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2024-10-29 19:42:56Why?
Why would she do that?
I kept on asking myself the reason why Sienna would do such a cruel thing to herself.
Everybody knew her as the most bubbly and loving woman. She's a highly motivated person, you will never see her frowning, sad, or mad.
"Our condolences, Savannah," tumango lang ako, at nagpasalamat, "We never knew, this will happen soon. We're very sorry,"
"It's okay, Auntie, Mel. Puntahan nyo muna po si Mommy sa dining," sagot ko, at binigyan siya ng pilit na ngiti.
Upon hearing the shattering news, I immediately booked a flight home, good thing, mabait si Andy, at hinayaan niya akong umuwi, kahit halos malulunod na kami sa deadline ng publishing. I can't deal with this kind of pain, knowing that my sister's cold body and my grieving mother is here, waiting for me.
"Vannah, you have to eat. Hindi ka pa kumakain simula nang dumating ka, Ija. Come, I'll give you something to fill your stomach,"
"Manang Jo, I'm still full, and wala po talaga akong gana, kakain din ako mamaya. Uminom na po ako ng kape,"
Wala nang nagawa ang matanda nang sabihin ko iyon, at binigyan ako ng isang malungkot na ngiti.
Gaya ko, alam ko na nalulungkot din sya. Siya ang nag alaga samin, simula nang iniwan kami ng tatay namin. Dahil naging busy si Mom sa mga business, at kailangan niya itong mapanatili sa tuktok. Hindi ko alam na may mas sasakit pa pala sa pagkawala ng tatay ko, my heart was once shattered, but now, it's pieces vanish with the thin air.
Tumayo ako at pinagmasdan ang litrato ni Sienna na nakapaskil sa harap ng altar. Hindi hinayaan ni Mommy na ma-iburol pa siya, dahil hindi niya daw kayang makita ang anak nya na isang malamig na bangkay, nakahiga sa kabaong. Kaya naman, nag cremation na lang kami, hindi ko na siya tinanong, dahil alam ko na kung masakit sa akin, ay may masakit para sa kanya ang mga nangyayari ngayon.
Hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong naiisip na dahilan, kung bakit niya ito ginawa. Kung bakit tatapusin nya ang buhay nya, para saan? Para kanino?
I fucking hate this situation, I hope this is just a freaking dream.
Hindi na rin namin pinatagal ang lamay, matapos ang dalawang araw, dinala na namin siya sa columbarium, pinasadya ito para sa kanya.
"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the holy spirit, may your soul rest in peace, may the Lord God accept his beloved daughter to His kingdom,"
Mahihinang iyak sa paligid ang nangingibabaw, lahat ay nakaputi, nasa labas kami ng columbarium, habang binabasbasan ang labi ni Sie. Ilang beses nahimatay si Mommy, katabi naman niya ang aking mga tiyuhin at tiyahin, kaya may umaalalay sa kanya, habang ako? Hindi ko alam, walang luha na lumalabas sa mga mata ko, pero ang puso ko, durog.
"Ang immediate family lamang ang maaaring pumasok sa loob, para ilagay ang labi nang namatay,"
Medyo kalmado na si Mommy kaya nakalapit na siya sa akin, inalalayan ko siya, at sabay kaming pumasok sa loob.
Nag e-echo ang mga sapatos namin, dahil kami lang naman ang nandito. Dahan dahan ko siyang nilagay sa gitna, at tsaka isinara ang glass door na maliit.
"Anak, why would you do this? Why would you leave us both behind? Why would you do this selfish act?!" Mom was a bit histerical, pero hindi gaya kanina, mas kontrolado na niya ang emosyon ngayon, "For what?! For a man?! This is rubbish!"
Kumunot ang noo ko sa narinig ko, kaya napahinto ako, at tumingin sa kanya.
"What do you mean, mom?" Ayun agad ang lumabas sa bibig ko. My mind was vague.
"N-nothing," her eyes were everywhere.
"Mom, tell me the truth! What the hell did you just say?! For what? A man? What's the meaning of that?!"
Hindi siya sumagot agad, pero tumungo siya kasunod ang isang malalim na buntong hininga.
"Your sister," nag angat siya ng tingin, sinalubong ko ang malamlam niyang mga mata, "She commited suicide because she was broken hearted. The man she loved with all her heart broke it, and shattered it into pieces,"
Nagpantig ang tenga ko sa narinig ko, ramdam ko ang mabilis na tibok ng puso ko. Parang sasabog ang ulo ko dahil sa nalaman ko.
"She did what?! Commit suicide for a fucking man?!" Unti unting namuo ang mga luha sa mata ko, hindi sa lungkot, kung hindi sa galit na namumuo sa dibdib ko.
