Chapter 3: Change part 2

Amari POV:

Last night I couldn't sleep. A man kept screaming in the early morning to be let out. I cried during the whole night. I'm stuck here and my parents haven't tried to come rescue me. I don't even know where I am. I just want to go home. I'm still chained to the bedpost like a sad dog. I have no more tears left to cry over after this

Sounds of locks being unlocked are heard before the door swings open

"You a menace little lady," a male voice says. He comes to sit next to my bed in a wheelie chair. I don't say anything I just turn and I stare at him.

"Well darling all you have to do is behave and take your medication and in no time you'll be out of this place free to go," he says tapping a syringe filled with a strange liquid. He brings it close to me and I try to get out of the chains away from him but it's useless 

"Calm down darling, it will all be over soon," he says rolling up my sleeve and injecting me with the syringe. I don't scream and I don't cry I mean what can I do...I'm going crazy... I deserve to be here.

"That wasn't too bad. After a couple of minutes, someone will come to uncuff you. Breakfast is at 8 every day" he gets up and walks to the door. He closes it shut making sure to lock it as well.

Like promised after a few minutes someone comes in and starts uncuffing me. They drag me out of the room without saying anything. They walk me down a passage and into another passage. After walking for what feels like days we reach a glass door where other kids younger and older than me sit eating on the other side. The person unlocks the door with their key card allowing me in and I start walking in. As soon as the last strand of my hair passed the door he shut it making me jump forward in freight 

Walking in I get stares from a few people here and there

"Hey new girl " a girl with pink hair calls me over. Walking slowly towards her she ushers me to sit down

"How you doing," she says handing me a boloney sandwich. I remove the cling wrap taking out one half. My mouth starts watering and I shove it in my mouth not even caring about table manners.

"Easy there before you choke " she chuckles

"Sorry I haven't eaten since yesterday at lunch break " I chuckle wiping any crumbs on my mouth 

"Understandable," she says handing me a can of Sprite. I  pause eyeing it before I take it from her. Popping the can open I start gulping the drink down. I didn't realize how thirsty I was until now 

"My name's Bella, what's yours? " She asked handing me a napkin as I let out a burp 

"My name's Amari" Taking the napkin I wipe my hands clean.

"What you in here for Amari" I pause to look at her not knowing how to answer

"I'll tell you first well...I stole my mom's valuable jewelry and I bought 5 pills of Xanax and 2 lines of coke. I was dumb enough to use them all at once, next minute I woke up in a hospital room.... a few days later I got discharged but I didn't go home instead my driver dropped me off here " she shrugs taking a bite of her sandwich

"How long have you been in here for " I ask drinking more of the Sprite

"2 years," she says and I spit my drink out

"Sorry what " I gasped wiping my mouth with my sleeve

"Yeah two long fucking years, shit sorry I mean jeez " she faces palms her forehead at her use of curse words in front of me

"It's okay " I giggle and she smiles

"So what you in here for and how old are you " she asked taking a sip of her can of Coke 

"I'm 9 and schizophrenic. I don't know why I'm here but maybe it's because I strangled my boy best friend with my lunch bag thinking he was a bully. I stabbed a nurse here with a metal object when I blacked out. I also suffocated a nurse here with a pillow cause she shoved my face in it and I couldn't breathe" I sigh thinking about all that's happened so far 

"Dammmnn that's dark " she chuckles after a beat of silence 

"I am going to be here forever" I sob into my sleeves

"Well not forever just for a long time " She shrugs and I sob even more

"Don't worry I'll do some crazy shit too so that I'll stay here longer for you " she says placing my hand on my Sprite can and grabbing her Coke can making us 'cheers' the sides.

"You don't have to do that, " I say putting the can down

"I came here when I was 14. I'm turning 16 in a couple of days what do I have to lose? I mean if I walk out those doors I'll probably relapse and come back in here" she says showing me her wrists which have cuts all over them. My eyes widen and she hums 

"Yep I did that to myself," she says rolling down her sleeves

"But I'm getting better," she says as she opens up a bag of crisps.

Looking at her she doesn't look like she's getting any better and I can't help but fear this place even more.

Grabbing a bag of salted crisps I open the bag taking a crisp out one by one and shoving it in my mouth I start violently chewing them.

"I would go easy if I was you, you don't want them injecting you with god knows what is in those syringes " she pinches me hard and I snap out of my trance. Looking around the guards scan the whole

"Thanks," I say whilst spitting out the chips from my mouth into a napkin. Bella gasps looking at her I look at her gaze, the chips I was chewing are all covered in blood

"Open your mouth" and I do so, she gasps even more

"Amari drink some Sprite, your whole mouth has blood. How did you.... fuck okay doesn't matter but drink up " she hands me another can of coke. Opening it I start drinking it making sure it goes around my mouth. I open my mouth wide for Bella to see and she puts a thumbs up.

