The pretty boy she used to like

The car’s passing and splashing the murky water on her was the last straw of a very, very bad day. 

Great.

She was already drenched anyway: having forgotten to look at the weather forecast before leaving home that morning, she did not take an umbrella with her. When the classes were over that afternoon, she couldn’t just wait until it stopped raining. 

Manu stayed home with a fever today, and she had to check on him. That morning, he’d cried for her to stay, something he rarely (if ever) did.

This image weighed heavily on her mind through the whole day, to the point she didn’t care much about the 10th grade’s insolent behavior or the principal reminding her those kids needed to get higher scores the next semester.

‘As if that isn’t what I’m trying to do.’

But it didn’t depend only on her, and she couldn’t do miracles.

Finally, the bus that took her home reached the stop. The sudden change from the cold wind outside to the mild comfort inside the vehicle made her shudder first.

It was on rainy days like these that she wanted to have enough money to have a new car, then she wouldn’t have trouble going back home, or, like last night, they wouldn’t depend on another person’s goodwill during an emergency. It wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful for Don Ricardo’s help. The García’s friendship and their help over the past years were greatly appreciated.

‘And yet…’

And yet, what little ego she had left was crushed after encountering these situations where she couldn’t solve things by herself.

This was not the life she imagined she’d have.

Valeria descended the bus and walked the few blocks that still separated her from her house. It was drizzling now and the tiny drops of water felt fresh and cool on her cheeks.

At twenty-four, her life ought to be very different from this. Sometimes, when she ran into her old friends (people who’d stopped hanging out with her a long time ago), there was still a pang of regret hitting her hard.

Those thoughts left her mind as fast as they first came because this was the life she chose. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the life she chose, but it was what she’d gotten and after years of mourning for her naive past self, Valeria accepted that sometimes the best one could do was to acknowledge her reality and make the most of what she had.

“Hello! I’m back!”

Her mother was walking out of the kitchen when she entered the living room.

“Look at you, all wet. Go and change quickly, we don’t need two sick people at home.”

“Okay. How’s Manu?”

“Better, the fever is gone. He ate a bit earlier, and now he’s sleeping.”

Thank God.

“Thank you, mom.”

Even now, she had no right to complain, Valeria thought. No when her mom was doing so much for her. Others in her position would have straight out kicked her out, she knew this very well, but her mom didn’t. If she had enough courage to take this path was only because of the one person supporting her those years.

Taking a quick shower and changing into comfortable clothes, she sat on the bed, watching over her son who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. 

‘He’s grown so much.’ 

This realization made her feel a bit guilty. Wasn’t she supposed to be more… present in her child’s life? Wasn’t that how other mothers did? Rosa was able to tell her kid’s feats year by year, month by month. But Valeria was most of the time at work during the past months, and before that she’d divided her time between college and work for years.

Today Manu was in pain, and she could not stay either. Maybe she didn’t want to. Would she even know how to take care of him?

A light kiss on the top of his head, and then she left the bedroom without making any sound.

***

“Delicious.” Valeria praised before taking another mouthful of rice and fried plantain. “Thanks, mom.”

“Do you want more? You look tired, did you have lunch today?”

“Yes, of course.” If a couple of empanadas at noon counted… “Don’t worry. We have the school break now, so I can stay home and I’ll eat better. And when Manu gets better I’ll take him out to have fun. Then you can take a break from us, too.”

Her mother just gave her a look.

“Stop saying nonsense.” And then, she changed the topic. “This Sunday, if Manu is feeling better, let’s have lunch at the García’s house. Daniel is coming tomorrow.”

Valeria coughed and her hand tried to reach the glass of juice. Her mother passed it to her.

“How come?”

It was too early, as he usually - no, he always - visited his grandparents in August.

“I don’t know. I think he has a different job now, that’s why he has the time.” If she’d been paying more attention to her mother’s talk during the past weeks, she’d known about this, of course. “Ah, you used to get along so well when you were younger…”

Those days were long gone. Valeria sighed at this sad truth. It wasn’t as if she didn’t like Daniel anymore, but it was different… she was different.

Once upon a time, just the mention of his name or the sight of him would be enough to lighten up her world. Daniel, Don Ricardo’s grandson from the States, came only once every year but his visits were a given.

The first time he came, he was the reluctant twelve-year-old teen who didn’t really want to be there. His mother Penelope, the García’s youngest daughter, had met Daniel’s father when she was very young, and was swept off her feet by the smart-looking Mr. Kim, or maybe it was the other way around. The story usually changed depending on who was telling it. However, since Penelope married and moved away to start her family, her visits had been rare. 

Until that year, when Valeria’s mother had insisted she befriended the boy to ‘improve her English’. At first, she’d hated the idea (she wouldn’t even be studying in the language school if her mother didn’t force her to) but later he became her motivation to put effort into learning.

When she remembered how forced the first meeting felt, she’d laugh about it.

“Do you play videogames?” He’d asked.

She had shaken her head but followed with interest the screen. Back then, Super Mario was quite the novelty.

“Want to learn?” 

As soon as she had taken upon the offer, they’d sealed the deal to become friends, and although it only lasted a couple of weeks, and she was just a skinny eight-year-old child back then, but she had already known that every year those weeks would be a precious time she’d treasure.

He’d been her first crush.

He’d also been her first love, back in a time when Valeria couldn’t grasp yet what that meant.

Daniel had been this forever unattainable person because he only saw her as a little sister (at best) or like a pet that would entertain him whenever he came to spend some weeks with at his maternal home (at worst).

He was the best of those romantic dreams she once held so close to her heart.

He was her friend, perhaps the only real friend she had in the world.

He was also the only one she’d ever been able to tell her most painful truth.

Ever since then, just looking at him had become unbearable, no matter what her feelings for him had been once. Why did she tell him that? Their friendship was ruined, Valeria had come to understand that during the past months.

Now Daniel was visiting, handsome, funny Daniel, and for the first time this wasn’t the silver lining it used to be.