"Vannah, she's not as strong and willed hearted like you. She's so soft, so fragile. That man, that man she trusted, and promised to love her, iniwan siya na parang basahan, and that mess her up. Hindi siya kumakain, hindi na rin siya lumalabas ng kwarto,"
"Is that why you ask me to go home? To make sure she's okay?" Isang tango ang isinagot niya sa akin, halos malaglag na ko dahil sa panlalambot ng tuhod ko.
"I want to make sure that she's fine, alam ko na ikaw lang ang makakagawa non, she's your twin,"
Hindi na ako nagsalita matapos yon, pilit na pinapakalma ko ang sarili ko, dahil sa mga nalaman ko ngayong araw.
Tahimik kaming lumabas, ang ilan ay dumiretso pa sa bahay para magpalipas na rin ng gabi, pero hindi ko na sila pa nagawang kausapin.
Imbes na dumiretso sa kwarto ko, ay dumiretso ako sa kwarto ni Siena.
Madilim, malamig, at amoy ng lavender ang sumalubong sa akin, it was her favorite flower.
Hinanap ko ang switch ng ilaw, malinis ang kwarto niya. Mula sa pink na kama, mga stuff toys, pink blinds, white vanity mirror, rugs, at walk in closet, siguro ay si Mommy ang naglinis, dahil makalat sa gamit si Sie, sa kanya napapagod si Mommy.
Dumiretso ako sa displays niya ng mga awards, pictures, medals, tropphy, at kung ano ano pa na napanalunan niya. Her smile is contagious. Hindi ko inaasahan, ni sa panaginip, na sa ganitong paraan kami magkakahiwalay.
Umupo ako sa study table niya. Nakaayos ang ilan libro na nasulat ko, she was my abid fad. She made sure she always have a copy of my released books, even if romance wasn't her genre.
Pinasadahan ko ng haplos ang mga gamit niya, binuksan amg drawer upang tignan lang ang mga naiwan niyang gamit. Kikay siya, always.
Napansin ko ang pink na notebook niya, this must be her diary. Napangiti ako nang makita ang hand written niya. Isasarado ko na sana, nang may mapansin akong nakasiwang na papel.
Kaya binuklat ko ang page, at nakita ko ang litrato niya kasama ang isang lalaki.
Pormal ang lalaki habang si Sie ay malaki ang ngiti sa mga labi, if I'm not mistaken, isa to sa mga fashion event na invited siya. She was wearing fancy clothes. Body hugging red dress, her hair was tied up, with some strands in front while the man was wearing a suit.
Tinignan ko ang nakasulat sa page na yon.
"I love you, you will always be in my heart, even if I'm gone. I can't conquer this pain. I'm sorry, I have to leave,"
Kaugnay na kabanata
Seducing the Billionaire Live as her
“Thank you, Andy. I owe you this one. I promise to write a good one for you,”Andy rolled his eyes, and chuckled while tapping my shoulder. I know he is also having a hard time letting me go, I’m one of his best seller author, but I can’t move on, I can’t even move from my recent manuscript, and I think that would be very unfair.“No need to do that, Vannah. I’m rich. I can still eat steak without those publishers,” He jokingly said, kaya hinampas ko sya ng bahagya, and I earned a hearty laugh with that. He looked at me and give me a genuine smile and caressed my back.Minabuti ko nang manatili sa bansa, at hindi na ituloy ang proyekto na ginagawa ko ngayon, uuwi ako, at sisiguraduhin ko na pag sisisihan ng lalaki na ‘yon ang ginawa nya kay Sienna.“Thank you, Andy. Let me know if you want to visit me in Alegradan,” I said, and what I said is actually true, he can visit me anytime, he became one of my closest friend, not just my boss. He took a good care of me, and always make sure th
Seducing the Billionaire Interlude
“The question booth is now open,” I smiled, drank my water, and prepared myself for the questions. “What’s your next plan after this book, Ms. Valeria?” asked one, of the journalist, while holding a mini book, and her phone on the side, “As we all know, readers were requesting a sequel of this best-selling book, do you plan on granting it?”I chuckled, “Well, as of the moment, I have no plans to make a sequel of this book, since, I already wrote in seven volumes, and I think I made the book a finisher, I didn’t make it a hang cliffer, to reduce any possibility of readers, assuming it’s a hook to prepare for the new book,”“Ms. Valeria, some of the scenes, looked like non-fiction, like you really got it from your own experience, the writing was so detailed that people thought it was your first-hand experience, what can you say about this?" “Well, a book, especially a romance book, usually has at least thirty percent of non-fiction chapters,” I answered. Years had passed, and I becam
Seducing the Billionaire News