"You're not in pain," she asked and I shook my head

"Uhm no, not that I know of " I shrug

"That's pretty cool, I wish I didn't feel pain like you," she says rubbing her wrists through her sleeves. 

"Soo Amari do you have a crush, a boyfriend, or a hot brother" she winks and I slap her shoulder. We both chuckle 

"I am an only child and well I have a crush well boyfriend," I say pulling my sleeves down

"No, you have to tell me who is he and how you met," She says using her fingers as a drum roll on the table 

"Uhm well, I don't know how old he is. I don't know what he looks like and I don't know what his name is but one day I was resting on my bed about to sleep. He came barging in through my window and we started getting to know each other " I blush shrugging and I look at her to see her reaction.

She looks at me with a blank expression after a few seconds her eyebrows frown.

"Uhm Amari could he be...I don't know maybe you imagined him " she says looking down

"No, he's not! I saw him I felt him touch me. I'm tired of people thinking I'm crazy. I am not crazy! I did not imagine any of it " I scream 

"Amari stop" Bella yells at this point she's on the floor in a corner with her hands in the air shielding herself from me. Looking at my hands I have a plastic fork in each hand.

Gasping I drop the forks at the same time two guards grab hold of me and drag me away.

"Bella I'm sorry I didn't mean to" I cry out while they drag me to my room. They open the door and they throw me in. One guard pins me down on the bed whilst the other cuffs me to the bedpost. I kick and scream but they don't listen to me. They finish chaining me and then a doctor comes rushing in with a syringe 

I am not sick...I am having a bad reaction to the meds. I was fine a year ago. I was fine when he was still around. I was fine when he was still in my life.

Looking at the ceiling tears run down my face staining the sheets. I miss my old life.  I miss the girl I was.

"I am a child I don't deserve this I did nothing wrong" I scream out as I pull on my restraints but no one hears me and no one cares

"Let me out, I did nothing wrong " I groan pulling and kicking

"I am sorry, Bella " I yell

"I didn't mean to, it's the meds" I whisper out sobbing and now my throat burns.

After a few minutes, I started feeling completely numb

I did the maths. 9 more years until I'm happy. 9 more years and he'll come for me. I'll be good and I'll behave until I get out. I'll do everything in my power to keep our promise  

"I'll change, I'll do anything " I cry out. He'll love me I know he will. I'll get better for him I promise.

"He's my world" I chuckle 

"Did you hear me Shadow man? You are my world" I cackle out

"Shut the fuck up "someone yells through the walls

"Keep it down," a guard says banging at our doors

"I want Shadow. He'll fix me. He knows how" I cry out. He knows how. He knows how 

A doctor comes barging into the room with another syringe in his hands and a nurse follows close behind

"Sir, she's too young for 2 dosages between 2 hours," the nurse says panicking

"Shut up. She is clearly having episodes and she needs an extra," he says tapping it. The nurse keeps quiet and he injects me. My eyes widen and I start shaking violently

"Oh fuck" the doctor says trying to feel my pulse but vomit starts coming out of my mouth

"Oh my god, doctor she's having a seizure" the nurse panics 

"Fuck I'm going to lose my job," the doctor says. The nurse tries to make me sit up as he paces the room. The nurse unties my hands out of panic and I let out a smile 

"Sike" I sit there laughing. The doctor looks  at me with an angry expression but the nurse hides a bit of a chuckle

"Don't give the child two dosages doctor" I say in between giggles

"Fuck you " the doctor spits out

"You said a bad word, " I say tearing up

"Sir, she's a child why would you say that," the nurse says as she brings me in for a hug. I pull the middle finger up for the doctor whilst the nurse's back is turned. He gasps doing it back at the same time the nurse turns around

"Sir why are you being so childish" she scowls grabbing the sheets with vomit and taking them out of my room.

I learned a while back that I can make myself vomit on command it's one of the side effects of the medication I take.

"You brat " the doctor growls at me

"I haven't played with those in a long time " I pout and he rolls his eyes

"So when's lunch I kinda lost mine," I say pointing at my gown which still has yep the you know on it. Looking down he gags

"In the next 3 hours it will be lunch," he says turning around. He has his fist covering his mouth so he doesn't puke. The nurse comes back with clean sheets and a clean gown for me to change in.

The doctor walks out whilst I change and the nurse is too busy changing the sheets to be looking at me. Sighing I throw my old gown into the trash.

The long-sleeved gowns here are made up of the same material as the shower curtain back home 

"Okay I'm all done your bed is ready," she says standing by the door

"Thanks" With that she leaves closing and locking the door behind her. I look at the flower that is near my bed. I wonder when it got here. Picking it up I plant a kiss on it.

"He loves me " I pluck out one petal

"He loves me not " I pluck out another

"He loves me " pluck

"He loves me not " pluck

"He loves me " pluck

"He loves me not " pluck

"He loves me " pluck

"He loves me not " pluck

"He loves me " plucking out the last petal I squeal out.

I knew he loved me