is slightly smaller. Children’s toys litter the front garden and a beautiful Wisteria winds its way over the front porch. It smells divine, it’s sweet fragrance lingering in on the summer breeze.

Laughter echo’s around the clearing and my head snaps to the source of the noise. A young girl comes into view, black hair streaming out behind her as she runs. Her body wasn’t solid as it should be if it wasn't a solid person in front of me, instead it held a ghostly appearance. An older woman run into the clearing, chasing the younger. “I’m coming to get you!” The woman calls out. The little girl is giggling uncontrollably, it's contagious. The girl was the spitting image of the older woman. It was obvious they were mother and daughter. They each had long black hair and long elegant nose, the same chocolate brown eyes and full smile. This was me and my Mum.

I watch on with interest, rooted to the spot, neither being able to move or make a sound. My Mum catches up with me and pulls me to the floor.

“Gotcha!” she cried out triumphantly and tickling the younger me.

“Mummy stop!” she giggles rolling around in the lush green grass.

My young self escapes the grasp of her Mum and starts to run toward the house when there is a loud bang in the distance. The earth shakes underneath my feet and windows rattle in the window frames. I look behind me in the direction on Lilith’s house. I see nothing but blue sky, but its obvious that my Mum is scared. Her beautiful smile turns down into a look of fear.

“Avalon,” she cries out. “Get inside now.” She sprints towards the young me and lifts her up into her arms. I look up into her face, fear reflects back into my own features as she sprints indoors, slamming the front door behind her. There is an audible click of the lock being pushed into place, before the scene dissolves and changes.

I am now in a dark room. The only light coming from a small window at the top of one wall. I’m in a basement I realise. Heavily footfall sounds above me, and a door swings open at the top the basement stairs. My mother, carrying me in her arms, come into view. I'm holding my mother in a death grip around her neck and sobbing into her hair.

Mother rushes down the stairs, she pulls a large shelf of racking to one side revealing a small door behind it hardly large enough to hold me let alone her as well.

“Baby, baby,” my mother says in a rushed voice, she tries to keep her voice even so as not to scare me further. “Baby I need you to listen to me OK, listen carefully.” I nod tears still streaming down my face. “I need you stay here, and I need you to be really quite for me baby. Do you think you can do that for me?”

“Yes Mummy,” my small voice managed to say over the sobs. Even at the age of 10 I could hear the determination in my voice. My mother kisses me on the forehead before opening the little door and guiding me in. I have to crouch down on to all four to fit. I sit pulling me knees into my chest and hugging them tightly.

“OK baby, remember you have to be as quite as a mouse. Don’t come out until Mummy comes to get you OK?”

“OK Mummy.” I sniff back.

“Good girl.” My mother leans forward and places a kiss to my forehead and holds a hand to my cheek. “I love you baby never forget.” By now her own tears are streaming down her face. She closes the door on me and pulls the racking back across concealing my hiding spot.

Stepping back she hold a hand over her mouth trying to suppress the sobs forming in her throat. There are shouts from outside. And banging against the front door. Someone is trying to nock the door down.

My mother takes a steadying breath and wipe her eyes dry. She makes her way back up the stairs. I try to follow but my feet won’t allow me too.

A final bang and the front door comes crashing down. There are muffled noises of whoever was attacking us filters into the house.

After a moment I hear my mother start to talk.

“Lucien, why are you here?” She sounds strong, no evidence of fear in her voice.

“You know why I’m here sister.” The man, Lucien replies. “Where is the girl?” he asks, his voice a sneer.

“Somewhere far away brother, somewhere you will never find her.” My mother replies. Each word came out with more conviction.

“Well in that case I have no more use for you. Goodbye sister” With that there was a deafening crack which seemed reverberate around the house. Then, silence. I stood waiting, my breathing laboured, waiting for something to happen, for my mother to appear or for the man to come and take me away. After a while bird song could be heard in from the other side of the wall. I had no idea how long I was stood there for but they had gone. I look back to place that I was hidden, wishing I could go to my young self and hold her knowing that she is scared and alone. Yet I cannot move. More tears slip from my eyes. I have just witnessed my mother’s murder. Not first hand, but as I saw it as a girl. My now crucially, I knew my mother murders name. My Uncle; Lucien St Ledger.

My scene once again dissolving in front of me, I find myself back outside, staring at the little cottage in the woods. The beautiful green door splintered from its hinges. Its quite, deafeningly so. By now I’m full blown sobbing, after a while a figure comes into view from the far side of the clearing. As he comes closer his features become more pronounced, an angry red wound sits proudly across his face, weeping blood. The cut was fresh and deep. I realise this is Darren. He looks younger than what I remember , no grey hairs or wrinkles on his face, but I am certain it is him. He disappears into the house. He soon reappears holding me in his arms. I am fighting against him.

“Let me go, let me go!” I shout at him my little fists hitting his shoulder over and over again. “Mummy told me I wasn’t allowed to leave until she came for me! Let me go!” Darren, obviously had little patience for a little girls drama, dropping me to the ground with a hard thud.

“Your Mum is gone Avalon, she is dead.” His eyes looked fierce as he stared down at the little girl in front of him. “You come with me now, or you will soon follow.” He spared no expense for my feelings, not caring that I had just lost my Mum and unbeknown to me, my Dad. It was his fault. Yet he didn’t even try to sugar coat the truth from my little mind, no, to him tough love made you stronger.

“I want my Mummy!” I scream at him “Lucas! Where is Lucas!” I continue to demand of the very annoyed looking Darren. I watch as my body starts to shake, from head to toe my whole body vibrates. The air around my skin starts to go buzz with energy. I feeling I had come know all too well recently. Before long my small body is consumed with by fire. Letting out an ear piercing scream, loud enough to make milk curdle. Before I know what’s happening the little cottage goes up in flames. Darren swings about in shock, not knowing what to do. He looks between the screaming girl and the raging fire a few meters away.

He seems to make decision, his body going ridged. A moment later the screaming stops, the fire dying down until it completely disappears, a glazed look crossing my features. Darren picks me up easily with no resistance before heading back towards the tree line. He had somehow managed to take over control of me. He doesn’t look back at the burning house as he leaves.

The memory soon faded out , finding myself still on my knees in the middle of the burnt clearing, reeling from what I have just seen. My face wet with tears that I had not realised had been following. For the first time since Darren took me from this place, my heart broke over the loss of my mother. Every moment of sorrow came rushing back to me, it was almost to hard to breath. I let out a heart breaking cry. Distant birds crying with me as I release years of repressed pain and tears. I crawl up into a ball and just let myself feel it all, the while time my tears rolling onto the patched ground below me. I cry until, finally there is nothing left in me to cry out.