“Oh my god, Sie! What have you done again?” I hissed, as soon as I saw how messy her room was, “Seriously? You’ve been like this for a while?” “Sav,” she mumbled, but enough for me to hear it, I looked at her, and I saw her teary eyes, she seemed lost a couple of pounds, and her face was thinner than the last time that I saw her, “I love him, this was the first time that I fell in love, like, serious feelings,” “Oh, come on, just..” I put all the empty bottles in the bin, “Just go, and date a new guy, don’t embarrass yourself, just because of a guy, you are more than this, Sie,” “But I love him! I really do!” Sie hissed, followed by a loud cry, “I want him, Sav! I want him so bad!” she continued bawling, I just let her do what she wants and continued picking her scattered stuff, “Why would he do such horrible things? What’s wrong with loving someone?!” “I don’t know, I haven’t been in love, Sie,” I answered, honestly. “Whatever, wait, did Mom tell you I’m like this? Is that way
Pinakabagong kabanata
Seducing the Billionaire Live as her
“Thank you, Andy. I owe you this one. I promise to write a good one for you,”Andy rolled his eyes, and chuckled while tapping my shoulder. I know he is also having a hard time letting me go, I’m one of his best seller author, but I can’t move on, I can’t even move from my recent manuscript, and I think that would be very unfair.“No need to do that, Vannah. I’m rich. I can still eat steak without those publishers,” He jokingly said, kaya hinampas ko sya ng bahagya, and I earned a hearty laugh with that. He looked at me and give me a genuine smile and caressed my back.Minabuti ko nang manatili sa bansa, at hindi na ituloy ang proyekto na ginagawa ko ngayon, uuwi ako, at sisiguraduhin ko na pag sisisihan ng lalaki na ‘yon ang ginawa nya kay Sienna.“Thank you, Andy. Let me know if you want to visit me in Alegradan,” I said, and what I said is actually true, he can visit me anytime, he became one of my closest friend, not just my boss. He took a good care of me, and always make sure th
Seducing the Billionaire Photo
Why? Why would she do that? I kept on asking myself the reason why Sienna would do such a cruel thing to herself. Everybody knew her as the most bubbly and loving woman. She's a highly motivated person, you will never see her frowning, sad, or mad. "Our condolences, Savannah," tumango lang ako, at nagpasalamat, "We never knew, this will happen soon. We're very sorry," "It's okay, Auntie, Mel. Puntahan nyo muna po si Mommy sa dining," sagot ko, at binigyan siya ng pilit na ngiti. Upon hearing the shattering news, I immediately booked a flight home, good thing, mabait si Andy, at hinayaan niya akong umuwi, kahit halos malulunod na kami sa deadline ng publishing. I can't deal with this kind of pain, knowing that my sister's cold body and my grieving mother is here, waiting for me."Vannah, you have to eat. Hindi ka pa kumakain simula nang dumating ka, Ija. Come, I'll give you something to fill your stomach," "Manang Jo, I'm still full, and wala po talaga akong gana, kakain din ako
Seducing the Billionaire News
“Oh my god, Sie! What have you done again?” I hissed, as soon as I saw how messy her room was, “Seriously? You’ve been like this for a while?” “Sav,” she mumbled, but enough for me to hear it, I looked at her, and I saw her teary eyes, she seemed lost a couple of pounds, and her face was thinner than the last time that I saw her, “I love him, this was the first time that I fell in love, like, serious feelings,” “Oh, come on, just..” I put all the empty bottles in the bin, “Just go, and date a new guy, don’t embarrass yourself, just because of a guy, you are more than this, Sie,” “But I love him! I really do!” Sie hissed, followed by a loud cry, “I want him, Sav! I want him so bad!” she continued bawling, I just let her do what she wants and continued picking her scattered stuff, “Why would he do such horrible things? What’s wrong with loving someone?!” “I don’t know, I haven’t been in love, Sie,” I answered, honestly. “Whatever, wait, did Mom tell you I’m like this? Is that way
Seducing the Billionaire Interlude
“The question booth is now open,” I smiled, drank my water, and prepared myself for the questions. “What’s your next plan after this book, Ms. Valeria?” asked one, of the journalist, while holding a mini book, and her phone on the side, “As we all know, readers were requesting a sequel of this best-selling book, do you plan on granting it?”I chuckled, “Well, as of the moment, I have no plans to make a sequel of this book, since, I already wrote in seven volumes, and I think I made the book a finisher, I didn’t make it a hang cliffer, to reduce any possibility of readers, assuming it’s a hook to prepare for the new book,”“Ms. Valeria, some of the scenes, looked like non-fiction, like you really got it from your own experience, the writing was so detailed that people thought it was your first-hand experience, what can you say about this?" “Well, a book, especially a romance book, usually has at least thirty percent of non-fiction chapters,” I answered. Years had passed, and I becam
